Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Edition

I saw no need FOAR a special Sunday morning edition, and hoped that Day Two would bring a marked improvement.

Shit in one hand, hope in the other, and see which gets full first.

Yinzburgh beat the absolute tar shit out of Miami, to nobody’s surprise. Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell each scored twice, so people playing those weird playoff multiplier pools are all likely even at this point. But, since all in 2016-17 must always be in support of evil at all times, The Ben got an ankle owie late, and was seen hobbling away in a walking boot after the game. The Pat*s red carpet (16 point faves against imaginary foe led by Brock Lobster Saturday night) gets another round of Carpet Fresh.

The first half of Gigantes/Packers was quite compelling, New York controlling the run of play, only a FEW BAD THROWS BY ELISHA resulting in drives ending in FGs instead of TDs. Then a bad punt gave Rodgers the ball inside the 40, and he capitalized like an all-time great (he really might be the bestest, this is hard for me to say as a Donks/Elway homer) always will to take a 7-6 lead into the half. Except…Jared Cook dropped a pass at a 20 that would have run the clock out, allowing Green Bay 6 seconds to try a 4th down Hail Mary from the 42.

And Aaron Rodgers REALLY is the BEST at this. When you get the angle right, it becomes significantly better than a 1 in 100 shot. As Rodgers proved yet again. TD, Randall Cobb.

But lo, the game changed again when Captain BlueBunny (h/t Jerry Was a Shogun Named Marcus) went for it on 4th and 1 from his on own 38, calling for a second consecutive off-tackle run. Everyone was surprised when the Packers snapped the ball, but the G-Men were ready, and stuffed it for a 2-yard loss. Then scored the next play. 14-13 and we had a ballgame with 20 minutes to play.

Surely, this would turn the tide and have GB back on its heels? NOPE. Rodgers led an immediate response (TD drive, all passes IIRC – was drinking), and it was all downhill from there, ending 38-13.

But since Satan is pulling all the strings, remember that the Giants are the only NFC team that has shown it can beat the Cowboys (and the only team at all that HAS beaten them, when trying). To top that, GB lost two key offensive starters and one defensive starter to injury.

Darkest Timeline Superb Owl is at hand. China certainly is readying her nukes. Tis only a matter of which hits us first.

* Also, my alma mater, NC State, lost at U*NC by 51 points in roundball. Worst loss since 1921, despite having a lottery pick PG on the roster. FUCK EVERYTHING.