Lesser Footy to Ease the Suffering

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

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Day Two of living under the First Reich. Assuming we are not yet dead, here are the fixtures we shall use to kill off time until we are (and until Chelsea are inevitably crowned champions in May).

Liverpool, newly knocked out of 2nd (huzzah!!) by Spurs on goal differential, will host Swans to kick things off (7:30, NBCSN). The Shite have struggled with lesser foes at times, but usually on the road. So sleep the fuck in.

The 10:00 window is less shitty than it has been, or I am just biased because Everton are there, on the road against putrid form Palace (CNBC). Stoke will host, and try to frustrate the fuck out of, United (NBCSN). That could be a tricky matchup for the Red Devils coming off an emotional, salvaged point against the Shite, don’t be surprised if they at least start slowly.

Multiple adequate options in Extra Time as well, but I’d guess that Watford/Bournemouth is your best bet at quality for laptop backup match streaming. Assuming one is so inclined.

Tottenham have a challenge on their hands if they want to keep 2nd position, travelling to a very wounded and likely angry Man City side (12:30, NBC), coming off the 4-nil drubbing on Merseyside. That loss represented Pep’s biggest managerial defeat EVAR. If City don’t respond to that, forget about Top 4, start wondering if they freefall to where maybe even Everton can catch them for 6th if they get really hot.

Sunday brings a proper NBCSN triple-header, as Jeebus surely intended. Soton and Leicester surely didn’t expect to find themselves in 13th and 15th position, respectively. But here they are, and the road to recovery needs to start at St. Mary’s (7:00), if at all.

Arsenal, forever defending their beloved 4th place, are up next at home against Burnley (9:15). Burnley are in 10th, and outperforming most expectations. This would certainly be a signature win for the Hornets/Moose.

The aforementioned inevitable champs get to close things off with a home thrashing of poor Hull City (11:30). The luckless Tigers had been showing signs of life, even possibly climbing out of the immediate relegation zone (if not the danger, obvs). But they’uns likely running into the cold, brick wall of reality here.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well NighJerry Was A Shogun Named MarcusFronkenshteenWakezillaballsofsteelandfury Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All me links! Dey don broke!

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Wakezilla

Student booked a private tutor class with me. He’s ESL and tells me he hasn’t gone to class in awhile and never really paid attention to his English teacher. Now, with his English 12 finals on Tuesday, this student, who currently is getting a 45% in English, wants me to teach him some tricks so he can get a 70.

I’m sure things will end well for him

Wakezilla

Holy shitsnacks! Anyone hear about how Junior Ice Football is in huge financial trouble? As a frequent Vancouver baby Liouns spectator, I know the attendance is hurting for them. At the same time, this was only revealed now that former players are suing the league for lack of wages. So it could be bullshit.

Shogun Marcus

Shogun Marcus

If I were to do an open mic…and drop a DFO reference…would anyone be offended? Just asking.

Wakezilla

No. Why would we?

Fronkenshteen

Will the audience come here and heckle my shit jokes?

/do it!

Shogun Marcus

I just might. The world could do worst.

Shogun Marcus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cleatass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, you guys that follow college; I’m getting mixed up as to which one is the Beavers and which one Ducks.

http://ww3.hdnux.com/photos/34/12/17/7381974/3/rawImage.jpg

Shogun Marcus

2 4 1 today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

OSZ has started delivering me various prizes for winning our FF league this year. While I will also thank him directly I did want all of you guys to know that one of the prizes arrived via US Mail this afternoon.

It was a tiny Dallas Cowboys locker.

I laughed so hard I scared the dog.

Magnificent.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

That. Is. AWESOME!

Shogun Marcus

ALRIGHT EVERYONE. LET’S AT LEAST LAUGH! (In Honor of Mr. BBR),
Yes/No/Meh (everyone jump in, add yours, no order or anything, just whut say yew?) My yes off the top of head:
Carlin, Pryor, Hicks, L. Black, Bamford, Oswalt, Kinane, Hedberg, Wright, Martin, Attell…I’m forgetting many.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Listening to XM and the local comedy station I hear bits from people I don’t normally like, but some routines are funny.

Except Dane Cook, never liked his stuff. Fluffy is all about Fluffy; but his earlier stuff was OK. I liked Kevin Hart until he got big (pun intended). Some people tend to lose the bitter edge when they get married or have kids.

Several other, John Pinnett, Dave Attell nearly always cracks me up, Natasha Leggero is pretty funny and her voice does things to my pants, Wanda Sykes, Lewis Black, Greg Proops, Jim Gaffigan, there are a shit tonne that at least have some good material.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have to say that between my job, family deaths, the election, etc. in the past year the comedians on the radio and TV have made it much easier to take.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fuck yes, he’s great too. He is one of the closest to my way of thinking also.

Shogun Marcus

I EGREGIOUSLY FORGOT JEFFRIES.

Shogun Marcus

Stanhope gets there too, but differently.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude gets real to the hate.

Shogun Marcus

Got gout? Like sammiches?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

love Kinane’s stuff too.

Shogun Marcus

I think you and I are similar in funny. We’ve had common likes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

So Hippo….when we lose to Wake at home today….
What’s the o/u on Wolven suicides? Or even homicides, for that matter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

I just love how shady futbol is. Even the minnows are cheatin to try to get a piece of that sweet FIFA money pie.

http://deadspin.com/tiny-island-nation-caught-creating-fake-passports-for-b-1791442399

herodotus450
herodotus450

What I hear when watching soccer

litre_cola

Hippo, your Evertonians better get it together, a draw to Palace is no good at all.

laserguru

Just curious, why are they not playing games next weekend and playing the games next Tuesday and Wednesday instead?

Can’t be good for ratings.

blaxabbath

Since EPL doesn’t use a playoff system and there seem to be only a few dominant teams, how do you Brits argue over who’s ELITE? Without playoff upsets and bad post-season matchups, the pecking order seems pretty cut and dry.

Or is this your way of avoiding English Mike & Scottish Mike on the talkies?

Big Black Richard
Big Black Richard

I swear that I mean absolutely no disrepect when I say the following:

Does anyone know a humor site on the internet where no one is talking about politics? My anxiety and depression is running out of control right now, and the best medicine for me is to get away from the subject matter that is causing all of the anxiety and depression. And yet the commenters/Kommentists at ALL of my favorite websites are discussing the upcoming catastrophe. I must not think bad thoughts. I must not think bad thoughts.

blaxabbath

I don’t recommend that you “March On” any major city today then.

In fact, considering that the internet is a #content mill, you may be better served visiting your local arthou….wait, no. Movie thea…..no.

Maybe read a book?

laserguru

This is a strong and poignant point.
From now on I will try to keep all of my content free of political bullshit.
At least my posts.

Sometimes I get real high when commenting.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There’s always the photo forums. Even the idiots arguing over whether Bella Thorne has implants or whether Ariel Winter is hot or just some fat girl is better than reading a single goddamn word about politics.