Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It seems that in honour of tonight’s third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom:

  • Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior.
  • Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger.
  • Fined: Vontaze Burfict – $75000 + no games.
  • Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno.
  • Shoulda let Mom make the Chunky: Dez Bryant.

One shining light is that Tyler Eifert – the new poster boy for eliminating the Pro Bowl – has begun practicing with the Bengals.

At the League’s Fall meetings in Houston, the Rams, Raiders & Chargers all gave updates as to their stadium situations. Mark Davis gave updates on both Oakland & Las Vegas, most likely in the Lionel Hutz “truth” and “TRUTH” voices.

Finally, the NFL & NFLPA released a joint statement on the protocol procedures followed after Cam Newton got rocked in the Thursday NFL opener versus the Broncos. You can determine its tl;dr status here. The two main takeaways are that

S-M-R-T
S-M-R-T
  1. Nothing amiss occurred in the sideline evaluation; and
  2. Ed Hochuli was correct in forcing Tyrod Taylor off after his hit.

I’m shocked…SHOCKED that the League would investigate itself and find itself to have done the correct thing. This kind of arrogance & confidence is why no one liked Teflondre.

Despite his kangol tam.
Despite his kangol tam.

Hey! The Blue Jays are out of the playoffs.

 


As usual, not much will happen in the debate tonight. The only important question was asked & answered a month ago by Big Daddy Drew.

what-happens-if-trump-calls-hillary-a-bitch-during-the-debate

 

Fox News’ Chris Wallace is tonight’s moderator. His topics for the debate are: debt and entitlements, immigration, economy, Supreme Court, foreign hot spots, and fitness to be president. I anticipate he’ll be more fair than the average Fox journalist, possibly lulling Trump into a false sense of security. At this point, there’s not much drama, outside of the special guests,

And none of them as beloved.
And none of them as beloved.

 

and tarmac games of chicken.

 

On the Trump side, he’s flying in Malik Obama, Barack’s half-brother (same dad), and Benghazi-truther Patricia Smith, who lost a son in the attack and whose confirmation bias only blames Hillary:

“I know she murdered him … I do hope she will tell me something. I don’t think she will because I don’t think she’s got the guts to tell me what happened (in Benghazi).” (CNN)

Mrs. Clinton is countering with Mark Cuban and Meg Whitman, because who doesn’t have billionaire friends they can fly around on donor dimes?

The tastiest protest of the evening is the “wall of taco trucks” being built in front of trump’s Las Vegas hotel in advance of tonight’s debate at UNLV.

It’s not around the complex, but it does make for an impressive, delicious sight on the one side of the street.

 

Tonight’s sports: (by God, we will need them)

  • Women’s Volleyball:
    • Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Auburn at Mississippi – 9:00 PM | ESPNU
  • NBA Preseason Basketball: Knicks at Celtics – 7:30 PM | ESPN
  • MLB Playoff: Game 4: Cubs at Dodgers – 8:00 PM | FS1/Sportsnet1
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Red Wings at Rangers – 8:00 PM | OLN
    • Leafs at Jets – 8:00 | Sportsnet
  • Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Switzerland – 9:00 PM | ESPN2

Plus, don’t forget about the new South Park tonight

It’s been a good season so far. BEWARE TROLL TRACE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

At what point does Drumpf throw a glass of water at Hillary? Or Chris Wallace? Or both?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Double fisting?
I don’t think his fingers are long enough for that.

Sill Bimmons

IT HAS SO COST SOMEONE SOMETHING IT COST THE DODGERS A RUN AND A CONTINUATION OF THE INNING

scotchnaut

Most under-appreciated New York athlete? (if there is such a thing) I submit Bernard King

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxUCTeR0klY

Sill Bimmons

Right behind him?

Eli Manning.

Spur

These two should just fuck and get it over with.

WCS

The #MAGA crowd crowned Drumpf winner and new Emperor of the Universe three months ago.

Sill Bimmons

Holy FUCKBALLS I didn’t read this until my comment was posting.

Sill Bimmons

Three months ago.

Senor Weaselo

THESE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES, I CALL THEM THE MALEBOLGE BECAUSE I’M PRETTY SURE IT CAN ONLY BE IN THE DEEPEST PARTS OF HELL.

Sill Bimmons

If that wasn’t clear and convincing evidence that the guy was safe I don’t know what is.

And I really wanted him to be out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Open discussion….that’s funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Call on the field rules the day I guess.
But that looked pretty clearly safe to me.

Sill Bimmons

Safe.

...

Should have tagged his arm.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. Dude’s reaching for the plate, you put the tag on the plate.
Wow…can’t believe that they upheld that.

...

They had to have ruled his hand was above the plate and didn’t get down early enough. That’s the only explanation.

That or they had a feed we never saw on Fox.

WCS

Apparently not.

...

Holy shit.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

Safe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stupid tag…stupid tag.

Spur
Sill Bimmons

If it doesn’t end in .jpg or .gif it won’t post, and if there are any “=” or “?” marks in the post .jpg/.gif gibberish it won’t post.

Spanky Datass

imgur, still just the worst ™

Sill Bimmons

Or imgur, but…

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LemonJello

And a good evening to you all!

I have a feeling this will be the interwebs by the end of the night:

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...

Just like Cubs Twitter!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Won’t take that long.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons

WHY IS HIS PINKY TRUNCATED LIKE THE OMNES VIDENTES PYRAMID ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

theeWeeBabySeamus

Debate Commission Reviews Format…which no one will follow.

Sill Bimmons

Strangly or stabby?

RAIDERS NATION CARES ABOUT YOUR HOMICIDAL RAGE

Spur

If UNLV gets to use the stadium as well, this shit is getting built. PAC12 and Mountain West CFB will play their championship games there.

The stadium would be considered for a spot if the CFB Playoffs expanded too. Too much money as at stake for the LVCVA to let the Raiders not come.

...

Well at least Addison made good contact.

yeah right

That was right in front of us.
Warning track power.

...

Better than Heyward who had a ball dead center in the plate and fouled it off weakly.

Unsurprised

Fuck it. I’m taking a walk until I die or the sun explodes.

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

/inhales

Anyone else ever get the idea that the IASIP gang is the comedy Beastie Boys?

Glenn Howerton is Mike D, Rob McIlhenny is MC A (RIP goddammit), Charlie Day is Ad Rock, and Kaitlin Olsen is Luscious Jackson combined.

Think about it…

//exhales

Beastmode Ate My Baby
theeWeeBabySeamus

No Comment.
😉

theeWeeBabySeamus

I plead da fif.
😉

...

I hope y’all talk tonight because I don’t want to fill this my insane baseball bullshit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude, I’m still trying to figure out how to abduct Buck Showalter and get him into my basement for torture and dismemberment. You’ve got a ways to go before you get to insane.

...

Honestly, being one and done is actually preferable to watching a three-day-long drowning in a foot of water.

scotchnaut

/watching NBA Classic Hoops

Hagiography-wise I hate the mother-loving shit out of Larry Bird. That said, the guy was a great ball player.

/20 years-that’s all it takes to not hate with a white-hot heat a guy. Who knew?

...

Let’s show a bunch of offensive stats with no context! Guess what? EVERY TEAM HAS BEEN POOR OFFENSIVELY THIS POSTSEASON.

jjfozz

I wonder if the fuckbrains who sign up for Naked and Afraid are aware that they do not receive any reward.

Christ, they’re dumber than my wife.

Sill Bimmons

Is she really a Trump supporter?

jjfozz

Yup, she’s voting for him. I told her she was an idiot. That conversation didn’t go well either.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m shocked…shocked I tell you.

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

Condolences.

My ex and I had 99 problems but politics wasn’t one.

jjfozz

She was raised by a narrow minded, holier than thou, judgemental, prudish, unaccepting mother who calls herself a good Christian, and happens to hate black people, muslims, Jews, and anyone who is not a good white Christian who is also a rabid, brainwashed Republican.

You know, just like Christ wanted.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Praise Jeebus.

Sill Bimmons

If only they’d actually read their book.

Spur

We watching baseball until the shit show?

http://i.imgur.com/rDZ8fdt.gif

...

You’re very nice not to call baseball a shitshow.

JustStopDude

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Is it time yet?

The end…of…days?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was a pretty toss.

...

Joe Buck announcing a game is never something you enjoy. You may tolerate it, you may not hate it, but you’ll never enjoy it. He’s, at best, cafeteria food and at worst something you spew across the room.

I suppose if he knew how to call a game if what happened on the field didn’t fit his pre-determined talking points, I’d cut him some slack, but alas…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Joe Buck always gives me the shits.”

-Anon.

jjfozz

Joe Buck needs to have a flaming, barb-wire wrapped, telephone pole shoved up his ass.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stop booing, Dodgers fans. If you’re throwing at somebody you don’t throw at their foot you fucking nimrods.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rex?

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeezy Pete…looks like they’re gonna make to multiplication tonight.
I need to drink.

theeWeeBabySeamus

to = me do
Maybe I don’t need to drink…yikes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

I’m staying off Cubs Twitter tonight. The only good Cubs tweet I’ve seen in the last 24 hours was when a guy said we (the fans, not the team) don’t deserve a World Series.

Sill Bimmons

Trust in Joe.

Joe Knows Baseball.

Doktor Zymm

How’s your Malort supply holding out?

...

*burp*

Spur

Folks.

scotchnaut

In theory…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

Yes, Smoltz. That little bump pre-All Star Break that lasted about three fucking weeks where no one could pitch or hit. Just a small thing. No Cubs fans lost their minds then at all. Nope. We never do that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m sure the butter is on the way…. it HAS to be.

Gratliff

Trump has apparently leaked his complete foreign policy plan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB0i55TQI6c

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Pete Rose is baseball’s Donald Trump: a perpetually-dishonest goofy-looking con-artist beloved by mediocre white dudes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

538.com has downgraded the Cubs chances of winning the WS to 25%, while the Dodgers are at 32%. You should probably panic.

DOOOOOOOOOOM

Sill Bimmons

Just make it really shallow in the draft and broad in the beam.

Bernoulli once said “Give me a solid gold ship 30,000 cubits broad and one cubit deep and it will displace enough water vis-a-vis the volume to float!”

It’s not as catchy as Archimedes’ lever but every bit as applicable.

Sill Bimmons

/reply fail FYWP

Doktor Zymm

It’s all good, I follow what you were saying. The problem is, gold is a soft metal, do we even have the technology to rivet something like that together? I’m not up on my metallurgy.

Sill Bimmons

You can’t rivet gold, you have to cast it.

Small potatoes FOAR TRUMPMERICA

Doktor Zymm

One point no one has raised yet : Given Trump’s love of putting his name all over shit in giant, tacky, shiny letters, who here is ready to live in TRUMPmerica? Even if he can’t change the name, I’m pretty sure the giant wall he wants to build has nothing to do with immigration and everything to do with another surface to put blinged out TRUMP insignia on.

Sill Bimmons

30 years from now he’ll need a solid gold aircraft carrier.

Doktor Zymm

Crap, now I want to go do some calculations and figure out how to make such a thing float

...

Eh. He’ll just gild it and pretend no one knows the difference.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and not pay the contractors.

Sill Bimmons

Just make it really shallow in the draft and broad in the beam.

Bernoulli once said “Give me a solid gold ship 30,000 cubits broad and one cubit deep and it will displace enough water vis-a-vis the volume to float!”

It’s not as catchy as Archimedes’ lever but every bit as applicable.

...

The Cubs didn’t do anything about lefties! They only scored three runs on seven hits off Bumgarner to drive him from the game after five innings. THEY CAN’T HIT ELITE LEFTIES!

Sill Bimmons
...

Hehehe… tit.

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t know Flacco was left handed. He must have suppressed it in his youth since it’s associated with demonism.

...

Kyle Hendricks is baseball Joe Flacco.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

The Cubs faced no adversity this season! They didn’t have a 5-15 stretch mid-season losing middling teams! They have no idea how to come back!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Remember, the Cubs offense is shit because they’ve only scored 25 runs in seven games.

Unlike the AL Champions from Cleveland who have scored a whopping 27 runs in eight games.

Always trust the narrative, folks. Always.

yeah right

I shit you not they had Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis announce the Dodgers line up.
Fucking LA man.

Sill Bimmons

I am primarily pulling for the Small Bears, but holy FUCKBALLS is there a significant anti-Dodger fraction in there.

...

A friend of mine in L.A. tried to talk me into flying out there for one of these games. He said we could just buy tickets at face value for about $100 to any of them. Were my schedule not bad this week, I might have done it.

Consider that I had to enter a lottery for all Cubs playoff tickets.

Sill Bimmons

It’s going to be so much fun watching you all watch this thing.

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JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

Except helium.

Helium doesn’t burn or stars would never burn out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

THAT MOVIE DIDNT SCAR ANY OF US NO SIR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DID YOU SAY WALL OF TACO TRUCKS? BECAUSE A WALL OF TACO TRUCKS SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING DELICIOUS IDEA! MANY WALLS OF TACO TRUCKS SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE WESTERN US AND RICH ASS FAT CATS WHO DON’T PAY TAXES HAVE TO PAY FOR HARD WORKING AMERICANS TO HAVE FREE GOD DAMN TACOS!!

Sill Bimmons

AND THE MESSIKENS WILL PAY FOAR IT WOO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess my intent by saying “RICH ASS FAT CATS WHO DON’T PAY TAXES HAVE TO PAY” didn’t come across.

Sill Bimmons

No, it did, I just wanted the Trump supporter reading this to have the clarity of a binary opposite to focus his aggression on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, they do “interpret” things….. differently.

Sill Bimmons

That’s the most charitable thing ever posted on this webzone.

Sill Bimmons

I just got back from picking up Korean wings from across the street, and the liquor store next door was packed like it was New Year’s Eve.

I dare say that between the [Baseball Redacteds B] win, a possible Cubs win, and the debate, this might be the drunkest Wednesday night in history.

I know I’m going to be drinking the bongwater.

Bottoms up, fuckos!

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/58126368.jpg

Sill Bimmons

Double fried and drenched in ginger-chili sauce:

http://sbrfoodservice.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/korean-bbq-wings-1.jpg

jjfozz

Raise your hand if you had a conversation with your wife today that ended with her saying, “Fuck you motherfucker.”

Bitch.

ballsofsteelandfury

Since you have multiple kids, she is technically correct.

Now, you may not be a motherfucker tonight, but that’s a different story.

jjfozz

Gonna be a while before any of that shit. If it ever happens again.

yeah right

An hour and 35 minutes from home to my seat in loge section 159. It is 20 miles after all.

It’s currently 90 degrees at Dodger Stadium and I just grabbed my first 24 ounce beer.

Cubs woo!

ballsofsteelandfury

Good luck! We’re all counting on you!

Sill Bimmons

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JOE

jjfozz

Enjoy. You deserve it. Don’t ever get married.

yeah right

Too late. Was married for 10 years but I’ve been single for the last 18 years.
Let’s drink.

jjfozz

I’m on my way there – to not being married. Already on drink #3

Sill Bimmons

13 years, 3 years.

Irie mon!

jjfozz

You win!

Sill Bimmons

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...

Keep away from the other Cubs fans. We’re the worst.

Sill Bimmons

#nah #BFIB #smgdh

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