Your “It’s A Color Rush-Tastic!/ RAMMIT!” NFC West Showdown Open Thread

RAMS/49ERS:

That recently-displaced St. Louis football squad finally gets to leave the aloof and disinterested confines of whatever that stadium is that they now play in. The Empty Seat Convention (“this place is so roomy!”) that occurred the two previous Sundays wasn’t embarrassing for the league higher-ups at all, mostly because that is not an emotional response that they’re capable of. The Rams blew out the Colts and came within 7 of the ‘Dacteds so it would seem that the guy that looks like Gronk’s off-season wingman-HC Sean McVay(“I was born in ’86. Feel old yet?”)-has them pointed in a direction that isn’t rock bottom. This is a team that can be 7-9 this year and actually feel good about it. To his further credit he’s given up on Tavon Austin (16 snaps in two games) and rolled the dice on Sammy Watkins. The latter hasn’t done anything yet but as I said about Chris Hogan, it takes a bit of time to bleed the Buffalo from one’s system.  Qb Goff sports the league’s highest passer rating (146.8) on throws over 20 yards so he can throw the deep ball with precision. That’s a start.

The 0-2 Niners have yet to score a TD this year. Their game last week vs. Seattle was like Burning Man for somnambulists. Rb Hyde is doing his part by running at a 7 yard per carry clip and I figure he’s the one that finally crosses the goal line for San Fran this week. The RAMMIT D gave up 5.9 yards per run last week but Aaron Donald is rounding into shape so we’ll see how things develop. ‘Pedestrian’ describes qb Hoyer’s play and what he might look like in Donte Stallworth’s headlights.

Let’s make the best of this. If you’d like to weigh in on politics, comedy, Hot Ones, your 70’s porn star figurine collection or anything else afore the game you should give ‘er below.

 

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King Hippo

you can tell it’s a Tubby Wade defense, those fuckers SMELL BLOOD. 4 guys raking at the ball.

Redshirt

If you have to preface your comment with “Well, that’s not a bad throw…”, its a bad throw.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

SF’s new gameplan: Run on every play.

King Hippo

INEFFECTIVE HOLDING #1

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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And apparently the most trusted name in picking the wrong place to pick up a burrito for lunch.

Redshirt

Why don’t they just snap the ball to the running back? They can use the extra man as a blocker?

Senor Weaselo

Wildcats for some, miniature American flags for others!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rammit!!!!
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King Hippo

THAT’S TEH SPIRIT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I doubt they throw on this 3-and-out

Redshirt

Alright, if we get a 2nd pick here…

Redshirt

Colin Kaepernick just turned his TV off and is getting ready to take a walk around the neighborhood to clear his mind.

Gratliff

Pictured: Colin Kaepernick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxBXke6KvPA

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I wonder if Kaepernick’s neighbors can hear him laughing right now.

King Hippo

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!!

All night, all day, you just can’t stop!

King Hippo

SO…that tackle cost me 0.7 points. Better. 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This is the prelim for a razor commercial, right?

Gratliff

loooooooooooool

Col. Duke LaCross

It’s over.

WCS

BRYAN HOYER: STARTING NFL QUARTERBACK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

at least he LOVES HIS COUNTRY

Redshirt

…and we’re hitting the ground running!

King Hippo

FUCK!!!! That tackle cost me 10 points.

King Hippo

of course I am starting Goff and Gurley, so…

LemonJello

Welp we’re not wasting any fuckin’ time tonight, are we Hoyer?

King Hippo

BLACK POWER FIST ANTHEM!! Edgy!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’ll get shot in a random traffic stop now.

King Hippo

Kyle’s pink jacket is fucking with my TV’s contrast settings

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Guys, I need talked down from the ledge.

I’ve accepted that the Bengals suck and Green Bay’s gonna win. So, I’d be an idiot not to pick Green Bay in the Eliminator Pick.

However, the following thoughts keep festering in my dark and twisted mind:
– The Bengals are going to play their damnedest best to prove they were right to can the OC.
– The new OC has said that rather than over complicate things, they are going to simplify things so the players just have to play to their talents.
– Offense may have sucked, but the Defense has been pretty decent.
– The Head Coach has outright said that if they don’t perform, the next to go will be the players.
– Word from the locker room (re: sportwriters), say they’re going to return to the strategy that worked in 2015: Make Dalton comfortable and confident and throw the damned ball to AJ Green.
– The Bengals exist purely to screw me over, so of course they would win if I pick against them.

So please, will someone convince me to click Green Bay name and get it over with?!?!?!

LemonJello

GB is playing the shitty as fuck Bears. I rest my case.

Wait, that’s next week, isn’t it? I know nothing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Fuck Bears; different league.

litre_cola

Verry different style of porn as well.

King Hippo

Is it worth it to fuck yourself over to pick Cincy so your favourite team wins?

Cause with both tackles missing for GB, it won’t take that much for it to happen. I’m picking the Massholes.

litre_cola

I too am taking TAHMMY FROM FACKIN QUINZEEEE

Redshirt

Alright you sold me. Only because I think the Texans will be too confident and Patriots are still in F-U mode from Week 1.

litre_cola

Click Green Bay. Bears are a dumpster fire.

King Hippo

It is very much appreciate

herodotus450

As a non-land owner, I can’t/won’t afford nfl network, so I won’t be watching the game either!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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And we thank you for that since the pre shows SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

UCK.

King Hippo

With Baby Buster, 4 of my 9 starters are Waiver Wire, in Week 3. That seems emblematic of the poor choices I make in my life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

Can we haz MOAR shots of the 9ers cheerleaders?

LemonJello

These are the outfits:
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Beastmode Ate My Baby

So they have an Emma Peel thing going on.

litre_cola

Imma peel that off her…..

/sorry

LemonJello

I first thought Black Widow/Natasha Romanov, but Emma Peel is more better.

King Hippo

Mariucci doesn’t wanna RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!

TOO BAD

King Hippo

Temple/USF JV is as dire as one might expect.

herodotus450

Is south florida Thursday Night U now or somepin?

King Hippo

They lucky not to be assigned Tuesday MAC-tion

Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

Evening internetters. Shall we do this?

King Hippo

What choice have we? It is our appetizer. We must make room for the 4-course meal Sunday brings forth.

LemonJello

Fuck and Yes.
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Senor Weaselo

I guess?

Redshirt

Once more unto the breach, dear Internet Friends, once more!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

alright Commentists? I got Goff off waivers, should I start Baby Buster, or at least flip a coin about it?

LemonJello

Who do the Clots play this week?

litre_cola

Factory

King Hippo

OAK will score, which is why I initially put shitass cocksucking Cousins back in. WAS may be forced to throw. But he just sucks so bad.

Coin said Baby Buster.

LemonJello

As good a basis for a decision as any.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

/hypnotizing voice

You will lose to tWBS this weekend. You will put your whole team on waivers and run out nekkid at halftime.

Also, if I lose to you it’s because my fookin’ waiver claims ain’t coming in and I accidentally waived Kearse while very very high and drunk.

Allegedly.

King Hippo

Hee hee. Annoyed re my TE sitch.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You don’t need a TE. You got a tight KHunt coming out of the backfield vs nawt SD.

King Hippo

Yeah, that KHunt has been an answered prayer. Of course, I didn’t get him in the league that pays me moneys.

LemonJello

Oof.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Another fine workday.

King Hippo

BUT 2-0!!! They can NEVAR take that from us.

/Trip to Orchard Park is the mother of all trap games, though. I’d bet the farm on Buffalo. Just a turrrible matchup.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They’ll be fine. You are one of the most negative “fans” I know, especially since the situation is at worst neutral. They just womped a pretty good team. A really good team offensively they dominated; the Bills are a similar offense, but not nearly as good, they do have a better defense.

herodotus450

Unsourced factoid from Bobby’s wiki page:

Hoying was the leader of the Ohio State University Chapter of Creed Fans.

King Hippo

MAKES SENSE tOSU would have that.

/sorry Redshirt

herodotus450

Can’t find any other reference to such a thing anywhere. Maybe it’s meant to be fans of the “Chapter of Creed”, a really good chapter in some book.

Redshirt

No need. We deserve you teasing for that.

King Hippo

LBJ angry about lack of progress in Vietnam. He wants “to nail some coonskins to the wall” – he didn’t even say no ofence ,, smh Lyndon.

/at least didn’t take “Jumbo” out

King Hippo

chuh chuh

/that old fuck better hurry up and finish before he die

//bought Master of the Senate for my Dad as a Father’s Day present, he loved it, inherited when he died, then read all the others in short order because NEEEEERRRRRRDDDDDD

King Hippo

Seriously folks, READ that Caro series on LBJ. It is PERFECT biography, neither a hit job, nor a slurpfest, just a thorough (dear FUCK is it thorough) recital of the life of a VERY complex man and several detours down paths of others he came into close contact with.

Caro has basically dedicated his entire adult life to understanding and writing about one fucking dude. And I am super grateful of that, as it has – in a way – helped me to understand my father and his times better.

I will say that, for all their good and bad points, LBJ, Nixon, and Teddy Roosevelt are the most fascinating, complex individuals I have read about (in the 20th century). Can’t read enough about all three. All had fatal flaws and immense gifts.

Horatio Cornblower

Meh. I already know how it ends.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey! Hey!
LBJ!
How many kids
Did you kill today?

King Hippo

I already have the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! D/ST and Gurley, I could get Goff off waivers in 12 minutes. My other starting options are Brissett or fucking shit-ass cocksucking Cousins, so I could justifiably start 3 battlers FOAR LA! Out of 9 in a goddamned money league where I’m 2-0, even.

King Hippo

My Week 3 for has Doug Martin (suspended) and Randall Cobb (unlikely to play) in his lineup. Perhaps he has died and nobody has picked up on it yet. Oh well, 3-0 is 3-0!

herodotus450

Why do I want to keep calling him Bobby Hoyer? Was there a Bobby? Maybe Bobby Hoying?

King Hippo

there WAS a Bobby Hoying, tOSU methinks

herodotus450

And some time in the pros apparently
http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/nov-1997-bobby-hoying-of-the-philadelphia-eagles-in-action-during-a-picture-id300476
Didn’t have Eddie George to hand it to in philly though

litre_cola

Yep played for the Iggles for a bit.

King Hippo

Who here likes to….

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!??

LemonJello

When the kick-off comes along, You must RAMMIT!

litre_cola

Jim Rome was playing RAMMIT today and I was angry he stole our bit.

herodotus450

Wasn’t there a niners-jags thursday night tilt a few years ago that was long dreaded but actually turn out good?

King Hippo

INDEED. One never knows with teh Thursday Poo Grab Bag. So go in FIST DEEP.

LemonJello

“Fist deep? Well, I know what I’m watching tonight. Raptly.”
-You Know Who, Green Bay, WI

...

Color rush? More like color FLUSH, AMIRITE?

LemonJello

RAMMIT sporting the baby-shit yellow unis tonight.

WCS

An apt metaphor.

King Hippo

I mean they due seem 2 like that kinda thing yeh?

WCS

Peter King was on Yinzer sports yak earlier, and actually criticized the Giants’ offensive line, play-calling, and front office. SOMEONE’S GOING TO GET A CUP OF LUKEWARM LATTE NEXT TIME HE’S IN THE MEADOWLANDS.

LemonJello

Gramps Coughlin shit in the coffee urn again?

Or would that be a McAdoo-doo?

WCS

This game is the Thursday Night Football of Thursday Night Football.

Wakezilla

Hey tWBS:

Idea for tomorrow’s Sexy Friday:

Women with Maria as their first name. It’s very topical and you’d have a large abundance of Maria’s to choose from.

theeWeeBabySeamus

There are a lot of Maria’s now that you mention it.
Hmmmmmm…..

Wakezilla
Sharkbait

Rolling with the RAMMMIT D tonight. This will be the week Hoyer goes off. You watch.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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LemonJello

It’s really more of a failed implosion, a “fizzle” I believe is the correct term.

King Hippo

ME TOO

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, that might be the best banner image in EVAR.
Hehehehehehehe.

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