Your “Drinking Turkey Like It’s Water” Saturday Evening Open Thread


So, NHL training camps opened this week. The important thing is that the return of hockey will bring me many national games to enjoy on the days between football games. There’s about three weeks of garbage hockey to get through before the Canucks can start letting me down for real. Luckily, a couple of them take place enough time zones away I won’t care.

The Kings & Canucks are going to China for a couple of games. The NHL is mandating that they take actual regular-season players, and not just kids they’re going to send down to Utica or Ontario (Cal.) once camps close. The Canucks are smart, though, and only taking one Sedin, because if they lose them both no one will be able to prata svenska to the rest of the power play once the season starts.

One thing I am looking forward to is anniversary beers. The Tampa Bay Lightning turn 25 this year, and to commemorate it they are having a special beer brewed for their home games (& hopefully for sale in local stores).

I’m sure Dave Andreychuk there has had more than a couple on the house, considering the ring he HELPED THE LIGHTNING STEAL from the Flames back in 2004.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Eskimos at Argonauts – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Lions at Stampeders – 10:00PM | TSN
  •  NCAA:
    • LSU at Mississippi State – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Colorado State at Alabama – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Clemson at Louisville – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Texas at Southern Cal – 8:30PM | FOX
    • San Jose State at Utah – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Ole Miss at Cal – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • UFC Fight Night:
    • Rockhold vs. Branch
      • Prelims – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Mains – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
  • Baseball:
    • Blue Jays at Twins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

I’m in Seattle tomorrow for the Seahawks home opener. Will there be stories? I HOPE SO!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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LemonJello

So Petrino can just up and die there on the sideline, right?

Spur

Texas D playing inspired

LemonJello

Longhornception!

Spur

That’s one way to get out of your own endzone.

WCS

Explain..

Spur

See Lemonjello above

herodotus450

Lamarr Jackson’s patented scrambling technique allows him to take 4 or 5 bodyblow hits on every play instead of 1!

WCS

The RGIII Method!

herodotus450

At least he got some kickass wedding presents.

Spur

That was one hell of a stand by Texas.

herodotus450

Kinda looks like he g ot in; either way, definitely a sign of the times that there was no Bush to help out on that play.

herodotus450

Miss St. running back Aeris Williams? I don’t think the game is going to end well for him.

WCS

The training staff has some phoenix down in their inventory.

JustStopDude

LSU is imploding.

Spur

i blame all the sodium in the gumbo.

LemonJello

Just watched a Louisville defender get trucked and carried about five yards by Clemson’s RB, and have the balls to get up and dance like he did something at the end of the play.

herodotus450

People who make a big public deal out of getting engaged and/or married should have to have the same fanfare if they get divorced. Shame-walk through the streets level of fanfare.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

A guy with Writers Guild benefits got paid a generous salary to write that line.

LemonJello

Artist’s re-creation:
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Unsurprised

I’d kill a motherfucker for that privilege.

Spur

Yay Fighting Papa John’s!

Spur

That was stupid by the Clemson defender

LemonJello

They’re really stepping up the enforcement of targeting this season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Texas is looking frisky and am eye fucking the USC Song Girls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Is this the week that usc suffers their embarrassing loss of the year to an unranked team?

WCS

That’s Arizona State week.

herodotus450

Lamarr Jackson is one secret cock fighting ring away from being a huge football star.

LemonJello

“Drop the fighting part, and he can be on my team.”
-Anonymous, Green Bay WI

Spur

The Ken Burns Vietnam documentary should be amazing. I hope John Kerry’s service is brought up. Swiftboat this cocksuckers!

King Hippo

that part won’t make it past new special PBS Commissar Bannon

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Bannon’s remake will just be Rambo III with Drumpf superimposed over Stallone the whole time.

herodotus450

The whole series is just Kerry traking down the guys from those commercials and garroting them.

Unsurprised

Oh, God. If he did that back in 2004 I’d die of dehydration from … excitement.

Spur

Big stop there for Louisville

WCS

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Hell of a punt, too.

King Hippo

Not sure the Petrinos are gonna make a game of it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I get up to grab a beer.

I step in dog piss. My parents brought their FIVE dogs.

“MA…one of your dogs peed in the kitchen”

“JSD are you sure?”

“Well it was either one of the dogs or dad…all of them go outside now!”

herodotus450

Sounds like the local Korean restauraunt is getting some free inventory tonight

WCS
ballsofsteelandfury
King Hippo

LOVE that song, too

herodotus450

Can’t even skate backwards, wolud not bang

LemonJello

Counterpoint:
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herodotus450

Poor balance, a troubling sign of inner ear problems, would only bang laying down.

LemonJello

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King Hippo
Gratliff
WCS

CLANGA

LemonJello

The score doesn’t reflect, but Misstate is taking LSU to the woodshed on both O and D lines.

King Hippo

quite impressive. Cowbells might be the side that tests Roll Damn Tide.

LemonJello

Just saw Roll Damn Tide up only by a TD – Saban’s going to sacrifice the last virgin in Alabama isn’t he?

Senor Weaselo

And it’s another accident by us (not on our block for once), so I get to reset the sign.

Spur

Lamar Jackson is from Florida. The Gators couldn’t recruit him?

herodotus450

Something has been rotten in the state of Gainesville since sometime in the Spurrier administration

Spur

Does OJ get to stay in the heisman house? i bet that place is filled with white women.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Only if he has a job and reports to his P.O. the 2nd Tuesday of every month.
Oh, and also doesn’t kill anyone.

LemonJello

So, no?

King Hippo

might be hard to get any Jewish waitstaff tho ,, no ofence

LemonJello

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King Hippo

Jesse Jackson is playing WR for the Cowbells!

herodotus450
Spur

Royce from Oregon is going to be a beast in the NFL.

WCS

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Spur

Makers Mark, my old friend…

WCS

I’ve come to drink of you again…

Spur

Go Texas!

King Hippo

upon further review…NO

Wakezilla

Greetings from the Lesser footy Liouns game. My tix were free. Ive had a ton of beer and now i get free food. Life is good

LemonJello

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ballsofsteelandfury

I would rob banks for this girl.

King Hippo

and so begins…a CAPER!

herodotus450

So is there a good late game?

WCS

Dabo. Dabo! DABO! vs. Papa John’s could be.

King Hippo

7-all in barren prison PAWWWWWLLLLL!!! land

Senor Weaselo

Lizard people.

scotchnaut

Can’t even anymore because.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO3FMPFFg9g

scotchnaut

BIG FOOT RULES!

LemonJello

Ook?

scotchnaut

Fine. Big Ook! rules.

/I’m done.
//Night, Taters!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sasquatch is my daddeh!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2WqYidC_0Y

herodotus450

You guys can have your Allie LaForce; I’ll wait until she’s a womanly Allison TheForce

herodotus450

Hmm, porbably needed a joke on the “force” part for that to be better

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Last night of vacation. Can’t decide if I’m going to miss Scandinavian beers or not.

LemonJello

What are they like?

WCS

You can taste the Østlandsk!

LemonJello

Is that Scandinavian for reindeer piss?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Generally lighter than expected. There are some good micros, and we’ve had better luck with Berliner weisse and wits than IPAs.

herodotus450

I’m offering a hip new cross-posting service where all your best comments get posted to BOTH open threads! Only $9.99 per month with a 6 year contract and auto bills every year after that! You’d be stupid NOT to sign up!

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus
LemonJello

Sure, pull up a seat.
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LemonJello

Enhance.
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WCS

“Can’t sleep, chair will eat me. Can’t sleep, chair will eat me…”

scotchnaut

I’m gonna make me a huge sang-gowich using ciabatta bread. See you in a bit.

LemonJello

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