The internets are telling me that NFL viewership is down. How much? Enough to worry some wonks, that’s how much. My solution to this problem of team owners only making hundreds of millions instead of billions involves razor blades and butterflies. Now hear me out!-it goes like this. Uh…umm… Okay I’ll be honest, this is a sort of reverse-engineering thingy whereby I come up with an answer and then try to figure out a way that makes sense of that answer. The reverse-engineering analogy is weak but none of you outside JustStopDude could give a damn. TO THE GAME!
Den/SD-The Broncs are down their HC so it’s “Next Coach Up!” The fella that isn’t being held back by The Migraine Protocol is one Joe DeCamillis. He’s the Special Teams Coordinator that smirks at Wade Phillips every time they pass in the hallway and says, “I wonder why they didn’t make YOU the head guy tonight!” Speaking of coaching changes, it’s a bad sign when you come across more than one article that itemises who the interim coach of the Chargers will be come Monday. I’m guessing it won’t be the personification of failure that is the Chargers DC. Them Bolts give up 28 points and nearly 300 yds. passing on a weekly basis. That’s added up to 17 TDs so far. I guess it’s up to de Bosa to stop the 10 game-strong division losing streak that the other teams out west AFC-wise currently enjoy. In limited play last week he put together 2 sacks and 5 tackles. As far as quick starts by de’s are concerned, he’s got nothing on the Bronc’s Von Miller. The best defensive end in football (suck it, JJ Watts) has 6.5 sacks and will no doubt add to his total ce soir. It looks like Trevor Siemian backers are strutting around after qb Lynch’s play last week. That QBR of 11.7 last week against the Falcons speaks volumes about where he is in his development.
They say that the sincerest form of flattery is typing-SO TYPE!
Gentlemen.
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Revenant nutria.
Who?
Wow, Philip rivers talked about “cramming it in”, I guess kids 8 and 9 are on their way
The only good thing I can conceive of about Kevin Can Wait is that it means steady work for Erinn Hayes, who I like.
….Why are the Chargers wearing a new shade of blue?
Brothers, I apologize for my absence, getting used to the new gig. Now that I have my own office, I can get back to fucking off on DFO all day.
PS
The girl who works near me has an ass that you could eat a peanut butter sandwich off of
I’m going to take that to mean she has very good ass hygiene.
That’s good.
Or that 2 out of 5 kids have a severe allergy to it.
Extra chunky
BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT EXPOSED TO FINE ASS AS BABIES AND NOW ARE HYPERSENSITIVE TO IT!!!
No apologies. Keep it up…. so to speak.
My work and I didn’t have a very good day….. white middle management problems, but fuck I’m stressed out.
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Flat ass?
Marble.
You don’t even need a cutting board!
The one thing I really hate about modern NHL is how people throw numerous punches without throwing their gloves off to try and goad others into dropping them.
King Laserface could have the first ever MVP season for a 3-13 side
The donks orange isn’t so bad, but the bolts blue reminds me of that ultradense black material. It just absorbs all light around it.
Here’s my sure fire recipe to feed the kids when your wife is gone:
1. Get milk.
2. Get cereal.
3. Pour milk over cereal.
4. Forget bowl.
5. Yell out, “OH YOU COCKSUCKING MUPPET CUNT!”
6. Clean up mess.
7. Feed kids.
8. Bourbon and ice.
9. Pour into glass.
10. Silently curse your wife.
My morning is 5, 10, 8, 6!
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OK, that was….. weird.
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my bedroom teevee is having a stroke from these unis
That was a surprisingly tasteful tribute to Dick Enberg.
Plus, the man started Phil Simms’ broadcasting career. That must’ve been some rough times, considering how polished he is now.
Color Rush? More like Color FLUSH, amirite?
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Gotta say these are the only good Color Rush unis tonight
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Dick Enberg should be calling this game.
And ouch, the Sunkist has burnt mine eyes. TEH GOGGLES DO NOTHING!!!
Never change, Fleury.
Oh, so you’re a Flyers fan?
Tell me again about Fleury’s problems…
Flyers goaltending is a particularly low hanging fruit. I am not sure that there have been many years since Hextall retired where he wouldn’t be a better option than either goalie on the depth chart.
Did I just see a Duluth Trading ad with the word “grope” in it?!
“Tougher than a bear’s grope?!”
Hmmm…there’s also this:
Is it just me or is Duluth Trading shitting on the presidential candidates here?
So do I watch a Broncos-Chargers game I don’t care about or hope that I get to see Sid and Ovi somehow end each other’s careers spontaneously in some sort of freak accident?
Four Banners.
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Should’ve been Tanger for Conn Smythe.
Fleury vs. Murray: the best problem in the NHL.
Flower’s more of a tender lover, his upbringing in Quebec ensures that! Murray’s a blue-collar amorous guy, those years in the Soo hardened him in more ways that one!
I love you all!
I kind of regret never watching the Greyhounds play. Even though I lived right across the river from then when I lived in Sault Ste Marie, MI, I never actually went to see them. Could have seen a young Wayne Simmonds murdering unsuspecting kids. All I have now is the Saginaw Spirit and they are shittastic right now.
I see Flint has it together, though, when your shitty owner gets banned for 5 years, it can allow for some freedom.
In a year where the least of Flint’s concerns was its awful hockey team, it somehow still managed to be a well-published clusterfuck.
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And to think, 12 years ago, we were on the verge of the Kansas City Penguins or some shit. Missed opportunities.
Mario is God.
Okay, Pittsburgh. Orion’s a solid choice there.
I always wondered what was with the goofy ratio on NBC’s live streams. Now that they force adblocker off to play, apparently it was for inline commercials. Fuck you, internet.
Is this where the wake for Mike McCoy is located?
Chicago cheering vs. shitty Penguins singer: WHO YA GOT!?
What scheduling wizard decided the Flyers should start their season 2 days late and at 10:30 pm against the fucking Kings, and then at 9 pm at Arizona? At least the Chicago game is at a sane time, even if it is 4 fucking days after the season starts. I’ve only got like 8 months of hockey left, people. Let’s get with the fucking program.
Pete Rose is drunk already.
“Who is he trying to kiss?”
-Joe Namath
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WARNING-OLD GUY SPEAKING!
That series was The Wire + Breaking Bad + Mad Men + The Sopranos.
/no “equal” sign in that equation?
//Oh yah
+WEIRD+FUNNY+great pot smoking show= pizza ordered
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Irvin’s purple-pink tie reminds me of breast cancer in the same way that Picasso’s “Blue Period” reminds me of Red Miller’s “Orange Crush” D that reminds me of Paul Brown’s Browns.
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Sambrailo and Heuerman, inactive. Odds of blocking somebodddday?
SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASED!
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Thanks FOAR the slanty thing change, Internet Dad! All glory and honor to Fearless Leader!!
and I thought my comment was racist!!
scrolly!
/might be having own stroke, sorry
//giant beer in fridge should help, right?
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hawkey hawkey hawkey hawkey hawkey
woot
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BOLTMAN IS READY TO COACH HIS SAN DIEGO SUPER CHARGERS TO GLORIOUS VICTORY AND BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF THE FALLEN!
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IS THAT BANAN CREAM?
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OH N HE SEXAY.
One of those days where you just need a damn slice of pie.
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Is the headache in the picture good at math?
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“I’m the biggest racist I know.”
-Richard Petty