Your “All Is Not Well In Wisconsin, Or Anywhere Else For That Matter” Monday Night Football Open Thread

I’m having a hell of a time starting the intro for this game-not because it doesn’t have its merits but because as I type my wife is cooking bacon. Is she making a BLT? Perhaps a chicken club sandwich? My mind is reeling at the possibilities. Umm, there’s only 4 more of these Monday Nighters left, folks.  TO THE GAME!

GB/Phi-At one point the Pack was 4-2 and all the cheese was delicious and life-giving. Four straight losses later and the skies overhead are filled with Crestorcirrus, Lipitorstratus and Zocornimbus clouds. This looks to me like a ‘loser gets nothing’ game because Green Bay is 4-6 and the Eagles are 5-5 and stuck in a division with Dallas (not going to catch them) and the Giants (8-3) and the Redacteds (6-4-1). Major sports sites will tell you “it’s not over!” for the loser, “they could still win out!”. But c’mon, do either of these deeply-flawed teams have the wherewithal/talent to run the table? I’m shaking my head as well. Rb Sproles has a broken rib but is expected to play-how is that even possible? I expect that Smallwood will get the majority of the touches. Struggling rook qb Wentz should take some shots downfield-the last two qb’s to play against Green Bay’s complete mess of a secondary had ratings of +145. Oof!

There you have it-GIMMEE ALL YOU GOT!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
524 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Curse of Marino

“MOTHAFUCkER!”

Senor Weaselo

THIS EAGLES DEFENSE I CALL THEM AVALAR BECAUSE THEY HAD A BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH RIPKO’S RAGE.

/And that is my Spyro the Dragon reference of the night.

Horatio Cornblower

That roughing the passer call was as fraudulent as a Rodgers family Christmas card.

Curse of Marino

+1 Familial Dysfucntion

Shogun Marcus

What? No Rodgers Cox joke?

Horatio Cornblower

Like Aaron Rodgers on a Key West bender I can only take so much.

Spanky Datass

Rodgers takes a throat shot from Cox.

Unsurprised

Cox blows Rodgers’ throat

King Hippo

damn it you dumb fuck, I needed Starks and Cobb off the field

King Hippo

GRITSCREEN!

Curse of Marino

I seen Ciara going in the tent cuz Russ ain’t putting out

JustStopDude

Passengers: The Only Scenario Where You Have A Chance With Jenifer Lawerence

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take it.

Unsurprised

Only if you lack LexisNexis and a willingness to go to prison

Curse of Marino

Starlord and Mystique fuck on a spaceship: The Movie

Unsurprised

“It’ll make a billion dollars!”

*movie exec hoovers a three foot line of coke with a 2″ steel pipe*

King Hippo

we shall now trade FGs, of medium-o-difficult-length!

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

3 is just damned near assault ,, ppl forget that

Curse of Marino

Eagles, Dolphins, Raiders, and Cowboys with playoff aspirations? What year is it?

Shogun Marcus

74?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

72 was enough last time, I suppose it depends on the woman.

Unsurprised

The LAST year

ALXMAC

’83?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think it was 82. Close enough for the hair and coke skinny.

Spur
King Hippo

goddamnit, is Smallwood hurt? I put the sound down b/c my brain was leaking out my earholes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…. he said “smallwood”…..

King Hippo

heh heh

JustStopDude

Aaron Rogers uses a Michael Jackson style sideline oxygen tent.

He also has a pet monkey, doesn’t seem interested in women, and should never be left alone with kids…

Unsurprised

Keep him away from flammab—

Nope. Can’t finish that one.

Horatio Cornblower

“Aaron Rodgers just went into a dark tent with a trainer Jon and”

You know what? That one’s a freebie Aaron. I just can’t.

Spur

Someone please inform Aaron Rodgers to come out of the tent please

ALXMAC

“If this tent is a’rockin’, don’t bother knockin'”

Unsurprised

*chef’s finger kiss*

Perfect

JustStopDude

Whenever I tell people there are no issues between and a lover, coworker, neighbor, etc…it’s usually about five minutes before the cops are called.

Curse of Marino

EACH SCREEN DEADLIER THAN THE LAST

Unsurprised

That’d make an awesome selling point to get people to comment here.

Horatio Cornblower

Awfully nice of these parents to drive their pre-teens through a howling blizzard so they can fuck in an empty movie theater.

WCS

Mercedes: Only rich white children deserve happiness

Unsurprised

Shocking statement coming from nazi war profiteers

LemonJello

Couldn’t they just let the kids fingerblast away in the SUV while the parents bang in the back of the sedan?

Curse of Marino

If your dad hasnt taught you about the popcorn trick, then he’s a shitty parent

Unsurprised

That cuts deep

King Hippo

Huzzah! Hippo fades the evil Cobb/Starks tandem a tad bit longer. 28 point lead still precarious. MOAR Smallwood PLEAZ!!!

Spur
Horatio Cornblower

One of these weeks Davante Adams is going to have a good week when I have him in my line-up.

This is not that week.

Sharkbait

Glad to see I’m not the only one who is in the didnt start Davante Adams camp this evening.

ALXMAC

It’s been almost all year bud. He will be in the top 100 of Sill’s “Insanity League” by the end of this game. The law of averages from last year had to catch up.

King Hippo

welcome to my life with Emmanuel Sanders and Tyreek Hill! I will start one of them next week, surely the wrong one

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ve secretly replaced Davante Adams’ hands with the hands of a competent receiver. Let’s see if anyone notices!

Shogun Marcus

It’s like he heard me!

Spur

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Ha-Ha Clinterception

Unsurprised

I thought we were done with election talk

WhyEaglesWhy

Looks like “throw it to the green guys” wasn’t the best advice for Wentz.

Horatio Cornblower

“HOORAY FOR DIX” hollered Aaron Rodgers, who was not watching the game.

LemonJello

Ha Ha with the Wentzerception!

King Hippo

oopsie doodle

Curse of Marino

DERP!

Spur

Packers should trade clay and get something for him while they can

Unsurprised

Or maybe find a rabbi and turn him into a golem.

King Hippo

Smallwood WOO!!!

/Rodgers swipes left

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Small wood?”

[swipes right]

– Aaron Rodgers

JustStopDude

This is the company that has had five commercials so far on my local broadcast.

http://www.cuzsautobody.com/video.php

It’s like something out of a David Lynch…on a three day mescaline bender…

ALXMAC

The link kinda worked; it went to a website but not a video. I blame Salem.

JustStopDude

Damn….it.

I cannot really describe the commercial even though it’s playing every single commercial break.

Don T

I have never seen an ad for erectile dysfunction meds in ESPN Deportes. #SoloDigo

Don T

I have never seen an ad for erectile dusfinction meds in ESPN Deportes. #SoloDigo

Don T

Ha! Typo. Pendejo.

Spur

I think Rodgers needs to do the only that seems natural to him, he needs to go out there on defense and start stuffing dudes.

LemonJello

Like, stuffing them in his mouth or…???

ALXMAC

I’m not a STATS guy, but Russell Westbrook is on pace for 82 triple-doubles in 84 games this year. That’s crazy!!

Senor Weaselo

He fucked around, and it was a good day.

Spur

Evening.

ALXMAC

OY!!

Doktor Zymm

I think Krieger is my favorite Archer character.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Original Krieger or clone replacement Krieger?

Doktor Zymm

Yes.

...

Obviously. I mean you’re both “doktors.”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is it just me or does Max Kellerman look like a slightly gayer Aaron Rodgers?

Sharkbait

So he’s “So deep in the closet he’s finding christmas presents” level of Aaron Rodgers?

Curse of Marino

Molly Qerim is the only reason to watch First Take

LemonJello

Who regrets their career choice more: Molly Qerim/First Take or Joy Taylor/Undisputed?

...

They probably have their own support group.

Curse of Marino

I’m so glad they trotted out SAS and not Skip Bayless for a late night screaming contest.

Horatio Cornblower

‘Welcome back to the First Take Half-Time Show…”
/immediately changes channel without looking
//winds up with gay-midget Schiesse porn’

“eh, still better”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um, what channel did you flip to? Asking for a friend.

Horatio Cornblower

6969 apparently, but I have a really weird satellite.

Curse of Marino

How the hell hasnt Berman’s heart given out yet? His coronaries have to be massively clogged at this point?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Same reason that Dick Cheney is still alive, I would think.

Unsurprised

God hates us?

LemonJello

So, pure fucking evil, then?

WhyEaglesWhy

The only thing keeping him fit enough to survive is singing into the mirror along with Huey Lewis & The News.