Your “Sunday of The Troubles” NFL Open Thread

Kudos to all you folks that have stuck it out through “The Troubles”. Your patience will be rewarded with the issuance of bottles of single malt scotch to your respective residences.

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Glorious Chairman Dan

The reactionary midgets, slaves of Wall Street, have no defense against the ardent fury of Comrade D-Jax!

IronAvenger6491

Is DeSean Jackson, the one in the gang?

Dunstan

Stop it, Packers! They’re already dead!

...

What do you do when a player on your fantasy team literally dies?

New School Zero

Never play again?

Redshirt

Bengals Kicker may have dislocated his shoulder. By definition, that shouldn’t affect him at all, right?

IronAvenger6491

Giants will somehow, someway, let the [*Redacted] s make this into a game.

Just you watch..

Dunstan

Yup. Didn’t take long

John Difool

The Cowboys did it last week but even in a handicap match the [*Redacted] s are……. well, the [*Redacted] s.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, I can’t get excited about the Jaguras in the red zone. Nap time.

Dunstan

The eternal question

Gratliff

Maybe Detroit should just be relegated to the CFL.

Doktor Zymm

Eli fixed some of his ball security problems by naming the ball “Balley” and pretending it was a cousin of his bear, “Beary”

Gratliff

Still missin u shady

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it wrong for me to want Car-Min to end 10-2?

Doktor Zymm

Yes. It should end 22-2

King Hippo

yes. 10-4 would be the tits!

Redshirt

Yes. 10-10 tie with five safeties.

Shogun Marcus

A Farve/Sanders flashback?! Seriously fox wtf?

Doktor Zymm

When questioned about his poor performance in the Red Zone, Cousins noted that usually, red means stop, and he has simply been reinforcing cultural connotations about the color in question.

Shogun Marcus

Too true. Now if it were the yellow zone…VROOM!

New School Zero

“Red means stop, and I don’t score unless I get clear consent.”

Gratliff

I can’t believe Miami was the consensus survivor pick.

Spur

How many open TDs has Cousins missed this year? I know of at least 2 last week.

Romonobyl

Jerome is staying busy in Carolina.

Spur

Mariota needs to be recused from Tennessee.

herodotus450

Someone call William Jennings Bryan!

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Tackling Vikings, how does it work?

Gratliff

But did Emmanuel Sanders give it three pumps?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Derek Anderson is warming up.

What is things I don’t want to hear, Alex?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Didn’t know old horse balls was still in the league

Shogun Marcus

Literally stripping the Loins now. I have a hard time believing Captain BlueBunny had anything to do with this change.

Doktor Zymm

Stripping the Loins? Are you sure you’re watching football?

Shogun Marcus

Do you like gladiator movies Timmy?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where’s Covalent? The Ravens have her initials on the back of their helmets today.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This early slate of games is making me think it’s a good time for a nap

Doktor Zymm

A good thing? Neat!

Spur

nice return by Crowder

Spur

[*Redacted] s, when you knock the ball out of the QB’s hands, don’t just stare at it…

Doktor Zymm

There are two fouls on the play, also, the play is just foul

John Difool

And mom thought I liked going to the drugstore with her when I was a kid because I enjoyed her company.

Romonobyl

Didn’t know they did that in Canada.

Spur

Eli got crushed. Get that man a HiC and pudding cup stat.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

He never could get the hang of opening a Capri Sun.

Redshirt

What do I sacrifice to BLEERGH? A live goat? A virgin? What?!

New School Zero

Zebras. Duh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But don’t forget to check to make sure they’re virgin zebras.

New School Zero

Holy shit. That Trump ad was like a parody of political ads. It’s no wonder things turned out the way they did when he got elected.

Spur

The best thing about the MLB postseason is that Joe Buck goes anyway for a while.

Shogun Marcus

Rodgerssquareddown.

Shogun Marcus

Loins still haven’t learned how to cover that particular combo.

Redshirt

Knee down before the fumble? What is a fumble? What is a catch?

What is football?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Pacman forgot to clean his hands after dranking dat purple drank.

Gratliff

Carson Palmer doing everything he can to throw a pick

Spur

Why is the announcer saying Mariota is a rookie?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Idiocy?

JustStopDude

That was an amazing, one handed interception, on a ball that should have never been thrown…

Dunstan

So… King Henrik and the Sedin Twins, or the team playing for the pride of Slovakia, Slovenia, Denmark, Austria, Germany, Switzerland, and two other countries I forget…. WHO YA GOT?

Uh, this is the World Cup of Hockey thread, right?

Romonobyl

Ho-ckey?

Gratliff

Missin u shady

Romonobyl

Everybody look at your hands…

Doktor Zymm

Yay! Kirk didn’t Kirk that one up!

Doktor Zymm

And he’s back to throwing at the ankles….

Doktor Zymm

So…are the Giants actually much better this year, or is it just that they’ve played 2 NFC East teams and the Saints?

Spur

They should have lost the game in Dallas, and am not being a homer.

JustStopDude

Do Jaguar fans actually exist?

Spur

Rooting for the [*Redacted] s is hard. Not just because it goes against every fiber of my body, but also because holy shit they are not good.

JustStopDude

I think Kirk hates his receivers. He has a real knack of putting the ball in the most dangerous place possible for the receiver to attempt to catch.

Gratliff

Zorn is gonna be fucking shit

Gratliff

The Zorn is gonna be fucking shit?

Gratliff

Correct

Romonobyl

Decisions decisions…
My hotel is within staggering distance of a Twin Peaks. Should I go there for the first half of ‘muricas team vs the Don’t Care Bears or stay stuck in my room? None of my coworkers here care about football and I’m at risk being a Dallas homer in the Republic of Florida, but cabin fever is kicking in hard.

Spur

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Romonobyl

Good call. I have access to a car, but bad idea during a business trip. Either I’m hoofing it or doing the Uber.

JustStopDude

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