Your “All Is Not Well In Wisconsin, Or Anywhere Else For That Matter” Monday Night Football Open Thread

I’m having a hell of a time starting the intro for this game-not because it doesn’t have its merits but because as I type my wife is cooking bacon. Is she making a BLT? Perhaps a chicken club sandwich? My mind is reeling at the possibilities. Umm, there’s only 4 more of these Monday Nighters left, folks.  TO THE GAME!

GB/Phi-At one point the Pack was 4-2 and all the cheese was delicious and life-giving. Four straight losses later and the skies overhead are filled with Crestorcirrus, Lipitorstratus and Zocornimbus clouds. This looks to me like a ‘loser gets nothing’ game because Green Bay is 4-6 and the Eagles are 5-5 and stuck in a division with Dallas (not going to catch them) and the Giants (8-3) and the Redacteds (6-4-1). Major sports sites will tell you “it’s not over!” for the loser, “they could still win out!”. But c’mon, do either of these deeply-flawed teams have the wherewithal/talent to run the table? I’m shaking my head as well. Rb Sproles has a broken rib but is expected to play-how is that even possible? I expect that Smallwood will get the majority of the touches. Struggling rook qb Wentz should take some shots downfield-the last two qb’s to play against Green Bay’s complete mess of a secondary had ratings of +145. Oof!

There you have it-GIMMEE ALL YOU GOT!

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Curse of Marino

Why is there so fucking sand on that field?

Brocky

BECAUSE THE FANS KEEP GRAZING AT HALFTIME! AYOY!

Shogun Marcus

Keeps the batteries from cracking open when they land.

Don T

Is that commercial about the NFC Champ that Brees lost to the Sexy Rexy Bears? Saints should’ve won, defeated the Colts in the Superb Owl. For the forst time.

...

With better play calling, the Bears would have won.

/not bitter

Brocky

that and if perennial all-pro defensive tackle tommie harris wasn’t sidelined by a chopblock.

//still not bitter

///fuck the colts fans rooting for the cubs and blackhawks

Brocky

sup goatlickers.

what has two thumbs and got a package that looks like this in the mail today:

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LemonJello

THAT is a big-ass Toblerone!

ALXMAC

OY!!

Shogun Marcus

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Me too!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I saw some Boyz 2 Men posted earlier, this cover somehow never showed up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTqL14T7I8M

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“You know what guys, we can sing at the the bar like we always do”

“But drink, because I wanna drink”

Curse of Marino

I’ve seen that commercial 50 times and I still cant figure out whose’s house that supposed to be. Or whose car Rodgers just fucked up.

Spur

He and Clay co-habit.

...

If you look very closely, there’s a note on the bottom of the screen that says the fire is fictionalized just in case someone thought Aaron Rodgers’ actual house was burned down for an insurance commercial.

Shogun Marcus

Hobart don’t look like that. Must be his California home.

ALXMAC

Andre Rison? Bad Moon Rising? RIP, Chris Berman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6iRNVwslM4

Spur
Spur
jjfozz

Gotta hit the hay. If the client cancels tomorrow’s meeting, I will gut them like a wild boar.

Unsurprised

*Sneaks out to cut the power to jffozz’s town*

Brocky

is your client by chance the ruler of the seven kingdoms?

Asking for a friend*

that friend is Ned Stark

Spur

Double post? i thought we had guards against this?

Unsurprised

It’s a glitch in the Matrix

Unsurprised

I love how the narrator sounds like a wiseguy version of Richard Dreyfuss

Shogun Marcus

Refs trynna hit quota all of the sudden?

jjfozz

It’s November 28. My house is decorated for Xmas. My wife has finally snapped.

And she MOVED THE FUCKING BOURBON BOTTLES because they were “in the way” of her “decorations.”

So I said, “You know, I could remove your head because it’s in the way of the rest of my life, but I won’t.”

Unsurprised

You can move in, but I insist on still charging you rent.

Unsurprised

It’ll be fun. We’ll make our own version of “Shut Up, Little Man”

Curse of Marino

Whoever keeps whistling needs to fucking cut it out. Your dog isnt in the stands dipshit.

Unsurprised

Dogwhistles? But the election’s over

jjfozz

How in fuck did the word “muff” come to be associated with “punt”?

Wait, replace that p with a c and you have the answer.

Curse of Marino

“Muff? Ewwwwwwwwwww” – A.Aron

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

It’s on the YOU, but thank you DFO for censoring that for me.

ALXMAC

AND I had to log in again. It’s ironic that I apparently got booted for posting a youtube video with titties, but it’s the censored version of the song.

Spur
ALXMAC

Who dat?

Curse of Marino

I’ll be disappointed if Eagles fans dont start chucking batteries

...

So I was just browsing Amazon and saw a pair of underwear that has dedicated pouches for the cock and balls. I ordered a pair because why not?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Balls Of Steel would have reviewed them for you if you’d asked.

...

But my balls are mere flesh.

Unsurprised

Guys. Crimetown is an awesome podcast about mafioso.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/crimetown/id1170959623?mt=2

jjfozz

Packer’s Bench: “The last time we saw this many batteries laying around, a Radio Shack had exploded.”

Unsurprised

I can’t look at Felicity Jones without seeing one of the wives from The Unit, and it’s really annoying.

Unsurprised

Ah. Audrey Marie Anderson.
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Senor Weaselo

What are the odds that Assassin’s Creed is any good? 0%? -100%?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Any story where they try to make an assassin into one of the good guys is guaranteed to be bad.

Unsurprised

You’re dead to me.

Unsurprised

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN JOHN WICK!?

Curse of Marino

Its 50-50 IMO.

Shogun Marcus

Pollockdown!
/closes screen door on his solar power submarine

Unsurprised

The blizt gets ’em every time

Shogun Marcus

Shush! Now come turn this ladder, I’m changing this light bulb.

Unsurprised

I’m a liberal. The world revolves around me.

Spur
Curse of Marino

So Michael Fassbender is gonna help random people out to upgrade his shit right?

jjfozz

That ass shot is known as “presenting” in the animal kingdom.

King Hippo

ok, who’s gonna clean up all that jism all over thos WI teevee screens??

Senor Weaselo

KUUUUUUU… wait a minute

Spur

Not enough slow mo Rodgers butt shots

Curse of Marino

“And now we take you to a close up of Aaron Rodgers’ ass.”

Spur

Butt fuck it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The extended ass shot is Rodgers contract to attract potential partners

jjfozz

Just finished American Horror Story: Coven. Ye gods.

Nice to see the Eagles losing, since the fucking cunt that fucked over my cousin is a Philly fan. So, you know, fuck her and the Eagles.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s only four degrees.

Shogun Marcus

I’ve heard coven is by far the weakest of the batch. I’ve watched hotel and this last one.

jjfozz

Not as good as what I’ve seen so far: Horror House and Asylum, the opening shot for hte last episode was fucking money

Curse of Marino

“Ugh its gonna be that kind if night” – Olivia Munn, as she accepts that its going to be yet another night where she uses the strap on.

...

She seems… cold.

Unsurprised

She needs a hug

Unsurprised

She is halfway to the proper way to stave off hypothermia.

Unsurprised

Yeah. There’s a reason all the good gifs are from twenty years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How many times you need to say that? No one cares.

WCS

The rookie head coach of a team that’s never won a Super Bowl does something idiotic, and everyone is surprised? ONLY IN NEW YORK, KIDS

ALXMAC
Col. Duke LaCross

Starks may be one of the least elusive RBs in the league.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’ll never be a Lawrence Phillips ……

King Hippo

yet they give him the ball like 2 plays out of every 3, minimum

Shogun Marcus

Yes because even though Montgomery shows more skill, he doesn’t have rb after his name.

ALXMAC

STARS EN GOALLLL!!!

Spur
Horatio Cornblower

Someone posted a picture of a woman who might be Lake Bell soooooooo….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I do lub me some Lake….. Bell.

Don T

“Those two yards are crucial”.
-Some Eagle idiot to a headset

King Hippo

why the fuck would you challenge that for 2 lousy yards?

Shogun Marcus

Pederson was coached by Reid in the past. Ppl forget that.

Unsurprised

This is way sexier than the Felicity Jones gifs

Spur

How is Rodgers still walking after that vicious attack?

Unsurprised

He’s a pro at blow jobs