Your Thursday Night NFC Central Showdown Open Thread

Green Bay is playing their third game in twelve days. Bears fans are calling for the neck of Mike Glennon. Which of these teams will be able to hide their godawful flaws the most effectively? For the answer to this and many other questions one must go… TO THE GAME!

 

BEARS/PACKERS: Chicago stung the “Can’t Play Away From Home” Steelers with a 23-17 loss last week using the deadly combo of an atrocious passing game and an effective series of prayers to the almighty. Green Bay won an OT thriller over the Bengals using the arm of Rodgers and the leg of Crosby. Kudos to both for coming up with the unlikely Vic. Now for the not-so-good news. The Packers O-line is banged up something fierce-three backups are on I.R. and both Bakhtiari and (stifles giggle) Bulaga are listed as doubtful. (“Look at Rodgers run for his life!”) He’s been sacked 13 times already and has 4 turnovers. Ty Montgomery’s effort in the running game hasn’t worked out very well so far. His longest run from scrimmage has been eight yards but he is leading all rb’s in YAC. Chicago is also looking for a bit of balance on O but the trouble is in the passing end of things. The Giraffe is becoming known as Humpty Dumpdown and this is reflected in rb Howard leading the team in receiving yards last week with (Oof!) 26. The Bears rushing attack is ranked eighth thanks to the good work of Howard and Tarik “She Fed Me Tea And Oranges That Came All The Way From China” Cohen. (“Take that, Berman!”) The hope among the faithful is that Truth Biscuit will get the start after the bye week but his receiving corps will still consist of a “Who’s That?” lineup of Kendall Wright, Deonte Thompson and Zach/Dion Miller/Sims. That’s a shit-ton of not-talent right there. But hey, the winner of the game will break the 94-94-6 won/lost deadlock. The “They’ve played each other a few times over the years” chestnut should manifest itself as tinnitus by the end of the game.

 

Go get ’em, word-wranglers!

 

 

 

 

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Doktor Zymm

It’s so much harder to justify this when most people don’t die a brutal death before hitting 50. Maybe that’s why Anti-vaxx

Unsurprised

More people in this stupid country need to die.

Doktor Zymm

As long as I don’t work in life insurance, I will reluctantly agree

Unsurprised

They’ll figure out a way to be fine. They always do. Rat fucks.

Romonobyl

Spoiler
I read a book by Dan Brown where a biologist releases a virus that is designed to make about 1/3 of the Earth’s population sterile. Interesting concept.

Romonobyl

In the unlikely event anyone is reading this book. Pretty good story.

Doktor Zymm

GIve zero shits about spoilers. Which third? Or random?

Romonobyl

Random. To thin the herd evenly, so to speak.

Unsurprised

“Random.” I bet.

Doktor Zymm

Hell, I pay good money to be sterile, it would be handy to know if I didn’t have to bother

Unsurprised

I hate old people, not the kids. I mean, I hate kids, but I hate old people way more.

Doktor Zymm

Typical millennial, smgdh,…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ancient Egyptian statue of the god Osiris

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Romonobyl

RIP Hugh.

Senor Weaselo

I look forward to Agent Orange saying it’s karmic punishment for players protesting.

Brick Meathook

I’m watching this game on Amazon on a Roku and I’m starting to suspect that I’m 30 seconds behind all these komments.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Oh shit looks like a lightning delay coming up.

synapticmisfires

I LOLed.

Doktor Zymm

No way he remembers that thumbs up in the future. Goddamn 🙁

WCS

There’s no way he remembers this game in the future.

Senor Weaselo

“I ran for 100 yards in this game!” -Trent Green

Brick Meathook

HE DEAD

Doktor Zymm

Honestly, it’s not a hard solution, but the easiest solution is to have helmets that are disposable every play and that would be more expensive than fucking killing people. FUCK

Col. Duke LaCross

That was fucking stupid. In a game full of stupid things going on, on a team making stupid mistake after stupid mistake full of stupid idiots, Trevathan launching himself like a missile might’ve taken the cake.

That’s friggin’ assault.

synapticmisfires

So…that was definitely not a safe football play. Shame on Treviathan.

I actually didn’t know that the NFL had a rule for helmet-to-helmet on a runner.

...

Good to know my team is shitty but also dirty and detestable.

Wooo…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Christ, there’s a lot of smart people out there who would love to design a better fucking helmet. LET US.

Spur

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Sharkbait

Fuck that guy.

Horatio Cornblower

I think his main problem is that no woman will.

Gratliff

His website is literally called Grrr Graphics

Dick E. Phuck

Grr baby, very grr.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d buy a Virtue Signalers jersey.

Spur

I want the Cleveland Reds

Dick E. Phuck

Antifa flag sold separately.

Dick E. Phuck

I especially like the Denver virtue signalers one. Like, what is bad about virtue signaling in general.

Unsurprised

The virtues.

Sharkbait

Or the Carolina Concussions after what we just witnessed.

Dick E. Phuck

“Leftist pussies can’t handle a little concussion!? What has this cuntry become!?”

Unsurprised

They honestly couldn’t care less. That’s why these guys are paid millions, after all.

/Shoots self

Beerguyrob

They never gave a shit when Tebow was their God.

Oh, wait…

Unsurprised

Right-wingers are the biggest bunch of crybaby, tantrum-throwing snowflakes in the world, demanding that everyone conform to their own whims or else they run away to their safe spaces like Fox News and Facebook circlejerks.

Horatio Cornblower

That is going to be one hell of a suspension.

And indictment for assault/attempted murder etc.

Spur

that was brutal but why was it a flag? he was a runner

Horatio Cornblower

He aimed his helmet right at the other guy’s head. Even Vontaze Burfict thinks that was out of line.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

yeah, you can’t lead with the crown of the helmet at any time, plus he was being held up which makes him defenseless again (I think)

hippofant

Might have been a launch too. Not allowed to do that either.

King Hippo

that’s just revolting

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Imagine a world where social media hasn’t been discovered yet. I want to go back there.

Senor Weaselo

…FOR PORN!

Sharkbait

That should be electable.

...

Jesus.

King Hippo

YIKES

litre_cola

Holy fuck, he no moving.

Doktor Zymm

Goddammit, don’t actually hurt people, those dickheads

Horatio Cornblower

OK, that guy’s dead.

WCS

Adams was just murdered.

Col. Duke LaCross

Adams ded.

Sharkbait

He ded.

Doktor Zymm

I’m glad it’s only the 3rd quarter and I get to see GB kick some ass #Humble #HahaNotReallyFuckEmAll

Spur

A Flag on the CHEESE!??!!

King Hippo

Davante Adams is a real good blocker. Wish I got points for that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In particular he’s really good at blocking the ball from flying past him using his hands.

Brick Meathook

Last week their kicker was a sheep herder in Albania…

Spur

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Unsurprised

That’s … not … how … play …………….. What are we doing again?

synapticmisfires

I know everyone thinks the refs have it in for their team, but seriously wtf is happening tonight?

I also know that it makes no difference and that the Bears are going 2-14.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Never attribute something to malice, which is easily explained by incompetence.

Spur

How many Zebras has Rodgers sucked off in his career? At least 4 tonight.

Sharkbait

I believe that makes it a Refkakke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fabulous hate!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Counting the glory hole ones that he didn’t know were officials until later?

Romonobyl

“A zebra?? How could you???”
– John Elway

Shogun Marcus

Jungle fever?

Sharkbait

Go for it!!

Col. Duke LaCross

And now we have the typical officiating shenanigans that always come up at Lambeau.

For chrissakes, they don’t need the help!

Spur

Bullshit spot

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bullshit can stain if you don’t soak it right away.

Sharkbait

Generous spot is generous

Sharkbait

Broken ribs are the WORST

King Hippo

“No, OUT OF ribs” – Andy Reid

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Sharkbait

Praying to BLEERGH to prevent another lightning delay?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

America in a nutshell

Unsurprised

America is sucking off the Nazis.

Spur

Every call for the Packers. FUCK THEM

Dick E. Phuck

The Chicago Bears: Finding new ways to derp all over a football field

Brick Meathook

I’ve never understood the whole “WE NO LONGER SUCK” advertising philosophy.

Doktor Zymm

It was domino’s pizza what pioneered it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Especially in the porn industry.

Sharkbait

Ohhh Sassy Tony Romo

...

*tents his pants*

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

OOK OOK

Horatio Cornblower

I hope Eve asks for a raise.

Spur

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Unsurprised

Mmmm, Yanet

Doktor Zymm

I see that and I see an impractical garment that means you have to undress just to pee, but on the plus side for you guys, she’s totally undressing every time she has some water!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Talks too fast. 2/10, would not….

Wait…water you say?

Romonobyl

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synapticmisfires

Fuck Connor Barth for making McCarthy look smart.

Col. Duke LaCross

Did anybody honestly think he was going to make that field goal?

...

BARTH!

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