Your NFC North Not-Showdown Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Can you smell the weekend? What does it smell like? For some that experience that thing called “seasons”, it may have the odour of raking leaves. For you youngsters out there, perhaps the aroma of a failed bar pickup is invading your nostrils. For others, perhaps a trip to Bed, Bath And Beyond is stinking up your soon-to-be  Saturday afternoon. My weekend is beginning to smell like delicious, delicious ‘by myself-ness’. So sweet… TO THE GAME!

Chi/GB-So it’s come to this. The Bears versus the Packers. Your narrative will be all about the history of this matchup because this game isn’t compelling. Despite the Pack missing rb’s Lacy and Starks, cb Shields, te Cook, wr Adams and a sense of purpose, they should pull this out. The 4th-rate backfield of recently-signed Knile Davis and recently-converted wr Ty Montgomery should get things done against a Bears D that gave up the ghost long before All Hallows Eve. With 5 losses at this point, the Bears are staring at a 1-7 mark heading into their bye-bye week because they get Minny next time around. The rarest of all sports-related phrases can now be uttered by the denizens of Chicago-“Well, at least we have the Cubs”.

There you have it-TYPE LIKE THE WONDERFUL RAGAMUFFINS YOU ARE!

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Doktor Zymm

There are people in a fantasy league who sit a row over from me at work. One of them started Meredith. I haven’t gone over and talked football with them, because my fantasy team is so much better than either of theirs, and I don’t want them to feel ashamed or emasculated.

Doktor Zymm

Also, it’s fun to be patronizing and condescending from a distance, and I don’t want to fuck that up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Small bears take a 3-1 lead on a 2 run shot.
Fuck football.

Spur

McCarthy in that white hoodie looks like a harp seal

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trollsoharduniversity

He’s like white power Andy Reid

Shogun Marcus

He’s missing an ice cream sammich.

Fronkenshteen

concussiondown!

Doktor Zymm

The NFC North is not good this year. Except for the Vikings. And since they’re the Eagles of the NFC North, they can’t possibly win a Super Bowl.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

I’m just happy it’s not the same Duckworth running for Illinois senate

Lothar of the Hill People

Tammy Duckworth is pretty gritty. At least, I think that’s grit making all those grinding sounds when she walks.

Sill Bimmons

I had to check to make sure it wasn’t her before I made fun of it, because if anyone gets to write a book about grit it’s a Tammy Duckworth.

Lothar of the Hill People

Just to be clear, I think Tammy Duckworth is a stud, and I look forward to her being in the Senate.

But that won’t stop me from making squeaky-prosthesis jokes here.

King Hippo

From the annals of WHAT IS A CATCH?? the thing that is clearly not by anyone’s sane definition…sure, why not, call stands.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Finally, a Packers TD!

Nice job, refs.

Spur

The ball is fucking moving! Then Dez caught the ball TOO!

King Hippo

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

Doktor Zymm

They filmed an ep of chicago fire near my old work, right now they are filming an ep of chicago justice near my new work. What show will be filmed near my work next time I change jobs? STAY TUNED!

Senor Weaselo

Chicago Taxidermy?

Lothar of the Hill People

Chicago Sanitation

Duchess

Chicago Postal Inspectors

Duchess

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chicago Dog Catcher

Lothar of the Hill People

I love when the announcers start talking about how the call will be reversed, and then the refs let the call stand.

Senor Weaselo

Evening everyone. I may have personally slashed into our collective negative karma deficit this afternoon by doing a good, so yay us?

How’s the game?

WCS

Thursdayriffic.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What did you do that you think was so fucking good, anyway?

Doktor Zymm

This

Doktor Zymm

I’m legit curious

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me too.

Fronkenshteen

Incomp….

Sill Bimmons

That guy Ripkowski might actually be off the grit scale entirely.

http://www.johnsonabrasives.com/shop/pc/catalog/abrasgrade.jpg

Kungjitsu

I just remembered that the Bears lost to the Jaguars at home four days ago. If they beat the Packers, McCarthy has to be fired on the spot.

Fronkenshteen

Knees up Montgomery! We are going to run you till your asshole is sucking buttermilk!http://static1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130716100554/villains/images/6/66/Sgt._Hartman.png

Lothar of the Hill People

Rodgers doesn’t complete a pass, so it MUST be PI.

King Hippo

It’s amazing, the constant excuse making and/or ejaculating over a completed slant pass.

Lothar of the Hill People

I’m all for simplifying things. No contact beyond 5 yards, right? Throw the flag whenever there’s any contact, then. It would totally change the game, but at least the refs could be fucking consistent. And we wouldn’t have QBs like Rodgers and Tawwmy working the refs to get calls.

Brocky

Of course rodgers wants a flag. Fuck

/drinks

Doktor Zymm

I think that D-man just tried to steal that receiver’s cleats after the tackle. CRIME IS RAMPANT IN CHICAGO.

Sill Bimmons

THANKS OBAMA

Lothar of the Hill People

According to Trump, you get shot on your way to the grocery store.

Doktor Zymm

I went to get ice cream the other day, and I pulled all the bullets out of myself and sold them on ebay!

King Hippo

don’t forget, if you’re black, you have no education either.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bunnies R dicks.
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Doktor Zymm

With tiny poops!

Sill Bimmons

Cats and rabbits are pretty closely related but that’s ridiculous.

Lothar of the Hill People
Spur

Peter King is going to be pissed when he finds out what happened to Wichita

Doktor Zymm

No one considers the VICTIMS in Japanese monster battles

Sill Bimmons

Mel Gibson is going to fuck up the pacifist angle in this film somehow.

WCS

The Axis Powers are all Jews.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be kind of entertained if the Bears accidentally derp into beating the Packers, a think which Chicago has obsessed over forEVER, only to have no one notice because Cubs.

King Hippo

awesome! Not-Small Bears tied it up, even. Dreams dying at home at the merciless hands of Clayton Kershaw? OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

Brocky

Right now, I wouldn’t take a bears win for a cubs loss

aceg

I’ll hooked on a feeling!!!

Brocky

Don’t worry, refs will make sure gb will score this upcoming drive.

Spur

Floyd looks like an absolute stud.

King Hippo

Song time!!

Aa-ron Rod-gers fuc-king sucks!

Kungjitsu

That’s to Camptown Races, right. All we’re missing is the do-da do-da at the end.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

BEARS DEFENSEDOWN!

King Hippo

TD!!! Bearistocrats!!!!

Lothar of the Hill People

Oh holy crap. Bearfs did a good?

JustStopDude

Golf course in Virginia. Free drink tickets for three hours. Suppose to be 50 people showing up…23 did. Just got an angry email from sails for hooking up with a woman from Brazil from a cement factory.

Had to pull the George Constanza “was I not suppose to do that” speech.

I have a bad morning in the morning…if that makes sense….

JustStopDude

Sales not sails….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d be more worried about hooking up with woman from cement factory, than typos….but whatever.

JustStopDude

Straight up I was like “HOLY SHIT GIRL….what you doing here beau?!?”

Kungjitsu

Consenting adults.*

*I’m assuming

Duchess

Where in VA?

JustStopDude

The Roanoke….up in the Mountains, near the Tennnessesssessessessseeses border (may have misspelled this while drunk)…

Doktor Zymm

So….there are teams…like the Bears, where people just get injured ALL THE TIME. There, one collision, Packers dude didn’t look great, but Bears dude? Dead. And it’s the same side getting the worst of it every time. This is a training issue, no? I mean, some injuries are inevitable, and every team will have injuries, but the fact that some teams systemically have way more than average, something is going on there, and training is the only factor I can think of that would have significant influence.

trollsoharduniversity

You’re forgetting about God, who hates the Bears.

trollsoharduniversity

Matt Barkley just got the vote of confidence so the Bears will probably sign Jeff George tomorrow.

Gratliff

One last homecoming for Donovan McNabb!

Lothar of the Hill People

They’ll trade for Sanchez so they have 2 shitty USC QBs on the roster.

Gratliff

Holy shit. Brian Hoyer is dead too? Is it almost sex cannon time?

Lothar of the Hill People

Somewhere in the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels, Kyle Orton is warming up for his triumphant return.

Gratliff

On some level, my brain has never been able to process that this was a starting QB for 10 years.
http://www.tremendousupsidepotential.com/img/ortonbottle.jpg

Doktor Zymm

But that’s good old fashioned alcohol, and not a bong! LEADERSHIP MATERIAL

Duchess

Broken arm?…Must have been Cutler’s doing

Doktor Zymm

There are many signs of the Apocalypse this year, but worry not! Until we have three players all break their tailbone in one game we are okay, for the sign of the Beast is Coccyx, Coccyx, Coccyx

Spur

Just realized Twitter got the Cowboys vs Vikings game, nice!

Zeke is going to run all over your kutefisk

Duchess

So I think we all know who is to b;ame for bad football this year

You guessed it Frank Stallone
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No it’s Trump

http://thelab.bleacherreport.com/donald-trump-is-tearing-the-nfl-apart/

Doktor Zymm

Flaming shots of Avalanche? SMGDH.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit…that was uhsposed to be reply to WCS Third Reich.
Achtung, MF’ers.

WCS

BROKEN ASSBONE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Doktor Zymm

That’s called your Coccyx!

Doktor Zymm

I doubt that would have gone better if the ball had been successfully bounced upon

WCS

JAX-TEN next Thursday? Were we all members of the Third Reich? Is that why we get that?

Doktor Zymm

But DeMarco Murray will score all of the fantasy points!

King Hippo

MANDATORY VIEWING. BLEERGH demands it!!

trollsoharduniversity

JAX-TEN is gonna be the most popular baby name this year

Spur

Bear Halftime
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Doktor Zymm

Bear is a fancy lady!

Spanky Datass
Lothar of the Hill People

Is Deion Sanders really paid to babble into his microphone?

He reminds me of the big-brained Boov in “Home”

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Doktor Zymm

I miss having something I could be that excited about. I guess I could be that intense about tennis, but those assholes just look ridiculous. “SO MANY FOOKIN ERRORS!” *flail, flail, flail*

I miss poker, but you can’t be like that with poker, unless you’re like that with every hand, and damn, that would be exhausting.

Bloody Lethal

Hockey. Thank me later.

Spur

Damn, Boise State is still 30 minutes away. I need to slow down my drinking.
Fuck BYU!

Duchess

Today is an ode to Kickers