NFL News:
- The pressure must have gotten to John Fox – it’s Truth Biscuit time in Chicago!
- His first game will be next Monday night versus the Vikings.
- With the Falcons bye week approaching, it appears Julio Jones – owner & wearer of the high flyin’ cleats in the banner photo – will not miss any time due to injury.
- He hurt a hip flexor in the loss to Buffalo.
- Based on stats through the first four games, Tom Brady is on track to be sacked 52 times this year.
- To date, he’s been dropped 13 times. He was sacked for loss 15 times in all of the 2016 regular season.
- The Seahawks got beat-the-hell-up last night in their victory over the Colts:
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- HOW THE FUCK DID HE FINISH THE GAME?!
- RB Chris Carson: Broken leg, below the knee
- Done for the season
- DE Cliff Avril: Pinched nerve; day-to-day
- He lost feeling in his fingertips after an accidental kick to the head.
- CB Jeremy Lane: Strained groin.
- Day-to-day
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- As expected, Eagles fans took over the StubHub Center and turned an away game into home-field advantage. This Deadspin link has full audio of the debacle Eagles OT Jason Peters said “was like a home game”.
We wish you were here, but it sounds like most of you were. #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/TeQaaAH5qM
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) October 1, 2017
Finally, unrelated to football, it’s been a bad day for music fans. The 58 people killed at the Jason Aldean show in Las Vegas by a domestic terrorist, and news that Tom Petty is on life-support dead, have made for a very sad Monday.
I saw Tom Petty live once. It was the “True Confessions” tour with Bob Dylan in 1986.
It was pretty good. Each played 45 minutes on their own, and then combined for the final 30 minutes of the show. I owned that shirt for years; it eventually wore out.
Game Preview: Chiefs at [*Redacted] s
Tonight, two of the sports world’s finest ethnic slurs face off in Washington as the Kansas City Chiefs, owned by non-affiliated Christian & white male Clark Hunt, take on a Washington team owned by Jewish businessman & white male Dan Snyder.
Hunt, who lettered in soccer at Southern Methodist University in 1987, and therefore did not have any hand in the alleged murder of five hookers while Craig James definitely attended SMU between 1979-82, majored in business, worked at Goldman Sachs and was named head of Hunt Sports Group LLC when his father Lamar died. He shares ownership with his three siblings. He was influential in getting his father to back the creation of Major League Soccer, something that validated the league in its early days of operation.
Dan Snyder, a petty little man who has a tendency to sue any organization that writes untruthful things, is a businessman notorious for attempting to squeeze every penny out of the organizations he owns or belongs to as well as monetizing the fan base. I refer you to Dave McKenna’s piece from the Washington City Paper for more details. Snyder attempted to sue the paper & author for defamation, but the suit was withdrawn in the face of a SLAPP motion by the defendants. Currently surrounded by yes-men, he presides over a team that hasn’t done anything meaningful in the NFL since Joe Gibbs first discovered car racing.
The game itself should be a spirited affair, as Kansas City are the only remaining unbeaten team and Washington wants to keep pace with the Eagles & stay one game ahead of the Cowboys. Alex Smith is doing a commendable job holding back the tide wanting high draft pick Patrick Mahomes to come in & take the reins. Now that they have settled on a pronunciation, Washington is enjoying another Kirk Cousins franchise-tag year, as their recent devastation of the Raiders proved. They both have solid receiving corps, and while Washington has the advantage in the safety/corner department, they won’t be able to do much without being able to stop KC’s Kareem Hunt, who is the prime reason Alex Smith looks as good as he does.
It’s either going to be a 42-38 barnburner or a 7-6 slog. Gun to my head, I’d take the Chiefs.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en español en ESPN2
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- WWE
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Baseball playoffs start tomorrow with the AL play-in game, followed by the NL game & NHL home openers Wednesday. WE’RE GOOD UNTIL FEBRUARY!
I feel bad for Rikki-Tikki-Deadly, but i’m also conflicted because I get to bask in his misery and laugh at his expense, which gives me another reason to keep on living.
Anyway, Goodnight all.
I should know better than to care, their luck almost always runs out as soon as the playoffs start.
Spread on this game was [*Redacted] s +7.5.
Bad beat of the century.
Guess who just went from 90 minutes of knowing I was going to lose $50 to suddenly MAKE IT RAIN BITCHES?
Buddy on acid buying BitCoin?
Tlaloc, the Aztec god of storms?
Adam Jones at a strip club buffet?
Well, that happened. Night, all.
covered!
I hate most of Western Canada.
http://whl.ca/prospects/2017/-60776946
How do you even pronounce that?
Van-Koo-Ver
Ca-Na-Da
His parents were poor and couldn’t afford a vowel, okay? Check your privilege.
That’s what happens when mom has a stroke during delivery.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
/farts
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Wow, might be another shooting in Vegas after that.
Too soon?
Yuuuuuup
NEVAR
Oh Jesus.
LOTS O SHOOTING IN KC TOO; CASUALTIES WERE REMOTES AND KEYBOARDS.
/sorry
garbage time D/ST points for my money leaggue
Some bookies are gonna be PISSED
WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE GAMBLERS?!
Think Vegas casinos are more pissed about this outcome?
Favorites covered, so traditionally that is bad news for the bookies.
thats why I don’t gamble
would you believe I once split a pair of queens my first time playing blackjack?
I split a hairy asshole the first time playing Jack Black.
HAHA DICK MOVE
Gamblinglinedown!
It’s like staring into a lava lamp.
Or a mirror.
They kicked it deep?
Do you think anyone has had the balls to tell Jay that no one gives a shit about the “Gruden Grinders”
Because I’m an idiot, it took me until this komment to remember that Jon and Jay are brothers.
yeah and I fucked it up almost as bad as the Redacteds messed up the end of this game.
AW YEAH SUCK IT SLURS
EVERYBODY GETS A TRIP TO THE TROUGH!
Calling Shanklor.
Harrison Butker…
White people…you are NO LONGER allowed to give black people shit about what we name our kids.
Good sir, you should look at the gems from the WHL Bantam Draft.
http://whl.ca/draft
You are aware that people don’t pick the surname, right? It’s only the first name that they pick.
Or were you saying that Harrison is a weird name? Because at least it’s spelled correctly.
All your names pale in comparison to Moshe Kozolvsky, which is an awesome name in my book.
Kudos on the good clock management from both parties
From Andy Reid? What’s he gonna due next, eat a salad?
“Can you substitute roast beef for lettuce on that salad? Thanks.”
-Andy Reid
As soon as this game is over, I’m pulling a Seamus and going to bed
So, 39 seconds start to finish?
Uncle Ed once said, “Ties are like kissing your sister. You try not to come all over your khakis from the joy of it.”
If Uncle Ed has a newsletter, I would like to subscribe to a non-semen covered copy of it.
I hate both of these sides, really. Just don’t want footbaw over for the weekend and to be left with nothing but my depressing, shitty life again.
Have you opened your heart and mind to the wonderful world of internet porn?
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I don’t know why I’m putting myself through this. I’m turning this off.
But you’re so close to the end!
-God
I thoroughly enjoyed that, huzzah!
Yanno, I think I’m going to make the Chiefs my AFC team to cheer for this season. They’re fun to watch, and I have no reason to dislike them.
“Give up a 37 yard completion when playing prevent defense? Can do!”
– Chiefs opponent
“THE ONLY THING THE PREVENT DEFENSE PREVENTS YOU FROM DOING IS WINNING”
– Every drunk at the bar who played 3rd string guard and wore #69 because, well, you know.
Yes.
[blitzs; gets beat deep]
I think you might hate the Chiefs.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[*Redacted] s tied up? It’s the trail of tears all over again.
C’mon, Andy. You’ve got one more [*Redacted] s embarrassment in you.
See, Andy is an actual [*Redacted] .
I see him as more of a Russet.
Between the Vegas and Petty news, plus the fact I had teenagers openly sobbing in class when I gave back some math tests today, plus the fact it’s Monday… Today fucking blows.
At least I got to see Lady Maestro today. That always cheers me up.
You guys are pretty alright too.
I’m not sure if it’s bad or good about the kids openly sobbing. What unit of mathematics is it anyway?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5Y1BxtjkMc
Don’t make us sob too, you bastard.
I would get kids doing that when I was a TA in college.
Not just like Freshman…I am talking about adults old enough to drink, crying about them getting a shitty grade on an exam.
I once had a dude fail to show up for an exam. He said he was in a car accident and that his doctor told him not to think to hard because it would kill him.
I told him he needed a note from the doctor.
Damn if he didn’t show up with a note from his doctor…who turns out was his fucking mother.
” his fucking mother.???”
-Bill B.
– T. Cruz
“Fucking mother? NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
— M. Pence
So, Andy’s going to call consecutive timeouts before this snap, right?
My Uncle Ed once said, “Kirk Cousins looks like someone who fucks a man in the ass, and won’t even give him a reacharound. I once saw R. Lee Ermey’s cock. It was huge.”
It was both a rifle and a gun.
It was for fighting AND for fun…
“SAY THE FUCKING SONG AS YOU EAT MY ASS!”
Like a jelly donut?
I swear everybody has an uncle like that somewhere.
Yeah, usually in Supermax
You’ve got a weird idea of erotica, son.
Not if you enjoy INXS.
Same shit different day. What is a catch? Silencers are great? These 2 fanbases nicknames are in no way raycess.
i mean what if you wanna shoot somebody and NOT be given away I guess u didn’t think bout that huh libtard smh
Well then you get close enough so that most of the gun gasses are injected into the body though the entry wound…
“All you need is the special tape on the handle.” -Peter Clemenza
Technically there is no such thing as a “silencer”. That’s a movie thing..
I’m honestly for allowing people to have suppressors.
I think the bullets should be banned.
“Should have had that catch”….
I am going to make the bold claim and say the vast majority of us, falling down from that height, fully extended, onto a football, that not only would we NOT make that catch…most of us died from a collapsed lung.
Against any team other than the fucking Chiefs he makes that catch.
I think its a prime example of how the fans expect players to routinely make insane plays…and the announcers don’t do anything to push back from that fucked up perspective.
That was a staggeringly difficult catch to make.
Durrrr he was a qb in uni, a true wr would have come up with that.
I sat near the field for a preseason game, and I’m amazed anyone completes a pass. Ever.
Hey you guys. There’s a football game on right now.
What channel?
I don’t know but you’ll never believe this. The guy that does those Hooters commercials? He’s doing commentary! Wild.
Oh, man. I love Hooters. So many tittiess. You know, I saw Mitch Trubisky there one time.
C’mon backbreaking pick
Geostorm? Moar leik Shitstorm. SMDH.
I want you all to know I will probably see Geostorm in a theater and I make no apologies for it.
Don’t feel bad, I kinda wanna see the new Tom Cruise movie.
So does Scientology.
Feel bad? Oh no. I have no shame regarding my disaster porn fetish.
I hate myself for it, but I feel the same way. Might download it illegally so I don’t feel quite so terrible.
Why download when you can just stream it off fmovies or solarmovie or vumoo
I just realized I’m watching the Canadian broadcast.
Lotsa u’s?
Damn straight.
THIS HOSER KIRK COUSINS I CALL HIM PM CHRETIEN BECAUSE HE’S A PUNCHY MAN, EH?
I don’t know what would impress me more: if you did all the research to make that comment, or if you just knew all that stuff off the top of your head.
I use my brain to remember weird shit. Like the Shawinigan Handshake.
The Labatt’s commercials weren’t a giveaway?
Plus the Tim Horton’s ads?
Those are a scourge on our society.
Honest to god, when I went up to Hamilton for the first time for work, I was all geared up to try Tim Hortons.
Holy shit the coffee is pure ass. McDonald’s has better coffee.
Eh….what’s that aboot?
Fuck, Samuel. Don’t you have enough in the bank yet? Stop shilling for banks.
Still paying off the civil trial settlement of being an accessory to Marvin’s death.
Did Gruden just call him “Bob Cousins”?
I meant Bob Evans. Sorry, thinking about where I lost my virginity.
You too?!
Denny’s lies when they say that’s only place where you can have a grand slam.
Tiger Woods and PErkins would like a word.
You can get breakfast all day long, just not booty.
Kirk Cousins seems like if he lived in your neighborhood, he would be the biggest ass at the HOA meetings.
He seems like someone who volunteers at a school and is so annoyingly earnest, you’d respect him more if he were creepy.
https://deadspin.com/kirk-cousins-shoves-volunteer-official-at-charity-flag-1792008254
What?? Cousins oozes creepiness. He’ll turn out to be a psychopath, just wait.
He checks out my butt when I take out the trash… not in a sexual way, which is pretty weird.
Truth Biscuit in prime time, oh my.
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME TITT-AYS?
He don’t care if they’re built for speed or pleasure, he’s just a motorboatin’ sunofabitch!
These two teams really should play each other every Thanksgiving Day.
But blindfolded.
And in a zentai suit
And miss the Patriots vs the [*Redacteds]? Smallpox blankets for everyone!
So does Washington fuck up this drive by turning it over, or by penalties?
Yes.
..and of COURSE the Chiefs are the ones who catch the ball off the bounce.
This drives me fucking crazy. Every fucking team forgets the most basic principles of football when they play the Chiefs. EVEN THE FUCKING PATRIOTS DID!
THAT’S what I wanted to show you guys. This study by Fivethirtyeight analyzed how every NFL team’s fans lean politically. It was mostly what you’d expect, but the Patriots fans were surprisingly conservative.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-every-nfl-teams-fans-lean-politically/
I read that article – I thought it was interesting that a lot of the fans skewing the Pats conservative were actually from outside New England.
My extended family is from Mansfield/Foxboro, and I would guess that 75% of them are fucking conservatives. I just can’t figure that shit out.
What’s to figure out? They’re assholes.
Sorry about Thanksgiving, man.
That shit is funny. The Baltimore fan base is the kind of Democrats that thinks all the heroin is consumed in the city and mass transit will allow black people in the suburbs to rape and pillage.
The kind of folks that like to boast they are from the city and they know where they filmed “The Wire” but would fucking die of fear walking around Lexington Market.
Thanks for that; Denver kind of figures; vanilla mix.
there’s no KHunt on the field!!
Have you seen Deuce Gruden?
I dropped him off at the pool earlier.