Your “My Kingdom For An Adequate QB!” Raiders/Texans Wildcard Battle Open Thread

Oak/Hou– If you’re a fan of defenses making signal-callers look silly, have I got a game for you. The Raiders rook Connor Cook doesn’t have much of a CV pro-wise-in his only game he threw at a 66.7% rate with one TD and one INT. That one score was to Amari Copper though. Looking back on his career at Michigan State he seems to be a pocket guy with a fair amount of accuracy. If said pocket collapses, don’t expect him to gallivant down the field. As a junior he had his highest rushing avg. which was a paltry 1.5. His strength (aside from a massive arm) appears to be his ability to go through his reads and prevent the old “happy feet” from manifesting themselves. Recently-named All-Pros lb McKinney, lb Mercilus and combo lb/de Clowney should be able to get to Cook. Mercilus and Clowney between them had an astounding 60 pressures. The Houston D ranked 2nd in the league in pass defense and of the guys mentioned above, the oldest is 26. Further good news for them is that lt Donald Penn “Protector of the Blind Side”, has been ruled out of the game.

On t’udder side of the field is the 72 million dollar throwing disaster Brock Osweiler. Looking at the many and varied stats available for the qb position I couldn’t find Brocky occupying a position any better than 27th. I found a few that had him ranked 33rd and 34th as well. You made the right choice, Elway. Houston’s O-such as it is-scored a meager 23 TD’s all year long-that’s dead last for those that can count. Hopefully rb Miller hit the weight room hard during his two game injury absence because he’s gonna have to carry the O on his shoulders and legs-I’m sure he gets 25+ carries today. If Osweiler must go to the air he’ll be dealing with a Raiders secondary (none of whom I recognize, okay maybe Demps) that has held Stafford, Rivers, Rogers and Luck to 235 yards or less. They should get at least two picks during this tilt.

It sure looks like an old-timey ‘possession is everything-win with D-heavy on the run game-don’t turn the ball over’ sort of footballing game. Sure they’ll be some play-action heaving of the ball downfield here and there but not much.

This is our first playoff game of the new year-HAVE AT IT, BOYS AND GIRLS!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

NFL Officials: “What are the rules?”

Doktor Zymm

PUT ThE BALL SOMEwHErE THERE IS A FOUL ON ONE OF THESE TEAMS

fleshwound_NPG

After watching Crabtree drop passes today and OAK improving after he leaves, and seeing Golden Tate dropping the very first pass he sees, today might be kinda a banner day for WR schadenfreude.

Brocky
theeWeeBabySeamus

Haha…my Dad was that way.

Unsurprised

I’m still that way after forth goddamn minutes

Dunstan

This is what alcohol is for.

Well, among other things.

King Hippo

yeah, my hands won’t be warm until mid-late March

Doktor Zymm

It’s amazing that Ball SO Hard University has produced so few notable alums

King Hippo

perhaps if there were a BALL RATHER MEDIUM feeder JC program??

King Hippo

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, they serious RAISE A GODDAMNED FLAG??

Spur

False Flag tendencies in Seattle.

Unsurprised

Fuck. We’re done here.

Croooow

Super Bowl in Detroit, huh? I hear there was a Detroit native in that game.

Brocky

I can’t decide which of these teams has a better chance to beat green bay

King Hippo

the team DESTINY has chosen

Shogun Marcus

GB would go to either of the bye teams. Atlanta if Seattle wins, Dallas if Detroit.

Doktor Zymm

It’s so sad that Stafford can’t flick off people with his dominant hand without help.

Also, I still see Devin Hester Bears jerseys. I wouldn’t mind seeing a classic return moment from him.

fleshwound_NPG

Heather Cox?

I hope she does

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Geico cavemen: Why still a thing?

Doktor Zymm

Hate : both of their customers and of paying tv ad producers

JustStopDude

I am not going to lie…I watch every episode of the fail ABC series based on those stupid commercials…and they were fucking hilarious.

Doktor Zymm

GO CECIL

Croooow

I’m pretty sure KC gave Larry Johnson about 800 carries that year.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll be drinking Americanos. Does that make me patriotic, cause it’s a drink named after MURICA, or not, cause it’s in Eye-tie and has foreign ingredients?

Unsurprised

It’s booze. Who cares?

Doktor Zymm

Turns out I don’t have any sweet vermouth anyway, so I’m just drinking a chrome bumper anyway

Spur

Go Fuck Lions!

King Hippo

Destiny DEMANDS IT!!

Unsurprised

Aw, nuts. I was rooting for the Raiders like a good Mexican.

Shogun Marcus

Oh shit. Gold glob ads all night. No one deserves that kind amount of Fallon.

...

He’s so overwhelmingly milquetoast. It’s as if he was bred to be the most agreeable, corporate-approved entertainer possible.

Unsurprised

Also a reminder that NBC owns a piece of the President.

Doktor Zymm

the Detroit Auto Show is next week. Shall the city go into it in glory or shame?

Sorry, that’s a silly question. But anyway, GO FUCK LIONS OF DESTINY.

I’m going to be horribly disappointed, and did not stock my liquor shelf accordingly. Sigh.

Spur

new thread?

fleshwound_NPG

alright, time for the less bad game

herodotus450
blaxabbath

This is the scarriest of Texans Stories come to life.

Doktor Zymm

THE PATRIOTS GET A DOUBLE BYE!!

EEEEEK!

Unsurprised

MOTHERFUCKER!

Unsurprised

Brock Lobster needs to be dunked in a boiling pot.

Anyway, I just went for an invigorating snow walk. Good times. Kept my usual pace up, too. So I’ve got that going for me.

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