Don’t you just love flurstbulb? Gspecially when they plat in Londern and you can trink all blay long. WHOO! P! 2 TA BLAMES!!@X!!!!!!!!!!
Den/TB-Believe it or not, rb Doug “I’m super healthy this year, honest!” Martin is out for this one. The Broncos counter with de Ware being de-sidelined. This one’s a wash. For you fantasy dudes, take a close look at rb Sims for Tampa-not the best of matchups but he’ll get a ton of touches. Yes, it’s only 3 weeks in but wr Evans is trending towards 1600 yards and 16 TD’s. I’d go with 1300 and 11 if he’s solved his dropsy problem. Trevor “I’ll try hard not to lose the game” Siemian has acquitted himself better than most folks expected. Of course that D gives him quite a bit of leeway.
LA/Zona-The Rams have won 2 in a row? [looks at standings] Yup. HC Fisher is that co-worker that does just enough to not get fired when upper management is eyeballing him. I hate those guys! Plus, he probably doesn’t cut his nose hairs. Last week the Cards could have crushed Rex Ryan’s chances of coaching the rest of the year but instead chose to fold like a Walmart-purchased deck chair. The chances of each of these squads returning to form this week are very good.
NO/SD-“Don’t You Forget About Me.”-Both Team’s D
Simple minds like yours truly want to the see the world and both of these D’s burn. Let’s have a 53-48 “this is what you really want, Goodell” final score.
Dal/SF-The Dez has a hairline fracture and didn’t show up to his MRI apparently. What the hell do you want Jerry? THE GUY MAJORED IN DRAMA!* (*may not be even remotely true) If you’re in a PPR league you’re in love with a little Beasley. Qb Gabbert is getting it done in the “Start Kaep” department-his 5.5 yards per attempt is last among starting QB’s. As a Giant flan, (and who doesn’t love an over-sized flan?) I’m hoping that the Niners steal this one but there may not be enough smoke and mirrors in California to pull it off and that’s saying something. What am I trying to say? Nothing.
Now, my sweet, sweet monkeys, GET GOING!
OK, has every basedball player become such a pussy that they have to wear Oakley ski goggle to keep champagne/beer out of the eyes? Seriously. Fucking pussies.
And while we’re on the goddamned subject (and keep in mind this is my team I’m denigrating)…you won nothing. You barely beat out a shitty Tigers team. You now have a one game playoff to get into the real playoffs you fucking dicks. Stop acting like you won the WS, or even won the division. You could have won the division had you not shat the bed for the month of August.
Fuck right the hell off. Fuck me.
I love the Orioles. But Orioles acting like douchenozzles. Deserve to lose to either Toronto or Detroit (dunno yet) and go home early.
Fucking dickheads.
Good question, between Baltimore and Toronto who do I hate more, so who do I want going out in the WC game and who do I want getting smoked by the Rangers (hopefully)?
/As long as the Sawx lose too of course
I’m OK with that.
HAHA Nacho sighting.
I know he caught a TD pass just now. Floyd is still a goner.
Nope. Not gonna wear these. Though entertained that the ass crack is apparently labeled part #20.
http://ipfunny.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/29200685634_am.jpg
Dak’ll make a fine runner up to the RoY award.
Did Norman get 15 for shooting a bow and arrow because a guy in a [*Redacted] get up shooting a bow and arrow is offensive?
[*Redacted] s-specific penalties would be perfectly acceptable.
Or is it because bow and arrows are violent?
Like, what if he made the pick then sat down and started weaving blades of grass into a basket for carrying a child on your back?
Sitting down would definitely draw a penalty, even accidentally falling on your butt is considered unsportsmanlike.
Zebra down
No damn clue what’s happening here, but there’s probably an AA.Ron Rodgers joke and something about kicking the Cowboys in the ass.
http://bashny.net/uploads/images/00/00/13/2013/05/18/3912270dbb.gif
That led me to this. Thanks, Dok
AHHH!
YEEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Pray for my entire endocrine system please.
You aren’t jumping up and down in horribly impractical patent leather cowboy boots, shooting pistols into the air, are you?
Ummm…no. Why do you ask?
/tapes over webcam
NIOCE Pass by Dak
All I want is for Dak to do a Romo here
Get broken in half?
Bring them to the brink of the playoffs then go full meltdown?
Apart from the field old Jack Murphy is pretty much a fucking dump. The sound system is horrifying and the standard def TVs look like they were stolen from a Motel 6.
The weather is fucking gorgeous though. And cheerleaders!
Now you’ve seen the glory of the Spanos Spending Spree, or lack thereof.
So I just saw where Lindsey Lohan’s finger was severed in a boating accident.
Probably not a good idea to hang on to your John’s money-clip like it was a life preserver.
She used to be so hot……how the mighty have fallen
Just looked it up. Sliced off the tip of her finger and it was reattached by a plastic surgeon.
She probably did it to get some oxy.
Another pass to Michael Floyd (in a contract year) right on the numbers. Another Michael Floyd drop.
He’s gonna look great in a 49ers uni next year.
A new awardee for the coveted Ginn Coin
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/47916/308832479158026.jpg
Orioles clinch wildcard…wooooo.
Orioles clinch wildcard…crap.
/mixed emotions are mixed
Based….balls???
The BFiB are whining that the Dodgers threw their game against the Giants because they were scared of facing the Cardinals. Nevermind that the Dodgers had nothing to play for and the Cardinals can’t play them until the NLCS which means they’re too dumb to realize how the bracket is set up or they’re convinced they’ll knockoff the Mets AND Cubs without a problem…
I’m sorry, I should short this: Fuck St. Louis.
Michelob Ultra, it’s not QUITE non-alcoholic beer
I keep waiting for Deer Park to buy it out and call it “Deer Park Lite”
Terrence Williams so fucking dumb
Lady Gaga showing she can memorize lines, dress like a coke-whore cheerleader at the same time
I think Lady Gaga is going to fuck Strahan
Going to? They have lots of time between when they’re on-camera.
Iron Liver Witten, God bless him.
I thought it was his spleen?
Was it spleen? I just know he was playing the next game.
I’m strangely at peace with bad calls against the Niners. Not reinforcing the Cowboy stereotype at all.
I suspect we have different ideas of the Cowboy stereotype…
The sad thing is that ARI will write this season off as an unfortunate outlier and bring back Betcher and Palmer next year with no QB of the future in the ranks.
QuarterPax WOO!!!!!
“There are a ton of Cowboys fans in Levi’s Stadium today.”
Are the Village People doing the half-time show?
see picture above
Jesus christ, Arizona is murdering survivor pools
Never survivor pick against STL in division games. That’s where they make their living at 8-8.
Carson Palmer is really goddamned awful. Why do they not run with David Johnson like 30-35 times a game?
There are times that I think that Palmer and Arians deserve eachother
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/50266/c723c5502657348.jpg
Some advice for life: Never listen to Roy Keane, or anyone associating themselves with his name
Mentally, I’m losing my mind. I need to go out and do something and maybe run some errands and whatever. But the flesh is weak and achy.
You know yourself pretty well, is there something you can do that’ll make you do healthy stuff? The earlier you trick yourself into not being hopeless, the better. There’s a point of no return, where it’s just the couch and maybe booze and lots of sleep, if you get there you just gotta ride it out.
It’s too bad that Supercars are way sexier than kickers, otherwise Josh Lambo would have a great natural endorsement deal.
He should be in a Sylvester Stallone parody movie. Lambo: First Blood, Part II
Dez looks like a Sith Lord with that hoodie. Darth Dez.
looks like a collarbone owie to me
NO/SD, both teams have colors that are fairly pink friendly.
Denver, Tampa are the LEAST
Donks had a good run
HOLEE SHIT, tis QuarterPax time for the Donks in Tampa…
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SEMEN JOKES?!?!?!
That shit was gift wrapped by the NFL
http://media.tumblr.com/bf133d0314ccc5653f02852e901bb1db/tumblr_n3e3tqRALd1sff1xno1_400.gif
You’re still on my shit list T. Williams.
HAHA
Dak is more respected by the Zebras then Cam
Just goes to show where the Carolinas have fallen to, when they make Texas seem reasonable.
THE FUCK THAT WAS
What a horseshit call on the Niners
Was a weak call, but I’ll take it!
Boo birds are out in ari.
DAK LIVES MATTER!!!!
Indeed.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/50498/19d7d7504970895.jpg
Dok:
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/49375/72a8f6493743590.jpg
That’s an unreasonable request. Denied.
I can’t pretend to care about these games anymore. Zymm, what opera did you go see? Give me every detail about the show. This sounds sarcastic but I care far more about this than the games. I honestly would have asked before but didn’t want to bug you too much about it so I faked forgetting to ask til like 2.
It was Das Rheingold. Instead of me trying to describe it, I recommend going to the Lyric Opera website and watching the preview video. It was good stuff.
I don’t understand the rules. It’s totally cool to stir imaginary cake mix after a TD, but a bow and arrow after an interception is not cool? I need a full list of mimed actions and an official ruling of each.
THE NFL IS IN BED WITH BIG CAKE – THE SWEETEST CONSPIRACY YOU’RE ONLY JUST LEARNING ABOUT
Remember the baby diapering? That set the bar for me.
And he didn’t even wipe the imaginary babies ass….PENALTY : DIAPER RASH
Inman got in, man.
Most of this movie was shot in Albuquerque, and it’s just another reminder of how fucking ugly and depressing that shit hole is. Anyone who says the southwest is beautiful is out of their goddamn mind.
All I know about Albuquerque is that’s where Bugs Bunny always took wrong turns.
And there’s a reason why he never stopped there or that it was the destination.
During your descent into alcoholic dementia, did you ever try to warm up leftover corn in the fridge? I didn’t banana either.
What is a “sack”?
A thing to put balls into
Or potatoes!
/fires up Snapchat…
“I’ll take “The History of Tea Bags” for $200, Alex…”
-Aaron Rodgers on Celebrity Jeopardy
“Sit down. This may take a while.”
-Livius
AGH CREEPY CLAY MATTHEWS AD CAN’T UNSEE
A damn pee-wee team could run on the Chargers defense.
4-man rush and ARI still leads STL’s leading WR wide open.
BIRDCANO looks more like The Birdcage.