Your “Drinking Turkey Like It’s Water” Saturday Evening Open Thread


So, NHL training camps opened this week. The important thing is that the return of hockey will bring me many national games to enjoy on the days between football games. There’s about three weeks of garbage hockey to get through before the Canucks can start letting me down for real. Luckily, a couple of them take place enough time zones away I won’t care.

The Kings & Canucks are going to China for a couple of games. The NHL is mandating that they take actual regular-season players, and not just kids they’re going to send down to Utica or Ontario (Cal.) once camps close. The Canucks are smart, though, and only taking one Sedin, because if they lose them both no one will be able to prata svenska to the rest of the power play once the season starts.

One thing I am looking forward to is anniversary beers. The Tampa Bay Lightning turn 25 this year, and to commemorate it they are having a special beer brewed for their home games (& hopefully for sale in local stores).

I’m sure Dave Andreychuk there has had more than a couple on the house, considering the ring he HELPED THE LIGHTNING STEAL from the Flames back in 2004.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Eskimos at Argonauts – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Lions at Stampeders – 10:00PM | TSN
  •  NCAA:
    • LSU at Mississippi State – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Colorado State at Alabama – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Clemson at Louisville – 8:00PM | ABC
    • Texas at Southern Cal – 8:30PM | FOX
    • San Jose State at Utah – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Ole Miss at Cal – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • UFC Fight Night:
    • Rockhold vs. Branch
      • Prelims – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Mains – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN2
  • Baseball:
    • Blue Jays at Twins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

I’m in Seattle tomorrow for the Seahawks home opener. Will there be stories? I HOPE SO!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
470 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
herodotus450

This seems like it’s gonna be a short overtime. USC scores, Texas has nothing left.

herodotus450

WRONG.

ballsofsteelandfury

NFL,

That’s what a full Coliseum looks like.

Spur

Needs more luxury boxes and big screens to distract the fans.

SonOfSpam

Hi guys (and girls?) – This is basically the only time I ever root for Texas. This feels dirty, but HOOK ‘EM HORNS. /shudders

herodotus450

There is a Cardinal named Jet Toner. It’s like his parents couldn’t decide between the image quality of inkjet and the speed and efficiency of laser.

SonOfSpam

First of all, that’s excellent work by you. Second of all, dammit I hate humanity some (most) days.

herodotus450

Or maybe they just really liked the mid-2000s band Jet?

SonOfSpam

Or John Travolta’s deceased kid?

Senor Weaselo
Brick Meathook

EXTRA INNINGS
comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t it supposed to be laces OUT?

King Hippo

YES

King Hippo

REALLY risky to let the blind guy hold there

herodotus450

Prevent defense strikes agaen

ballsofsteelandfury

– Hillary

– Blax

Spur

Overtime it is

ballsofsteelandfury

they should kick now

ballsofsteelandfury

That was close

King Hippo

they ought be thinking 6

King Hippo

nice throw

ballsofsteelandfury

All SC needs is 3. This game is far from over.

Spur

Their kicker is ass

WCS

Didn’t you go to Uk-lah? Shouldn’t you be happy?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m realistic.

Brick Meathook

OK USC, show us what a #4 team is made of. You have 45 seconds.

ballsofsteelandfury

it’s nice that Vince young is happy again.

King Hippo

wait until he gets that pesky shirt off

WCS

Texas wins this, he’s gonna drop another twenty grand at Cheesecake Factory.

Mr. Ayo

I see holding isn’t a thing anymore.

Spur

TEXAS OFFENSE DID A THING!!!

King Hippo

what a fucking catch

Spur

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

holy shit!

WCS

HOLE. E. SHEET.

Spur

This Game is FIRE!

King Hippo

He can make the hard as fuck throws, but not that routine toss.

WCS

What is: Every WVU quarterback since Marc Bulger? I’ll take College Sports for $800.

Spur

Herman said fuck it, we slinging it

King Hippo

smack off his head

Spur

Texas QB is going to die on that field.

King Hippo

Fucking ouch, dude

Spur

How will the Texas offense fuck this drive up? I’m going with fumbling the ball after a big pass play.

WCS

Fumbled snap on USC’s two yard line.

Mr. Ayo

Step one complete

Spur

USC going the wrong way

King Hippo

Blind kid is coordinating this week?

Brick Meathook

The price is dropping fast but still over $200 too much. I might go down to Carson, park free and walk, and offer $10 for a good seat take it or leave it.
comment image

King Hippo

Can you make a “Shitty Clippers” DFO T-shirt in time? We will cover your $10 if so!!

Spur

Texas D is spent.

WCS

Still playing the opposite of ungood, though.

King Hippo

Troi Boiz had it in FG range, tired D, called ZERO run plays. I have a great deal of trouble understanding that, and I am inebriated in multiple ways.

King Hippo

Maybe it’s not just a yuk-yuk, perhaps Darnold really DOES have Down’s. He sure ain’t no thinker out there.

Spur

they let that blind kld play………

King Hippo

it’s a veritable Special Olympiad!

Spur

A Game of Turnovers. Texas D are the Dothraki

Spur

Can the Texas defense play offense?

WCS

Holy fucking shit. That wasn’t a facemask.

herodotus450

Just a brutal clothesline to the neck

King Hippo

DERP returned

WCS

DARNOLDCEPTION II: THE MCCOUGHNYING

Senor Weaselo

He’s perfect for the Jets!

Spur

Darnold is buckling under pressure hard

King Hippo

Between him and Lamar! they can just maybe skip the Heisman this season.

Spur

Baker Mayfield

King Hippo

point taken but FLYOVER COUNTRY smh

Unsurprised

Hi

King Hippo

did you bring us some fair trade coffee and/or strippers??

Senor Weaselo

…What’s the difference between fair trade and regular strippers?

herodotus450

Tears.

King Hippo

experience in a shipping crate?

/I was gonna say “box” but that can mean two things

Spur

There’s a joke in here about Texas shooting themselves in the foot and responsible gun ownership.

King Hippo

THAT’S WHY WE GOT TO BUILD THAT THAR WALL!!

WCS

comment image

WCS

Touchbacks and snap counts are evidently things the Texas coaching staff doesn’t focus on.

King Hippo

tbf, not many of they starters can count all the way up to three, this ain’t Stanford or nuthin

Spur

what the hell was that Texas?

herodotus450

Kicker from some fucking Out West school is named John Baron II. Love his pizzas but did anyone tell him he can’t bring his Sopwith Camel on the field with hiM?

Spur

Please no more Ehlinger runs.

herodotus450

Doeis Texas not know the difference between punts and kickoffs? Second one in a row, ffs.

King Hippo

Field Awareness 101: Not taught at UT-Austin

Doktor Zymm

I DRINKY TURN LIGHTS OFF SLEEP NOW WOO!

Also, the best of night’s to you, fellow members of the Commentist party, I am off to slumber and trust you will have a fine remainder of the evening.

Senor Weaselo

Night Dok!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Whoa, SHIT.

ballsofsteelandfury

Of course it’s Russia.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could just as easily be the US. CC.

ballsofsteelandfury

nah, only Russian chicks have the balls to ignore him and keep going with the newscast.

Unsurprised

Americans would shit themselves.

Honestly, though, they have good reason. The last time I saw a video of a gun and an American reporter in the same frame, it did not end well for the reporter. Although I did say that everyone should watch that video to see just how easy it is to really just shoot someone. People don’t really get that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True; she held the mud.

But as you know; I was talking about the brandishing part.

King Hippo

The only thing that can stop a bad guy interrupting a newscast brandishing a gun is a good guy interrupting a newscast brandishing a gun. SECOND AMENDMENT suck on THAT, libtards!!111

Doktor Zymm

Alexa still showing her ignorance of my preferences. The speech recognition is impressive. The processing of the data afterwards, less so. But it’s all good. I don’t mind there being gaping holes in their data analysis. Don’t be afraid of your job being replaced by AI until I can say “play Carmen” without having to say “Play the opera Carmen” based off of the fact that I’ve never played anything but the opera and my preferences are extremely obvious

Senor Weaselo

Do you have to specify the aria/scene? Or that it’s Bizet?

Doktor Zymm

If you say Bizet, it know’s what’s up. Otherwise it’s just all Lana Del Rey, who I don’t even know who the fuck she is.

Doktor Zymm

Oof, why did I apostraphe what? It’s cool, I plead drunk.

WCS

Did it play this? Because how could you punish it for playing this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1EIUP8tvbE&ab_channel=ACMEMusicNet

Doktor Zymm

Yeah I would be cool with that

herodotus450

When I say “Play sticky fingered filcher” I get VASTLY different results.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, just gooclebinged “Alexa” and something different came up… I’ll keep researching.

Shogun Marcus

THESE CALLUSES ARE FOAR SCIENCE!