2017 Madness Open Thread – Thursday Afternoon Block

Here we go, kids!  Ready to take your sloth to a whole ‘nother level??  All times EST because Hippo.

#12W Princeton v. #5W Notre Dame (12:15, CBS)

Ivy tourney (yes, they finally gave in and held one) champ and the ACC runner-up.  This game will feature all the 3s, and one presumes lots and lots of weaving.  Perhaps there will be an exchange of wicker baskets at the end.

#12E UNC-Wilmington v. #5E Virginia (12:40, truTV)

Yep, you still have to find this shitty channel for a few MOAR days yet.  The Sea Birds are an overhyped sleeper team that plays very poor defense, and Tony Bennett (despite having perhaps the shakiest side of his tenure, at least since he’s been established) should be able to exploit that mercilessly.  Slave Fucker U to the Round of 32.

#13S Winthrop v. #4S Butler (1:30, TNT)

Oh snap, now we get to our first for reals upset candidate.  Winthrop took awhile to get they sea legs back after Head Asshole Gregg Marshall departed for Scary Wheat, but back they are indeed.  Butler is a solid team that has shown giant-killing ability (Villanova redux) but they won’t overwhelm Winthrop with talent the way a Kentucky would.  One to watch for sure, two very good (if less-hyped) coaches.

#16W South Dakota State v. #1W Gonzaga (2:00, TBS)

I am always sad (as a Son of the South) that this no long stands for “The Braves’ Station” unofficial-like.  And as much as I want to see the 16 over 1 upset…I don’t see it.  Zags are too big for the bunnies.  But they always make me think of this cool song:

#13W Bucknell v. #4W West By God Virginia (2:45, CBS)

I know the square root of fuckall re the Bison, but I have watched the King of Track Suits’ side many times.  They are capable of absolutely anything at any point in time.  Wild card, bitches!!  Hope WCS has ample pills and bourbon handy.

#13E East Tennessee State v. #4E Florida (3:10, truTV)

What I said above also applies to this fixture, except my watching a bunch of Gators’ games.  But as I noted in the regional preview, they are the girl with the golden curl.  In the dance, they are either very, very good…or very, very bad.  The Mocs are just there for the scenery.

#12S Middle Tennessee State v. #5S Minnesota (4:00, TNT)

In a bit of a Freudian slip, I kept trying to pit in the Gophers as the 12.  Serious, I have MTSU winning in every bracket I submitted.  At least I think so.  Perhaps it’s just Pitino Jr’s dopey fucking face, or how shitty the B1G is, or the fact that the Blue Raiders seem fairly athletic…maybe all of the above??

#9W Vanderbilt v. #8W Northwestern (4:30, TBS)

The Commodores (and their rapey-as-fuck mascot) got here on the strength of a tough schedule and being Florida kryptonite.  Chris Collins has guided the Wildcats to their first bid EVAR, so he will need to keep his charges from the “happy just to be here” feels.  Winner gets to beat the piss out of Gonzaga, so there is ample motivation here.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Croooow

And Vandy with the derp.

WCS

Does Middle Tennessee knocking out Minnesota count as an upset?

Croooow

I remembered when MTSU ran off heavy favorite Michigan State with relative ease. When they drew Minnesota, it was a confident choice.

Croooow

Ah the upset that really wasn’t that everyone picked.

Beerguyrob

THIS VANDERBILT COACH, I CALL HIM ANDY REID BECAUSE HE DOESN’T MANAGE HIS TIMEOUTS WELL AT ALL!

Fronkenshteen

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Beerguyrob

Do they ever call “3 in the key” anymore?

Also, this Northwestern – Vandy game has more swings than Trump’s sex dungeon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d make some kind of joke about being invited to a 3-in-the-key party but I think Buddy Cole would do it better justice.

WCS

I counted at least twice Bucknell should have been called for it, and, to be fair, WVU once.

Fronkenshteen

THESE VANDY COMMODORES, I CALL THEM SPONGEWORTHY BECAUSE THEY’RE ABOUT TO FUCK ELAINE BENES.

blaxabbath

Bro on northwestern bench in khakis and sweater is REALLY punching some air.

blaxabbath

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Fronkenshteen

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blaxabbath

I’d be fine with all of Trump’s budget cuts if they’d include sending the military’s recruitment budget to a hard $0.

Senor Weaselo

That’s what the Party Posse’s for!
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blaxabbath

Call me old fashioned but I think players wearing tights under their uniforms is ridiculous.

Bloody Lethal

God I hated the Virginia game and I’m hating this Minny game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT SO FAR I CALL IT GREG ODEN’S KNEES CAUSE IT IS NOTHING BUT CHALK.

WCS

Banner worthy.

/Greg Oden’s tibia explodes while sitting and reading the newspaper

Senor Weaselo

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where’d he get some chalk to put where his knees were?

Fronkenshteen

Cracked Podcast is quite good this week.

WCS

This fucking team is going to give me an aneurysm.

WCS

Yeah, we just spent the entirety of our allotment for the rest of the Tournament.

blaxabbath

I hate the zone.

Teams running the zone should get the death penalty. And if you football teams plays a prevent D, just shut your entire athletic department down.

blaxabbath

Y Bucknell no rebound?

Fronkenshteen

Nursing my last beer till my wife gets home with more.comment image

LemonJello

Good luck.
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Fronkenshteen

I failed. Took a shot of vodka & made a screwdriver with what was left in the bottle. Aaaaand she just pulled in!

blaxabbath

Bryan Cranston’s Bracket (artists conception)

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Fronkenshteen

I love Huggo on the stool like he’s Robert Fripp or some fucking thing.

Unsurprised

Enough dicking around. Gonna go for a walk. God willing, Duke blows up while I’m out.

blaxabbath

Well, you can’t say Gonzaga is not one of the nation’s top 32 best CBB teams.

Senor Weaselo

As far as the top 32 CBB teams go, they are one.

blaxabbath

Is that Matt Stafford on South Dakota State?????

WCS

Satt Mafford

Unsurprised

Fatt Stammord

LemonJello

T. Tam Droffats, Esq.

blaxabbath

Would you look at Gonzaga hustling for rebounds! What a team! What ferocity!

Fronkenshteen

Mocs big!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The pictionary drawing in that Bud Light commercial reminds me a lot of Kirk Van Houten’s depiction of “dignity”.

http://i.onionstatic.com/avclub/5265/67/original/640.jpg

WCS

Played a terrific first ten minutes, a lousy next eight, and a solid last two minutes. We should be up more than nine, but, I’ll take it.

WCS
Fronkenshteen

All the new commercials get an F. Good thing I only have to see them 10,000 more times.

Senor Weaselo

Boo, Gonzaga’s probably going to win now. I WANT CHAOS, especially because Princeton lost so I won’t win Warren Buffett’s money.

Unsurprised

ALL I WANT IS WAR. I WANT TERRIBLE SHIT TO HAPPEN. I WANNA SEE HOW WE FUCK THIS UP. I WANNA SEE HOW IT GOES TO SHIT. NUKE IT ALL. FUCK IT— ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER (@ZODIAC_MF) October 1, 2016

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Trevor Semen

SunriseSunrise, can you please explain to us what kind of drugs influenced you to pick Gonzaga?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So in light of the Jose Fernandez autopsy, this is something very personal to Buddy and I really mean this.

Rule 1: If you are going to be a DD, don’t be an asshole and drink.
Rule 2: If you see DD is not being a DD and are still sober enough, you stop fun time immediately and make sure this asshole gets home alive and doesn’t operate a goddamned thing. That is your goal now; be pissed later.

For the love of God, if you are in that situation and you’re still sober, don’t wait for someone to be the responsible one. Be that person, and you will possibly prevent multiple deaths.

Then, the next day when they sober up you call them a man-child because that is how they acted the night before, and rip them a new asshole.

nomonkeyfun

“rip them a new asshole”

https://youtu.be/dLA1Af0QDHs

Unsurprised

Literally?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

No. Ironically!

blaxabbath

I just use Uber.

Unsurprised

YOU’RE WORSE THAN HITLER!

WCS

Gin ‘n tonic #1 poured. Nerves: already shot. Baby: crying.

WCS

Follow-up: Gin and tonic after an ice cream bar does not compute.

Sharkbait

So my company is carrying NCAA to Turner broadcasting. Such a glorious thing wasted on someone who didnt even fill a bracket. Oh well. GO UPSETS!

The Maestro

That was a yuge bucket for Virginia.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looks like I turned this game on just in time for Gonzaga to get its shit together.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d forgotten how much I enjoy the liveblogs. I missed this.

Unsurprised

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Trevor Semen

SFU’s number 11 needs to put his ankles on high alert. He almost fell down like 4 times that play.

WCS

I have to admit that I really do enjoy the Sam Jackson, Spike Lee, and Charles Barkley commercials.

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/good_motherfucking_choice_dave_chappel.gif

Trevor Semen

Did Manbun just do the heroin needle celebration? That explains a lot.