Here we go, kids! Ready to take your sloth to a whole ‘nother level?? All times EST because Hippo.
#12W Princeton v. #5W Notre Dame (12:15, CBS)
Ivy tourney (yes, they finally gave in and held one) champ and the ACC runner-up. This game will feature all the 3s, and one presumes lots and lots of weaving. Perhaps there will be an exchange of wicker baskets at the end.
#12E UNC-Wilmington v. #5E Virginia (12:40, truTV)
Yep, you still have to find this shitty channel for a few MOAR days yet. The Sea Birds are an overhyped sleeper team that plays very poor defense, and Tony Bennett (despite having perhaps the shakiest side of his tenure, at least since he’s been established) should be able to exploit that mercilessly. Slave Fucker U to the Round of 32.
#13S Winthrop v. #4S Butler (1:30, TNT)
Oh snap, now we get to our first for reals upset candidate. Winthrop took awhile to get they sea legs back after Head Asshole Gregg Marshall departed for Scary Wheat, but back they are indeed. Butler is a solid team that has shown giant-killing ability (Villanova redux) but they won’t overwhelm Winthrop with talent the way a Kentucky would. One to watch for sure, two very good (if less-hyped) coaches.
#16W South Dakota State v. #1W Gonzaga (2:00, TBS)
I am always sad (as a Son of the South) that this no long stands for “The Braves’ Station” unofficial-like. And as much as I want to see the 16 over 1 upset…I don’t see it. Zags are too big for the bunnies. But they always make me think of this cool song:
#13W Bucknell v. #4W West By God Virginia (2:45, CBS)
I know the square root of fuckall re the Bison, but I have watched the King of Track Suits’ side many times. They are capable of absolutely anything at any point in time. Wild card, bitches!! Hope WCS has ample pills and bourbon handy.
#13E East Tennessee State v. #4E Florida (3:10, truTV)
What I said above also applies to this fixture, except my watching a bunch of Gators’ games. But as I noted in the regional preview, they are the girl with the golden curl. In the dance, they are either very, very good…or very, very bad. The Mocs are just there for the scenery.
#12S Middle Tennessee State v. #5S Minnesota (4:00, TNT)
In a bit of a Freudian slip, I kept trying to pit in the Gophers as the 12. Serious, I have MTSU winning in every bracket I submitted. At least I think so. Perhaps it’s just Pitino Jr’s dopey fucking face, or how shitty the B1G is, or the fact that the Blue Raiders seem fairly athletic…maybe all of the above??
#9W Vanderbilt v. #8W Northwestern (4:30, TBS)
The Commodores (and their rapey-as-fuck mascot) got here on the strength of a tough schedule and being Florida kryptonite. Chris Collins has guided the Wildcats to their first bid EVAR, so he will need to keep his charges from the “happy just to be here” feels. Winner gets to beat the piss out of Gonzaga, so there is ample motivation here.
I like that SD St doesn’t wear a conference logo. I hope someone asks them about that in the presser and the coach is like, “South Dakota State IS Summit League basketball”.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/JI6ImqPrvy33Y6AGfDgjbl9Wlkyk8n7sacD4bH8_wHnQje0-bBGlpRyYDaTxKV1hfqh_=h900
Every time I peek at this game, SDSU jacks up an airball.
Which explains why they’re up on the WCC’s most prestigious program.
It’s a remarkably bad fixture. I’m watching b/c SFU/moron coach is making me too mad.
WHY won’t SFU pull away?? Shit sniffing pricks!
Heisenberg knows what’s up.
Gettin high on his own supply, obviously.
WHO CARES WHAT SOME HOLLYWOOD LIBTARD THINKS??? STICK TO ACTING OR HOLD THE TOURNAMENT IN YOUR MANSION, BRIAN!
Good effort, needs more misspellings.
Zags bricking the wide open 3.
Then SDSU airballs their own.
Arizona had better shut out this entire bracket.
my office pool entries heartily agree
There’s a guy on Wilmington who’s name is D. Cacok
Did anyone have Gonzaga making it to the Sweet 16? Because I know I didn’t
Looks like ND gonna survive. That was kind of a meteor game.
That potential Baylor-Duke game is the pinnacle of wishful meteor thinking for me.
Ignore-rape U vs. Falsely-charged rape U
No, Notre Dame is Ignore-rape U. Baylor is more of an actively-suppress-investigations-into-rape U.
I thought Notre Dame was Let-God-kill-non-athletes-and-shrug U.
Jerk-off-a-priest-and-go-to-heaven-U
Yeah, I miss being an altar boy.
hey, think of all the money you saved on indulgences!!
That isn’t what I meant when I said, the Church shouldn’t sell indulgences.
Eh, go nail another stupid list to a door, heathen.
Oregon is U of Recruit-Known-Rape
WHY not drive the ball??
Princeton guys don’t drive themselves.
I’m wondering why shoot a deep three with plenty of time on the clock to dish it in for an easier shot.
Manbun?
I hope Virginia’s bus explodes at they’re leaving the stadium.
I call him Princess Leia
[turns on Virginia game, is disappointed]
– Aaron Rodgers
In any other game Notre Dame would be able to win by out gritting their opponents. It’s just not working against Princeton’s “Blood, Sweat, and Dad’s Money” approach to the game.
“Excuse me! I’m 18 so the trust has matured. It’s MY MONEY — with Dad’s stipulations.”
– Cocaine Addicted Rapist
Man, Verne Lundquist really loves Princeton.
he’s old, he’s white, he calls SEC games ,, smh
White guy with neckbeard’s favorite move is easily the double between the legs pull up from NBA range with a hand in his face
And he did it from mid range
Hey, Hippo and Seamus, Tom Crean’s got nothing to do now.
we are hoping they don’t go for Arch Miller. Doubt we go for Crean, though I like him way better than many alternatives if Arch passes.
That’s crazy. Sean and Archie in the same state would be interesting.
wha?? Arch is almost surely gonna go to NC State, Indiana, or stay put.
Sean is going to jump to the UNC gig when it opens.
That doesn’t seem like something the Holes would do. And would sure make me mad if he’s trying to keep Arch away from State for that reason…
I doubt that is the reason.
Miller throws that shade though.
http://www.espn.com/video/clip?id=18881203
Virginia-UNCW looks more like a (10)/(12) game.
Slave Fucker U has been poop since 2nd week of Feb
You told us they could come out of the East you lying sack of shit
they COULD. They’re a system team. Somehow ahead, playing this bad. I have them in the Final Four in one of my 3 office brackets.
I haven’t looked at the rosters, but between Princeton and Notre Dame there’s at least one Sam, Doug, or Alex
Shit, but I did find an Alec, and about 4 different versions of Steve.
Princeton still with only 3 fouls.
They play The Right Way. Not like those other animals.
Looks like butler is gonna put away winthrop early.
http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/892/937/2937892/coleman-in-trading-placesjpg.jpg
It’s a long story, but tWBS, I, and wolves everywhere need (desperately) FOAR Slave Fucker U to win this fixture. It’s gross cheering for them, and it’s a VERY long, awkward story…
Who?
Please, do tell.
State has some yahoo alums with money who “know” the UNC-W coach (who’s a moron) and are pushing him for the job over much more qualified candidates. The AD is retiring and is in a weak position to push back.
The Indiana job coming open could make things complex with our primary target, too (Dayton’s Arch Miller) so we don’t need ANYTHING making the moron look good.
Well, I can’t beat off to THAT story. Thanks for nothin.
Have I mentioned how much I love The Americans?
And to think, until Nina’s “trial” she was only the 2nd hottest lady on the show…
Taco Bell is weird. Like every item they have can be both a meal or a side. I don’t like that lack of clear cut division.
Everything on their menu is just the same thing in a different order.
IT’S THE GREATEST FRIGGIN’ DAY OF THE SPORTS YEAR
Shayok is kind of a badass.
I wonder if Ted Cruz is pandering to his fellow hu-man Princeton alumni.
Allie LaForce has a pretty husky voice for a woman who looks thusly:
http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/allie_laforce/img/allie_laforce_cbs_college_football_sideline_reporter_amp_miss_teen_usa_2005_46.jpg
It’s from chugging all the cocks.
Holy Christ. I’d be fine letting her be the man.
Dear every potential employer,
Go eat a bag of broken glass, you demon spawn.
Love
Fozz
Verne pretending he learned “Jambo, jambo” (Swahili) while traveling to Tanzania…look, fucker, you learned it the same way we all did, from “All Night Long” in the mid-80s. Thank you, Lionel Richie for teaching us all to be a little more multicultural.
You all know the holiday is tomorrow, right?
FACK YOU we drank today chuh chuh
/cops be out tomorry
I can’t help being an asshole
oh and we LOVES it. assholes is our bidness!!!
And bidness is good.
Princeton runs backdoor cut, CBS announcers have on-air orgasm.
They sounded like they were fingering their own back doors.
“Oh, God, that play was just so…PALE!!!”
They think I’m in the “Kevin Can Wait” demographic. Hippo NAWT amused.
Wait — there’s a BIGGER Big Mac now?
America need MOAR FAT
There was, but he slimmed back down.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxqr6821xd1rn95v2o1_500.png
I’ve eaten one. It’s pretty good.
So…based on the new slant* of the Ghost in the Shell ads they have given up on selling it as a high-concept film and are instead pitching to the Taken crowd. Lovely.
*”Could we maybe replace that with a term that’s more, ahem, Caucasian?” – sleazy Hollywood producer RTD
Looks like their marketing team has a chink in the armor.
I typically pick Duke to win the whole thing as a hedge against them actually winning (if they win I have the money as consolation). But the pool I’m in is too big (like $600 for the winner) that picking them actually encourages me to ROOT for them. I’m not really on board with that.
“If Princeton comes back to win, the eating will be legendary!”
http://www.thelosscolumn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/2600.jpg
“OH! The floater goes”
-Something I hope to say every morning
My oldest son forced me to fill out a bracket this morning. I picked Bugs Bunny as the champion. He was not amused.
You know, you can turn it off sometimes….
[looks at Kentucky’s roster]
“More like THUGS Bunny, amirite?”
– Colin Cowherd
I count 4 black guys on the court.
This is how I know neither of these teams are going to the Final Four.
Everyone on the floor for Wilmington is black right now
Oh I have on IRISH v GARRETTS
I feel like the first 1-seed to lose to a 16 seed should get the death penalty.
That’s some Rollerball shit.
I’ve always insisted that expanding the tournament field is idiotic and pointless until a 16 seed beats a 1.
Virginia is 312th in scoring offense in division 1. I didn’t even know there were 312 teams in Division one.
How many did you think there were, MISTER Obama?
Like maybe 150. I didn’t think there was any way more than 200 teams were in D1
There are only 100 or so D1 football programs, but basketball is way, WAY cheaper to run.
“When I see lots of weaving, I know it’s time to trade that chick’s husband.” -Chip Kelly
What an Indian giver.
Time to finish washing the morning dishes and get ready for work.
It’s cool, I’ll be home in 9 short hours!
Fuck!
Slave fucker U. seems to be stabilizing.
Oh, you mean the immigrants looking for a better life who got free room and board???
I didn’t get a harrumph outta that guy…
We need a Gus Johnson tracker for the tournament, just highlighting when and where he’s calling a game. He does call tournament games right?
It’s not even an hour in yet and already looking like everyone’s brackets gonna be fucked.
I feel lied to. I was told in the preview that they would be very good.
Virginia’s in trouble. How’re they gonna come back when they only score 40 a game?
Also, UNCW has a player whose last name is pronounced KAY-cock. So that’s something.
Wait, is it halftime? This game is so dull that the only way I noticed is that there seem to be more ads than before.
I hate this type of ball. It’s like a bad middle school game, all it’s missing is a leering Marc Trestman in the stands…
“IT BEGINS…”
Li’l Sumpin Sumpin Ale #1?? OPEN!!
I don’t think Princeton is very good, so the day should start slow. No biggie, folks stuck at work.