Your Thursday Night NFC Central Showdown Open Thread

Green Bay is playing their third game in twelve days. Bears fans are calling for the neck of Mike Glennon. Which of these teams will be able to hide their godawful flaws the most effectively? For the answer to this and many other questions one must go… TO THE GAME!

 

BEARS/PACKERS: Chicago stung the “Can’t Play Away From Home” Steelers with a 23-17 loss last week using the deadly combo of an atrocious passing game and an effective series of prayers to the almighty. Green Bay won an OT thriller over the Bengals using the arm of Rodgers and the leg of Crosby. Kudos to both for coming up with the unlikely Vic. Now for the not-so-good news. The Packers O-line is banged up something fierce-three backups are on I.R. and both Bakhtiari and (stifles giggle) Bulaga are listed as doubtful. (“Look at Rodgers run for his life!”) He’s been sacked 13 times already and has 4 turnovers. Ty Montgomery’s effort in the running game hasn’t worked out very well so far. His longest run from scrimmage has been eight yards but he is leading all rb’s in YAC. Chicago is also looking for a bit of balance on O but the trouble is in the passing end of things. The Giraffe is becoming known as Humpty Dumpdown and this is reflected in rb Howard leading the team in receiving yards last week with (Oof!) 26. The Bears rushing attack is ranked eighth thanks to the good work of Howard and Tarik “She Fed Me Tea And Oranges That Came All The Way From China” Cohen. (“Take that, Berman!”) The hope among the faithful is that Truth Biscuit will get the start after the bye week but his receiving corps will still consist of a “Who’s That?” lineup of Kendall Wright, Deonte Thompson and Zach/Dion Miller/Sims. That’s a shit-ton of not-talent right there. But hey, the winner of the game will break the 94-94-6 won/lost deadlock. The “They’ve played each other a few times over the years” chestnut should manifest itself as tinnitus by the end of the game.

 

Go get ’em, word-wranglers!

 

 

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Smithchez
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Smithchez

5-1 Run pass ratio? Leave it to Mike McCarthy to decide that the reason they barely beat the Bengals was TOO MUCH Aaron Rodgers.

Shogun Marcus
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That’s our Captain Bluebunny!

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

To be fair, given our o-line injuries, he might be trying to PRESERVE Aaron Rodgers so that he lasts the season.

WCS
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TACO THURSDAY ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

One elbow equals two knees.

Romonobyl
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You’ve obviously never played Twister.

Bogdanski
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Bogdanski

Hello, all. Go pack people.

Gratliff
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Alright, first time I’ve seen Tony Romo this year. What catastrophic injury does he suffer tonight?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Explosive decompression?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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We all need to come together as a nation.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

At first, I was offended by this picture, but then I thought:

“Why do I care, they’re ‘armless”

theeWeeBabySeamus
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We all need to come together as a nation.

Agreed. Lemme know when you’re close.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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I was done as soon as I saw that picture.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Hehehe

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross
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Best part of that show.

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Sort of looks like Eliza Coupe, but I’ll need confirmation before jerkin it.

Smithchez
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Smithchez

Evenin’, gents.

Horatio Cornblower
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Ma’am.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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What’s great is the NFL is so fundamentally dumb as an institution that it has no hope of addressing a meaningful political problem without fumbling around like Mike Glennon.

Gratliff
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Brave to use Tom Waits for the anthem

blaxabbath
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I like CHI’s color rush uniforms.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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You know, this whole anthem controversy would go away if we just stuck with instrumental anthems which are SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY TO THE VOCAL ONES.

Duchess
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Football players being out for the anthem is a new thing I don’t remember ever being out there for it during my playing years. We’d be in rocking out to rap or heavy metal getting pumped up for the game.

Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

Or changed to the anthem to Twist and Shout.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
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Or just skipped them entirely.

King Hippo
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I has teevee box muted, was some weirdo or weirdoes in stands unhingedly chanting at folk?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
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Regardless on your stance on kneeling or whatever, we can all objectively say this guy cannot sing.

Shogun Marcus
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Si. Es no bueno.

Redshirt
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Yeah. He’s okay, but not in public okay.

Romonobyl
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Whitney Houston he ain’t.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Lucky for him.
She all ded n stuff.

Redshirt
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If it was me, I would kneel in prayer and watch as Conservative’s heads everyone explode.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Stabby Ray?

WCS
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DEM LIBTARDS DUN RUN TEBOW OUTTA THE LEEGUE CUZZA THAT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
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PRAYER IS SO DISRESPECTFUL PPL FORGET THAT

Doktor Zymm
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GAWD said you should all buy me a shot

Gratliff
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FFS, all of this. FFS. We’ve somehow made this about which QB gives the better message of unity.

Romonobyl
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I wonder if Gruden ever called Edelman “shifty”?

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Good evening, assdicks.
What’s shakin’?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Michael J. Fox, probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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$2??? Hell, that’s a bargain at any price.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Gott im himmel!

Gratliff
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I agree with whatever it is they’re saying

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Trying to watch this via Amazon Prime, and there’s no sound. Is that a blessing or a curse?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND JIM NANTZ

Shogun Marcus
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I’M NOT YOUR BUDDY EITHER GUY

WCS
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I’M NOT YOUR GUY, FRIEND

LemonJello
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LemonJello

WE’RE NOT YOUR GUY, PAL

Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

Phrasing

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt
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Judging by all the picks in the Suicide Pool, we’re about to learn very quickly if Week 4 will be as painfully unforgiving as Week 3.

Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

There is a chick at the other end of the bar who’s talking really loud to some guy about how Direct TV ripped her off. Not sure of all of the salient facts but It’s kind of entertaining, the more the both of us drink.

Doktor Zymm
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Direct tv rips everyone off, she is undoubtedly correct

Brocky
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START THE FUCKING GAME ALREADY!

Shogun Marcus
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Right?! I mean deon AND irvin? What is this, Gitmo?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Mooch’s hair looks like he got caught in a Goodellbot fire and someone sprayed the whole fire extinguisher on him

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Was it the fire extinguisher filled with bacon grease?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

I’m now convinced that Cowher is really a velociraptor in a man suit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff
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Redshirt
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Brocky
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Don’t know if I posted this from last year, but I found it hilarious:

A Packers fan from Slinger had to celebrate the team’s win over Houston in jail Sunday after deputies say he stiffed a cab driver nearly $500 for a ride home after the man got drunk, lost his cellphone and couldn’t find his friends at Lambeau Field.

He also apparently forgot that walking in fresh snow leaves tracks.
Nathan Tyler Meleski, 24, convinced a Yellow Cab driver to take him all the way to Richfield — 111 miles — on a promise to pay on arrival, according to the Washington County Sheriff’s Office.
The cabbie drove from Lambeau to the Richfield Truck Stop, located west of Interstate 41 at Holy Hill Road, the office said.
The passenger told him to wait while he used an ATM inside so he could cover the $475.60 fare. Instead, the Sheriff’s Office says, Meleski slipped out the back of the business and left the 59-year-old cabbie without paying.
The cabbie called police, who noticed that the man had left a telltale trail of footprints in the snow.
Deputies found him at Fat Charlie’s, a downtown Richfield bar.
Meleski told deputies he’d been at the Packers game, got drunk and became separated from his friends. He said he had lost his cellphone and was unable to get help.
Meleski’s next ride was free — in a patrol car, to the Washington County Jail, where he was arrested and booked on a charge of defrauding a taxicab operator, a misdemeanor, and released. He had not been formally charged as of noon Monday. A conviction on the charge brings a maximum penalty of nine months in jail and a $10,000 fine.
The owner of Yellow Cab Green Bay, who would identify himself only as Rod, said the company’s driver should have required advance payment for any ride outside the city.

Brocky
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Dolph Ucker
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Dolph Ucker

On the road again. Willits, CA. Second beer just got here, time to see who’s kneeling, who’s standing and who’s scratching their asses. And then I think there’s a game.

WCS
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I’m scratching my crotch, does that count?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Are you doing it seductively? Then yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
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Damn, now I wanna go to Dunkin donuts

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I’m taking off and forgoing $8 wifi to focus on free tv for football. When I land, I assume the Bears will be down by 3+ touchdowns. 🐻⬇️

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt
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How long is your flight?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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30 minutes

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I keed, I keed. I think 3.5 hours, so I should be through most of my drink coupons by the third quarter

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oooh, look at Mr Fancy with his drink coupons.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Southwest’s the best about that. Fly a bunch in a row? They mail you some drink coupons. Don’t fly with them for a few months? They mail you some “we miss you, have a drink on us” drink coupons. If I weren’t tantalizingly close to gold on United this year, I’d almost never fly them anymore. Which is how they get you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt
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I want a team to kneel down with a 53-player long banner that reads,

“WE NOT DISREPECTING THE FLAG! WE LOVE THIS FLAG AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR! WE’RE KNEELING BECAUSE A MINORITY IS BEING KILLED BY CORRECT COPS! IN ADDITION, WE’RE OFFENDED THAT AN INSECURE SHALLOW MAN FEELS LIKE HE NEEDS TO HIJACK OUR PROTEST BECAUSE HE’S AN APPLAUSE WHORE AND HE’S GETTING THE SHAKES BECAUSE HE MESSES UP EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES LIKE CHARLIE BROWN AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN THE HOLIDAY CLASSIC “A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS”, BUT WE’RE GETTING OFF TRACK HERE. AMERICA YAY! CORRUPT COPS BOO! TRUMP SHUT UP AND CLOSE YOUR DAMN TWITTER APP!”

Senor Weaselo
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Hey, whoa whoa, people actually like Charlie Brown!

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Fans’ reaction:
tl:dr
“GIT OFF YER KNEES AND JUS’ PLAY FITBAW, YA DAD-GUMMED LIBRUL CUCKS!!11!1eleven!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Good evening.

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Gratliff
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My favorite part of this one is how he’s supposedly going after them for being whiny SJW types, and he just randomly lumps in concussions like “Oh, poor wittle snowflakes can’t handle a little massive brain trauma”

Gratliff
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Ben Garrison is clearly the artist most likely to be masturbating with a homemade teddy bear while drawing.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I was seriously worried when I saw this that it was done by Joe Heller, who has always seemed like a good guy to me (plus he’s Green Bay native). I was immensely relieved to see that it was just some alt-right incel.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Ben Garrison is my favorite right wing cartoonist because unlike most of them he actually has talent, manages to be almost exactly The Onion’s spoof of a right wing cartoonist, and because people were doctoring his cartoons into blatantly anti-Semitic shit and you couldn’t tell which was the original.

Gratliff
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Best round of Tag Yourself yet.

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I suppose if you’re going to read alt-right comics, it’s better than they be done by someone with some talent.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Exactly! I like my insane morons to be talented!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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Welcome to the Dumbest Timeline.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
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I split the baby and took GB in my $$ league Survivor, KC to scalp Redacteds (no ofence) in DFO league.

Starting Davante Adams, but giving him mad stinkeye.

Nice battle between Aaron “I totes like girls!” Rodgers and Mike “I totes scare girls!” Glennon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Disney’s Hall of Presidents has really changed since my last visit.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

It’s no wonder Glennon isn’t successful with the girls. Everyone knows Geraffes are stupid.

Shogun Marcus
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Over/Under odds for tonight:
Arrests 6.5
Ejections 19.5

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Bears WR combined yards: 99

King Hippo
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#BlindOptimist

Redshirt
Member

Have you ever had a day at work where you just stop, sit down, take a deep few breaths, and consider committing a felony?

Petronel
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Petronel

A felony? As in, just one? No.

Multiple, yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The lady on the bus thought it was a felony, but I didn’t touch anyone.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Fess up, are you not counting yourself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Busted.

Her service dog actually wanted to leave with me.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Felony? Pffft. I’ve had days of “It’s not a war crime if I do it to my own Marines, right?”

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Not like what you’re suggesting, but I’ve had to remind myself that, as fun as it would be, stealing chemicals to see if I can synthesize explosives at home (not to blow anything up, just to see if I could) would be a bad idea.

Shogun Marcus
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All of them. Or “maybe I should try crack.”

Brocky
Member

All I gotta say about tonight, is this

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

To be honest, I’ll feel a small sense of satisfaction, but when the rivalry’s been going on this long, the all-time record isn’t as important as what’s happened recently (within the past 20 years).

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I have a hunch you’ll have more to say

Brocky
Member
BrettFavresColonoscopy
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At the Denver airport and I’ve already seen one bears jersey. The wearer looks like he had to get permission from his PO to fly

Wakezilla
Member

I think the interesting talking point that commentators will bludgeon us with tonight, is the odd fact that Green Bay hasn’t been over .500 against the Bears since freaking prohibition. Get ready for gas prices, presidents, movies that won the Oscars, Jim Crow laws and facts about how old Lombardi was!

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

To tell you guys the truth, I really don’t notice the difference between different NFL announcers unless they’re really bad. I like listening to the Packers’ announcers when I can because, as you’d expect, they know a lot more about the packers than the talking heads. The network announcers just all seem to blend together into one vanilla, generic blur.

King Hippo
Member

Now that Pheeeeeel is gone, obvs

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Wooooooooooooooooooo
Until today I thought Boltman was an official Chargers mascot and didn’t get the hype

Redshirt
Member

He should be like Youppi! from the Montreal Expos or the Baltimore Colts Marching Band when the Colts hightailed it down I-70. A hopeless mascot seeks a team to call home.

I would invite Boltman to join the Cincinnati Bengals fanbase, but I have a feeling he may skin Who Dey on the field. Maybe the Cincinnati Reds. They need a spark and maybe he’ll kill Gapper.

Gratliff
Member

Same, he’s a thousand times more terrifying now

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Given the dispute between him and the Chargers, it makes a decent starting scenario for a horror movie where he goes on a rampage

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
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MANY MOONS AGO, BOLTMAN SERVED AS THE OFFICIAL MASCOT TO THE CHAAARRRGGGEEEDDDD ONES! IT WAS A GREAT HONOR FOR BOLTMAN TO ROAM THE SIDELINES FREELY, FEASTING UPON THE SOULS OF ANY HERETIC PLAYER OR UNINITIATED FAN THAT WANDERED UPON HIS LAIR! [Holds hands in front of mouth and motions as if eating corn] BUT THE DREADED SPANOS CLAN ENDED BOLTMAN’S CONTRACT, LIKE SO MANY OTHER PLAYERS OF LEGEND! [Pounds fist into palm a few times] BOLTMAN WILL MAKE THE HEATHENS PAY FOR THEIR TRANSGRESSIONS AND BRING ETERNAL SUFFERING UPON ANY MORTAL THAT DARES TO HINDER THE IMPENDING ORGY OF BLOOD! OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!

LemonJello
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LemonJello

/STOMP STOMP CLAPS in supplication

//T-shirt cannon fires severed limbs into the upper deck

the Alpha and the Amoeba
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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I like where you’re going, but if you’d accept one suggestion, I’d change it to:

EVERYTHING CHANGES WHEN THE SPANOS NATION ATTACKED.

Brocky
Member

Rampage?

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