EPL Only Saturday – Embracing the Void

As a reminder, here are The Dead Milkmen…

On the pitch, we get things started by ruining my weekend straight away, and right early too, with Watford hosting Everton at 7:30 EST (NBCSN). The 11th position Hornets would actually vault over the 8th position Toffees with their inevitable win, as only 2 points separate the sides in the table. Everton will be without their most consistently effective (and certainly most energetic) attacking player, Yannick Bolasie. Mourinho’s shithouses never got a red card last weekend, but they did fuck Yala’s knee to bits, and he’s out at least a full year. At his age, he may never be the same again. Fucking cunts.

Arsenal/Stoke seems the best option in the 10:00 window, and indeed it gets the NBCSN treatment. Swans and Sunderland are on CNBC, in case you really enjoy human misery. And fucking admit it, you know you do. yeah right’s heroic Cherries look to avoid their Shite-slaying hangover against Burnley on Extra Time, in their first match ever in the top flight of English competition. WEIRD!

In another, happier time, defending champion Leicester hosting blue blood Man City (12:30, NBC) seemed like a really cool fixture to feature. Now, it’s just another mid-table side looking to take down a Champions League qualifier. There’s a story to tell, but no greatness any longer. Sigh.

You want greatness? Wake up early on Sunday (vs. West Brom, 7:00, NBCSN) to see the runaway title contenders, as in the wake of their win at the Etihad last weekend…even I am not doubting Antonio Conte’s Chelsea side any longer. They fucking good, y’all. Them poor little Albion ain’t even at home. Tweet?

Sunday’s good match is the Lucky Pierre of NBCSN’s troika, 6th position Man United vs. 5th position Spurs. I believe the gulf in quality is a great deal wider than one place in the standings would indicate, and that Tottenham will show as much, even at Old Trafford. Karma’s a bitch, Mourinho.

Soton and Middlesbrough play on Extra Time (9:15), and the Shite close things up on NBCSN against the Hammers (11:30). I gots nothing to say about either match. So sue me. Fuck you, 2016.

And no, I am not previewing the military industrial complex’s salute to jingoism. It is not worthy of the bravery of America’s servicemen and servicewomen, much like the American electorate. Try funding lifelong healthcare – including actually truly addressing mental health issues, instead of empty platitudes like your meaningless “thank yous.” And maybe fewer senseless wars, fought with no actual planning? Just a few thoughts.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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JustStopDude

Since I am watching this movie…

Folks…if you have ever wondered why poor people will grasp at school vouchers in the hope of getting their kids out of a shitty school system…I had a 9th grade teacher in the Baltimore City School System that showed “Its a Wonderful Life” non-stop for the month of November and December instead of actually holding class.

I had her again in the 12th grade and she did the same thing.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Are there really no sports on tonight at all?

Bloody Lethal

There’s the NBA…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yeah. Not watching that til the playoffs. Even then it’s a maybe.

litre_cola

Just TFC v Sounders. Ice football too.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ice football has Ice Tommys/Ice Timmys and Ice Crablegs/Garbage team from Pitt, nothing else. I already went Netflix

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The same week they take all the TV shows off the air for a month plus, they don’t even bother to fill the weekend with sports I don’t really care about but can watch. At least I might have got myself pretty drunk already.

Bloody Lethal

There’s video games…

Bloody Lethal
Doktor Zymm

It’s snowing pretty hard now. It’s a shame “Let it snow” has all those rapey bits, it would be a nice song otherwise.

Doktor Zymm

Oh wait, I’m thinking of “Baby it’s cold outside” Nevermind, LET IT SNOW!

Bloody Lethal

I don’t think Dean Martin ever had to R anyone.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think most of Dean Martin’s life would be consider rapey by todays standards, at the very least rape adjacent.

Bloody Lethal
litre_cola

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyaK3jo4Sl4

This is the best Dead Milkmen song.

litre_cola

How do I post a link with it embedded?

Bloody Lethal

I think if you put text it will cancel out the embed.

Bloody Lethal
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am both excited my little sister is eloping-ish later this week but it is also really depressing that she is gonna be married and in a much better position professionally (in that she has one) than me while being 7 years younger. Also she didn’t move back home.

Doktor Zymm

Wish her the best, then sponge off her mercilessly 🙂

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I told her that was the plan when she was finishing in 4 years her 2 degrees in Biochem and Chemical Engineering while still managing a semester off for an internship my future plan was to live in her guest house. She was ok with it.

JustStopDude

Getting drunk and discovered “Its a Wonderful Life” is on the telli.

That was the good old days. Films were black and white. Men were men, women were women, and the blacks and Jews didn’t exist!

This comment brought to you by Trump 2016.

JustStopDude

“MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FRONT DOOR! MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU DRAFTY HOUSE! MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU LOOSE STAIR HANDLE! MERRY CHRISTMAS…frigid wife that…I haven’t…satisfied in years….”

“Clarence! I CHANGED MY MIND! I WANT TO DIE!!!”

Doktor Zymm

“Every time a bell rings, a woman or minority gets some beatings!”

Doktor Zymm

Huh, I wonder if this glass is worth more than a case of the wine I’m drinking out of it? It’s entirely possible. Teehee, snow.

litre_cola

Wine? Answer is always yes.

Doktor Zymm

Besides luging, if it is stupid cold this year like it was 3 years back, other thing I should do, Michigan ice caves. You can only go when the lake freezes solid enough to hike across. The waves splash the rocks and make crazy ice formations, and eventually the approach freezes and you can walk into em.

Doktor Zymm

Ok, I lied, there is one other good thing about winter, and that is putting on clothes that you draped over a radiator first. Cozy!

scotchnaut

Don Cherry supporters would vote for Trump 99 times out of 100.

litre_cola

Is this where we are convening tonight? Anyone watching the futbol finale?

Doktor Zymm

Super sad thing about Chicago. There are basically no hills here. We’re on the wrong side of the lake for lake effect snow (hahahahaha Watertown, sucks to be you!) but there’s still a decent amount of the stuff, but poor childrens who live here can’t sled. The closest they can get are these tiny artificial hills they have near Soldier, but they suck, my backyard hill growing up was better and it wasn’t exactly steep. If it’s gonna be stupid cold this winter (and it looks like it will) I should drive out to Michigan and go luging again. That’s like sledding on 3 types of crack, though you do have to carry the damn steel sled up three flights of stairs to the start. But you get up to 30 mph on straight ice. Fuck winter, but if I have to do this shit I’m gonna enjoy the good bits.

Unsurprised

Come out to the coast. We’ll get together. Have a few laughs.

Doktor Zymm

I enjoy laughs. I technically live on a coast, but the coast of Lake Michigan is about as in-fucking-adequate as coasts get.

Bloody Lethal

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Doktor Zymm

Snow : The one redeeming thing about winter. It’s pretty! And it’s warmer when it snows! And it’s happy making! And it makes the bar and also my home much cozier! And SNOOOOOWWW! I want a proper blizzard where they close work and no one can go anywhere and it makes the national news and SNOOOOOW!

Bloody Lethal

Huge fan of snow. Love how quiet it makes everything. When you get a big snowfall and can wander through the streets and build forts and get drunk by a fire. Nothing better.

Doktor Zymm

I miss drunk sledding. It was the joys of childhood made better with booze. And you can’t beat a decent winter bon/barrel fire. It also makes everything look clean for a few hours, till all the snow goes black and crusty.

Unsurprised

You all are fucking nuts

Doktor Zymm

Don’t be silly, it’s not practical to fuck nuts.

JustStopDude

I’m drinking beer…before i head out to the bars, watching “Adam ruins everything” and they are talking about CTE and football.

I think…I think…I may stop watching football.

Unsurprised

Welcome to the club. We are awful.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So excited to get on a southwest flight right meow. I forgot to check in exactly 24 hours ahead of time, so I’m pretty confident I’ll have to check my bag. Blah.

Unsurprised

Gate check. Still pretty convenient without having to fight dickheads for overhead bin space.

JustStopDude

Its only because I refuse to travel unless its for work, but I always check my luggage.

I fucking cannot stand that people will try to shove everything into carry on. Of course it doesn’t help that the fucking airlines in the US suck balls and coordinate to keep charging people baggage fees…which if you recall, were instituted because of high gas prices.

Dear god travel in the US is fucking 3rd world….

Unsurprised

But Hyper-capitalism Is Your Friend

Unsurprised

http://fusion.net/story/374764/insys-executives-arrested-fentanyl/
“Six pharmaceutical executives who worked for fentanyl company Insys Therapeutics, including a former CEO, were arrested on Thursday and charged with leading a nationwide conspiracy to defraud insurance companies and bribe doctors to prescribe their powerful and addictive opioid painkiller, according to an indictment from the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the District of Massachusetts.”

This is good.

JustStopDude

Holy shit good!

I haven’t touched heroin since ’99 but I still have friends in the game and I kind of…well…I follow /r/opiates to remind myself why I stay clean. Fucking Fent is everywhere. I mean folks are dropping like flies because dope is being cut with that shit.

Unsurprised

Rocky II isn’t nearly as good as Rocky.

JustStopDude

Check my facebook…because I am a fucking idiot.

I only really use it to get an idea of what everyone’s mood is prior to me showing up for the holidays. Also to kind of make contact with multiple people at once so I am not getting spammed on my phone.

My younger brother posted some Adam Corolla rant on my facebook feed thing which was a 10 minute rant about millennials. Its hilarious to hear a rant about entitlement and people not earning their way in life from someone like Corolla.

And of course my younger brother comments “Finally someone tells the truth about fucking millennials”.

My brother was born in ’86.

My brother is an idiot.

Unsurprised

Sounds like my brother.

JustStopDude

Corolla just pisses me the fuck off because his whole shtick consists of bitching about people thinking emotionally or having feelings over logic…and then he proceeds to spew out a bunch of retarded feelings about shit and claim its fact.

Unsurprised

I agree completely.

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s just disappointing. Loveline Carolla and his 2006 Morning show was some of the funniest shit ever. But the comedy factory has turned into a comedy warehouse. I’ll only ever download the pod if he’s got somebody from the old days like Dameshek or David Allen Grier. Sadly, he’s had that Milo dipshit on there more times in the last three years than those other two combined.

I really should just cut bait on the guy.

scotchnaut

Grayson Allen’s putback dunk was impressive.

scotchnaut

/watching Barry Sanders: A Football Life

Barry Sanders’ father is/was a goddamn sociopath. How Barry came out of that environment with his sanity intact is a near miracle.

theeWeeBabySeamus

DUKE/UNLV game….literally across the street from our hotel from last weekend.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I went out earlier and saw a busker playing the accordion.

God Bless Portland

JustStopDude

GOD DAMN IT VERN….Don’t make me cry….

Unsurprised

the CIA protesting a right wing president being installed by a foreign power might be the funniest thing that has ever happened— Neon Trotsky (@neontrotsky) December 10, 2016

scotchnaut

“Haven’t you heard? Down is the new up!”

-Reality

Unsurprised

I didn’t know there were dogs with Aspberger’s

WCS

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Spanky Datass

Seeing Judy Greer ad-whore on twitter for hilton/visa is giving me strange feelings … IN MY PANTS! WOOOO LOVE YA JUDY!
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WCS

Unsurprised

““We have a history of remarkable servants in the Oval Office and in the Situation Room under Republican presidents,” Mudd told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer on “The Situation Room.””

HAHAHAHAHAHA

JustStopDude

So can we stop putting service academies in the top 25?

scotchnaut

If they could stop playing football altogether, that would be great.

Unsurprised

They are? The last time I know of is when Jim Thorpe beat Army

JustStopDude

Navy was ranked 25th at the start of this game.

Unsurprised

What the FUCK

scotchnaut

INCOMING HOT TAKETTY-TAKE-

Of all the rb’s that I’ve seen play, I’d take Earl Campbell in his rookie year as the very best regardless of quality of o-line, overall team strength, schedule or any other extraneous factor. He followed his blocks when they were effective, cut back/blazed his own path when they weren’t, ran over lb’s and was never caught from behind by cb’s.

[wipes hands on pyjama bottom]

laserguru

You know when you’ve got a flight layover, or maybe waiting in a long line for something?
You’re brain isn’t officially shut down but it’s not fully engaged either.

Yeah. Ballet.

laserguru

We did get a full on ass plant though.

It was an adult instructor too.
It’s not funny when a student falls but this was pretty fucking hilarious.

JustStopDude

THIS ARMY-NAVY GAME I CALL IT IRAQ WAR QUAGMIRE….CAUSE ARMY IS ON THE GROUND BUT JUST CAN’T CLOSE OUT THE JOB!

JustStopDude

Streaker at the Army-Navy game…

Doesn’t he know he is surrounded by seamen?

Unsurprised

Could be his motivation.

WCS

YOU GET A TURNOVER AND YOU GET A TURNOVER AND YOU GET A TURNOVER

laserguru

And for my sins…
The fucking Nutcracker.
7 years in a row.

Granddaughter 2 is in it this year along with granddaughter 1.
Granddaughter 2 was the inspiration for Mr. Winkles and this is the first year she’s not sitting with me in the audience.

Thank Christ.

This ballet needs a goddamn reboot.

WCS

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JustStopDude

You know if President Obama showed up in the announcing both, half the country would lose their collective shit.

WCS

DURRRR HES WASSTING MORE TAXPAYER MONEY HE HATES MURKICA

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Did you see Trump is staying on as a producer of Celebrity Apprentice while being president and there seems to be no backlash from those same people?

Croooow

They would also say: “Durr, President needs to be more worried about the economy/our security than sports!!!11one”.

Croooow

Trust me, I had family members say that to me after they saw Obama committing the heinous crime filling out a tournament bracket.

Of course, they were always the first to chirp on Facebook after one of his Final Four picks lost.

Unsurprised

Fuck ’em. Nobody put a gun to the mayor’s or commissioner’s head and said they have to do a motherfucking thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So my sister is eloping-ish, she is doing a courthouse wedding on less than a weeks notice on the day of my final in Chicago.

JustStopDude

I got a sister like that. She didn’t talk to me for a year because I didn’t show up for her wedding.

For some reason, she thought Operation Iraqi Freedom was supposed to be placed on hold for her wedding.

I still get no credit from her for being there for the divorce 2 years later…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My shit isn’t important so I will drop it if need be and I am currently trying to reschedule the test and my sister wouldn’t hold a grudge either way. My dad is SUPER pissed about it and also back on a lot of steroids for his breathing problems.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

They both work as biochemical engineers out of Chicago where they worked for a few years, now they are contracted out to companies to run projects that last from a week to months. They are just doing it now because he is being sent off for 4 months to Saudi Arabia. They will do a real ceremony when things settle down.

JustStopDude

The other thing, they may or may not have considered this, if they aren’t married, she basically can’t easily visit and stay with him in SA.

Fuck I hated working there. I have to head back to the middle east in a few weeks and I am fucking dreading it.

Fronkenshteen

Bench Doug Baldwin at GB tomorrow? Bench LaFell at the Factory? Drop LaFell for Burkhead? Ignore the snow entirely? Who will Belichick pick on the Balt offense as the player to shut down? Would it be Smiff? Nooo….right?
HELP!!!

Col. Duke LaCross

UW-Oshkosh wins in a thriller! Or did they? I think only two people watched it.

/The ladyfriend got her undergrad and grew up there
//Really not looking forward to traveling to that frozen hellscape to meet her folks next month

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

ExxonMobile CEO Rex Tillerson (seriously, what a perfect oilman name) to be named Sec. of State. #DRAINTHESWAMP

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SERENTITY NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

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Fronkenshteen

Wow! Guess we’re gonna be doing some fucking drilling, huh?
Where is the outrage from Trump voters? Did they want this nightmare cabinet?
I UNDERSTAND NOTHIIIIING!!

Fronkenshteen

I think you might be my best friend.