Your “Another Game? Sure, I Guess I’ll Watch” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Kudos to those of you that viewed *all* the football yesterday. That is an amazing commitment on your part. Between the booze and the better half staring at me with her hands on her hips I was not able to get it done. I don’t use the word ‘hero’ very often but you folks are the true heroes of this site. You’re the glue that keeps the macaroni on the construction paper of the open threads. TO THE GAME!

NYG/MINNY-[looks at Giants injury report] WHY GOD, WHY? Hey, remember last year when the Giants secondary was struck by a rash-ton of injuries? Well, looky here-tonight cb Rogers-Cromartie is limited, Apple is done and safeties Thompson and Berhe are out. That means that qb Bradford, he of the 67.8 completion % and passer rating of 107.8 might just have himself a walk in the park. He’s very accurate on short/medium routes so look for wr Diggs and te Rudolph to shine. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! The Vikes have 15 sacks in three games and are going up against an average O-Line. This is the very situation where the Giants need Eli to pull the old 420 yards passing gem out of his ass. It’s not out of the realm of rational thinking given his wr trio of OBJ, Cruz and Shepherd.

Now…START YOUR KEYBOARDS, GENTLEMAN!

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Lothar of the Hill People

McClellin is on NE now. Maybe he can hit Tawmmy during practice.

http://assets1.sportsnet.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/rodgers_collarbone.gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Hillary Clinton could get under Donald Trump’s skin as easily as cornerbacks get under Odell Beckham Jr’s skin she would already be president.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Wait for debate #2, when she just tells Trump to stop whining like a little bitch and grow some balls. That should do it.

Spur

What’s more likely: OBJ gets ejected on 2nd personal, or he gets a TD?

WhyEaglesWhy

I’m guessing both.

Senor Weaselo

Second taunting ON a TD?

IronAvenger6491

Yes

synapticmisfires

McAdoo almost showed some balls. Almost.

LemonJello

Good thing he double checked his zipper before taking the field.

IronAvenger6491

What a bunch of pussies, go for it.

Lothar of the Hill People

This reminds me–I gotta take a leak.

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Sill Bimmons

“What do you do for a living?”

“I exist and people take photographs of me.”

“Do they have some sort of training program? Because that sounds like pretty good work if you can get it.”

Spur

Odell’s a bitch.

IronAvenger6491

Beckham is pretty good at this football thing but awful at this anger management thing.

Sill Bimmons

SO NICE YOU SAID IT TWICE

IronAvenger6491

I didn’t mean to.

Sill Bimmons
IronAvenger6491

Beckham is pretty good at this football thing but awful at this anger management thing.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Was Odell applauding his own penalty?

Sharkbait

Im down 44 with Minnesota D and Diggs. I’m fucked aren’t I?

Claymaker

Coming into tonight I needed 9 points from Eli in a league that gives 6 for passing TDs.

/Reaches for bleach

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was halfway through that ad featuring a vast and threatening and absurd conspiracy before I realized it was a commercial for a new Dan Brown movie and not a Trump campaign ad.

IronAvenger6491

So before or after the bye, when Bradford finally hurts himself this season?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Why not both?

Spur

I’m going with the after. Raise hopes just to crush them.

Senor Weaselo

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say during.

Lothar of the Hill People
Spur

Why couldn’t the Cowboys play this shitty version of the Giants on week 1?

IronAvenger6491

Don’t worry, they will in week 14

Lothar of the Hill People
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
IronAvenger6491

I wish i was watching Luke Cage or Westworld right now, but i’m not….

*stares at bleach again*

IronAvenger6491

*Norv Turner pops up on screen*

Somewhere, someplace, Lazerface has gone Super Sayian.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “Laserface” was the advice given to teenage Norv by his dermatologist.

Lothar of the Hill People

Wow. If this one had a snaggletooth, she’d be the twin of my wife’s girlfriend when we lived in Florida.

LemonJello

Teeth? Didn’t notice.

herodotus450

Wife’s girlfriend? Didn’t notice.

Lothar of the Hill People
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I keep telling you, YES.”

Dick Vitale, filling out his NCAA bracket

IronAvenger6491

I see it’s another week of “Defense has showed up to play double time because the Offense is drunk” for the Giants.

LemonJello

OH HAI!

Lothar of the Hill People

Holy fuck, that was perfect. Laughed my ass off.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Goodness I’ve seen more tits here than oncologists at Kettering-Sloan.

Lothar of the Hill People

This one’s better. More Eva, less weird guy shooting pool.

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Brocky

Dad:So you spend $10 a month for the wwe network and all you really watch is the ppvs?

Me: Yeah, and the show NXT they run every week

Dad:and its worth that?

Me thinking:</

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Me:</ Yeah

hippofant

4

Sill Bimmons

Aren’t they all the same woman?

hippofant

Yes. I still prefer 4. Maybe. Or 3.

herodotus450

I can’t tell if they’re the same person or 4 different ones. Or of number two goes by the initials Lexi B. No wait, that’s too specific, L. Belle.

IronAvenger6491

Oh Commander Shepard, no.

Lothar of the Hill People
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Odell Beckham looks like a black Eraserhead.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Banged his way out”
Story of my life.

Lothar of the Hill People

THIS SAM BRADFORD, I CALL HIM COLONEL JAMES FORSYTH, BECAUSE HE REPLACED THE GUY WHO STARTED THE MASSACRE OF THE WOUNDED KNEE

IronAvenger6491

Nice stadium, but my god that carpet was ugly.

IronAvenger6491

Fire Gruden and replace him with Marshawn Lynch.

LemonJello

Correction: Fire Gruden, INTO THE SUN, and replace him with Marshawn Lynch.

synapticmisfires

We had a deal five-head! You get a second Super Bowl Ring and in exchange, you go away. That means no more fucking Nationwide jingles.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

He will
never ever
die

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, that’s what they said about Al Davis.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Al isn’t dead, he’s gestating.

Sill Bimmons

Someone just had a GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY in the fucking lavatory right behind me.

I’ve never shit my pants, I’ve never taken a shit on a plane or train, and I can honestly count on both hands the number of times I’ve had to take a shit in public.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I shit in public constantly.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

In the middle of the park is the bestest, while folks try to play ultimate frisbee.

LemonJello

Constantly? Have you thought about seeing a doctor?

...

I too have no qualms about the idea of shitting in a public toilet although some of them are pretty fucking gross.

Lothar of the Hill People

You’ve shit in public?

Good grief, man. USE A TOILET!

Sill Bimmons

Now he tells me…

LemonJello

Did you get PK’s autograph, or not?

Sill Bimmons

I haven’t seen him, but if I do I assure you I will give him the full DFO love treatment.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bro, when the Citrucel wants to talk, ain’t no shutting it up.

IronAvenger6491

I hope someone tells Eli, that people can’t catch with their feet.

Sharkbait

First Church of BLEERGH-New York Chapter is conducting a successful mission trip to Minnesota.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Does everyone get those shitty Toyota ads, or am I in an alternate univrse where Corolla owners think they’re cool?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The lesson is that roller derby is back and primed for violent ogling.

LemonJello

Thank Jeebus, I thought it was a NoVa/DC thing…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Adam’s half Hispanic, so not only is his last name Carolla, he was conceived in one”

Senor Weaselo

We get Eli Toyota ads! They’re as ridiculous as they sound.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When you search “bewbs gif”, this is the top result. I approve.
http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Bewbs_1c0c0e_2575955.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is result #2. Again, totes approved.
http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll147/Jn_barnes/bewbs.gif

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m guessing #3 involves Wolfman Rob at the beach, just shakin’ them babies out!

Lothar of the Hill People

Is she someone… ‘famous’? I’ve seen the gif many times, but I have never been able to find any other, ahem, material starring her.

Sill Bimmons

The second one is Shay Laren, and she does produce other “material.”

IronAvenger6491

That was interference, but i’ll take it!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ha, the corner rejected Shaun Hill’s congratulatory fist bump. Bradford has rendered him more useless than tits on a board (until his inevitable injury).

Senor Weaselo

Posterboard tits would feel a bit weird.

Sill Bimmons

Isn’t that “tits on a boar?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also yes?

Lothar of the Hill People

I guess NY isn’t playing defense?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They have an exhibit at Seattle’s EMP Museum (which was really fucking cool) that simulates Qwest Field’s crowd noise.

The person outside the sound booth could hear me but I was yelling my balls off. I can’t imagine doing that for a whole game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That type of throw will not get you w juice box.

Sharkbait

Wow Eli. Wow

IronAvenger6491

I really, really hate Gruden, he might be worse than Simms.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, are you Dan Snyder in disguise?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t know, PHEEEEEEL

Sill Bimmons

PHEEEEEEL will always be the worst because of that cornpone accent he puts on.

Sharkbait

Collins is still worse though.

IronAvenger6491

I forgot all about him, my god, imagine all three together.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Damn I miss Pat and John.

Shogun Marcus

Pat missed most of the 70s and 80s.