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Your Super Entertaining Sunday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Hey, fellow ruffians! There’s a ton of retrotainment going on ce soir. Whether you choose the debate, the baseball or this wonderful football tilt, I’m all ears and fingers.

NYG/GB-The qb Eli has not played well the last two weeks. He’s got an extremely talented trio of wr’s to go to but his throwing decisions tell me he’s 22 years old, not 35. Whatever. A much smarter qb-Rodgers-will pick apart a depleted Giants secondary to the tune of at least 3 scores through the air and I will hate everything and everybody. That sounds about right. Goddamnit! In other thingys-enjoy the implosion that may occur tonight during the debate.

No matter what occurs-KEEP THOSE FINGERS FLYING!

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Sill Bimmons

Here it is, fozz!

THE ULTIMATE CHICAGO SHOW IDEA

http://cdnb.20m.es/trasdos/files/2014/12/Auto-Polo-Chicago.jpg

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Spur

I’d actually respect him better if he said he was drunk off his ass

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JustStopDude

This reminds me of my military time. Every once in a while, I would get stuck with shore patrol. Basically the whole boat goes to shore to get drunk except for the people on duty. I once fucked up in a liberty port, so for punishment, I got stuck doing shore patrol duty. Basically no drinking and rustling up the drunks, breaking up fights, and getting idiots back to the boat.

You ever want to feel like a kungfu artist, be stone sober with a billy club against a blackout drunk dude.

This is like watching one of those fights. Completely one sided.

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Romonobyl

That was Loverboy?!?!

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Mr. Trump why are you sniffing your fingers?”

“I miss Melania.”

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Gratliff

Only 5 minutes left until Trump hits his max attention span and starts the yelling

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Doktor Zymm

BS, when I’m president I’ll make the NFL institute a rule where I can call the field and overturn shit.

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Senor Weaselo

Zymm 2020

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

HRC going hardball early. Also not sniffing.

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jjfozz

I will not watch the debate, instead I will go stick my dick in an electrical outlet.

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LemonJello

BOLTMAN wishes you rethink your actions.

**STOMP, STOMP, CLAP**

//Fires t-shirt cannon into the face of a Make-A-Wish child

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LemonJello

Derpastic punt coverage, large men.

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Senor Weaselo

Who expects Anderson Cooper to play the Vanderbilt card if Trump talks about his wealth?

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Doktor Zymm

When Hillary is president, she should hire a couple of somewhat bumbling men named Richard to work together as advisers. This will make Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix’s name even more funny.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh holy fuck. I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome that is. It would have made my now dead father laugh his ass off.

Thank you for this, Dok. Sincerely.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

5 – 4 = 1
Jeebus…I was joking before, but now I really am getting too fucking drunk.
But 8 for 8 fuckers.
I can do 1st grade math and shit.
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Gratliff

Your cookies are bad and you should feel bad.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My cookies aren’t bad…YOUR cookies are bad.

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Gratliff

I’ve never been spontaneously logged off 🙁

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Shogun Marcus

Mine are delovely and delicious I’ll have you know.

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Shogun Marcus

How in the hell do you keep getting booted? I’ve been on continuously for hours with no problem.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea. Gratliff is probably right….this puter has been trying to die for a while. My attempts to fix it all went for naught.

I’m supposed to have a new tower soon, but it’s already 2 days late and will likely be at least 2 more due to hurricane.

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Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

How does Trump not understand trade deficits?

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Gratliff

I do miss the Trump impersonator from The Nightly Show. When Trump tries to soften his voice, it sounds almost exactly the same.

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jjfozz

Last night, I decided to drink ALL THE BOURBON. I feel like refried shit.

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Spur

Donald took a xanax.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Sounds like he snorted it.

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Sill Bimmons

A Xanax, a turkey blaster full of lithium…

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Romonobyl

Turkey blaster?
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Sill Bimmons

baster, blaster…its telling not speling smh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Trump brings up Iran again. Fucking no-win for HRC, honestly.

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jjfozz

If Trump and HIllary had a baby, what in the fucking shit would the world do?

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King Hippo

hopefully, kill that fucking monster

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I don’t know, the thing would be too busy fingering itself to do anything.

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Spur

This election has stooped so low people need to ask if their children should be involved in it.

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...

I remember when the Starr Report came out because it was published in the Chicago Tribune and my parents took it out before I could read it.

Yes, I’m younger than most of you. COME AT ME.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN ME!

‘sall I got.

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Doktor Zymm

If you were to measure the volume of Trump’s hands, how many milliliters do you think they would be?

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...

This made me snort.

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LemonJello

56mL?

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Sill Bimmons

obvs

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Two clits and a labia

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Spur

Reach out and grab them by the pussy. Or taint if you are the QB for the Packers.

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JustStopDude

Not a fair comparison…both of those characters can form logical sentences on south park…

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JustStopDude

I keep getting my hands stuck in pickle jars…how would you two candidates help me in my daily life?

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

“I’m an undecided voter, because I lack cognizance or the ability to make decisions.”

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Sill Bimmons

“My doctor says my brain stops at the stem.”

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Sill Bimmons

RODGERSCEPTION

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Spur

Disappointed that nobody is wearing overalls.

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WCS

How in the piss have you not made up your mind yet? These people deserve to be sterilized.

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King Hippo

NEIN handshake!!

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jjfozz

Frozen tundra. Eli kiddie jokes. Colinsworth eats it. Fuck odell. More fat jokes about Packers fans. Gay jokes about Rogers.

This day ate shit. Like it was a shit casserole with a side of shit salad, and shit bread on the side. And to drink, shit.

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King Hippo

guess what we got FOAR DESSERT??

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jjfozz

A huge slice of shit cake, with shit frosting. And frozen shit ice cream.

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Spur

I hope they frisk Trump, he could come out with a trident.

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Moderators? Referees might be a better idea.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Have Officer Pantoleo choke someone out if they get too frisky.

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King Hippo

JER-RY!!! JER-RY!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

8 – 6 = 2
smgdh
SHOT!!!!!!!!

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Spur

http://i.imgur.com/5RSTvNg.gif

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Romonobyl

This doubles as an intelligence filter.

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Spur

Fully expect the town hall to descend into trash-TV levels of hooting and jeering within 10 mins.

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Sill Bimmons

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“Now, a word to our audience: even though we’re being broadcast on Fox, there’s no need for obnoxious hooting and hollering.”

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Doktor Zymm

I kinda want to learn how to play harmonica, but I suspect it’s difficult.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hey, blowing on the right hole is an invaluable life skill.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This needs banner quote recognition. Just saying.

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Croooow

“A yuuuuge hole”

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Spur

Hey Melania, you wanna get outta here?” – Bill

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JustStopDude

I would seriously never allow any female member of my family alone a room with Bill Clinton.

It utterly infuriates me that Bill Clinton has basically gotten a complete pass for being a serial sexual abuser.

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Sill Bimmons

And the guy who ruined the country.

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Spur

Yup.

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herodotus450

Hmmm, you’re right, maybe trump wouldn’t be such a bad president after all…

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Hey, don’t I get a chubby Jew intern? That’s why I RAN FOR THIS SHIT!”

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JustStopDude

Oh I am voting for Hildawg. I think she has been an exceptional Secretary of State. Out of all the candidates, I think she is the only one of them that could find France on a fucking map.

She is more than qualified.

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...

It’s interesting to hear this considering how many liberals I’ve heard who hate her record as SoS.

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Sill Bimmons

Pretty sure nobody said that.

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John Difool

Word

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Unsurprised

Fuck this shit. I’m watching Westworld and then going to bed.

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Unsurprised

“Unsurprised? He ded.”

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Sill Bimmons

Tina Fey really rubs me the wrong way.

I keep telling her not to yank so hard, but…

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JustStopDude

T-minus 10 minutes to the shitstorm!

My nipples are erect in anticipation!!!

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...

I think the only reason to watch that is to see if Trump finally has a psychotic break.

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JustStopDude

I will organism if he he keeps fucking up, gets frustrated, and just calls Secretary Clinton a cunt during the debate.

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King Hippo

a TELEVISED psychotic break

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Sill Bimmons

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, CSPAN time. May the lord have mercy on us all.

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ALXMAC

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scotchnaut

10 Burger King nuggets for $1.99-that’s a lot of sawdust for that kind of money!

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...

The penultimate ad of Burger King’s current advertising philosophy will just be some kid yelling at you to buy a Whopper or he’ll twist your dick off.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

3 + 9 = 12
Fuck off WordPress, how fucking remedial do thing I am?????
SHOT!!!!
Holee shit….I think that really was a catch.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

7 for 7 now btw.
I’m smrt.

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Romonobyl

I’ve always preferred multiple choice myself.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

If you’re driving a bus at 60mph, and you start from LA, heading toward Mejico, and it’s 120 miles to the border….Then what’s the name of the bus driver.

Hee hee….Brady Bunch ftw.

Another very obscure reference.

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John Difool

Algebra sucks…thank god I’m not getting those.

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Shogun Marcus

No chum…YOU’RE a catch!
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Romonobyl

You know what would be awesome? If humans were issued only so many words that can be spoken in a lifetime, and Collinsworth hit his limit by halftime.

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Doktor Zymm

Green eggs and ham was actually written on a bet about the number of unique words you needed to have a reasonable plot.

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Romonobyl

Sounds like my resume.

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Sill Bimmons

Ignore the flagrant push-off there ladeez n genlmun!

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Spur

Anyone else feel there’s a high likelihood Trump drops “Bitch” sometime tonight?

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Sill Bimmons

I’d be surprised if he didn’t at this point.

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...

He’ll say “bitch” and explain afterward that he was really keeping his cool because he could have said “cunt” instead.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

You’re talking about Bill right?

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Senor Weaselo

The correct scorecard for this debate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhMhrhxw9pw

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