Your “Well, That Was Fun” Free Agency Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL non-Free Agent news:

  • It’s official. Vince Young will be drinking the green water of Rider Pride this summer.
    • pretty much resolves the “Did Johnny Manziel try out?” question.
He’ll need this explained before he gets there.
  • Also cut: Jay Cutler by the Bears, who will only cost $2 million against their cap by this move.
  • Kirk Cousins has requested a trade. The question is, who is in charge enough to do it?
    • also, Dan Snyder told him to pound sand, because it’s not happening.
  • In case you missed it from the Free Agency thread, Aldon Smith picked himself up another alcohol charge today.
    • from the news report:
      • Smith has been detained by San Francisco police for public intoxication on Thursday morning. The incident occurred after a vehicle in which he was riding collided with an undercover police car. He is expected to be released by police when sober.

Finally, I renewed my Seahawks tickets today. $1930 for the two seats, which at today’s exchange rate equals $2650 Canadian. So I may need some extra money…


Free Agency:

So many signings! So many player moves!

So much willingness to take good money to join a crap team! A helpful agent in the player’s corner!

And it was only the first day. It’s hard to know where to begin, so have at it down in the comments. Who knows where Brock Ostweiler will land by midnight.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL: Nashville at LA – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
  • World Baseball Classic: Italy vs. Mexico – 9:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Thunder – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2
    • Lakers at Suns – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN2
  • NCAA: tournament action!
    • ACC: ESPN
      • 7:00; 9:00
    • B1G-10: ESPN2
      • 6:30; 8:30
    • Big-12: ESPNU
      • 7:00; 9:00
    • Big East: FS1
      • 7:00; 9:30
    • Atlantic-10: NBCSN
      • 6:00; 8:30
    • Pac-12: ESPN
      • 11:30

WHAT A DAY! (Was it? I typed this Wednesday.)

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

For the record, should Mizzurahh dance, twould be at 11-23.

King Hippo

Elaine Benes at the Northwestern game.

If I ever meet you, Brad Hall, I will kick you squa’ in the nuts…

WCS

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Sharkbait

This week in Gary Bettman is a Regional Disgrace:

Referee explanation of an allowed goal with interference: He initiated contact outside of the crease, even though he was in the crease

Senor Weaselo

Not like it was the turning point of the game or anything…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I really do wanna fuck that animated, glued-up lady

Shogun Marcus

Are you her supervision?

King Hippo

I am willing to roleplay that if it gets me in, sure. And phrasing!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

IKE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Wears jorts, 2/10, would not bang.

King Hippo

also seems like might be permanently 14 years old, still makes me slightly uncomfortable

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just remember, at least you’re not a [REDACTEDS] fan.

/Sorry Dok

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

This win would get X in fo sho. Close game with Gus and the Onions guy calling it.

WCS

Uh…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Does he at least get four tits?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

AHS is on regular cable….WE’LL NEVER KNOW DAMN IT!!!!

Gratliff

If only it were on Starz.
h ttp://imgur.com/8Tz4pee

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

FILMFILMFILMFILMFILM!

Horatio Cornblower

5 on Mars

...

With the Jay Cutler era coming to a close, I realized his eight (!) year legacy can be summed up quite perfectly as, “Don’t care.”

Farewell indifferent prince…

Sharkbait

Cigarette sales in Chicago will plummet.

...

As will communicable childhood diseases and cat litter sales!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m thinking more of “you’re gonna miss me when you’re Glennon”

...

When I saw that news and then read the comments here, I realized I shouldn’t give too much of a shit about his because the Bears are going to be shit for the next year or two and having a not godawful QB for that time doesn’t matter.

Fuck the Bears.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s probably true; looking at the roster right now I just don’t see how they can not be fourth in that division, unless one of the teams has a shit tonne of injuries like the Vikes last year.

Also; PHRASING!

...

The NFL is always such that if you overachieve by three or so wins, you’re usually in contention, but I don’t see the Bears sniffing more than five wins, especially since Alshon is gone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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King Hippo

I swear to fuck nobody has scored in this fixture in 15 mins. Might as well be Lesser Footy time already.

WCS

This game is poison.

King Hippo

I keep tryin’ to flip to X/Butler, but always at commercial

Gratliff

Flyera gonna Flyers. What a goofy fucking season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, how smart does John Elway feel right now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

He gets an extra carrot tonight.

King Hippo

sugar cubes or GTFO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Hippo could also run down his comment from the Osweiler signing thread last offseason, but I’m just an opinionated asshole who got lucky on this assessment.

My similarly strong positive review of Ryan Mallett from college…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/pat.gif

I believe I countered with “wait and see, not enough data, don’t over pay (a prove it to us contract). Well, I believe we’ve got enough data now.

JustStopDude
King Hippo

If the steerfuckers make the Dance at 14-21 (Chug. That. Bleach! WCS), will they be a 16 seed?? They should be, to punish them for their season, but it would kinda screw their #1 over.

/am ok doing this to U*NC

WCS

They’d probably be a 13-seed. Georgia won the SEC Tournament in 2008 with a 12-19 record, and got a 13-seed.

King Hippo

ah yeah, that’s right. Lost right away, IIRC.

Mizzou a more extreme example. They would prolly merit at least a 15.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

well, now that we have no OT and no Calais Campbell I kinda DO want Romo so we can flip Siemian to SF for Staley. Or to the Redacteds in some HAWT 3-way action with Cousins involved.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Easer er down there big boy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So Comicon next year?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t just like this, i LOVE IT!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Google street view is certainly a view of the streets.
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Sharkbait

THREE powerplay goals???

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo

THREE PPGs? Who is this team and what have they done with the Ice Giants?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You gotta practice in the off season.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What was that number again Clarisse?comment image

Shogun Marcus

36dd?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would need to personally measure to be absolutely sure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Craig can be creepy and it is either fine or not really that creepy.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sooooo which open thread is the real open thread?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is bouncers on both.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s just what the evil open thread would say!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

I need a life

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Bring back Matt?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Brocklobster is dead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess I should have put all the bouncing boob (unrestricted free agents) gifs on this thread instead of the previous thread.

http://cdn1.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/0813/funny-game-glitch-QWOP.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I feel gross, bad.

Redshirt

Now on TV is my favorite scene of Night Court:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBma9Z5dOao

entropy

My god I love this scene!

Col. Duke LaCross

Those million cases in one night episodes were the best.

Croooow

Iowa shitting the bed hard against Indiana. Near 30 point blowout. NIT it is, then.

Sharkbait

TWO powerplay goals for the Ice Giants???

Senor Weaselo

Apocalypse wooooo!

JustStopDude

Barkevious Mingo to the Colts…adding a lot of depth to the O-line…even the Brock deal doesn’t look full retarded…

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I am pleasantly surprised…

Sharkbait

The guy watching ET before just turned up the volume on TBBT. I have 2 more hours before I can leave.

JustStopDude

So the Browns made a move for Brock…

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Gratliff

The leafs look not great these/all days

Redshirt

So the R*dsk*ns first move of Free Agency is to fire the GM. That’s teach the GM to ask the owner, “What move do you think we can make today to make our team better?”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Dan Snyder: What move do you think we can make today to make our team better?
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Dan Snyder: Throw money at the problem!
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Dan Snyder: Yes! You’re hired!

WCS

I don’t criticize the refs a lot, but, holy cripes, these guys are lousy.

Gratliff

Gotta pace myself. Don’t want to use all the snarky “YOU LIKE THAT!?”s before the season starts.

Sharkbait

Slurs gonna slur.

Redshirt

Uh oh. The Patriots are trying to take advantage of the Browns’ Brownsiness.

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/patriots-reportedly-want-clevelands-no-1-overall-pick-in-package-for-garoppolo/

Sharkbait

Go Gpodawund!

Senor Weaselo

Oh, they will. You know they will.

Gratliff

So if Flyera lose to the Laffs, the season is basically over. Naturally, they start Neuvirth.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’m glad an older actress can still get work. I loved her on Cheers

litre_cola

Bebe!

King Hippo

Cousinfuckers continue to have hoodoo trouble with steerfuckers.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Rangers… power-play… goal?

Sharkbait

I didnt think they were allowed those!

Senor Weaselo

Alex Trebek singing ’90s R&B. Good night everybody!

Sharkbait

One of the night guys has put on Entertainment Tonight in the control room. I dont want to judge, but I’m only human.

Senor Weaselo

Judge away!

WCS

Kansas and Oklahoma State both lose their first games of the Big 12 Tournament?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4e7e6601741ef493b5c81ab3a7287843/tumblr_n08ot1x6EG1saa4c5o1_400.gif