First, Some Business

The lovely and talented YeahRight has once again put together the DFO Suicide League for you degenerates for the upcoming season.  So get your sorry butts in there and play with us.  So to speak.

The group name is DFO Crack Suicide Squad and it is a public league. That being said, you will first need an ESPN ID and Password to join. I’ve had one for years and if I can figure out how to do it, so can you.

Go here and sign up.  Seriously, do it right now.  The rest of this post isn’t worth your time anyway.

Besides, you wouldn’t want to miss out on kicking my ass.  Other than the March Madness Bracket Challenge, I usually suck at this stuff.  Which will give you the opportunity to make fun of me.

(seriously, go sign up, don’t make me come find you)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGK8IC-bGnU

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DISCLAIMER (So I don’t get sued, and hopefully not arrested):  The following is by no means intended to be interpreted as me advising anyone that they should make a choice to willfully disregard applicable laws in their jurisdiction.  I make my own choices, but you must make yours.  I am merely offering the information as a discussion point.

And also some hot chicks.

Please don’t sue me.  Or report me to the police.  I have enough problems already.

Also fair warning, this one is a little long tonight.

TWSS.

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I warned all of you this one was coming.  Phrasing.

And this is the right week for it, IMHO.  I went intellectual on your asses last week.  Maybe I will again next week, who knows?

But this week, not so much.

It’s the TGISF Bong Girls Special!!!!

Buckle up, Buttercup.

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Now truth be told, at the time of this writing, it’s been nearly a month since I smoked.  There are various reasons for that, but they all boil down to the fact that I don’t NEED to smoke.  When I need to not be high (and right now I do) it’s never been a problem.  Even after smoking heavily for an extended period, I can stop with no withdrawal symptoms.  Well, other than wishing the world would just go away already so I can start getting high again.

But I digress….

Alcohol and other addictive substances cannot say the same thing.  I mean you know, like if they were alive and could talk.  Which they’re not.  Thank God, because I think that would be really, really scary if they could.

/dangit maybe I AM high

But in all seriousness, if I drink regularly for a while, or take opiates for a while (something I experienced when I bashed my face into the pavement via bike accident), then when the need or want arises to stop, the withdrawal symptoms are not fun.  Both of which I’ve experienced firsthand and it really sucks.  IT.  REALLY.  SUCKS.

Not so with marijuana, at least for me.  Or anyone else I’ve ever talked to about it.

Now before we continue, I’d like to point out that stoners often lie about things.  Not because they’re stoners.  But because they’re humans.

That table above is not 100% correct.  Weed does not cure cancer, though it can mitigate some of the symptoms of the cancer and/or the side effects of some types of cancer treatments.  Nor does it grow brain cells FFS!!!!  It’s stupidity like that which gives stoners a bad name.  That’s completely false.  A person does not grow new brain cells once the central nervous system has matured.

But that brings up another point.

While I believe that marijuana should be legalized, it should not be used by minors.  Just like alcohol.  Proper studies on this are lacking regarding the exact reasons, but anecdotal evidence is pretty clear that a young person who uses marijuana regularly does sometimes develop….let’s call it “mental disability” (they grow up stupid).  And that’s not even taking into account the part of the argument which is that lack of maturity causes bad choices/judgements about things normally already.  Weed (or any mind altering substance) and kids is an accident waiting to happen.

Also, calling it an anti-depressant is technically wrong, but I do get why it might seem that way to some folks so we’ll let that one go.  I don’t wanna get into that debate again.  Last time I did, the idiot I was debating was stoned.  Not surprising probably.

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But what about inhaling the smoke?  Isn’t that harmful to the lungs?

Yes.  Yes it is.  Any stoner who tells you differently is at least uneducated and maybe one of the “smoked too much weed as a kid” types I mentioned above.  Inhaling the smoke from any combustible material does affect the lungs adversely.  No way around that, it’s a fact of biology.  When a house catches fire, people don’t die from smoke inhalation coincidentally.

When ANY smoke is inhaled (tobacco, marijuana, BBQ grill, house fire, doesn’t matter) it alters the function of the ciliated epithelial cells (silly ate a what?) lining the inside of the airways in our lungs.  These cells, in combination with the goblet cells which produce mucous and live side by side with the ciliated epithelial cells, are very important in removing particulate matter from the lungs.  And I mean just in the normal air that we breathe every day.  In other words, when you hock up a loogie, you can thank your ciliated epithelium and goblet cells for just having gotten some bad shit out of your airways so you can breathe.

Any sort of smoke increases the production of mucous due to irritation of the lining of the lungs, while also paralyzing the function of the ciliated epithelial cells.  This is the biology behind what is commonly referred to as “The Smoker’s Cough”.

And yes, marijuana smoke is no different in that respect.  Anyone who has ever had to clean the resin out of a pipe should realize this.

But here’s the thing (two things, actually….no wait, three….shit I really think I am stoned)…..

1. Marijuana can be prepared and ingested in ways other than inhaling a combustible smoke.  Though if I’m being honest, I personally still prefer to smoke it because it’s easier to control the level and duration of effect.  Plus I like the smell if I’m being honest. (Hat Tip to Litre-Cola for that first link)
2. Unlike tobacco, which is merely a vice and/or addiction IMHO (and I say this as someone who does enjoy an occasional cigarette fwiw), marijuana actually has some redeeming effects.  For some people at least.  It’s not for everyone.
3. Even a heavy weed smoker doesn’t inhale as much smoke as a habitual cigarette smoker.

Admittedly, there is a caveat on #3.  Most marijuana smokers do intentionally hold the smoke in longer, and that does increase the amount of particulates which land into the lungs.  Honestly, I don’t do that anymore because I don’t believe that holding the smoke in longer has any increased effects regarding getting higher faster.  Others disagree with me.  They are sometimes apt to say “If you don’t cough, you don’t get off”.  And that’s their choice.  Personally, I believe they BELIEVE that they feel higher quicker when doing that only because of a lack of oxygen while holding their breath while they hold the smoke in.  Yes, I’m serious.

But again, that’s their choice.

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But doesn’t it just make you lazy and not want to do anything?

If you’re already lazy and sloth-like, yeah.  But speaking for myself, and people I’ve had experience with as far as observing them while high, if you’re not already an unmotivated lump of crap…weed doesn’t change that.  That is propaganda.  Nothing more.

In fact, when I’m high I actually get MORE done.  I shit you not.  I’m more industrious, I’m more creative, and I’m happier while doing the menial tasks we all must do on a daily basis.  Which makes me want to do even more.  Or at least more willing.

I am literally a better human being (and also much easier to get along with) when I’m baked.

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Legalities?

First, driving while high.

A lot of stoners will tell you they’re fine to drive while high.  Some will even tell you they drive better while stoned.  That is complete and utter bullshit.  Just like alcohol, marijuana does slow reaction times.  And eventually, if someone drives or operates heavy machinery while high, something bad will happen.  Even where legal, the penalties for driving under the influence are the same.  And should be.  In fact, as an aside, I believe the penalties for driving under the influence of any mind altering substance are not harsh enough.  But that’s a different discussion, so let’s leave that alone for now.

What about the fact that marijuana is still illegal in most jurisdictions?

Yes, that is a problem.  Technically, I’m a criminal right now.  I’ve never hurt anyone or stolen anything.  I pay my taxes.  But because I have marijuana in my possession and I live in a jurisdiction where it is not legal, I could be fined at the very least.  Perhaps even arrested.

And more than that…..

Because it’s illegal in my state, it forces me to go thru illegal channels to obtain it.  Fortunately, my connection and I know one another very well, so for myself it’s not as much of an issue as it can be for others, but it’s not NOT an issue.  I know people who have gone looking to buy weed and gotten themselves into some hot water, to coin a phrase.  If they’d had a legal dispensary around the corner from their house, it would have been safe and they wouldn’t have gotten their asses beaten and robbed.

Plus, when it’s illegal it’s also unregulated, meaning the state doesn’t get a cut.  Which makes the state stupid, IMHO.

Then again, my state is way stupid for a lot of other reasons too, sooooo….yeah.

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So tWBS, Obviously You Like Weed?

Yes I do.  A lot.  So what do I enjoy doing while under its influence?

Well, as I mentioned above, even things I don’t like doing are more tolerable.  But what do I really enjoy while high?

• Writing – As I touched on, I’m much more creative when high.
• Music – Playing, listening, whatever.
• Movies/Television/Reading – When I’m high, I can get immersed in a good story much more effectively.
• Cooking – Again this goes back to the aspect of being more creative.  And fortunately I don’t get the munchies.  Which is good or else I’d weigh a ton.
• Sex – Not gonna go into details here (you’re welcome).  But yes, I’m serious.  Lowered inhibitions, increased creativity, increased “stamina” let’s call it.  ‘Nuff said.

And on that note, let’s move on, shall we?

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Sports Which Make You Wanna Stay Baked

NFL

There were two lackluster games last night.  But I have to laugh at this headline…

Newton perfect in preseason debut, Panthers edge Jags 24-23 (CBSSports.com)

Why does that make me laugh?  He played one series, threw two passes and completed both for 21 yards total, and a TD.  Which technically is perfect, so the headline is factual.  But I still find it funny.

Elsewhere, the Iggles who will not be Iggles much longer managed to get past the ‘Phins who will not be ‘Phins much longer, 38-31 final in that one.

There are two more lackluster games to be had tonight:

• Patriots at Lions – 7:00pmEDT – TV: No idea, can’t find it here, I presume it’s on locally for you poor bastards in NE or DET
• Chiefs at Seahawks – 8:00pmEDT – TV: CBS

MLB

And now I’m laughing again.  Why?  Because two of my three most hated teams decided to get pissy and beat the shit out of each other yesterday.  Over and over and over.

Didn’t see it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3OoD-YZWU0

Now if the Orioles would beat the shit out of Boston tonight, both literally and figuratively, it will start the weekend off right.  And it could happen….there is already bad blood and retaliations very well might be on the menu.

Also, fuck Kansas City too.

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Now all of that I just said about that brawl is (mostly) meant to be tongue in cheek.  Having witnessed several brawls while in attendance at live sporting events, both baseball and football, it’s a surreal thing to watch.  And it’s dangerous and stupid.  But it happens.  Hive mind kicks in, there’s no reasoning with that (does that sound familiar?).

But here’s what….

A pitcher throwing inside is part of the game, especially to a guy who’s been lighting you up.  And sometimes batters get hit.

But the unwritten rules of retaliation are stupid.  When that happens, it should be an automatic 15 game suspension.  No questions asked.

But even more than that…

When a pitcher throws a 98mph fastball, directly at a batter’s head?  You’re done for the year pal.  Pack your shit and go the fuck home.  And if there’s less than two months left in the season, you get two more months off the following year.  And you don’t get paid.

There is no place for that in our society, let alone the game.  It’s a fucking game, gentlemen.  And I don’t give a fuck who you think you’re sticking up for.  Because that’s the problem, you didn’t think.

James McCann is lucky to not have serious life altering/threatening injuries after this bullshit…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExEaoOJUs7A

…and Dellin Betances can fuck right the hell off.  And yes, given the chance I’d tell him that to his piece of shit face.

You could have killed that man Dellin.  And then you fucking lied about it, lies which I’m sure you were coached on because you’re damned sure not smart enough to come up with them on your own (you were probably told to throw at him, too).  My opinion is that you should be charged with assault, at the very least.  Fucking piece of human waste.  Accidental “ball slipped out of my hand” my ass.  And then you’re going to try to take some moral high ground because they only tossed you AFTER they’d made certain McCann wasn’t dead?  Fuck you.  Fuck you, and anyone else who ever does that shit.  As well as any piece of shit manager/coach who calls for it, or even just condones it.

/deep breath

But there are games tonight, and there seriously might be similar stupidity in Boston when the Sox host the O’s.  I just hope no one gets seriously hurt.  Fucking idiots.

Tonight:

• Seattle at NYY – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
• Kansas City at Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)

Full Schedule

Standings

See, this is another reason why weed is great.  Let these guys get baked before games and this kinda macho testosterone “mine’s bigger than yours” bullshit wouldn’t happen.  But admittedly, the games might take a little longer to play…..

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Bong Girls Are Fun Girls

OK, I didn’t screw around with ya’s this week as far as trying to be obtuse and hide the theme.  If you’re still reading then I presume I have your implied consent for the rest of this.

Some of you aren’t gonna like it.

Some of you are gonna love it.

Enjoy…..

OK, that’s enough.  I need to go call my weed guy.

You folks are a bad influence.

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Any post about marijuana would not be complete if I was remiss in including these two artists, of course.  So here ya go….

But here’s one which I suspect most of you have never previously heard.  Great song (IMHO).

Have a good weekend folks.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em.

Love ya’s

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Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme?  Drop me a line…

[email protected]

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