Your AFC West Showdown on Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Here we are, as usual, sitting on the cusp of the next week(end) of glorious football. How’ve you been? Good? Good. I’m glad we got those inane pleasantries out the way quickly. Are you in the mood to briefly scan some silly tidbits that may/may not be relevant to the tilt that is about to fill your eyebulbs? Wonderful! Why don’t we head… TO THE GAME!

KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND: We here at Door Flies Open will never stop making light jabs at His Heavy-ness, the only man that includes an entire chocolate waterfall in his daily diet, the coach that time forgot (sorry, forgets the time), the eater of all the ribs, wings and other things on the Family Feast Plate, the one, the only Andy Reid. Say what you will about the guy but man, does he ever take care of business in the regular season. The Chiefs have a lovely little 12 game winning-streak going against all comers in the AFC West, including 5 frickin’ straight vs. the Raiders. Sure they’re coming off a loss to the Steelers but Oakland went down to the Lawnclippers last week. Sheesh! Many folks (including yours truly) thought that the Raiders would be in the thick of things this year playoff-wise but that doesn’t seem to be the case and the recent Carr crash didn’t help things at all. Statistics say that Derek would be wise to air it out to Amari because the Chiefs have given up the most number of ‘long’ plays (defined as runs of 11+ yards and passing plays of 15+) in the NFL. I wouldn’t sleep on wr Crabtree though-he’s grabbed 5 TD’s on only 25 receptions. Te Kelce has had some ringing in his ears recently (concussion) but the decibels have dropped to an acceptable level so he should bounce back from last week’s lousy game. Biggest surprise I had while prepping for this post was discovering that the Niners’ Navarro Bowman will be starting for the Raiders. Is there a student-exchange kind of thingy going on in the league now?

You know what to do.

 

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King Hippo

OPI!!!

King Hippo

6 seconds after the DET fuckening runoff

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Rikki going to need to go to the hospital for an erection lasting more than four hours?

King Hippo

his ass down first

Col. Duke LaCross

Wow!

King Hippo

down inside the 1

WCS

Yep.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought he slid before contact. I can’t see it getting overturned.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I stand corrected.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shank it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow

Croooow

Holy Crap! What a catch!

WCS

Hole. E. Sheet.

King Hippo

Houlton has that OPI down pat

hippofant

Maybe he should be a DB instead.

theeWeeBabySeamus

TD and failed 2pt attempt might get me moar Kelce pts in OT. Yes I vote for that.

King Hippo

Like, such shit that I am worried the Shitty Clippers will back into the playoffs at 8-8

King Hippo

These teams are both shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holton: What??? Nobody said I couldn’t do that.

King Hippo

Been awhile seen I’ve seen a non-#ThePauls defense tackle as shittily as the Chefs

BrettFavresColonoscopy
King Hippo

yeah, Catler/Flacco will be a goddamned riot, Jeeeeem

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Wow, what a rush!”
Used to say that a lot back in the 70s myself, Tony.

...

Now that the Cubs are hibernating, I’ll just go back to post shit like this:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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...

I drink this beer often!

hippofant

According to the persistence hunting theory, Jogging is actually the sort of hunting that primitive humans engaged in. We evolved as long-distance runners who would keep pursuing their prey until they wore out.

King Hippo

what explains CrossFit?

King Hippo

Throw deep. TO BLOODMOUTH.

...

/pours out a bottle of Old Style

Unsurprised

Hey all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I lied. THIS is the drive where Oakland is unable to stop KC and never sees the ball again.

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s like you’re one of those pre-cognitives in that Minority Report movie.

ballsofsteelandfury

Doh!

King Hippo

Is that the first 3-and-out of the game?

Croooow

Has it really been 1988 since the Dodgers last WS appearance? Seems almost hard to believe. Haven’t they always been good or at least competitive?

deviantBastard

They’ve been close, but lost in the NLCS to Philly, St. Louis or Chicago.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Perennial bridesmaids of late.

King Hippo

SL is to LA what SF is to SL

King Hippo

Yay, Los Dodgeros! Sweated out a 10-point squeaker.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Memphis/UH game over on ESPN is pretty good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whatever chance the Raiders have at the rest of the season comes down to this drive.

ballsofsteelandfury

Doh!

WCS

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BYE, CUBS.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He didn’t need those ribs. He’s fine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prediction: the Raiders won’t even see the ball again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, I love making good things happen by forcing the Universe to prove me wrong.

King Hippo

Back on this “9 point game” thing. For onesies, OAK was at the 10, not the 2. And was like 4th and 6, not 4th and 1. BIG DIFFERENCE. Also much more time on the clock.

Even so, you see the downside, as KC burns clock and approaches FG range.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That KHunt is slippery tonight.

King Hippo

bloodmouth WOO!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jelly brain got moar jelly brained.
*sigh*

King Hippo

throw to bloodmouth

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, jelly brain.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ANNOUNCER: The Chiefs are statistically the best fourth quarter team in the NFL.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: THEY STILL AREN’T THAT GOOD!

Brick Meathook

The VFX in those “Geostorm” ads look awful. Which means those are the best VFX shots if they’re in the trailers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like VX cause they give me optic nerve damage amirite?

Brick Meathook

BOOSH

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yep. Same old bullshit no-calls that only benefit teams that aren’t the Raiders.

Shit. I sound like a Ravens fan, don’t I?

theeWeeBabySeamus

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Conspiracy theory time! I predict the Raiders will win a Super Bowl (with some extremely generous officiating) within the first two or three years of being in Vegas. It will “send a message” about what happens to cities who play ball in terms of stadium giveaways.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Dang, just one more yard…”

—Tennessee Oilers/Titans

King Hippo

See, I can too throw it hard!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m surprised the ref even bothered to look at the replay, with how quick he bailed it was clear he’d already made up his mind to rule for the Chiefs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is great for pace of play

Col. Duke LaCross

Andy Reid wins a challenge that doesn’t involve eating a 72-ounce steak in 45 minutes?

I don’t want to live in this world anymore.

WCS

To be fair, Andy could finish that steak in less than 15 minutes, and ask for seconds.

deviantBastard

Ol 96’er.

Shogun Marcus

Gristle and all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s times like this I wish the Raiders were the Patriots so I could count on a travesty of a ruling on the call.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I bought new shoes today. They’re exactly the same as my old shoes. Only newer. And a lot whiter.
Nawt Raycess.

Yes, I’m boring.

Shogun Marcus

Do you have newly found balance?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t tell right now. Get back to me in the morning.
LATE morning.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I bet bear dingleberries are the worst dingleberries.

King Hippo

“Tell me about it” – Aaron R., Green Bay, WI

Shogun Marcus

Ask boo-boo.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FUCK YOU JIM NANCE THIS IS NOT THE FIRST FUCKING TIME THE CHIEFS HAVE HAD A LUCKY BOUNCE.

deviantBastard

No wonder I’m an alcoholic.

WCS

You’re a Jets fan? No, a Browns fan. No, a Bangles fan. No, a Bills fan. No, a Bears fan….

deviantBastard

Far worse. Los Angeles Raider/Dodger fan.

Sharkbait

Lol wow….