So it’s come to this. The truest of the tests of your football fanhood. This one is such a stinker I feel as though it should be played in London. The thing is, it doesn’t even have that “I can drink in the morning and still pretend to feel good about myself” (East Coast bias) aura about it. At least make it a division game between some bottom dwellers-that shouldn’t be too hard. But no. I’ve half a notion to pick up Kenyon Drake and plop him on to my fantasy team so that I’ve got some sort of rooting interest in this. Still, there’s a job to be done. [sigh of resignation] TO THE GAME!*
Miami/Baltimore: The cat tower has been installed on the Fins sideline and you best believe that it’s not a no-smoking zone. It appears that Jay won’t be chasing squirrels for at least a week or two. That’s backup Matt Moore stumbling into the breach once again. Last year he won a few games after Tanneyhill went down and got them into the playoffs. Last week he threw a few TD’s in the fourth to vanquish the Jets. He’s regarded as a positive presence on the team/in the locker room. Why? The consensus is it’s because he “Dooooooooooes Caaaaaaaaare”. The reason he’s still not trusted to run the team full time is because he has 32 interceptions and 17 fumbles in fairly limited playing time since 2011. Ouch! If rb Ajayi and his 442 rushing yards and ZERO! TD’s (thanks a lot!) can get going perhaps the Fins can pretend that they’re not last in total offence and scoring. LOADED QUESTION ALERT: Who do you think is the 31st? Them Black Birds, that’s who. A large amount of focus has turned towards the room temperature milk-swilling wunderbread qb Joseph Flacco and his 7th-highest salary. Why hasn’t he miracle-whipped this team into shape? It may have something to do with 3 rb’s, 3 te’s and 4 O-linemen having been taken out of the offensive equation.
Do your thingy.
*the exclamation point is for decoration only-it is not a signifier of excitement in this circumstance
Punter is the Ravens’ emergency QB. We might actually get to see that.
Go State!
BTW, Sharkbait…did you wanna be in HRTN? I have a character in mind…
(And “no” is an acceptable answer if not. As is “Hell, no!” and “Ha! Not in a million years!” and “Fat chance, you psycho, I’m not gonna be part of your weird DFO fanfic!” But “Yes” is cool, too)
SAY YES!!!! KISS HIM!!!!!
Do I make my debut tomorrow?
Next week. Tomorrow is the last Horror chapter.
Cowher and Sanders can eat a bag of smashed assholes.
Correction; they can each eat all the bags of smashed assholes.
What sucks more:
A) The fact I’m at work until 6am
B) The Dolphins offense
C) The fact I had to start Matt Moore in a league
Of all that? Probably C.
Let’s just say you’ve got options….?
“Yes” would have been an acceptable answer
Joe Flacco’s current short-term memory?
But who are we kidding? What’s happening in Joe Flacco’s life that’s worth remembering anyway?
He’s fine.
He’s probably working his way through his usual post game tub of unflavored greek yogurt.
He will instinctively find the Wonder Bread and low-fat mayo, all’s well that ends well, just like Forrest Gump
Punt. Gif. Repeat.
NAWT fair that Tampa has a guy named “Point;” of course he’s going to score!
Looks like the refs agree and are doing some creative penalty calling to make up for these name-based imbalances.
seppuku…sounding better and better
This is getting ugly. Who’s more likely to finish this game: Suh or Moore?
I’m sorry – Jay Feely, kicking “expert”?
I think by the end of this season Montreal will look, if this is even possible, even more incompetent for trading away Sergachev for Drouin. They should take a vote for Montreal to be independent of the NHL and see what happens then.
/Heard there’ve been a lot of punts?
I understood none of that. Guys, I think we have a Russkie bot here.
Stalin was not such bad guy,
nyetno?Strong Leader!!
A “Big Picture ” kinda guy.
Such a smart guy, the best, could count WAY past 6 million.
HR visionary – “No person, no problem!”
Counterpoint: French guy.
One more punt. One more gif:
Checking out Alonso’ wife’s Twitter might be fun. She’s got quite the temper herself.
Whats her handle?
@Myhusbandisapsychokiller
I’m wrong. It was Mike Grimes’ wife Miko who was the crazy one.
Life makes more sense with Miami back to poo again
I giggled.
Mallet-Down? Jesus. Flush the bombers, seal the mountain and take us to DEFCON ONE.
Ray Lewis up in the press box sharpening knives.
For God?
“Watching that hit, I sure am glad I never played football”
– Trent Green
All those fuckos on Twitter I had to read better accept what’s about to happen.
YOU WANTED MALLETT? YOU FUCKING GOT HIM!
So…RIP Matt Moore on the next drive…
(Just tuned in, so if they’re down to the water boy by now, him instead)
/David Fales drives home at 2:00 warning
I’d be okay with lending Wayne Simmonds to Baltimore for the next few plays
Odds the Raven’s try to return the favor to Moore?
Who wants a fine for hitting him?
T-Sizzle ain’t care.
(wrong placement)
We want Fales!
RayRay will pay it, and double it for your trouble
You pay your own lawyer fees though.
Dolphins win 21-20
No ejection for that?
Right? WTF?
Elite concussion
Goddamn. Can Goodell levy an execution?
He just might try. CHRIST.
I wouldn’t want to be Matt Moore in the 2nd half.
Jesus, on the replay that is fucking ridiculous
Flacco ordering pizza at the end there.
Holy Crap. Damn.
Wow, that was a damn HIT.
DED
Flacco thinks HE’S Trent Green after that shot.
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!
Holy Fuck.
Ah, SHANKL’HOR, that fickle goddess, makes her presence felt.
David Fales is the perfect backup for Matt Moore.
We want Fales
wait, so the Yanks seriously shitcanned Girardi?
Well, they did it while wearing Groucho glasses, but…
I think it was at least a somewhat mutual parting.
Stupid move on the Yanks’ part tho, presuming Girardi was open to extending and not being unreasonable in his contract demands.
A new guy could lose that team in a hurry next spring.
Next manager for the Nationals I reckon.
By Zeus’s beard, how was the basedballk game last night more excite than this shitshow?
It did not involve the Dolphins.
everybody loves a long Tucker FG right?
I’m laughing so hard right now I can’t even craft the joke as it deserves.
LMFAO
Boyle? Puttin’on the gif…
Gotta admit, with that start I was hoping that was going somewhere besides some dumb story about Irish dancing.
That was a great anecdote about the Irish step dancing. Nantz is far better when not with Pheeeeel
So Justice League has a worse cover of Heroes than Godzilla did. Will it defy the odds and somehow be a worse movie than Godzilla as well? Also, how the fuck did Godzilla get two major single releases?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrSyrOaoAug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm_zXG72pdk
Well, Godzilla had to Break Bad after trying to snuff Ferris Bueller.
Mm. ‘Nother suparero movie. Yay.
Punt = gif.
HAI there!
Holy fuck.
oh, Fins. You gon’ punt like merde, you gon’ have a bad time.
Anyone watching the college game via stream? I can’t get it.
Justin Tucker….he kinda good.
finally justifying my DFO reach draft position
Wow. Emperor Cheetolini ain’t gonna like that.
What’d I miss?
Pro-impeachment ad. Was it not national?
Not shown here in NoVA.
Guess not national.
Oh, wait, I’m watching NFL Network.
me too
Same.
Wow, really? I was over on the college game so dunno if it was run here or not. But I hope it was national.
Missed it! Not sure if it was shown here in Western Idaho or not…
Did not air here. I am disappointed.
I’m aware of the campaign, but I am not sure Steyer’s political instincts are very good on this one (also think ads just run in CA). Let Meuller do his work and don’t give the clownshow any ammo.
Pretty much. Mueller is well up the chain on his interviews now, and the screws are being put to Manafort. As long as we don’t nuke NK, we’ll be having hearings that make Watergate look like traffic court.
agreed. I trust the man’s integrity and what he’s doing. Don’t want anyone acting like we are pre-judging or “working the refs” (which is not really a good analogy but straegically I think it’s premature).
No we won’t. Trump will be President until 2025 unless he dies in office, which is most likely given how he’s a fat, old, lazy piece of shit.
I don’t know, putting the idea of”impeachment” into the minds of easily suggestible meatheads lays a good foundation.
Wow, Stanford boy could have unloaded there. Why’d he pull up like that?
oh shit, Beavers even have a white RB. No wonder they’s 0-4 in conference
One more punt? Here you go.