Your NFC North Not-Showdown Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Can you smell the weekend? What does it smell like? For some that experience that thing called “seasons”, it may have the odour of raking leaves. For you youngsters out there, perhaps the aroma of a failed bar pickup is invading your nostrils. For others, perhaps a trip to Bed, Bath And Beyond is stinking up your soon-to-be  Saturday afternoon. My weekend is beginning to smell like delicious, delicious ‘by myself-ness’. So sweet… TO THE GAME!

Chi/GB-So it’s come to this. The Bears versus the Packers. Your narrative will be all about the history of this matchup because this game isn’t compelling. Despite the Pack missing rb’s Lacy and Starks, cb Shields, te Cook, wr Adams and a sense of purpose, they should pull this out. The 4th-rate backfield of recently-signed Knile Davis and recently-converted wr Ty Montgomery should get things done against a Bears D that gave up the ghost long before All Hallows Eve. With 5 losses at this point, the Bears are staring at a 1-7 mark heading into their bye-bye week because they get Minny next time around. The rarest of all sports-related phrases can now be uttered by the denizens of Chicago-“Well, at least we have the Cubs”.

There you have it-TYPE LIKE THE WONDERFUL RAGAMUFFINS YOU ARE!

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Spur

Penalty saved us from a commercial

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Thank heaven for baseball, this football game sucks even by Thursday night standards.

Fronkenshteen

Bears are angry about Matthews spear.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is that a reference to The Mammoth Hunters?

Lothar of the Hill People

OK, Green Bay. Prepare to be… Barkley’d.

Spur
Lothar of the Hill People

What’s the over/under on cheesemaking montages CBS shows during this game?

Doktor Zymm

How many fish were thrown during the last Seahawks game?

King Hippo

Bears should go FULL HEEL TURN and just fuck a fucker up every goddamned play now. THEY TOOK OUT HOYER COUNTRY!!!

Sill Bimmons

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Doktor Zymm

Fun fact, besides being a type of illegal tackle, the horse collar was also the invention that allowed agricultural productivity to rise to levels high enough to support the increasing population that spurred the Renaissance!

Lothar of the Hill People

Yes, but both horse collars were adopted early by Cowboys.

Duchess

Fun Fact: the Horse Collar also helped feed the myth that Roy Williams was actually a good safety.

Lothar of the Hill People

Wow, that was a shitty penalty, especially given the receiver initiated the contact.

Brocky

Oh fuck off. Seriously. That shit happens every play

King Hippo

It was nice knowin’ ya, fantasy saviour Cameron Meredith…

ALXMAC

So you must have him in multiple LGs, cause I know yer still gonna win against me in DFO2 anyway…btw – how the hell are you 2-4?

King Hippo

My $$ league too. 2-4 because bad at teh fantasy.

Sill Bimmons

I just put in a waiver claim for Barkley.

Maybe next week I’ll have a QB that plays!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Negative points are better than no points!

Fronkenshteen

I need Dak to keep the job thru week 9

Duchess
Fronkenshteen

This should improve Alshon’s mood.

Lothar of the Hill People

C’mon. You can’t destroy the hopes of Bears fans. Hoyer playing is proof that there is no hope in Chicago.

Kungjitsu

…And the Matt Barkley era begins!

Sill Bimmons

Matt Barkley, huh?

/hits waiver wire

Sill Bimmons

Will never, ever get old.

Lothar of the Hill People

Was thinking the exact same thing.

It never stops being funny.

Lothar of the Hill People

Aside from football and the occasional 60 Minutes, I don’t think I’ve watched a CBS tv show in over a decade.

Doktor Zymm

THE HOPES OF THE BEARS FANS HAVE BEEN CRUSHED IN THE FORM OF HOYER’S TINY BONES

Spur

Matthews such a shit bag. Speared him there

Doktor Zymm

So, are the Bears the thinly disguised Browns of the North?

trollsoharduniversity

That’s the first time anything in Chicago was described as “thin”

WCS

Nothing about the Bears can be described as “thinly.”

...

Yes and I told you my theory about how without 1985 they’d be considered equivalents.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Only if we find out that Virginia McCaskey has a secret life as a crime lord known as “Big Momma.”

Lothar of the Hill People

Hoyer got destroyer’d.

And the refs missed the facemask.

Spur

If that was Rodgers getting hit, the flags would’ve been flying.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wouldn’t count on it.

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Sill Bimmons

Who do they have now that Hoyer’s dead?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, fuck, it’s Matt Barkley time

Doktor Zymm

Hoyer : dead

BrettFavresColonoscopy

5 people at the table next to me. Each ordered 1-2 drinks. 5 separate checks.

Sill Bimmons

This sounds like the opening act of a true crime show about “The Server Murders.”

Shogun Marcus

Huh. Gunter doesn’t look very Scandinavian.

King Hippo

oof da!

/smh

Lothar of the Hill People

So Trump’s rally was a short distance from where I teach.

I let my class out early today. One of my students asked why. I said, “I’m gonna take a look at it, but I’ll keep you in suspense.”

It was mainly because traffic was horrific and I didn’t want to get stuck in it.

Fronkenshteen

Sooo…did Jordan Howard lose his job to Ka’deem Carey between quarters?

...

John Fox seems to hate successful players whom he didn’t want to be successful.

Lothar of the Hill People

Tosses never work against a 3-4 defense built on speed.

Especially when your tackles can’t run-block for shit.

Lothar of the Hill People

I swear, Alshon Jeffrey is such a repeat offender at lining up offsides.

That happened to our WR in high school. ONCE. We ran and ran and ran and ran so much, no one EVER lined up offsides again.

Doktor Zymm

He’s got to do something to keep himself entertained, what with being the only decent receiver on the entire team.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There was probably no receiver in NFL history that was better at lining up than Michael Irvin.

Spur

Packers are really missing Jay Cutler in this game

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s not a nice way to talk about Hines Ward.

Sill Bimmons

How can a tech billionaire revolutionize medicine?

By knowing his limitations and staying in his fucking lane.

Duchess

He creates mosquito killing lasers to help curb the spread of malaria?

Sill Bimmons

That would be one way…

herodotus450

Toilets and condoms?

Lothar of the Hill People

Gentlemen.

Would’ve been here sooner, but the wife wanted to have “a talk.”

Yes, “a talk.”

This one was particularly stupid, as she said it was a talk about what she could do to help me out with my teaching schedule, etc. I thought “the talk” was over, and so switched on the game. Then she gets up and says, “well, I guess we’re done talking.”

No shit.

jjfozz

This millenials-have-a-kid commercial for Mazda gives me second thoughts about forced sterilization.

Fronkenshteen

Awright Howard, run for a 102 yard touchdown or somefuckinthing

theeWeeBabySeamus

This just in: DaU and VT might be the ugliest pairing of two 4-2 teams in evar.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/remembers NCSU is also 4-2
//shuts up

Sill Bimmons

The RC: 306 horsepower, 306 tons of Lexus.

Doktor Zymm

Oh, honey, that’s BARELY a bear.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Oh no, I’m a bear?

Doktor Zymm

Let me hear you say ‘rawrrr’

theeWeeBabySeamus

You owe make it snow a royalty.
Just saying.

Brocky

Hell of a play by the bears there

hippofant

Taking a time out to kick a 9-yard FG instead of a 14-yard FG?

hippofant

Oh. Never mind. Took the timeout to fail from the 1. GOT IT.

Spur

GREAT DEFENSE BEARS!!!!!

WCS

Sweet mother of mercy. Fuck you, McCarthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

John Turturro’s early work?

Doktor Zymm

With a moustache like that, he probably has a small enough dick to get anal quite often!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m really not sure whether to like this comment or shun you right now.
smgdh

King Hippo

WR off-tackle, NEIN!!