Your “Stylin’ & Profilin'” Monday Night Football & Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • The pressure must have gotten to John Fox – it’s Truth Biscuit time in Chicago!
    • His first game will be next Monday night versus the Vikings.
  • With the Falcons bye week approaching, it appears Julio Jones – owner & wearer of the high flyin’ cleats in the banner photo – will not miss any time due to injury.
    • He hurt a hip flexor in the loss to Buffalo.
  • Based on stats through the first four games, Tom Brady is on track to be sacked 52 times this year.
    • To date, he’s been dropped 13 times. He was sacked for loss 15 times in all of the 2016 regular season.
  • The Seahawks got beat-the-hell-up last night in their victory over the Colts:
    • Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
      • HOW THE FUCK DID HE FINISH THE GAME?!
    • RB Chris Carson: Broken leg, below the knee
      • Done for the season
    • DE Cliff Avril: Pinched nerve; day-to-day
      • He lost feeling in his fingertips after an accidental kick to the head.
    • CB Jeremy Lane: Strained groin.
      • Day-to-day
  • As expected, Eagles fans took over the StubHub Center and turned an away game into home-field advantage. This Deadspin link has full audio of the debacle Eagles OT Jason Peters said “was like a home game”.

Finally, unrelated to football, it’s been a bad day for music fans. The 58 people killed at the Jason Aldean show in Las Vegas by a domestic terrorist, and news that Tom Petty is on life-support dead, have made for a very sad Monday.

I saw Tom Petty live once. It was the “True Confessions” tour with Bob Dylan in 1986.

    

It was pretty good. Each played 45 minutes on their own, and then combined for the final 30 minutes of the show. I owned that shirt for years; it eventually wore out.


Game Preview: Chiefs at Redskins

Tonight, two of the sports world’s finest ethnic slurs face off in Washington as the Kansas City Chiefs, owned by non-affiliated Christian & white male Clark Hunt, take on a Washington team owned by Jewish businessman & white male Dan Snyder.

Hunt, who lettered in soccer at Southern Methodist University in 1987, and therefore did not have any hand in the alleged murder of five hookers while Craig James definitely attended SMU between 1979-82, majored in business, worked at Goldman Sachs and was named head of Hunt Sports Group LLC when his father Lamar died. He shares ownership with his three siblings. He was influential in getting his father to back the creation of Major League Soccer, something that validated the league in its early days of operation.

Dan Snyder, a petty little man who has a tendency to sue any organization that writes untruthful things, is a businessman notorious for attempting to squeeze every penny out of the organizations he owns or belongs to as well as monetizing the fan base. I refer you to Dave McKenna’s piece from the Washington City Paper for more details. Snyder attempted to sue the paper & author for defamation, but the suit was withdrawn in the face of a SLAPP motion by the defendants. Currently surrounded by yes-men, he presides over a team that hasn’t done anything meaningful in the NFL since Joe Gibbs first discovered car racing.

The game itself should be a spirited affair, as Kansas City are the only remaining unbeaten team and Washington wants to keep pace with the Eagles & stay one game ahead of the Cowboys. Alex Smith is doing a commendable job holding back the tide wanting high draft pick Patrick Mahomes to come in & take the reins. Now that they have settled on a pronunciation, Washington is enjoying another Kirk Cousins franchise-tag year, as their recent devastation of the Raiders proved. They both have solid receiving corps, and while Washington has the advantage in the safety/corner department, they won’t be able to do much without being able to stop KC’s Kareem Hunt, who is the prime reason Alex Smith looks as good as he does.

It’s either going to be a 42-38 barnburner or a 7-6 slog. Gun to my head, I’d take the Chiefs.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
      • en español en ESPN2
  • WWE
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Baseball playoffs start tomorrow with the AL play-in game, followed by the NL game & NHL home openers Wednesday. WE’RE GOOD UNTIL FEBRUARY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Jeebus. You’ns iz already yakking.

scotchnaut
Member

Ten hour drive to Thunder Bay tomorrow for a one day conference.

/pray for Mojo

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

I’ve done that drive from Toronto to Thunder Bay. It’s about 15 hours, god speed.

Redshirt
Member

Next time research planes or trains. Or take multiple days off so you can take a day to rest.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Your boss knows that they have things like phones, with conference-call capability, right?

scotchnaut
Member

Here’s the thing. I’m the boss.

/it’s a bunch of yakking about extending a very profitable program, so I must attend

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Wait. Don’t bosses have, like, minions or drones or henchmen or lackeys to do all that boring shit for them?

/not sure you’re a very good boss. Sad.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

At least to do the driving.

blaxabbath
Member

Boss-to-boss (I’ve never got to use that before), those are the best kinds of programs to extend.

scotchnaut
Member

“UP TOP, BUDDY!”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I get the feeling that Thunder Bay isn’t as cool as the name would suggest?

litre_cola
Member

It is not. Very racial as well with white man v natives. Big problem.

Redshirt
Member

(checks Wikipedia)

Aw, with the name I was expecting a surfing town with women in bikinis,

litre_cola
Member

Oh god the Trans canada up there isnt even twinned is it?

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Trans canadia twins?! What DOESN’T your healthcare cover?
/no seriously…really. Cuz check please on this shit sammich.

scotchnaut
Member

Word has it that there is barely a shoulder to cry on.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

(Signs in, starts up ticker tape news machine)
So guys, it’s been a while, maybe it’s finally time we can talk about gun contr–
(Whirrr, click, other ticker tape noises)
Let’s just check the news here. Oh. Oh no. Guess we’ll try again in six months.

Redshirt
Member

Without trying to ruffle some feathers, I think some Republicans can agree that either some gun control law needs created or some gun control laws needs enforced.

Protecting yourself? Of course! Who wouldn’t agree that someone has that right?
This guy had enough to arm a small village!

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s too late. The battle is over, the gun nuts won, and the price the rest of us have to pay to secure their precious 2nd Amendment rights are these daily slaughters, some obviously worse than others. (Full disclosure: gun owner (just one though)).

Gratliff
Member

“Well, the Old Gods stir, so I guess enough blood has been shed on American soil. Maybe it’s time for tighter control of gun possession in this country.”

*receives Giant Check*

“I mean, if anything, we have TOO much control. The only thing that stops a bad sniper is at least 400 people openly carrying sniper rifles.”

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Redshirt
Member

Maybe the Hollywood elites can create an anti-NRA lobby, whose sole purpose is to write a bigger check than the NRA.

Gratliff
Member

That money is already allocated to quietly busting entertainment unions

Redshirt
Member

So that’s how Scientology gets its money. Its all a front.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Maybe this is already the case and I just don’t know all hte details, but it seems reasonable that guns should AT LEAST have as much regulation and restriction as cars.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Or as much as birth control that isn’t abstinence. Oh wait, we’re getting rid of that too.

Senor Weaselo
Member

But why are they on the cusp of legalizing silencers?

Redshirt
Member

Because the NRA has a lot of money and the Democrats are only good at saying no and not persuading moderate Republicans?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Oh, if they were even good at only saying No.

Senor Weaselo
Member

…Yeah, that pretty much hits the nail on the head actually. Or at least also-bad solutions.

Senor Weaselo
Member

So now they’re saying Tom Petty isn’t dead?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Still hanging on apparently, but no brain activity, off life support, and Do No Resuscitate order in place. Just a matter of time, I reckon

Gratliff
Member

Legends never die

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Based on his music, I wouldn’t have pegged him as a hardass motherfucker, but here we are…

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

.
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Senor Weaselo
Member

Is that like the New York Knicks being the New York [Fancy Term for New Yorkers]?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

The New York Eustace Tillys?comment image

Horatio Cornblower
Member

“And the Panthers come on the road and beat the Patriots!”

Funny, I do the same thing whenever the Patriots lose.

Senor Weaselo
Member

That’s some distance, I’m impressed.
/I assume you’re still on a chair or couch when this happens

Gratliff
Member

Liv Morgan is not unattractive.

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Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

She appears to be fun-sized.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Indeed. A well put-together female human.

Redshirt
Member

Hue Jackson survived the day still employed? Well, I’ll be damned!

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

I got an Irish coworker that always gets pissed when someone orders an “Irish Car Bomb” as a drink. He came up with his own.

He orders as many shots as he can afford at once, drinks them as a fast as possible, vomits all over the place, and then yells “THERE IS NOTHING WE COULD DO”

He calls it the “American Mass Shooting”.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

That’s great. I’ve seen this before, but it never fails to amuse me.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I didn’t realize Darren Rovell wrote for Time.

The owner of Mandalay Bay lost almost a billion dollars in value after the Las Vegas shooting https://t.co/JIWiMsQpAY

— TIME (@TIME) October 2, 2017

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

WON’T SOMEBODY PLEEEEEEASE THINK OF THE CAPITAL?!

Redshirt
Member

Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.

His boyfriend/girlfriend/dominant hand picked a crappy time to break up with him after a game.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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