Whelp, it’s really frickin’ early again so we must be back here in The Merry Olde. Today we’ve got two, shall we say, “uneven” teams going at it. After two humbling losses the Saints walked into Carolina and gave the Panthers a 34-13 gut-punch. How did that happen? Also in “what happened?” news, last week the Dolphins took a 20-6 loss to the Jetskis right on the chin. How will this tilt shake out? Damned if I know but we must go…TO THE GAME!
NEW ORLEANS/MIAMI: (9:30 am, even earlier in other spots of the U.S.)
Cutler shat the litter box last week and was then rewarded by being thrown into a small wire and plastic enclosure. He did get to know the team’s luggage during the trip overseas but that can’t be viewed as a positive by him. Plus-NO SMOKES! I can see his tail twitching right now. His counterpart has for the first time in his career gone three straight games without throwing an interception. As always with the Saints these days it’s a matter of how much he can do to compensate for the below-average play of his D. (*snickers*) New Orleans is giving up an average of 311 yards through the air and 438 total per game. So this should be a slam dunk for Miami, right. Not so fast, bumpkin. The Fins secondary is allowing opposing qb’s a mind-blowing 79% completion rate to this point in the season. Wow. Also, Oof! So it would appear that we’ve got a high-scoring affair on our sticky hands. I like scoring!
Gimmee what you got down below. And if you’re lurking, stop by and say hello-you never visit anymore!
Well, watching ‘murican football in The Kingdom does have it’s advantages. You never have to worry about your beer getting warm.
Cutler looked very Glennon-esque on that scramble, but then he completed the pass so I knew better.
Ball-hawking center-fielder type of safety.
DRINK
“This safety plays just like a safety. It’s incredible!”
I will never in my life tune in to that Skip Bayless garbage, but I live for the clip of Shannon calling him on his bullshit
Hoo boy. Just took a casual glance at the responses to his political tweets and the man deserves a medal for not hunting down every one of those motherfuckers.
Nothing says futility better than a trash time injury.
my other pill-based sleeper? Humps beat SeaTruthers tonight.
I’ll be glad when this exhibition game is over so we can start the main event.
This is the first London game I can remember ever watching (key word: remember). I kind of feel sorry for that London crowd; oh well maybe they have their own fun in the stands (riots, hooliganism, whatever the hell it is they do over there)
Come on garbage-time Parker TD!
I apologize for starting Cutler in FF.
I thought we were internet friends, but now I know you just hate me. :'(
not as much as I hate myself.
Don’t worry, we all hate ya too.
Speaking of martinis, I once watched an above-average mixologist throw one together for Dame Nobyl. He started with a small amount of vermouth in the glass, swirled it around until it mostly evaporated, then built the rest of the drink in a shaker with ice before adding to the vermouth dregs.
Not a martini guy myself, but she approved.
Kamara you beautiful motherfucker you.
HE GOOD
You have to think the Dolphins would have signed a better QB.
they found a cat who smokes, do better than that YOU CAN’T!!
just don’t let Ingram score, ya cunts
I’m thinking the next game has to be better, but then I remember they’re showing Ravens – Steelers in LA. It’s going to be another 4 hours of the same shit.
but GRITTIER
But now 50% less stabby.
“This game could get ugly rather quickly…” says the announcer in a game that is 13-0 halfway through the fourth quarter.
Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think Jay Cutler doesn’t have much concern about this game.
He just cant wait for duty free Euro smokes.
“Gimme a pack of Players. Meow.”
Yellow card on Miami FC.
lucky not a sending off, mind
They should red card everyone on the field
She REALLY likes cunnilingus.
In the booth:
Fish?
Mammal. Whatever. Let’s get the fuck out of here and go to a Brit strip club.
THIS GUY JAY CUTLER I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY NOTWITHSTANDING SOME OF HIS FANS STILL BELIEVE THAT HE CARES.
HISSSSSSS
Also, pretty sure Trump will become an anti-vaxxer once he discovers that inner cities not vaccinating would be scored of black deaths.
Is the field wet? Was that why Cutler didnt jump on the fumble.?
Nah, Suh just pointed out that the ball was just vaccinated XD
You want all those guys jumping on YOU?
No sane man would want that, but what about a pile on by the cheerleaders,though….?
Cam approves of that effort by Jay Cutler.
Holy crap! Someone scored!
Desperation RB2 play – Jamaal Charles or Andre Ellington? PPR
Charles. Don’t touch Ellington.
Actually I could use an egg sandwich and a shower now that I think about it.
Later today I’m making chicken Alfredo with pancetta and mushrooms.
What’s on your game day menu?
Cereal for the first time in over a year.
Do you have a #LuckyCharmsAddiction?
like cream of wheat or Cap’n Crunch?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch…fucking breakfast crack man. They should call it Cinnamon Toast Crunk.
Grilled chicken, squash, and zucchini fajitas.
Or Domino’s if/when I get exceptionally lazy.
Might stop by the fish market on the way home and get some shrimp or scallops
I originally was going to have shrimp Alfredo but I wasn’t impressed by the selection at the store.
Hence, chicken Alfredo.
Cape Cod chips ‘n’ vicuprofen
I actually made a pretty quality beef bone broth this week. I want to use it as a base for something.
Dude! Slow braise some short ribs with your broth, some red wine, a mire poix and some garlic. 325 oven for 3-4 hours.
Serve over polenta or garlic mashed potatoes.
Boom.
……
…..
…
The wife has us low-carbin’….
forget the polenta and the potatoes and just eat the short ribs directly out of the cooking vessel using a large wooden spoon.
I like your style. I am looking up such recipes as we speak.
Throw a carrot or two in there so you can fool yourself into healthy eating. Been working terribly for me thus far.
Pasta aglio e olio because I want to be fat AND have garlic breath, and by god I’m gonna enjoy it.
Thinking about my famous meatloaf and garlic mashed potatoes. Nothing anyone here would like.
Is the weather cool enough to turn the oven on there? If so that sounds incredible.
Not really, but if I’m going to pay a fortune for electricity, i might as well get something out of it.
Sativa and homemade sausage nachos. Then whatever is left in the fridge.
Coffee, eggs, toast and…football?
I wish I had the shit to make Mimosas.
My recipe for Mimosas doesn’t require shit. Martinis on the other hand…
/that’s why I hate martinis
you should hate them b/c POORLY MADE GIN AND TONIC
Tonic upsets my oh-so delicate belly. Sorry, no can do.
Anyone else started their Halloween post yet?
Oh shit.
Does Kiko Alonso get smaller and smaller every year?
Good morning DFO! It’s a cool 67 degrees with a dense marine layer here on the Left Coast and from the sound of it there’s no good reason to get out of bed for this one.
SHUT UP AND MAKE US SOME KIMCHI EGGS!
ON IT!
Oh good, Lucifer is back.
What’s with the siren in London? Are the Germans attacking?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1M730cYkic
They’ve been following the game. It’s a mercy Blitz.
It’s a metric firework.
Yeah, ball hit Ingram square in the hands but I guess that drop is BREES’ fault?
RedZone fantasy show trying to talk me into starting DeShaun/DeAndre combo (over Goff and Tyreek, whom I would have to bench, I have a Manny Sanders hunch and won’t bench him).
THOUGHTS??
I dunno. Everyone here seems to think #ThePaulsO is sturdy enough that CIN D is not to be trusted.
Not Litre!
/you all should now start all Pauls offense.
you have to remember that I am high a lot, but I DO have a feeling that #ThePauls break out an win today. Using Duke Johnson, and he’s a monster
You are high alot?
also, I streamed CIN D/ST at home v. HOU on a short week, and they fucked me over
I actually just set my final lineup, and I know I’ll regret it…
But yes, I did just bench the Den D for the Cin D.
Dont trust DeShaun
This game is just awful
Ba ba booie!!!!
(I’m not even fully awake yet, yesterday kicked my ass)
((and my liver’s ass if it had one))
Details requested.
I drank a lot last night, more or less. Nothing really juicy, I’m afraid.
Why aren’t racists taking on Skip and Shannon? Shows like that are the InfoWars of the NFL.
Tess and Jennifer: funerary strippers.
Dolphins look good.
Ted Ginn Jr has great hands.
Jimmy Graham was a fencer in University
I bet Sean Payton tries to leave Peterson behind.
whew, fading Mark Ingram
When does OJ start tweeting?
I assume Trump will want to keep the public current when the Juice takes over the DOJ.
Nah, since he’s allegedly good with knives, he’ll probably be the new Secretary of Health?
Also pretty offensive that the nfl sent New Orleans over to London, it’s like saying, “Ha, we took over more french territory than you guys and we didn’t even have to fight for a hundred years to do it.”
To be fair, its a lot easier when you pay for it.
Usually a hell lot sexier when you pay for it, too
I WOULDNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT
1 Michael Thomasdown please.
Therego
Suh is going to stomp Ed Hochuli.
Moring.
GO FOR IT!
KOEMAN OUT FFS
So, I take it there was no last-second equalizer? … Btw, be careful what you wish for, ’cause Koeman just might get replaced by dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuun Moyes!
NOPE. Moyes would be better than the three separate Fat Sam shouts on the match thread. All of which received “FUCK OFF” replies, but still…
Eh, Moyes isn’t that good,mate… Big Sam’s not an option either (because you lot are better than this!)… Perhaps Ancellotti? Or better yet – Gerrard? You may not get any better, but the other half of Liverpool would die outta sheer shock 😀
Hippo I swear to all things holy we are friends off if they take our Serbian dreamboat.
Fantasy D’s: CIN at Browns or PIT at Ravens?
PIT. Fear #ThePauls!!
PIT. Ravens O has been struggling.
I wasn’t sure how much of that was just London madness. Think they’re still out of sorts? I mean, #ThePauls!
Heh, one of the dogs came in the living room, sniffed at the TV and disgustedly left again…
Smart dog