2017 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview – Sort Of

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not going to lie, about the only thing I know about the Bucs is that their quarterback is a seafood thieving rapist.  Who never had to face the music because more or less, he had a shot at getting his school a National Championship.  And he did.  Job well done, Tallahassee.

Plus, he smrt….

Shame on you Jimbo.  Shame on you for allowing your child to think this is OK.

But I will act like I kinda care, and at least forward you to what others’ opinions are, and what they have to say on the matter of the Bucs’ 2017 outlook.

Let’s get to it and get this over with.  I’m already getting nauseous.

 

After coming up just short in 2016, can Mike Evans and the Buccaneers crash the playoff party this season?  (AthlonSports.com)

The biggest question mark on offense is at running back. Doug Martin will miss the first three games serving a suspension for PEDs. The Bucs re-signed Jacquizz Rodgers, and both Charles Sims and Peyton Barber return. Tampa Bay used a fifth-round pick on Boise State running back Jeremy McNichols, who has the best hands and is the best pass protector among backs in this year’s draft.

Winston has to cut down on his turnovers. He’s had 42 in two seasons (33 interceptions and nine lost fumbles). The Bucs expect him to have more time to throw the football, which should help alleviate that problem. The plan entering training camp was to move guard Ali Marpet to center to make room for J.R. Sweezy at right guard. That could lead to more inside zone runs and a good screen game with Marpet leading the way.

 

Buccaneers: Roberto Aguayo proves that reality must follow fantasy (ThePewterPlank.com)

We all know the story by now. Jason Licht made a drastic move to select Aguayo last year. Licht is an aggressive man. When he sees a guy he wants he does everything he has to in order to get that guy. The move to select a kicker was unsual, but so was Aguayo’s success in college. The success did not continue and it’s over.

What have we learned here? We have learned that general managers should follow the advice of fantasy owners.

 

2017 NFL predictions: How the Buccaneers will have the best record in football (FoxSports.com)

*Honestly, I only bring this up here because it came up in my research due to the title.  But this guy needs medicating.  Think I’m wrong?  Click on it and read.  Here’s a taste….

But wow, people really don’t care about the Buccaneers.  And that’s the most emotionally uplifting thing I’ve discovered this week.

/remembers it’s only 4am on Tuesday

//stands by that statement

Honestly, there’s really no more research to be done.  The rest of the articles, etc., are just copies of the same things.  And there aren’t even many of those.

I mean I knew that I didn’t care about them.  But I thought the folks in central FLA did at least a little.  Apparently not.

I suppose I could file thru all their personnel transactions and actually make an effort to really do some analysis myself.  But yeah, that’s not happening.

Having said that, after drinking some and becoming a little more pliant…I decided to look a bit closer.

I think the Bucs could be good.  Which annoys me, yes.

Now, not 13-3 good like that pinhead up there whose article I linked and quoted.  But maybe 9-7, outside shot at 10-6.  They’ll probably make the playoffs at least as a wild card.  Might even take the division if Atlanta manages to screw the pooch.  Which is very possible.  I mean , it’s Atlanta.

But I still hope Jameis Winston suffers a career ending injury to the genitals.

No one has ever deserved it more (though some have deserved it just as much).

Now, Imma go eat some crab legs and rape something.

/tWBS’ cat runs and hides under the bed

Relax Kitty.  It was a joke.

I probably shouldn’t post photos of cheerleaders after making a rape joke I guess.

So I won’t.

But here’s their schedule though I cannot imagine why anyone would care.

Date Opponent Time/Result Tickets
Sep 10 @Miami 9:00 AM
Sep 17 Chicago 9:00 AM
Sep 24 @Minnesota 9:00 AM
Oct 1 N.Y. Giants 12:05 PM
Oct 5 New England 4:25 PM
Oct 15 @Arizona 12:05 PM
Oct 22 @Buffalo 9:00 AM
Oct 29 Carolina 9:00 AM
Nov 5 @New Orleans 8:00 AM
Nov 12 N.Y. Jets 8:00 AM
Week 11 BYE
Nov 26 @Atlanta 8:00 AM
Dec 3 @Green Bay 8:00 AM
Dec 10 Detroit 8:00 AM
Dec 18 Atlanta 3:30 PM
Dec 24 @Carolina 8:00 AM
Dec 31 New Orleans 8:00 AM

And yes, I see that those game times are all kinda hinky.  No idea why.  Hawaii maybe?  I really don’t know.  The table was copied/pasted from CBSSports.com’s site.  Who knows?

But I’m not about to do the research to fix each one.  If you really give a crap about the Bucs, you’ll know when they’re playing.

And also, if you give a crap about the Bucs, you have my sympathies.

SMGDH

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.

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JerBear50
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JerBear50

No one gives a shit about pro sports down here beyond paying lip service. It’s fucking absurd that there are three NFL franchises in this state. Head up to the Swamp for a Gators game and you’ve got a party on your hands though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
Member

You bash Tampa, but they are the most popular professional football team in Florida!

Redshirt
Member

I keep waiting for one big hit that causing a player’s jersey to start flashing 12:00.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Banner

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Apropo of nothing, the Brady “Jazz Hands technique” gif now has over 37,000 views. I can’t figure out how. https://gfycat.com/LastingColossalBarnswallow

BFC’s “Who took away his dog?” has nearly 28,000. https://gfycat.com/LastingColossalBarnswallow

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Probably ought to find a way to get the [doorfliesopen] name on there.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

They’re tagged, but in the future I’ll add a [doorfliesopen] watermark

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Feel free to use this one:

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litre_cola
Member

That is a lot of effort in order to give no effort, kinda like work. Not 1 mention of Schiano or infection either. Well done?

Redshirt
Member

That reminds me of people I work with. When I ask him to do something, he reacts as if I am asking him to dig a trench around the plant with a spoon.

Douchebag: “When did you find out you needed this done?”
Redshirt: “Slightly before I send you the email.”

Enrico Pallazzo
Member

The QB admittedly used to drink of a piss spigot.

blaxabbath
Member

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“That’s sad, he prolly don’t even remember that he’s a rapist no more, smh.” -King Hippo

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

FYI: All Quotables Macros (so far)

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King Hippo
Member

Hey, I gots two on same day!

blaxabbath
Member

Of note, Ashley is my favorite Bucs cheerleader.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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nomonkeyfun
Member

Never forget.
http://giant.gfycat.com/NastyFrayedBantamrooster.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8mUMSi5M8g

/Quack, quack

Get back in the unemployment line Chip. Yes, you have to stand there with all “those” people.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

This is the biggest I could make it without being over 10 MB. Size > Quality

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blaxabbath
Member

On the one hand, TB’s uniforms are so terrible that they won’t win shit (outside of the AFC South — but we all know that doesn’t count).

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On the other hand, their offense is a rapist and a guy serving a cheating suspension — just the two kinds of characters SNF couldn’t jerk off fast enough….

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

On the other hand, their offense is a rapist and a guy serving a cheating suspension — just the two kinds of characters SNF couldn’t jerk off fast enough….

I think you’re looking for the Steelers preview. It was earlier in the day.

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