25 Questions About……

Europe.  As you may remember from last week, I am on vacation in lovely Europe.  I am currently drinking alcohol every night and eating like a king every day so, believe me, I am taking FULL advantage of what Europe has to offer.  Speaking of, not everyone has been to Europe, so you may have… questions.

1- Did you know that newspapers in Europe used to publish topless photos of girls DAILY?

2- And that young Balls, when he went to Europe the first time way back in the 90s, bought a paper every day and brought them back to America?

3- Are you surprised that there was a successful “No More Page 3” campaign against The Sun that ended the practice in 2013 and moved it online (NSFW)?

4- And that a similar campaign that same year made the German newspaper Bild move their topless girl from the front page to page 3?

5- Not a coincidence, right?

6- Is this why Brexit happened?

7- Since when did the Brits get so prude?

8- Is it dumb that I’ve forgotten my history and forgot where the Puritans came from?

9- Is there any logic to the fact that Brits are prude yet Scandinavians that live in colder climates, Germans that live in a similar climate, and Spaniards that live in warmer climates all have the reputation for being sex-crazy?

10- Seriously, have you ever seen a German porn mag?

11- How much bleach did you have to use to clean your eyes?

12- Are the Italians pissed because I didn’t mention their creepy sexist asses (no offence, fozz, but Italian-Americans are quite different from Italian-Italians)?

13- How could I also forget the Greeks and their love of well…

14- Holy shit, how can I forget the French and their mistress-having-and-accepting asses?

15-  Real talk:  how great would it be to live in France and have a wife that cooks and takes care of the children and a mistress that works out, has amazing sex with you, and then goes on her way and THIS PRACTICE IS TOTALLY ACCEPTED BY A SOCIETY THAT IS PREDOMINANTLY CATHOLIC LIKE ME?!?!?

16- There’s no way that’s happening in North America, right?

17- If President Trump was found to have done all the weird sex things like the pissing hookers and all that stuff and admitted it and said, “Yeah, you’re just upset because you can’t do that”, would it make you like him a little more?

18- Would you think wrongly of me that a part of me would be even more proud to be an American?

19- And that part would be my penis?

20- Speaking of, why is it that the absolutely most crazy fucked-up thing you can do to a penis, the Prince Albert, is named after a British Royal?

21- Are the Brits secretly really fucked up way more than the Germans?

22- Is that why they’ve gone against them twice in World Wars and are now contemplating Brexit?

23- Why can’t we all just get along?

24- Did you know that there are parks in Germany where people can go FULL NUDE?

25- Seemed a lot more exciting before I showed you the pictures, didn’t it?