Your “First Tannehill, Now Brady?” Monday Night Football Open Thread

God damn, there was some quality commenting done on this here blog this past weekend! It was so good that I decided to take today off. Or maybe the quality of the commenting had nothing to do with it. Either way, I was able to catch up on the history of the central bankers of the U.S. , Britain, France and Germany and how their gorsh-darn shenanigans helped to plunge the world into The Great Depression. I read this stuff so that if I were to talk to someone in a social setting during the up-coming holiday festivities I’ll be able to bore the shit out of them and they’ll think twice about engaging me in conversation for years to come. TO THE GAME!

Bal/NE– Master Brady has a fine won/loss record vs. the Ravens but his stat line is wanting. His 10/10 TD/Int is Elisha-esque at best. As always, in order for the Ravens to pull this off they must put together a monster defensive game. They may be able to do that-by most metrics and some Imperial Standards they have the mightiest D in the land. There’s some squawk out there that says rb Dixon is ready to bust out and that would suit all Ravens backers just fine. To no one’s surprise, wr Amendola has got a case of the ouchies and won’t be playing.

Can we possibly top yesterday? I SAY YES! DO IT!

 

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Spur

Yes Brady, release that anger.

JustStopDude

THEY ARE CALLING PENALTIES ON BRADY NOW?!?!

The rules committee better fix this shit in the off season!!!

...

He sure was angry about it.

Great competitive fire, he has.

Spur

Doesn’t Hochuli know he’s not allowed to flag Brady?

King Hippo

sharply worded memo? OH, IT COMIN

entropy

Just walked in the door, saw the score, and am still sad to see Brady upright.

Evening, folks. What’s the rumpus?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Julian Edelman, second greatest Jewish returner behind Moses.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Buckets o’fun, already.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Please let this game end 2-0

King Hippo

2-2. Fucking infidel.

King Hippo

Is it wrong to want Matthew Slater to die via suicide bomber? Because it feels REALLY right.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Please be final score!

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Horatio Cornblower

THIS RAVENS OFFENSE I CALL THEM MY COLON BECAUSE THEY WERE BACKED UP AND NOTHING GOOD CAME OF IT!!!

JustStopDude

Game over…verily…

Petronel

Safety dance time!

herodotus450

Well, I’m not going to dance, but you can dance if you want to.

Petronel

Once I figure out the image / video linking thing, it will happen. Oh, it will.

Spur
...

Most obvious safety ever.

King Hippo

This is just your reminder that, although Shitsmas will be part of 2016, and thusly SHIT…you do gets TWO real live NFL fixtures. Good’uns, even.

herodotus450

“Two men who are professional, finishers.”
-Jon Gruden

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bridget Moynihan knows that too well.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually I thought ‘son of a whore’ was an insult, but Jeff Ireland used it as a scouting identifier.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Dez Bryant’s going to end up on the $10 bill?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just got my first “refs are cheating” text from a Bostonian friend

LemonJello

That seems late…poor cell reception?

JustStopDude

How was that not an ejection on Suggs…

Brady was brought to the ground. I thought we made that illegal!

Spur

Light him up like a Christmas tree!

Spur

If anyone else saw that Toyota commercial.
It would suck if she was sitting on the other side of the plane and missed that message.

JustStopDude

Even though I live in another state, I still participate with my university, specifically the engineering department. Basically they ask graduates to go onto this online message board that the school maintains, to answer questions students in the program may have.

A lot of it is “what do you do for a living?” “How do I land a job?” “OH MY GOD I GRADUATE IN A WEEK AND I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT AN ENGINEER DOES?!?!”

I don’t mind doing it but I swear to god that it never fails, I get some fucking wanker of a kid, usually a freshman, that nitpicks something that I said, and tries to start a pissing match with me.

This all started because I posted a link to a job I did.
https://imgur.com/a/nDQb3

And in the course of explaining the application, the kid keeps trying to correct me for some reason because he has no fucking clue what he is talking about. Its bizarre because apparently I am a “faggot” now and I have to come out to my friends and family.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Trust me, you have to swap a little more than a motor to be a fag!

JustStopDude

Buddy…I did six years in the navy.

I know EXACTLY what it takes to be an effective power bottom.

...

I’ve encountered a few people that are really odd about getting “help.” They want to hear something very specific from you independent of whether it makes sense or not and you’re clearly just an idiot if you don’t affirm whatever they’ve concluded is the solution to the problem they’re asking you to fix.

LemonJello

High school freshman?

JustStopDude

College freshman I think.

I was explaining that the motor was a six pole, induction motor, 3300 volts AC, with a normal operating range of 100 to 250 rpm based on pipe sizing…

“No. A six pole motor would 1200 rpm. I would hope you had learned that in class”

I keep my pride in check and proceed to explain the concept of slip on an induction motor and how the AC to DC to AC drive works to control the motor speed and torque.

The kid responds “Wow…this guy really doesn’t know what he is talking about. A six pole motor always goes 1200 rpm”.

Horatio Cornblower

Ed Hochuli’s explanation always remind me of Mayor Quimby yelling at the denizens of Springfield.

“I’m tired of pandering to you morons! The QB’s forward progress was stopped before the ball came out, the play’s dead, there is no fumble or challenge. Now shut it, or there’ll be no potholes fixed this year either!”

herodotus450

Is this Kenneth Dixon who plays for the Ravens the same as Boobie Dixon that used to play for the Bills?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

No he goes by Tittie Dixon, which is also Dez’ mother’s stage name.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bill Belichick isn’t used to being tagged team by someone in stripes since your mom got out of jail.

...

I had forgotten how tasty and balanced Revolution’s Anti-Hero IPA is. I shall partake in several tonight.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

If I see anymore about balance, I will throw a copy of “Eat Pray Love” into my co-workers’ gaping vagina.

herodotus450

Let’s just move the rest of the open thread to right here, as replies to this post.

herodotus450

Gotta make this the banner quote. Alienate further those who are not here!

Horatio Cornblower

I am going to burn the Revolutionary brewery to the ground. TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Needs Baltimore to lose.
Wants New England to lose limbs.

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...

ROOT FOR THE TIE

Spur

That was a strip

Spur

yay, go rat birds!

JustStopDude

ELITE-ish…incomplete….

...

Devin Hester is still a thing?

Hmm. That’s nice.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Jeff Fisher got fired for constantly going 7 and 9. That’s also how Jerry Sandusky got a prison sentence.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Buddy, at the end of the game, just pick which of your comments you want on the banner.

LemonJello

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/vqGeMsr.gif

Gott und Himmel! You just pick up where you left off last night! It’s nice to get to see a master at work in their preferred medium.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“…by most metrics and some Imperial Standards…”

Too good. I tip my double IPA to you, sir.

Unsurprised

Everybody’s accent is the same with a dick in their mouth

King Hippo

As featured on HBO’s “Oz”

The Maestro

Hi folks. Looks like it’s me and Sharkbait versus the world tonight.

Let’s play nice and be respectful!

Nah, fuck that, screw the Ratbirds, praise be unto Belichick and Brady, and hail BLEERGH.

Spur

This song was written in Baltimore

Spur

I didnt see the rules for tonight, are the Ravens allowed to lay a finger on Brady?

LemonJello

Only after first getting his consent.

Unsurprised

“Con—

Cent?”
— Ben Roethlisberger

Unsurprised

Allowed? NO.

However, the Ravens are used to getting away with murder.

deviantBastard

“Alleged” murder.

Spur

Evening

LemonJello

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King Hippo

Blood makes the Mass(holes) grow, KILL KILL KILL

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Anyway, I found our Patron God:

Lucretiel: “To elaborate more on this- Khorne is the Chaos God of Anger, Violence, and Hate. He draws power from violence and killing. He sits on a brass throne, atop a mountain of skulls centered in a lake of blood. Whenever his followers spill the blood of his enemies, that blood is added to the lake, and when they are slain, their skulls become part of the skull throne.”

LemonJello

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

After seeing all this tumor talk, all I could think of was former Giants receivers.

jjfozz

Lavunitas and miller lite pintts so here ed go – also that story about the child with the brain tumor was sobering. Hugged
My kids after that

LemonJello

Then told them to get the hell out from in front of the gott-dammed tv?

Spanky Datass

May all those associated with “C’MON MAN!” develop fatal ass herpes.

LemonJello

Can they contract said ASS HERPES while in the act of “Just Got Mossed”-ing?

jjfozz

Not terminal, chronic so they can suffer longer

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Geez, usually if I am on the banner I am sucking off Lou Ferrigno through a glory hole!

Unsurprised

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JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

Is it surprising that a kid with a severe brain cancer likes to watch normal people destroy their brains with concussions for his amusement?

JustStopDude

Really ESPN and NFL…you are going to trot out the sick kid on the sideline?

People are still going to hate Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Unsurprised

No

jjfozz

Tonight we r all ravens fans

U ALL FUCKING BETTER BE IR THIS WHILE THING IS OVER

Unsurprised

JJFozz needs more mad to be drinks

Unsurprised

And so I remembered that I can make any caption I want, so why not go with the happy ending in this scenario?

Unsurprised

You fucking cocktease.

Brady being crippled for the season, God forbid he suffer a career-ending injury, would be the best thing in my year and I’ve actually had a pretty good year.

Unsurprised

Indeed!

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