Your NFC North Not-Showdown Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Can you smell the weekend? What does it smell like? For some that experience that thing called “seasons”, it may have the odour of raking leaves. For you youngsters out there, perhaps the aroma of a failed bar pickup is invading your nostrils. For others, perhaps a trip to Bed, Bath And Beyond is stinking up your soon-to-be  Saturday afternoon. My weekend is beginning to smell like delicious, delicious ‘by myself-ness’. So sweet… TO THE GAME!

Chi/GB-So it’s come to this. The Bears versus the Packers. Your narrative will be all about the history of this matchup because this game isn’t compelling. Despite the Pack missing rb’s Lacy and Starks, cb Shields, te Cook, wr Adams and a sense of purpose, they should pull this out. The 4th-rate backfield of recently-signed Knile Davis and recently-converted wr Ty Montgomery should get things done against a Bears D that gave up the ghost long before All Hallows Eve. With 5 losses at this point, the Bears are staring at a 1-7 mark heading into their bye-bye week because they get Minny next time around. The rarest of all sports-related phrases can now be uttered by the denizens of Chicago-“Well, at least we have the Cubs”.

There you have it-TYPE LIKE THE WONDERFUL RAGAMUFFINS YOU ARE!

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Redshirt

Cubs are winning? Series going back to Chicago with the Cubs up 3-2?

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Senor Weaselo

It’ll be that time…
https://vimeo.com/159063171

Spur

Blood Oaths 3
Potatoes 14

Sill Bimmons

COBBDOWN WOO

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH IS SMITING THE HOLY BEJEEBUS OUT OF BAUSBY

Shogun Marcus

I find myself saying his name in a very old-timey rich accent.

Duchess

Tonight has been the most Baseball I have watched in the last 5 years combined

Redshirt

So what’d I miss?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Aaron rodgers apparently remembered that he was, in fact, Aaron rodgers

Brocky

……….

Brocky

See, refs called one on gb, it’s a fair game!

Spur

Are the Cubs the better team?

Duchess

Yes the Cubs could beat the Bears at football too

Spur

Peter King read that and creamed himself.

King Hippo

Fuck you, sports. You haven’t been much better than real life lately, and that’s a VERY LOW BAR.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Eh, i’m happy with the way they’re going tonight, at least

Duchess

Watching the Cubs game and you can see the goblin from harry potter behind home plate…. no nevermind that’s Larry King

Brocky

Oh for fucks sake stop it with the the fucking fake adversity crap!

We get it! It’s not enough these guys are professional athletes, no, they need to be more endearing!

Lothar of the Hill People

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Lothar of the Hill People

Should’ve drank tonight.

Instead, since my wife has a stupid meeting on Saturday, I think I’ll take the kids and a flask to the zoo and drink there.

Fronkenshteen

Rizzo beats The Cool Carl Karansky Shift with a bunt!

Spur

Why does no one hold WW2 against the Italians like we do against the Germans?

King Hippo

Baked way fewer ppl??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Took care of their own shit…eventually.

Sill Bimmons

Not nearly so involved, didn’t really start anything, shitty at fighting, gave up halfway through, took out their own bad guy, didn’t build death camps, …

Duchess

but they killed Sinatra

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yeah, that death camp thing is kind of key. Even the Japanese had their horror-show experiments going on. The Italians steered clear of that shit, lost early and bowed out with some small amount of grace (by hanging Mussolini).

Brocky

Unrelated: is anyone else hearing an electronic beeping in the background of the bears game?

Fronkenshteen

3 & out please!

King Hippo

I should have started drinking much, much earlier. Like, as soon as the clock struck noon.

/don’t want to be an alcoholic or anything

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME?????

Spur

Ariana Grande is attractive, but that’s a lot of makeup, no?
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Homer-Simpson-Shoots-Marge-With-a-Make-Up-Gun.gif

Sill Bimmons

Well when you leave it set to “Whore” what do you expect?

Mr. Ayo

Yep
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Senor Weaselo

To answer the vultures (tWBS and Dok), Madre Weaselo and I went into the city, walked around, lovely time, so on so forth. On our way back towards the subway home we came across an elderly woman whose cart broke a wheel and she had a whole bunch of bags in it, and her friend who she was traveling with (and we later learned had one of the big bags) had to leave to go to work or whatever. So I ended up going with the woman so that way she could get a new cart while MW stayed with the other woman until she left with the busted cart. Three stores and two hours later we finally found a place that sold them, albeit it was half as big as the busted one. So we loaded up half of her stuff in the new cart and I took the old cart with the other bag as it promptly lost a second wheel and I had to drag it another five blocks uptown.

She was a nice woman and all (her neighbor who ditched her and didn’t take her stuff not as much) but… that was some ordeal.

Brocky

You did good senor.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shoulda shot ’em both in the face and been done with their needy asses.
Hee hee.

Sill Bimmons

Then taken their stuff #Trump2016!

Brocky

You know with the league cracking down on excessive celebrations, how is the Lambeau leap still a thing

Shogun Marcus

Isn’t on the field, the ball stays on the field.

Lothar of the Hill People

Bears footballing.

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Doktor Zymm

That’s a catch, Bears are sedated, tagged, and endangered. GOOD NIGHT FUCKERS AND NON-FUCKERS AND PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE FUCKERS!

Senor Weaselo

Commando is one of my favorite movies of all time. For the one-liners.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teSmRfAtDOU

Senor Weaselo

That’s the real reason I delayed my story, muhahaha! I’ll send you my paper tonight btw, f’reals this time.

trollsoharduniversity

Of course Adams has 2 tds. I dropped him so that I could pick up montgomery.

trollsoharduniversity

Also, because he had a concussion 3 days ago

JustStopDude

I just violently vomited up $90 worth of country club meat into my kitchen sink and the Portuguess bird is wondering w

JustStopDude

why I am on my phone. I am wondering why she is still in my apartment…

Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

And now I have to watch till the end of this drive. DAMN YOU FOOTBALL, CRUEL MISTRESS OR MASTER AS YOU PREFER!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Artist’s rendering of Dok’s attempt to go to bed.
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Doktor Zymm

Someone should tell Aaron Rodgers that pointing is rude. The refs will call what the refs will call.

Doktor Zymm

Football players would probably be excellent at showy swing dance moves. Or pairs skating, if they can skate.

Spur

What about Project Runway? Im asking for a QB friend of mine.

Doktor Zymm

The model bit, sure, but no way they can sew

Lothar of the Hill People

In just about every other game I’ve seen, #73 gets flagged for unnecessary roughness.

Spur

Adams and Rodgers are starting to build chemistry. Olivia Munn better not arrive home unexpected one day.

Doktor Zymm

Okay, that was a good run for a first down. I am a curmudgeon, and I’m going to bed. Also, that catch was funny.

King Hippo

yeah, HOME VIDEOS of the goddamned kicker. Totes a professional, unbiased broadcast. This would make Dick Vitale blush.

Lothar of the Hill People

OK, it’s a cute puff piece. But why the kicker? Could they not get home movies of a real fitballer-person?

Spur

Mountain Meadows Massacre 0
Smurfs 14

Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

oopsie

Brocky

Defense, it’s on you.

Which chicago-based ursine team am I talking about again?

King Hippo

yeah, just safely punt it away so GB can win like The Shield, Pheel and Jeem all want!!

Spur

Packers are the Fighting Irish of the NFL.

Sill Bimmons

Fuck this stupid world for being so asinine that it can make me feel a positive emotion about Bush 1:

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/letter-bush-clinton1.jpg

King Hippo

He’s also voting FOAR HillyBob, which is pretty cool of him.

Doktor Zymm

Bush 1 was never the worst Bush. I have no problem placing him in my head as “dude I disagree with, but still a gentleman”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Oh, Bears…did you really think the refs would let you win a prime-time game against GB?

King Hippo

Boy these refs REALLY are in the tank, huh?

Doktor Zymm

Do all men in football over the age of 70 look basically the same when they’re angry?

Lothar of the Hill People

What the fuck. They never re-set the play clock.

These refs are garbage.

Doktor Zymm

BARKLEY ERA WOOOOOOHAHAHAHhaheheheehhhh

Spanky Datass

The rye that I chose to pair with this salsa and chips is quite complementary.
OH AN HE FANCY!

Spur

Looks like Boise State means business tonight. Running a train on that BYU ass.

King Hippo

that’s gonna leave an awful hard-to-get-out stain in that there magic underwear…

Brocky

I once had a packers fan try to convince me that JerMichael Finley was the second best player on the packers. Soley because he was injured, and he wanted to perpetuate the idea that aaron rodgers is just so good at overcoming adversity

Packers fans are stupid.

/drinks

Duchess

They do buy pieces of paper that give them no benefit what so ever… but then again Bears fans do buy tickets so its a wash on that end.

Duchess

I think it is safe to say that Broccoli is a better QB than Hoyer so far.

Doktor Zymm

Raw broccoli has stuff in it that prevents cancer, Hoyer does not. GAME. SET. MATCH.