Your “Paging Tom Coughlin’s Red Face. Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Telegraph” NFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

“Anyone can ‘lick the table’-that’s for amateurs. A real pro knows that the good bits are directly beneath the table sitting there on the floor.”

-Andy Reid, misinterpreting Aaron Rodgers’ prediction

NYG/GB– 6 in a row vs. 9 of 11. Fourth in scoring vs. second in points allowed. The Pack has scored 30+ in their last 4 and the Giants have allowed 10 or less in 3 of their last four. The Giants have more interceptions than TD’s allowed. Rodgers sports a 15/0 TD/INT ratio since the winning streak began. THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD GAME. Game-wise the big fear for the Giants is if Rodgers is able to find lanes to run/elongate plays so that a wr can get open. The Giants do have two lockdown guys at cb (Jenkins, Rogers-Cromartie) and an All Pro at safety in Collins. That combined with a dl that can clog up running lanes and ends that can get to the qb has this Giants fan engaging in a modicum of hope that the victory can be pulled out. With Rodgers and the Giants D so evenly matched I guess it comes down to which is more capable-the Pack’s D or the Giants Eli Manning-led O? Shut up! The run game has improved greatly since rb Perkins has started. Over the last 3 games he’s averaged 4.8 ypc. So there. [deliberately ignores Manning’s 9TD/6INT stat line in the last 6 games] Green Bay’s secondary is a mess and OBJ can break one at any time, you know. Plus the punter Brad Wing/gunner Dwayne Harris combo has played lights-out the last few games!

…Dammit-I’m still not convinced the Giants can take this. Let’s watch this scrotum-tightening bastard game, shall we?

GO-GO GADGET COMMENTERS!!!

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Have we reached that time of the night/BAC where I post cute a cute video of animals (specifically Newfoundlands)? Yes we have. (For a tl:dr, watch the last 20 seconds)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y37KmD8V2No&index=21&list=FLElLiEqyPBhmYJmszucTulg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
the Alpha and the Amoeba

WFT??? okay, that was not the video I meant to post. This was
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y37KmD8V2No&index=21&list=FLElLiEqyPBhmYJmszucTulg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think the double attempt at posting a video/image is the real welcoming into the community event. So you are stuck with us now

the Alpha and the Amoeba

FUCKING YOUTUBE! Okay, ve try again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y37KmD8V2No

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oh god, that moment when you close your eyes for a second and feel the room spin and realize how drunk you are.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am stumbling downstairs for ice and half a cig if it makes you feel better

Senor Weaselo

Also known as the “oh shit” moment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Welp, didn’t give me the “Hey, dipshit; you posted a duplicate comment.” routine…..

http://68.media.tumblr.com/2f62a430b020d8f2c51f28de545db159/tumblr_oa7uaxzcMG1v9tfppo1_1280.jpg

Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Just for the record I trust @tWBS the same even though he was a dick. I see all the Craigy Ferg interviews are gone with guys.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

With guys? Did you miss the Kristen Bell compilation i posted?

the Alpha and the Amoeba
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Don’t lean”

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

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Brocky

I didn’t watch much of craig; but the opening of his final episode was pretty awesome

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHRC184WqD0

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

32:43 Time stamp doesn’t work

the Alpha and the Amoeba

This thread needs more holiday cheer. How about Kristen Bell feuding with a gay robot skeleton? (Also featuring Craig Ferguson)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLAp7fyV3b8

theeWeeBabySeamus

Kristen and Geoff are some of my favorites. She’s funny.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Their banter is top notch!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They were fucking on the side. The gay thing is not really true; he is a bytebot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some people call it binary.

Brocky

Finally found it;

@The Alpha And The Amoeba the reason I remembered your name was that its near my absolute favorite line in the series, and also might quite possibly be the the best threat ever delivered in any medium, fictional, parody, or other wise:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E65cITBq9Rc&feature=youtu.be&t=3m33s

the Alpha and the Amoeba

That scene is the epitome of awesome. Both Goku and Frieza’s lines are just incredible!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

@tWBS I have to go for a cig break. I need you go to a Joel McHale or Donald Glover one for me. I trust you to do this for me

theeWeeBabySeamus

“I trust you”
Yeah…..OK.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here’s what happens when you trust me…..Joel McHale….sort of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpCc_86yf6s

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

In the batshit portion of MGS2 and I suddently remembered that VG Cats used to be a thing. http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=159

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Continuing the theme of Craig Ferguson and hope, you all should watch this vid where he interviews Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Craig got a Peabody for that one interview, and honestly, it’s one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12OlAe2Sfes

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If it makes anyone feel better. It never was one specific trigger why I got the shit kicked out of me as a kid. He was just a psycho with an anger problem that I moved back in with and now is on a dose of steroid that would kill most people. So he is fine now.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Hearing that you had a terrible childhood doesn’t make me feel better in the slightest, but I’m glad that you seem to have survived it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was going to be making a joke about how he would die from a heart attack or pass out if he tried to beat me now. I was gonna add in my fight style of just letting someone try to hit me til they get tired while being 6’2″. Plus I can take a punch. I have experience

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oh god, could you try simultaneously depress me and give me such obvious openings for simpson’s references; it’s emotionally confusing when my smart-ass and compassionate sides start fighting each other. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaFnANb8y30

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oh god, could you try to not simultaneously depress me and give me such obvious openings for simpson’s references; it’s emotionally confusing when my smart-ass and compassionate sides start fighting each other. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaFnANb8y30

JerBear50

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Here, cheer the fuck up assholes (yes, that’s directed at my sorry ass more than anyone)….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39WUZNrZImI

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus….we are some dark depressed MF’ers tonight.

Gratliff

Fun mental exercise: How many children saw abuse because their liberal parents are actually fucked up and lashed out after Trump won? A statistical certainty it’s greater than 0. The world is a terrible place.

Shogun Marcus

No doubt. Librul cray be worse I reckon. More unhinged, unfocused. Red cray has been honed tight with time.

Shogun Marcus

One sad but true reason I’m glad for the win is children and those who answer the call to protect them will have a quiet night. It’s ridiculous how insane it gets in this state with losses. Like a full moon but worse.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oh come on. I’m not saying that WI is free of child abuse because nowhere is, but saying that abuse rates are significantly affected by the Packers success is just passing the buck from the real villains. The kind of scum who would hurt kids don’t need any excuse to do so.

Shogun Marcus

I worked 15 years in CPS in Milwaukee. I know the stats and facts and lived them. You can chart it statewide. Is Fact.

JerBear50

I can see that. I would think anything that would significantly encourage angry drinking could affect it.

Gratliff

The reality is that anything that can agitate someone will increase the likelihood of triggering violence in people already prone to it. Things that agitate large groups of people have a scaling effect. It’s why there were so many studies on how domestic violence reports explode during Superbowl Sunday. The same can be said for economic distress, election results, civil unrest, new Nickelback releases, etc etc etc.

Shogun Marcus

That last one always makes me baby-punchy. I should attend steve smith’s clinic.

JerBear50

Of course, if they’d just taken the goddamn garbage out like they were told, it wouldn’t be a problem.

Gratliff

She knew better than to undercook the chicken on a week where I bet the under.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Well this started me on a trip of extremely depressing reading. I have to admit that the evidence shows a correlation between team losses and rates of abuse in multiple states. I would still contend that the overall rates of abuse would not be improved if a state had no sports teams. People will experience disappointment no matter what their circumstances and there will always be that subset that will take out their frustrations out on others.

Shogun Marcus

There is always something, there is no doubt there. But here where it is THE thing, it is amplified. Nothing else comes close to the intensity. Combine it with “the shining” like conditions at times and people lose their shit.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

“The shining”-like conditions is slightly ambiguous. Do you mean:
Isolation from the rest of society by a harsh winter,
The availability of alcohol in large quantities, or
Malign supernatural forces twisting you into a state of enraged psychosis?

Shogun Marcus

The answer, as it always here when given options, is Yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I got my ass kicked in Wisconsin once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=765b-T5P450

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see Moose is here

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is it bad that my first thought on seeing that image is that there’s no way that kid could remove a human head with that short blade?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes…. because the camera angle foreshortens the blade. However the various red items extending from the neck cut are not how a human severed head looks it could be how an branding mascot clown looks when its head is shorn.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I swear this isn’t a “stick to sports” rant, but deadspin had the same amount of posts on what to watch instead of football today as they did about Giants-Pack, and that was about the Hail Mary at the end of the first half. I know I didn’t check it out for a while, but is it beyond hope?

Gratliff

It’s to be expected. They picked up all the side shit after the Gawker debacle.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But they still presumably have writers that could cover the NFL Playoffs! Right?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Eh, that site has really been floundering since Gawker went under. It seemed like they were torn between loyalty to their parent site, and the rational conclusion that Gawker and it’s admins had been incredible assholes who had it coming.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My problem with the first 2 eps of Sherlock this season is they keep giving heavy foreshadowing. It used to be light and I might catch it or part of it and be wrong about other things. The first ep this season had me begging for a reveal for 20-84 min each time a secret was revealed ‘discretely’. I am hoping they don’t keep with that pattern all the way through ep 2. I did drink too much today so I am taking another break and only at min 19

Shogun Marcus

It does make me wonder how it’s all going to end.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn right. Always good advice.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You really want to know? Sherlock is gonna “die” again so they can bring the show back in 10 years when the actors movie careers have died down

Gratliff

These are my people. I don’t know if that means I’ve made good or bad life choices.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow that was a really good nap.
What time do the games start?
Also why is it dark out?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Because your state (and PA) voted for Trump

JerBear50

How do you know who his Pa voted for? Yeah, you’re probably right.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My Pa’s dead…but he would nave never.

JerBear50

Just to clarify, the dead part isn’t what I +1’d.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My Pa is alive, he assumed the rest of the country wouldn’t fuck it up while giving passing arguments to why Trump is great. He didn’t vote. Then said all the racist and sexist things he could think of for awhile, regretting he let Trump get elected. Then a lot of self praise to make himself feel better about a leader he hates. If he could still play soccer he would have like 90 calls to close friends he fucked over that might have to move out of the country

JerBear50

Caught NPR news on my way into work. You silly fuckers don’t drive so well when it snows, huh?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m gonna presume that’s the royal usage of “you silly fuckers” and that you are not addressing me directly.
I’m actually a very accomplished snow driver. My dead Pa made me learn to drive a 4 speed VW Bus in a blizzard (and other shit like that) before he’d let me get my license. That was fun.

JerBear50

No, not you specifically. The news said there was something like 700 car accidents in NC today.

JerBear50

And it wasn’t even 6 pm yet.

Brick Meathook

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

So, generic tech question, it is possible to send a message to another user, or are the comment sections the only means of communication?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

See the private dick joke page.

Gratliff

That actually works for other people? I just get permission errors

Gratliff

Oh hey, so it does. When did that start working?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If it makes you feel any better I had no fucking clue how to use DM til it was just explained here @TAaTA

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Grazie; also, check your inbox

Brick Meathook

WHY DID THEY GO ON THE BOAT??????

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Senor Weaselo

So far I had half a pepperoni pie and Madre Weaselo made crescent rolls with taco meat and cheese in them. So I guess I’ll gain back all the weight I hoped I’d lose from not eating enough in China, shit.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going to cook the biggest (mostly non-egg) breakfast for dinner ever created in like an hour+ once I finish Sherlock, unless I get lazy. So basically probably no bacon, pancakes, waffles, sausage, fried ham, ,toast, hash browns for me.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I had sweet potato pork hash at a restaurant today and it was so disappointing that I wished I’d stayed home and made it myself. What I’m saying is get your ass into the kitchen.

King Hippo

I am crunk enough that this would surely result in massive FIRE

Gratliff

MGS2 time. Time for batshit insane government conspiracies and unironically laughing at “Fission Mailed”

WCS

Back home, half drunk, and already in bed with the laptop and TV on. Anyone have a problem if I take another nip or four out of the Old Forester bottle?

herodotus450

The fourth nip always makes Finding Forrester a little harder.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Given that I’m currently living in Louisville, KY, I say go for it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ooooh, you are? Recs for a first time visitor to the bourbon trail? Going in like two weeks.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t really made an extensive survey of the distilleries around louisville. Working on a PhD doesn’t leave a lot of time for going on tours to drink. Most of your drinking is done in more convenient spots, like your apartment…or your friend’s apartment…or the floor of an apartment that is hopefully owned by you or a friend. However, I found this web page especially helpful when I was planning a brief tour of a few distilleries a while back. http://www.drinkhacker.com/2011/06/10/the-kentucky-bourbon-trail-tips-tricks-and-advice-for-the-traveler/

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Also, if you happen to find yourself at loose ends in Louisville, I’d be down with meeting up for a drink somewhere.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Copy that. Trying to decide if we’re just passing through or making a day or two of it. Tbd.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So NY and NYC are OUTRAGED, OOOOUUUUTRAGED about the boat trip in Miami, but nary a peep about assistant coaches flying around and spending huge amounts of prep time on interviews??

Yes, OK then, everything is normal.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/7d0960458db4f3d3725a6885c97fb7e3/tumblr_ojddnhLbOj1uutnkko1_400.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

COACHES CAN’T BE ME FIRST GLORY BOYS, JUST BLA–UM, I MEAN YOUNG PLAYERS

King Hippo

white ppl can multitask obvs

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
JerBear50

Jason Isbell and Amanda Shires covered that one a couple years ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdMav-PA5g4

King Hippo

that’s awfully good!

JerBear50

They’re both great and they’re married. He’s probably my favorite young-ish songwriter out there.

Shogun Marcus

“Stating he’s on a yellow school bus, on his way back to Appleton (from the game ofc), and someone on the bus is smoking crack.”

“Neighbor brought three dead chickens to the fire station, and said that might be animal cruelty.”

And multiple people who’ve made their way back to nearby hotels…bleeding from various unknown causes (too impaired to share).

Thus endeth my observations of today’s local hijinkery.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Some of those might be me. I can’t be sure

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Sounds like a fairly tame night.

ballsofsteelandfury

I, for one, loved the scanner updates!