Your “I Guess You Could Call Jets/Niners a Game” Late Afternoon Slate of Tilts Open Thread

I could use another snow game. I like them quite a bit. Hopefully it’s coming down fiercely in the Bay of Green. TO THE GAMES!

NYJ/SF– 3-9 vs. 1-11. The only reason they’re playing this is because Hippo has a player from one of these teams on his bench. Kidding! With his luck he probably started the guy.

NO/TB– Not so very long ago Tampa was doing their very best “Andrea Yates’ children” impression because they were dead in the water. Four games and 13 points (average) given up later and it turns out they’re actually born-again. (the Bucs, not the kids) The old saw states that, “D wins championships” and I started yapping last year that the Bucs have a great deal of talent on that side of the ball. Their run game is completely abysmal so they’re not doing anything of note this year but sneaking into the playoffs would do them some good. The Saints at 5-7 “control their own fate” in the same way that a 90 yr. old man controls his bladder.

Atl/LA– The Rams are last in the league with 284 yards per game. You know what that gets you? That’s right-a contract extension. 29th in passing yards? Contract extension. 30th in yards rushed? Contract extension. Last in the league in points scored at 15 per game? (the Browns average 16.4 for Kessler’s sake!) You guessed it-contract extension. It looks as though wr Julio is a game-timer so you’re screwed if he sits this one out.

Sea/GB– All three losses for the ‘Hawks have been on the road which suits Aaron Rodgers’ semi-prediction that the Pack will ‘run the table’ just fine. This looks like a great match-up in and of itself. It also looks like a game that will not clarify the playoff picture one little bit no matter the outcome.

Done. GIVE ME YOUR BEST!

 

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King HippoMoose -The End Is Well NighUnsurprisedPetronellaserguru Recent comment authors
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King Hippo

What is a catch, DEZ? Is your mom still a whore??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Pictured: Not me

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Damn it. I WANTED THE JETS AND NINERS TO TIE.

Petronel

Sorry – defeat, jaws of victory, etc. The usual…

King Hippo

Lack of Baldwin garbage time is pleasing. Shepard has an average game, I can relax and not worry about a barrage of fucking Belicheat designed 1-yard Blount TDs killing me.

King Hippo

I honestly dunno if I’ve ever been as surprised as I am at the Jest getting their collective shit together and winning this fixture. I don’t care if the opponent was Chip Kelly’s 49ers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Niners….you’re are the nineriest of all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Senor Weaselo

Hooray we fucked up the draft pick!

Sharkbait

Jets gon’ Jets

Spur
Spur

Eat a dick drew brees

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“I volunteer as tribute!”—Aaron Rodgers

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

And thus my dream of a tie 49ers-Jets game comes to a close.

Senor Weaselo

Sorry the Jets suck at sucking.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m wearing my brand new Beast Mode sweatshirt for this game. The least the Seahawks could do is try to be…oh, I dunno…competent???

theeWeeBabySeamus
Shogun Marcus

I’m as confused as you.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Well, this is the first game this season that they’ve had to play in cold weather, and that can really make throwing and receiving difficult.

Senor Weaselo

Who had Robby Anderson as the Jets’ leading receiver today?

laserguru

Robby Anderson.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I doubt that

Shogun Marcus

Goddamnit BlueBunny. If it weren’t for Charmception 5 Assignment Miami Beach and Janis, you would’ve fucking scuttled it within swimming distance.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Who or what is bluebunny?

Shogun Marcus
laserguru

That’s shogun Marcus name for Mike McCarthy.
Has a great origin story too.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Great job with these all day. ALL THE ASS SLAPS FOR YOU!

laserguru

Youngest right is up from San Diego to see the last performance of the Nutcracker and she may be bringing the grand baby by.
That would be both daughters and all 3 granddaughters on the same weekend.

I’m a happy granddaddy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lucky bastard.

laserguru

I am at that my good friend, I am at that.
Still gonna have some drinks.
The daughters would be disappointed if I didn’t.

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Welp.

Time for some chicken and dumplings.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I’m coming over and stealing food and weed from you. How far do I have to drive?

Horatio Cornblower

Like there’s ever a bad time for that.

Horatio Cornblower

‘We are dealing with a lot of stuff here”

We’re fucking off and watching football jackass; let’s not make this something it’s not.

Shogun Marcus

Ok BlueBunny, ship isn’t in port yet…

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

“No one comes into this house without paying the price”

And the price is that you have to stick it in A.A Ron’s asshole.

laserguru

Those were some gatdamn tasty enchiladas and the best part is the entire meal cost about 4 bucks.

Win win!

Now let’s have some damn drinks!

Horatio Cornblower

I guess a ball getting away from Jameis Winston is better than Jameis Winston getting away with assaulting someone with his balls.

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

I want the 49ers and Jets to tie.

Horatio Cornblower

I want them to be relegated to the Pac-10

Senor Weaselo

Petty’s saying fuck it, going deep.

Sharkbait

Evening folks.

litre_cola

Gday sharky. How ya goin?

Sharkbait

Forsaking the late derp-fest for Ice Giants

Senor Weaselo

I would pick Raanta up in fantasy but I guarantee that’s when Raanta God Mode would end.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nawt a catch…..sorry not sorry Jets.

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

Gross Closeup of Tannehill’s Knee:

https://twitter.com/JasonLieser/status/808085428855275521

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sorry about that. Join us Bears fans in drinking a lot and rooting against other people.

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

I fully expect “COULD JAY CUTLER JOIN THE DOLPHINS NEXT SEASON?” Takes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You will get Romo after losing a bidding war for Cutler

Shogun Marcus

AND YOU WILL (PROBABLY NOT) LIKE IT.

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

The sad thing is thats a total Miami thing to do.

Senor Weaselo

Tie game, the Niners have late herped the Jets’ early derp.

Curse of Marino
Curse of Marino

SHANK’HOR I BESSECH THEE

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Aikman, fuck off. Rodgers going out of this game does not, in any way, signify a time for the Seahawks to suddenly get their shit together and score 4 touchdowns in 10 minutes.