FEBRUARY 2017 – MIDDAY – INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA – CHARGERS/RAMS JOINT STADIUM SITE
[Three well-dressed men exit a limo and approach a chain-link fence, bordering a sprawling quagmire of mud]
STAN KROENKE: The foreman is telling me that this rain may cause a serious delay.
DEAN SPANOS: How serious?
SPANOS: Well, can’t you just pay someone to help hurry this mess along?
KROENKE: Can’t you?
SPANOS: And why would I do that? You’ve made it very clear that this is your stadium.
KROENKE: Because, this delay is your fault.
SPANOS: [Incredulously] MY fault?! Nothing is MY–! [Gathers self] How could this possibly be my fault?
KOGER: If this was a one-team stadium, we would not have to work on the additional facilities up front. We could also petition the league to allow some of the games of the 2019 season to be scheduled away from Inglewood while we catch up.
KROENKE: But your short-sightedness has thrown a wrench into the plan.
SPANOS: [Brooding] You should have been ready for this when you sold this to the league as a two-team stadium!
KROENKE: It doesn’t bother me too much. It’s not like I’m risking my family’s fortune on this project, or need to play in some rinky-dink soccer stadium for another year.
SPANOS: You son of a–!
KOGER: Gentlemen! Gentlemen, finger pointing will get us nowhere.
KROENKE: [Muttering] It sure worked for Dean these past 16 years…
SPANOS: What was that?!
KOGER: Both of you, relax! We don’t even know if this is going to delay at all yet! The state has been in a drought for years! We’re heading into spring now, and forecasts are calling for nothing but sunshine. As long as nothing supernatural happens, we should be more than ready for the grand opening in–
[The water drop strikes a small puddle sitting between the three men with the faint but unmistakable sound of a STOMP. It bounces off the surface, causing another STOMP as it lands. A small droplet is propelled upwards, finally splashing with a barely audible CLAP.]
Meanwhile, in the skies above…
BOLTMAN: IT’S TIME FOR A LITTLE H-2-OOOOOOHHHHH YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!!! [Pelvic thrust]
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