Hey, mirth-makers! So good to see you again. I’m hoping that the vast majority of you are enjoying this short work week like I am. That Monday off is always great. And then starting the week on the Tuesday, half-assing it on Wednesday (I work from home that day-it took me a while to figure out how to do it but it was highly recommended by the likes of some of you folks so I had to), putting in quality time today and finishing up tomorrow makes for a delightful way to bring home the artisan bacon. And then what?-watching football all day Saturday and Sunday. Some may care to do other things like be an integral part of their family, volunteer their time, what have you. Whatever. It takes all kinds, amirite? Listen, obligations come in all kinds of shapes, sizes and flavours-we all know this. As for tonight, the Thursday Football Gods have conjured up a lou-lou. Or maybe just a loo? Shall we break it down a wee bit? Sure. Let’s go…. TO THE GAME!
EAGLES/PANTHERS: Look at you, you gorgeous 4-1 squadoos! Very impressive I must say-separating yourself from the dregs of the NFC and everything! We should/might see what the Eagles are really made of tonight. There’s talk among the cynics (primarily godawful Eagles fans) that their record was built on a mound of cupcakes. Looking at their last three wins (over the Cards, Lawnclippers and Giants) there may be some merit to this. My take is that they’re doing something right because they sit third in the league in total offense. They know how to move the ball. Plus they must be motivated to gain even more ground on the 2-2 ‘Dacteds and the [snorts derisively]* 2-3 Cowsquirrels. The Cam is rounding into his previous NFL MVP shape if one were to look at his last two games-he’s tossed for 300+ yards in each and seems to be over the shoulder trouble that contributed to 5 INT’s to this point. His play has to be spectacular because despite young McCaffrey busting his TD cherry last week the ground game was responsible for a whole 28 yards on 28 carries. I don’t math well but that doesn’t seem very good.
Bust that comment section a new a-hole, buckaroos!
*It’s all that I have left. Just give me this!
A few people on Twitter are bitching about “pace of play.”
This game has had 16 runs and a shit ton of baserunners. That isn’t happening in under three hours no matter how much you may want it to.
Andy Reid, explaining the situation to an apprehensive Golden Corral manager
Three! Ha!
Damn, that’s good
An entire prime time football game was played within the span of 7 innings of this game.
I don’t know which game that’s more damning of.
Hmm, lemme float a 78 mph pitch across the plate for Harper. What could go wrong?
Baseball time!
Yep, a basehit here would make it reaaalll interesting
No, the Small Bears are gonna win, I refuse to even check the score. Y’all enjoy.
Uhhhh…
I finished making gifs out of blax’s selections from this week’s Quotables.
Some of you are going to Hell.
Eagles over Cams and it’s not nearly this close with a real officiating crew
Well this is a fantastic result. 5-1 with 4 of 6 on the road. Yessir I will take it.
Limp noodle ending. Well done, Iggles!
Cam just daring someone to catch a pick
I wonder what the limit is in terms of using information from sports broadcasting to recreate events via animation. In effect, would it be legal to “watch” a baseball game on a Playstation if the players from a game re-enacted the events?
Spitballing here, but conspiracy theory chick at the bookstore might just be wild in the rack. The crazy ones usually are.
Problem is, you wake up like this:
Crazy will just drag you to her level. Just keep that in mind.
Like any of us ain’t already there or worse!
She does seem like she’s be into BDSM.
Yeah, but I’m not so into torture porn.
So I’ve been working a good bit this evening; did I miss all the Kelvin Benjamin fat jokes or were there just not any?
so….who gets more shit tomorrow, dusty or cam?
Cam.
Open bar and I didn’t even get drunk enough to overcome the Mexican food I ate.
mexican food cannot be overcome, it is unconquerable, that’s what makes it so great, the sooner you come to terms with that, the happier you’ll be.
Yeah. That’s why Taco Bell stays in business. It’s also why Mexicans invented Tequila and Mezcal, because the food sops up everything but the most high-grade, industrial-strength shit.
So now we’ll learn wether or not Cam know how to run a two minute drill…..
Romo really is pretty sharp.
See, you can compensate for the medium-high doses of opiates just fine!
I have no problem with his announcing either, plus he’s not a screamer, which annoys the neighbors.
Goddammit, iggles
Back footed the toss.
I was that drunk a few times.
Christ, Ertz.
Pretty sure it’s Zach.
Moose has entered the MST3K short-film-era .gifs.
..yeah, go ahead and post another Egyptian pic… I DARES YA.
Not going to lie… something about Elizabeth Taylor I never quite got. Possibly her 48 ex’s.
Hey pal; it was only 47.
This was more for the Egyptian thing, the lesbian slave thing, the lesbian harem thing…..
maybe I’m going a bit off script…..
/screaming internally
Fucking prevent offense
Panthers lucky in that more than 2:50 remains, so 1 timeout gets you the ball back with 1:50 or so if you get the 3-and-out.
Wait…was the guy in that tire commercial Fred Durst?
No. No. Noooooooooooo.
“I DID IT ALL FOR THE COOKIES…THE COOKIES…”
– Kelvin Benjamin
I envy Cam, that looks like it must have been such a rush.
That looks like Fred Mertz crashing into Ricky Ricardo.
IGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGLES
Now put the barrel under your chin, and squeeze, kid.
This is solid life advice!
THAT WAS FUCKING FANTASTIC
How many not-picks has Cam thrown so far? 4?
Plus 3 actual picks!
Well, there’s a NOT not-pick
#5 was a bridge too far, it would seem
West Virginia University in action!
Jesus, that timeout…
Or not.
GOT YO ASS
BLEERGH thinks my hometown’s skyline be purty, too
The chili?
wrong Queen City ,, smh
Hey, I don’t know how drunk/ stoned you are.
MEDIUM
SEE! You could be there.
Glad my (full PPR) money league foe sat Benjamin.
Unlike Sharkbait.
My FFL opponent started Newton, McCaffrey and Ertz. I am… not pleased.
Helen Mirren a million years ago?
And now for “What the hell venue is Senor at today?” the last act I just listened to could be described as industrial queer emo techno. I am here primarily to hang out with a (yes, lady) friend of mine singing in the next set. Well, at least I’ve gotten out of the house and drinking today.
Are you now “Questioning” Senor? This is a safe space imo godbless.
Yessir, we do not single out any group for ridicule, for lo, they are all worthy of it in their own way.
Well, I didn’t feel like I could relate to the song about going out and not feeling like I could wear anything so I’m gonna wear that blue skirt even if it kills me. Personally I don’t think I have the legs.
Living in the PNW has really made pale chicks appealing. Tits helps a lot.
Did someone say Industrial Queers?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfgs9FRD25M
I’m into the malort.
I repeat, I’m in the malort.
Don’t worry, you’ll be able to open your eyes without lightning bolts again by Game Three.
And back on your bullshit.
MY BULLSHIT. I’M BACK ON IT!
Carolina has one penalty for one yard?
See? Yvonne Furneaux is just unfair.
Current mood
yes, on the extra point, Philly then decided to go fer two and made it.
I have this strange feeling tonight will be the night I finally break from reality and literally explode.
Maybe I should just watch football.
We’re going to kill you next week, so can you just wait a bit?
SEE? One of us! One of us!!!
If only the pylon had a camera going straight up.
That’s crazy, are you living in 2057?
That wouldn’t do any good, they are not making movies any more.
Oh, PYLON…..
Ohhhhhhhhhh shit
….how do those penalties offset? Or not offset, but what they did with it
THIS GUY CAM NEWTON I CALL HIM JOHN HOLMES AT THE END OF HIS CAREER CAUSE THERE WAS AN AWFUL LOT OF FLOPPING GOING ON THERE.
Also AIDS?
and AIDS?
He does need help smh.
A better OL…….
Oh, and a driver.
+1 fluffer
hey u try getting blood 2 that much cock with that much blow in ur system ,, smh
/also, put Rikki on the banner Friday am
This is all going to go to shit.
Goddammit people
Jesus!