Mike Glennon to sign with Bears for AHAHAHAHAHA HOW MUCH MONEY?

Mike Glennon – who may or may not be an actual giraffe, is expected to sign a 3-year, $45 million deal with $19 million guaranteed. You’re gonna need so, so much Malört to deal with this one, Bears fans. I’m so sorry.

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The Maestro
The Maestro is a mystical Canadian internet user and New England Patriots fan; when the weather is cooperative and the TV signal at his igloo is strong enough, he enjoys watching the NFL, the Ottawa Senators & REDBLACKS, and yelling into the abyss on Twitter. He is somehow allowed to teach music to high school students when he isn't in a blind rage about sports, and is also a known connoisseur of cheap beers across the Great White North.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/author/the-maestro/
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

The hate is strong here. It is only Smarch, don’t burn out too soon boys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I need my spring training and off season hateouts. I don’t want to pull a hatestring in the first preseason game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; this sounds like some of the talk in the office regarding this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*May have twisted hate ankle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We certainly have a bunch of fucking team cap and NFL player market experts here. Real detailS of any contract won’t be released for months, right now the numbers are generalized if not outright speculation; BUT WE CAN CERTAINLY MAKE OUR FINAL SCOFFING JUDGEMENTS NOW (with very little knowledge and no understanding). I’M GLAD THIS HAPPENS EVERY YEAR!

#TRUMPSAMERICA

All that said; this post is good hate in just one paragraph.

Cuntler

Nah, it’s fine, although I worry about the state of the Canadian educational system.
The Bears newly-acquired Giraffe-back will make $19 million guaranteed over 3 years, for an average of $6.3 million a year. The rest is roster and incentive-based. Chase Daniel and Jared Goff made that much last year.

The Bears haven’t released how the guaranteed money will spread over the cap over three years, but they were due to pay Cutler over $16 million this year (only $2 million dead cap hit since he was released). Even if you assume he gets $15 million in the first year, that is still 22nd in the league for QBs. I think they overpaid him, but this is not as terrible as it sounds to someone who obviously doesn’t understand non-guaranteed v. guaranteed money.

I assume our friend is the sort of rube that believes that Tom Brady renegotiated his contract every year for “the good of the team”, when his restructuring actually got him paid more up front (time value of money is not a concept I will explain here) and more in the long run.

It is back-up money. He is a bridge player. The real excitement will come in watching whatever quarterback the Bears draft flame out spectacularly. In conclusion, fuck Canada and fuck the Patriots.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The coverage has been uneven on what’s guaranteed, so if the numbers above are final, fine. But A) his roster bonuses better not trip early and B) from your tweets I think we’re in agreement about the appropriate amount of enthusiasm for Mike Fucking Glennon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is no available QB worth any enthusiasm; all you can expect a team to do is work with what is available as best as they can given cap restrictions and market value. I’m not sure what the fuck people expect; they think players or cap space appear by fucking magic. This isn’t fucking fantasy football.

/temporary end of rant

Cuntler

Like Manning with Osweiler? Or Flynn with Russel Wilson? That argument is trash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Favre and Rodgers?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The mentor aspect is nearly nonexistent, with QBs especially. What affects that position is coaching, the system and natural ability.

It’s OK to hate Glennon for whatever reasons you’d like to let chap ur hide, just stick to those reasons and make it funny. Bullshit justifications are not that amusing.

Cuntler

Who is out there that is proven and better? You pay twice that for a fragile Romo (wait and see his numbers). You pay the same for a completely lost Kaepernick, or a Hoyer. Any trade would cost way too much. Glennon didn’t play because of Lovie, and Lovie is an idiot when it comes to quarterbacks.

Don’t get me wrong, Glennon sucks ass, but they are paying him like he sucks ass. From your original post, you don’t understand that. He is getting low-end starter/back-up money. You can tell their plan is to draft a QB, have an open competition, and hope it works out like it has for Seatte or Dallas or any other team that has gotten lucky in the Draft. I get what they are doing. The premise of your post is that they overpaid. They didn’t.

Cuntler

Also, I don’t have much faith in Pace and Ted Phillips, but at least I see what their angle is here. The past GM, Phil Emery, would have overpaid in a trade for Kirk Cousins or some asshole. At least this year they are using their cap space for a gap filler QB. Also, no one has jumped to sign Jeffry, and they have plenty of space left to do that.

When I heard about them signing him originally, I was pissed because I had heard over ten guaranteed per year. Now that I see it is nowhere near that, I am fine with it.

If the cap hit on the guarantee is mostly this year, then he gets basically a 1 year prove it deal for $15M and then two years as a backup for $2M if he sucks, with a low cap hit number to cut him. If he is at least average, that is what the Bears have had for $17M a year for the last 6 years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed; about the best they could do in this market.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; we need to make complete judgements on players based on a few clips from Redzone. Players never change, they can’t get better or worse. We need to stick to our preconceived notions about them throughout their careers no matter what; this is especially true if they let us down in the one fantasy week that one time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Glennon didn’t start for two years because the Bucs drafted their project franchise QB/misogynist. Before that he did “OK”, based on experience. The Bucs were willing to sign him to better than backup money to remain the backup. He projects to be better than roughly the bottom ten starters. If you had watched any of his games you’d know he has the basic tools, arm strength, accuracy, etc. to be a midlevel starter. His draw back was being somewheat inconsistent. Given what is available on the market the Bears did the best they could. Romo would never survive behind the Bears line and would be a LOT more expensive. Kaep appears to be ruined or reached his peak because of athleticism and not NFL QB skills.

http://www.spotrac.com/nfl/free-agents/quarterback/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Reports summarizing that the next closest bid was around $9M make my ears bleed.

Cuntler

That was $9 mil a year. See above.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I still can’t help but feel the Bears studied Amy’s negotiating tactics too closely.

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Senor Weaselo

When Jay Cutler was asked for his opinion, he flicked his cigarette into a dumpster. Someone later lit the dumpster on fire with a flamethrower, and Cutler was arrested and charged with arson.

Unsurprised

Poor Cutler

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Don’t worry, Jay always lands on his feet.

Unsurprised

BANNER!

SonOfSpam

Glennon’s gonna celebrate tonight with a coupla longnecks*.

*Relatives

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

oh THAT GOOD

#FearTehGiraffe

Unsurprised

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