Pinch Hitting Late Games Post

Apologies for the brevity and the lack of scotchy-level humour and insight…

Rams at Bucs (4:05, Fox)

Rapey Jameis and palz host the team that cannot offense. RedZone will surely show at least 5 plays from this thriller.

49ers at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)

So far, the SeaTruthers have looked awful shitty. That hypothesis will be put to the test in this one. First team to 10 wins. You can see why Fox is happy not to have double header coverage this fuckin’ week. Jeebus.

Jets at Chiefs (4:25, CBS)

One always wonders how the Jets will manage to Jets this one up, especially given the Chefs penchant for pulling undeserved wins out of their collective butthole. As far as I can tell, every Gang Green WR is injured, presumably with consumption.

Chargers at Colts (4:25, CBS)

BOLTMAN! is no doubt well-pleased with the early season competence, and viewers will no doubt be entertained by this defense-free matchup. Barn-raiser extraordinaire Andy Luck has to be feeling older than King Laserface of late, playing behind his tissue paper OL.

Steelers at Eagles (4:25, CBS)

Here’s the broadcast game pretty much everybody gon’ get. Which will mostly be DeAngelo and Antonio Brown carving the Iggle D a new asshole or seven, while Jeeeem and Pheeeel splooge all over each other about Carson Wentz’ poise. You’ll be very thankful for RedZone Channel, like you should always be.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Doktor Zymm

Okay, the guy on the bus giving his daughter a really entertaining lecture on the hoity toity vs the hoi polloi in the context of the magnificent mile has made this whole trip worth it

Doktor Zymm

There were voices and hand gestures about the types of hats people were wearing!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You encounter some odd folks sometimes.

Doktor Zymm

That’s public transit for ya

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fair point.

John Difool
JustStopDude
Redshirt

I give the Bolts credit. They put in two non-OL players on the OL to get extra guys there for the lateral. It didn’t work, but points for creativity.

Bortleback

The Titans were doing that years ago, it’s where Belichick got the idea for his ineligible receiver plays that confused the Ravens in the playoffs

JustStopDude

Holy shit what is Cam Newton wearing in his post game interview?!?

https://twitter.com/Panthers/status/780146479973347328/photo/1

Bortleback

Last week he was dressed like a monorail salesman

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least he showed up.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Mr. Peanut wears a monocle, Cam. GET IT RIGHT!

Spanky Datass

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Doktor Zymm

Is that a leather and suede tank top with a gemetric pattern?!

Wakezilla

Woooo!

C’mon Chargers, score a touchdown!

Also, why is an incredibly experienced ref crew calling SD/Indy? That seems like a waste

Romonobyl

But sassy ref was in Carolina?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nothing would be more hilarious than the Chargers gaining 79 yards on this play

Redshirt

BLEERGH demands this game extend one more play!

American Pie Story

It’s game over sir

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Game not over?

New School Zero

Sigh. Well, at least Mike McCoy’s seat is getting warmer.

Wakezilla

I’m surprised he still has a job. That’s gotta be a cost cutting move.

Bortleback

Think I’ll call it a night after I see how the chargers and/or colts derp this up. In theory I could stay up to find out how the bucs game ends……but fuck the bucs

Shogun Marcus

Umm…how you gonna do that? Buddy lending an assist?

American Pie Story

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Recovery Whiskey

Bolted the shit out of that one

ThursdaySkyGoddess

FUMBRE

Romonobyl

We are witnessing what happens when an electrical field collapses.

Gratliff

My defense scored 74 and my QB scored 51, and I lost. Fuck Fantasy football.

Recovery Whiskey

Philipe Rios

Romonobyl

Don’t see the real point in going for two, except hoping for a missed PAT.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cuck for Luck

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear Colts,
I still hate you.

Wakezilla

And with that hilarious touchdown, the Chargers are moving to . . . somewhere else in Cali

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bakersfield, I hope.

Recovery Whiskey

Salton Sea

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pismo Beach.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It was never really that sunny.

Sill Bimmons

I never found an all you can eat clam buffet either.

Bortleback

Tijuana?

American Pie Story

FUCK YEAH!!!!

American Pie Story

FUCK YEAH!!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

WOW TYDOWN

Recovery Whiskey

HODOR

Sill Bimmons

oh wow

New School Zero

Son of a bitch.

Romonobyl

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Sill Bimmons

NOAP

American Pie Story

NO

blackroseMD1

Ugh.

laserguru

So what do I do when Sunday Gravy is on football hiatus?

I make tuna noodle casserole with the crunchy potato chips on top and it was fucking awesome!

Not quite sexy enough for Sunday Gravy but Sexy enough for me.

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. So I’m guessing it’s a good thing I’m not watching the Jets? In comparison, a friend of mine now living in Oklahoma is at the game with her Chiefs fan boyfriend. I imagine she’s not very happy right now.

Doktor Zymm

No football here, what happening!!!

Sill Bimmons

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Brocky

Hey colts, you know that annoying thing you do where you win games you don’t deserve too?

Can you do that with a luck td pass

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dear Colts,
Please don’t listen to this man.

Romonobyl

I’d have loved to see a Trump/Christie ticket for Sill’s reaction alone.

Sill Bimmons
Dunstan

Christie’s just happy that Cruz is now responsible for making the McDonald’s runs. Seniority has its privileges!

New School Zero

Don’t fuck this up Chargers. Don’t you fuck this up.

Horatio Cornblower

I have some bad news…

JustStopDude

You know what one good thing that comes out of the Browns sucking year in and year out?

The National Treasure known as Mike Polk

https://youtu.be/2vpzHf9E5h8

Could you imagine another NFL team allowing this?

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit that’s amazing.

JustStopDude

Every monday, he just roasts the Browns on the local news. Its glorious.

Recovery Whiskey

Hilarious and amazing. Almost hope the team continues to suck, it results in such great humor

Recovery Whiskey

Since when did we turn into a nation of sissies that cant play through a lightning storm???

Sill Bimmons

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Romonobyl

That’s what she gets for eating not Mexican food.

Sill Bimmons

It was a less enlightened time…

theeWeeBabySeamus

As one who once had a golf bag and clubs blown to shit, when lightning bounced off a tree, and I was mere yards away, I’ll never question the “get the shit off the field when lightning shows up” mentality.

But it was a good excuse to buy new clubs, so at least I had that going for me.

JustStopDude

I was at a steel mill in the mid-west. I wasn’t used to weather out there. I go into the mill in the morning, its a beautiful day. I go smoke around noon, it looked like Armageddon had arrived. An alarm went off and everyone ran into the toilets (because they are structured to be tornado proof).

We are standing in there, bullshitting to past the time, and there is an explosion that sounded like an artillery round landed next to us and everything goes pitch black.

Lightening hit the transformer yard and destroyed everything. Easily in the top ten most terrifying moments of my life.

I don’t fuck around with lightening.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

RAT FARTS!

Recovery Whiskey

6 picks for Fitz

Horatio Cornblower

And that’s 6 INTs for Fitzmagic.

Don’t think I’ll be winning in the Insanity League this week.

New School Zero

Fitzma6ic

Brocky

Andrew luck with 6 tds over 3 games. Thats an average of 2 a game.

Looking at that statline, you’d never realize that an output of 3 tds in week 1, 3 tds in week 2 and zero in week 3 isn’t really all that useful

Romonobyl

I wonder what the odds are of me finding fellow Dallas fans in the Florida panhandle? At least they aren’t playing the Jaguars. I gotta go to a sports bar though, my doctor told my I’m not getting enough chicken skin.

Wakezilla

Cowboys fans in the panhandle? I bet it’s a lot.

Recovery Whiskey

Odds of finding Dallas fans anywhere in ‘Murica seems pretty good

Shogun Marcus

Look Indibibimbapabis, if I’m going to possibly move to you thereby having you as a foster team, you gotta fix yo shit. Round it up, take it to the shit store and sell it.

Sill Bimmons
Romonobyl

Asian Caldo.

Recovery Whiskey

Fitzmagic threw 5 picks

Horatio Cornblower

So far.

Horatio Cornblower

The Jets look, um, bad.

New School Zero
Sill Bimmons

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Wakezilla

I actually think Trump’s bullying demeanor will result in him getting a few points increase. Especially since Hillary seems to be running the worst campaign ever.

New School Zero

Yeah, I could see that. It does sort of depend–right now it’s pretty much Hillary’s race to lose right now, and Trump’s lack of details/confusing positions on topics could become that much clearer in the debates. So if Hillary sticks to the details and generally plays it cool to Trump’s bait (which she hasn’t been great at), then she could at least stay the course. That said, nothing seems to follow logical trains of thought right now, so who the fuck knows.

hippofant

22% of Trump supporters believe he’ll start a nuclear war.

SUPPORTERS.

So much for logic.

Wakezilla

Coincidentally, Hilary is getting the murderer’s row of the Bush Admin because they believe she’ll start one with Russia. Which is why she seems to be white-washing the Bush era so much these days.

I’m starting to believe Hydra exists and their plan is working.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, sure, but the Clintons have always had a hate-on for Russia (it’s all part & parcel of that ‘Murican Exceptionalism thang).

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Honestly, with the amount of money being spent to “modernize” our nuclear arsenal, any of these guys (or gals) could pull the trigger.

Senor Weaselo

They’re the ones rooting for it, I’m guessing because only by winning a nucuelar war can we MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

Or something.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

For the record, I do not use a knife and fork to eat any sort of pizza, including Chicago style stuffed pizza

Shogun Marcus

I approve your message.

laserguru

Same here. You just have to let the deep dish cool.
Sorry if I missed it earlier but are you a Gino’s or Lou’s person?

I’m in Lou’s corner.