Your “Will I Be Judged For All That Drinking?!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The Packers traded a conditional draft pick to the Chiefs in exchange for Knile Davis. Lacy’s gimpy ankle means they need more help behind the line.
    • Because what’s clearly holding the Packers back right now is the running game.
  • Having possibly borrowed something from the owner’s private stash, Chuck Pagano says he’s “encouraged” by the play of the Colts so far.
    • “We gotta figure out a way to become a four-quarter team,” says a man unaware he’s on the firing line.
  • Vontaze Burfict is being scrutinized by the League for two hits from Sunday’s game versus the Patriots, a low hit on Martellus Bennett and a stomp on LeGarrette Blount.
    • Not to nitpick, but the stomp would get Ndamukong Suh two games.
  • Chip either liked what he saw or he’s no longer going with The Flow, but Kaep is getting the start Sunday versus Tampa Bay.
  • Pass Interference specialist Richard Sherman explained his 3rd quarter imitation of a four year-old on the Seahawks sideline during their victory over the Falcons. “Things didn’t get communicated the correct way, and that’s how it happens.” They won, so Pete Carroll ain’t care.
    • On the topic of sloppy avian fellatio, check out Michael Silver tongue-bathing Russell Wilson:
      • “…it was abundantly clear that the world’s best quarterback under the age of 30 is a 5-foot-10 5/8-inch wizard with a preternaturally low pulse rate impervious to pressure.”
  • On the topic of penalties, did everyone catch Sean McDonough last night?

ESPN has a nice story about Twickenham, where the Rams & Giants will play Sunday. Those Commentists who follow rugby know the place, but for others it will be a nice introduction to the “cathedral of English rugby”. Having visited last time I was in London, I highly recommend going on a tour. Plus, English pubs!

 

Finally, somebody must have dusted the room while I was watching this story about a 14 year-old “super fan” the Saints signed to a one-day contract to be their social media rep for their road game versus the Chiefs. His name is Jarrius Robertson, he has something awful called Biliary Atresia, and he’s been through more than most of us will endure in a lifetime. He met the Saints during a trip to the hospital he was staying in, and they like him so much he goes to practices and yells at players. There’s video of him giving it to Falcons fans at a recent home game.

https://youtu.be/Lw3a_MKUKBs

Needless to say, if he survived a year in a coma, he can handle a weekend in KC.


 

By the time this thread is published, the Cleveland Indians may have won Game 4 and are set to play in the World Series. Clearly, the fifth seal is being prepared for opening. As it says in Revelations 6: 9-11:

(9) When he opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God and the testimony they had maintained. (10) They called out in a loud voice, “How long, Sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?” (11) Then each of them was given a white robe, and they were told to wait a little longer, until the full number of their fellow servants, their brothers and sisters, were killed just as they had been.

Waiting for the National League Champion to be declared is the “a little longer”; the ‘white robe” is the AL Champion t-shirt.

The Cavaliers winning the NBA championship was the fourth seal. The upcoming election is the 6th seal.

 

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB Playoff: Game 3: Cubs at Dodgers – 8:00 PM | FS1/Sportsnet
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Penguins at Habs – 7:30 PM | Sportsnet1
    • Flyers at Blackhawks – 8:30 PM | NBCSN
  • NBA Preseason Basketball: Clippers at Kings – 10:00 PM | ESPN

The third debate is tomorrow, and the election is three weeks today.

WE’VE ALMOST MADE IT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

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Fronkenshteen

Finally got so drunk I fucked up the math problem to get in here.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/3468139/avengeme-o.gif

Senor Weaselo

Anyone for the best theme song for a show nobody watched?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8WYh8uz3pQ

Unsurprised

Nobody? Fuck you.

Unsurprised

Damn kids and your music.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

I don’t know what this is from, but I want to now.

Unsurprised

I have no idea.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What in sweet holy fuck is wrong with midwesterners?

http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/51047/2eb89e510463521.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Even the iguana clerks need sleep.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to have a beer and watch a movie.
Nite gents.

Senor Weaselo

Senor’s Rule of 86 might still be in effect! Suck it, breaking the Rule of Threes!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I really want to see Frank Thomas reach over and knock Pete Rose off his chair, and then choke the bitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

That memecenter watermark is fucking outrageous.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I may be more irritable than usual and should just go to bed.

Mr. Ayo

Just be happy it wasn’t an NFL memes watermark

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just be happy it wasn’t an NFL memes watermark

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That screaming lady playstation TV ad is fucking annoying, but late at night, it’s a goddamn hazard.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If I ever learned to time travel, and came back to some villain in my life.I think the first thing I would do is look into that. The Flash seems to not care about his.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If I ever learned to time travel, I’d go back and bang your grandma.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Go for it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sports press conferences suck. Why doesn’t someone grow some balls and ask “Coach Maddon, you’re famous for your snarky sayings, and one of this season’s mantra’s was ‘try not to suck.’ So why do you guys suck right now?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

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Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

They haven’t hired me to teach them… yet.

...

/long exasperated sigh

/long airy fart sound

theeWeeBabySeamus

Joe Maddon’s office in about 10 minutes?

Brocky

oh shit, evil dead gifs, great idea moose!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Foreplay at Curt Schilling’s?

Unsurprised

That’s a good Sill impression

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it safe to say that perhaps…just perhaps…billy goats are smarter than ppl?

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. I would say the North Side of Chicago is in full butt clench mode. Dok, can we get a field report?

...

Saw a rant earlier saying Theo needs to figure out how to unload Rizzo and Russell, so it’s less butt clench mode than smear our own shit all over ourselves while weeping and screaming mode.

Shogun Marcus

Think she said she’s back in DC (wherever home is) foar work this week.

Gratliff
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

makes u think

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Underballs.

...

A stalled car that’s out of gas that gets hit by a semi would be a better metaphor.