Before I begin, I remind you, gentlemen, to check your testicles every three months to make sure there is nothing unusual.
Remember, prevention and early detection is key!
Speaking of, how is football in LA going, you may ask? Let’s dive in:
WEEK ONE
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because my Steelers played on Monday Night Football and Directv was doing a free preview. Also, I was dealing with family stuff, so I barely watched any of RedZone.
Local Team?
The Rams lost on the road, as expected.
WEEK TWO
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because my Steelers were the national game on CBS, so I saw them for free.
Local Team?
The Rams won a surprising and embarrassing game over the Seahawks. One buddy attended and the other sold his ticket for twice face. It was 100 degrees out.
WEEK THREE
My team: The Steelers got embarrassed by the Eagles.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because I spent all day Sunday in the high Desert at the live studio/tent taping of the first episode of The Grand Tour. Yes, it was fucking awesome!
Local team?
The Rams surprisingly won on the road!
WEEK FOUR
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No because my Steelers played on Sunday Night Football. I worked on things around the house and barely watched any of the games.
Local team?
The Rams surprisingly won on the road!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
My decision to cut Sunday Ticket has been validated. The Rams are surprisingly 3-1 but due for a fall and my Steelers are 3-1 and tied with the Ravens for first place but the toughest stretch of the season is coming up fast.
Let’s take a look at the standings, shall we?
| NFC East | W | L |
| PHI | 3 | 0 |
| DAL | 3 | 1 |
| NYG | 2 | 2 |
| WSH | 2 | 2 |
| NFC West | W | L |
|---|---|---|
| LA | 3 | 1 |
| SEA | 3 | 1 |
| SF | 1 | 3 |
| ARI | 1 | 3 |
| NFC North | W | L |
| MIN | 4 | 0 |
| GB | 2 | 1 |
| CHI | 1 | 3 |
| DET | 1 | 3 |
| NFC South | W | L |
| ATL | 3 | 1 |
| TB | 1 | 3 |
| CAR | 1 | 3 |
| NO | 1 | 3 |
| AFC East | W | L |
| NE | 3 | 1 |
| BUF | 2 | 2 |
| NYJ | 1 | 3 |
| MIA | 1 | 3 |
| AFC West | W | L |
| DEN | 4 | 0 |
| OAK | 3 | 1 |
| KC | 2 | 2 |
| SD | 1 | 3 |
| AFC North | W | L |
| PIT | 3 | 1 |
| BAL | 3 | 1 |
| CIN | 2 | 2 |
| CLE | 0 | 4 |
| AFC South | W | L |
| HOU | 3 | 1 |
| JAX | 1 | 3 |
| TEN | 1 | 3 |
| IND | 1 | 3 |
Jésus, some divisions are pure dog shit. Looking at you, Souths!
Denver is trying to Trent Dilfer its way to back to back championships while New England has seemingly refinanced its deal with the Devil in order to go 3-1 without Brady. Some made-up team is leading the South. Sounds about right.
The entire NFC outside of Philadelphia is shit. Normally, I’d add East after NFC, but this year you don’t need to. I refuse to believe the Falcons will christen their Asshole with a Superb Owl let alone a NFC championship. The North is … cray cray. I have no idea what is going on in that division. The West is led by the Seahawks/Rams potpourri of suck.
Here are my playoff team predictions at the quarter pole:
AFC: Denver, Oakland, Pittsburgh, New England, Houston, Baltimore.
NFC: Philadelphia, Atlanta, Minnesota, Green Bay, Seattle, Dallas
Btw, in case you were wondering, my balls are A-ok! How are yours?
I leave you with a piece of advice: Never trust a hipster douche in a hat.
See you at the halfway point.
RAM IT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
(rebooted fandom is still awkward)
(but my balls are fine thanks for asking)
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7693ab8198f06e5de031206d744f0f0d/tumblr_nhfq8y35fw1rqrt0mo1_400.gif
I actually appreciate this tweet. Perfect text and photo combination.
ProstateCancerCanada @ProstateCancerC 4h4 hours ago
Ben Stiller shares inspiring story facing #prostatecancer and advocates for early detection including PSA testing
“Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because I spent all day Sunday in the high Desert at the live studio/tent taping of the first episode of The Grand Tour. Yes, it was fucking awesome!”
I’m so fucking jealous.
Good to see that your balls are back at full capacity.
http://www.bringthenoiseuk.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/The-Fury-Black.jpg
More importantly… how was The Grand Tour, and how much can you tell us about the goings-on? Second, do they have permission to say “cock”?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJnQyrQuggI
The one word they said they could not say in the US was “cunt”. Weird, huh?
The show itself was awesome. Similar format to the old show in many ways with some key differences. They have definitely listened to the complaints about the show not being as much of a car show. At the same time, they are still funny af and the comraderie they have is as good as ever.
I loved every second.
That’s fucking awesome. I had no idea they were rebooting the show. How many slurs did you hear muttered by Clarkson during the taping?
I remind you, gentlemen, to check your testicles every three months to make sure there is nothing unusual.
Sooooo….define unusual. Because….well, never mind.
Just a reminder; one probably shouldn’t check in a meeting even if your topic is not up.
Check your testicles every 3 months? More like every 3 hours, amirite?
**crickets chirping**
\Did I overshare? I overshared, didn’t I?
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and guess this was written before last night’s game.
There is this other team in the NFC besides Philly you know.
I still love you, Balls but still.
This WAS mostly written before last night’s game. Here is the thing, though: You have Sam Bradford at QB. The man will not last a full season.
With our defense I can start at QB.
/also would not last the season
By the end of the year, your knees will be better than Bradford’s.
I hear Fran Tarkenton is available.
“That’s not my name, is it?”
-Trent Green
Philly’s QB is a rookie and the more film on him available to DCs the less effective he will be until he or if they adjusts back. Bradford is being protected better than he ever has and the office is a great fit for him; they are getting rid of the ball quicker. Bradford with that scheme and that defense could have his best year; he doesn’t need to be great, just enough. You also need to wait until Bradford is on IR before putting him on IR. Plenty of other teams where their QBs are getting the holy fucking shit beat out of them on a much higher rate than Bradford……. like those that face his defense.
You and the media need to pump the brakes and wait a while before nominating Wentz to the HoF.
The Sunday Ticket for me was a waste of money also. I watch too much as it is.
As you said earlier, my fren, tis a long season. I liken Wentz to Brocky with the Broncos last year. Yes, they will figure him out, but by then the Eagles may be in the playoffs.
We shall revisit this in four weeks.
Side point; I have a feeling Wentz will be better faster than Brocky.
Any team losing the year long starter at or near the playoffs will be screwed, no different with Bradford. He has an injury history, but as the investment people say; past earnings are no guarantee of future results, especially given the situation he is in now being much better than the past.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mazficjzPD1rqrt0mo2_400.gif
Ha! Mess with the Vikes at your peril.
And weirdly the NFC East is the only division without a team below .500
Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse?
It’s only week 4. Has 9/11 taught us nothing about how precisely timed controlled demolitions have to be?
And of course the South sucks in both conferences. The South sucks at everything.
COUNTERPOINT – “El sur” [The South”], by J.L. Borges: “The solitude was perfect and perhaps hostile, and Dahlmann suddenly suspected he was travelling into the past and not only toward the Sur.”
God I really miss school sometimes. A nice English translation here: http://www.24grammata.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/borges-el-sur-24grammata.com_.pdf
” The North is … cray cray.” Yep. You can tell from the eyes. Those Scandinavian devils are not to be trifled with.
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/50780/3d4981507791076.jpg
I just wanted to show off a new find. This is the image I should’ve gone with.
http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/533495593_1280x720.jpg