Your “This London game is BS since it didn’t start super early” Open Thread

Seriously,  why is there a game at all? Just to fuck with the Rams’ attendance and try to raise their average?

You know,  this poses an interesting dilemma: Realistically,  this will be the highest attendance home game for the Rams all year long. And it will be held in London.  Can you see the wheels clicking?

As for the game itself,  I expect it to be a drab and low-scoring affair.

/Pac 12 game breaks out.

The rest of the early morning/afternoon slate is as follows:

Ravens at Vikings

Our own Yeah Right is at this game.  He will hopefully be filing a Boots on the Ground post telling us how many bird carcasses he saw while trying to get into the stadium.

Saints at Packers

Brett Hundley makes his debut as the Green Bay QB. Given UCLA’s recent form,  he’ll throw 2 TDs, 2 INTs, and the Packers will lose 41-38.

Jets at Dolphins

Jets fans do not need to yell “Show your TITS” to women in South Beach as the ladies routinely go topless,  but they will do so anyway.

Panthers at Bears 

And who the fuck thought this was a good game to show to almost the entire country? No wonder the ratings are down!

Buccaneers at Bills 

This game like NEVER happens,  right? Is this like the second time these teams have faced each other in history? I really can’t remember the last time.

Jaguras at Colts

In a division where Houston has a star in Deshaun Watson and Tennessee has a star in Marcus Mariota, the lack of quality quarterbacking in this matchup is striking. Loser goes to the bottom of the pile?

Titans at Browns

Speaking of the Titans,  there is no way they lose to the Browns,  right? If I was still in the Elimination Pool,  I’d be hesitant to pick them in this game.

***

Incidentally,  there are only 2 people remaining in the pool!

Comment away!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Senor Weaselo

The turf has been mentioned one or two hundred times in Miami so far.

Redshirt

– “Kizer is starting 6-for-6 in this game!”
– “Good. Its about time we start getting some points.”
– “Points?”

King Hippo

my money league scoring page is on the fritz, which is just as fucking well.

litre_cola

It is in German?

King Hippo

scheisseonmytummyDOTcom

litre_cola

How much? There usually is a price list in Frankfurt from what I heard…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cam Newton’s corollary to Newton’s Third Law: When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body, until the second body is slammed unceremoniously into the turf.

King Hippo

When did Green Bay acquire a secondary?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen a Newton get sacked so relentlessly since Isaac fell asleep under that tree and was woken up by something hitting his head and his physicist colleages were all standing around smirking and one of them told him it was an apple.

laserguru

I just got to sing SKOL Vikings for the first time today.

Spur

Slippery balls today in Green Bay. If Rodgers was there we’d have those balls dry.

JustStopDude

The Vikings horn thing is really fucking stupid since they do it for every fucking first down.

It would be like the Browns shitting themselves every single play. You got to save it for when it matters the most.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Runner up for most annoying: Any stadium that plays the opening bells of AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells every single fucking time the visiting team has a third down.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Man, I hate the sound of bells ringing.”

– Wes Welker

JustStopDude

Also in the debate, any team doing 7 nation army for any fucking reason at all.

hippofant

I move an exception be granted to all Wichita sports teams.

litre_cola

Maybe.

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit, now they’re just saying dilly dilly without doing anything else. Who created this commercial so I can sic a pack of woodpeckers on their skull?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder who composes that generic hard-driving rock music that plays in the background while they’re showing game highlights on NFL Gameday Live. It’s so vanilla I feel like heading down to the convenience store and picking up a pint of BlueBell.

Brick Meathook

You are watching a Rams game from London and I am getting my car washed in Los Angeles. We truly live in a magical age.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Counterpoint: I still don’t have my personal jetpack. Or my flying car.

Spur

Vikings D just killed a man

Bogdanski

Hello, folkles.

laserguru

How do?

Gratliff

Holy shit Panthers

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

!Starcotsiraeb

(it’s a puzzle, sort of)

King Hippo

ah, I get it!

/only 1 v-profen in

Redshirt

Retroactive flags are now legal?!

Senor Weaselo

Don’t the P*ts not play until tonight?

King Hippo

The Bears, y’all

Spur

Does Mike Shula know you can pass on first down?

Redshirt

“That doesn’t mean its a good idea.” – David Shula

JustStopDude

Standing in line for food, talking to a coworker that went with me to the food festival about an upcoming project, the old lady handing out knishes asks…

“Where do you guys work? You are talking about going overseas”

My coworker says we are engineers. Her eyes light up. Before I can stop my coworker from answering her immediate follow up question as to whether or not we are single, he spills the beans that I am.

Thus commences the parade of daughters with their Jewish mothers to my table. I immediately tell the first pair that I am not Jewish.

“We can fix that”

“I’m gay”

“Now a days, who doesn’t go through a phase?”

Despite the constant harassment, the food is good.

Redshirt

You can pull a Marge Schott and say “Hilter started out good, he just went too far.”

JustStopDude

I seriously don’t get racism because 1) everyone has good food and 2) there is a HOT chick/dude version of everyone.

Plus if you mix and match them, you get that crazy hot Rosario Dawson shit going on…

Horatio Cornblower

That’s not true at all; Hitler’s watercolors were always shit.

King Hippo

throw it to Davante, TJ Maxx knockoff hetero Aaron Rodgers!

Spur

Why does CBS get to broadcast a game with two NFC teams?

litre_cola

Because you touch yourself.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is an excellent question.

Duchess

ahem… Because when Fox or CBS have the rights to too many games during a week they can “flex” them
to each other rather than diminish their ad buys and general ratings.

Brocky

So I think its hilarious that the beagle in that forest security commercial looks high as fuck…

and my dog just barked at crazy at it, like it feels threatened

Spur

Good news, Rodgers is out today.

Senor Weaselo

Hold the fuck up. Why am I getting Panthers-Bears on CBS but Jets-Dolphins on Fox? Who thought that makes sense?

Redshirt

Pizza is eaten. Blizzard is consumed. Sugar rush is imminent

LET’S DO THIS!

King Hippo

Humps aren’t placing HODOR! on IR because…pride?

Senor Weaselo

He’s just a little broken, he’s still good!

litre_cola
Senor Weaselo
laserguru

If one of you privileged slack folks wants to, feel free to post one of my photos from the slack “travel” channel.

litre_cola

I like the bloody mary one but I do not know how to post things except punk songs from teh youtubez.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think this is the most unexciting slate of Sunday afternoon games so far this season. Jesus, Carolina/Chicago is the best CBS can do?

Spur

You will like what we give you – NFL

King Hippo

German Elton John – no smire.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Spur

Instead of the Cowboys late game, i get the Saints/Packers early game. Somehow this is Rodgers fault.
It’s like the NFL wants me to stream games.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A lot of people don’t want to see Goodell’s contract as commisioner extended, but I do. As the NFL continues in its inevitable decline I want him to be the one who gets tagged as being responsible for it.

King Hippo

The NFL will only make a comeback with the peoples when it hires Commissioner Silky Gerrard!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Everton “Top 4 or Bust”

comment image

King Hippo

ouch…

/tough but fair

//my arse hurts

Senor Weaselo

What is the tagline of Senor’s future first girlfriend? I’ll take Potent Potables for $800, Alex.

laserguru

Holy fuck this place is amazing. I’m at the 11 yard line 10 rows from the field. I’ve got a bloody Mary going and life currently fucking rules!
SKOL MOTHERFUCKERS!

King Hippo

Boots on teh Ground!!

say HAI to Mister Winkles, k?

laserguru

Already did. He sends a snarlgnashsnarlchomp back.

Redshirt

Sounds like my seats for Opening Day. Have fun, Yeah Right!

Brocky

No matter what the average shit head says:

any NFL game is cool as fuck to go to.

I went to the bears lions season finale in 2015 when it was 14 degrees outside and neither team was going to the playoffs, and I was sitting in the 400 level.

It was fucking awesome.

DontHair

My first Bears game was Bears V Washington in late December 2002. Sitting in the grandstands at Solider Field. Noon kick off started tailgating at the McCormick place lot at 5 am. Drunk on screw drivers and bloodys by 7 am and full of the finest meats and cheese in cook county. Easily 5-10 degrees that day and with the windchill in the negatives. Got to listen to drunk bears fans call a group of old women who were in Washington indigenous peoples gear get called the Washington foreskins all afternoon. Best time I’ve ever had.

Gratliff

Waiting from Thursday-Monday for my team’s game is bullshit. I can only take so much enjoyment from the collapse of the Cowboys.

Spur

Fuck you! And, F is for Family tries too hard.

litre_cola

It has been a weird 2 weeks, I am not used to this wait either.

King Hippo

It’s making me feel S-M-R-T that Red Zone fantasy is listing every sleeper I considered from my bench (Kittle) or waivers (Fowler, Woods) for my flex…except for the guy I went with (Rishard Matthews).

Spur

What was your 1st car?
i had a 1994 Eagle Talon TSI. It was silver with red leather. i loved that car.

litre_cola

1977 Ford Fairmont Station wagon. Could fit 9 people in it. Cost me 250 dollars in 1993.

King Hippo

Canadian, that’s what 83 cents American ,, smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

When I was in Vet School, one of my classmates drove a Fairmont. His name was Fred. We called it the Fredmont.

That was funnier 25 years ago.

King Hippo

Holy shit! Mine was an Eagle Premier (1988 or 89?). It was like driving a sofa, I loved it, despite its perpetual overheating problem. My West Raleigh mechanic said “I cringe every time I see you coming up the drive.”

bk109

An Audi 80/B3/1.8S hand-me-down (the S is for shitty carburettor)… Loved that car so much that when it got totalled, I replaced it with the same bugger, but with a fuel-injected engine

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

1988 (?) Plymouth Horizon. Nothing special about it. The first car I ever bought myself was a 1994 Mitsubishi Mighty Max. I loved the hell out of that truck.

Spur

Those late 80s – 90’s small bodied import trucks were awesome.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bought it at 100k miles and drove it to 200k and it was still kicking. I actually made enough money on mileage expenses from work to cover the initial 4k I paid for it.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

2003 Ford Taurus. Got crushed by a tree in Hurricane Sandy a week after I replaced the catalytic converter.

laserguru

1964 Corvair manza. Engine in the trunk duel single barrel carbs. Loved that car.

Senor Weaselo

Madre Weaselo gave me an ’08 Elantra when she got a new one a couple years back, then when Hermana Weaselo got her job upstate this summer she inherited that car and I got my first car that I bought, a ’15 Corolla.

Brocky

Did someone say red leather?

comment image

Spur

Also fuck Amari Cooper!

Spur

Flex player – Beasley, Funchess or Demarco Murray? i have Murray in now. but that hammy is concerning

King Hippo

Bunches of Funchesses

King Hippo

he was a last-minute insertion against me in money league, guaranteed to go off

litre_cola

Hee hee insertion.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just sat him in favor of Austin Hooper.

litre_cola

So you inserted in the Hooper?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahem…words to that effect, yes. LOL.

King Hippo

Hate that this is an abbreviated NFL Sunday, with no night fixture.

litre_cola

Huh? I thought there was one? I just got up are you fucking with me???

King Hippo

I do not recognize the Cris/Al Superb Owl Dreamboat slurpfest, and encourage all Commentists to follow my example.

litre_cola

I plan to watch it on silent. UNless it is broadcast in French.

King Hippo

it will be nothing but flashbacks to the carnage footage. I am going to bed at 8pm

King Hippo

George Kittle is indeed a serviceable flex dart, if one can get past the Dreaded Two TE Alignment mental block (I will do this next week).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So the way I found out that the Astros won last night was when I opened up espn.com to check on the morning NFL schedule and didn’t see a single article blathering breathlessly about a Yankees/Dodgers series.

litre_cola

We gots ourselves a game now!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fournette out.

Considering Marshawn pulling a Marshawn Thursday, I guess I might as well go full on rapist and start Chris Ivory and see what happens.

King Hippo

oh snap, it shoulda been 3 to the good!

litre_cola

Should have but that was a dreadful pass.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks to injuries, bye weeks, and my own managerial competence levels, I need to choose between Marqise Lee and Kendall Wright today. WHO YA GOT?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Matt Forte could also be in the mix but I’m assuming Bilal Powell gets more totes.

King Hippo

you assume rite

King Hippo

Christ and Sonny Jeebus, I’d go with Lee.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Worked out for the Crow. I mean, not for him…

King Hippo

Hey, at least the Redshite are down and have been since the 4th minute. I shall takes what I can gets.

bk109

I humbly disagree.. The match should end with either a *boring* draw or a meteor strike 😀 .. fat chance at 2-0 down that ‘pool can fight back.. Klopp getting sacked soon too?

litre_cola

THey love him he is not going anywhere for the rest of the year.

bk109

Can someone check up on King Hippo? The Everton game may’ve pushed him over the edge .. Also ‘olla

King Hippo

It was most displeasing. Arsene felt so fookin’ sorry for us, he didn’t even throw Giroud on.

You know you’re shite when your keeper lets in five and is still your runaway MotM.

bk109

If it makes you feel any better, I joined the rousing rendition of “Yer getting sacked in the morning” of the home supporters 😀

King Hippo

Strangely, it really does.

JustStopDude

Hmmmm…watch the Browns shit all over my TV screen or go to a Jewish Food Festival?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It bet it’s more expensive to get tickets for the Jewish Food Festival than it would be to get actual tickets for the Browns game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just realized how that might have sounded, and I assure you, it had nothing to do with the “Jewish” part and everything to do with the “the Browns are terrible and nobody in their right minds would pay good money to see them”. Not even Jews.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. Lowest price is $6.50. Highest price (50 yard line Row 1) is $100.

bk109

100$ … Add another 0 there ‘n’ I’ll be willing to attend a Browns game.. Two 0’s and I’ll watch it stone cold sober

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The really cheap seats are in “no alcohol” sections. Could you imagine watching a Browns game without alcohol? It’s be like getting invited to go for a ride on a submarine with no air.

King Hippo

it doesn’t specify no heroin, rite?

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