Your “OOF! We Got A Ripe One Over Here!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

So it’s come to this. The truest of the tests of your football fanhood. This one is such a stinker I feel as though it should be played in London. The thing is, it doesn’t even have that “I can drink in the morning and still pretend to feel good about myself” (East Coast bias) aura about it. At least make it a division game between some bottom dwellers-that shouldn’t be too hard. But no. I’ve half a notion to pick up Kenyon Drake and plop him on to my fantasy team so that I’ve got some sort of rooting interest in this. Still, there’s a job to be done. [sigh of resignation] TO THE GAME!*

Miami/Baltimore: The cat tower has been installed on the Fins sideline and you best believe that it’s not a no-smoking zone. It appears that Jay won’t be chasing squirrels for at least a week or two. That’s backup Matt Moore stumbling into the breach once again. Last year he won a few games after Tanneyhill went down and got them into the playoffs. Last week he threw a few TD’s in the fourth to vanquish the Jets. He’s regarded as a positive presence on the team/in the locker room. Why? The consensus is it’s because he “Dooooooooooes Caaaaaaaaare”. The reason he’s still not trusted to run the team full time is because he has 32 interceptions and 17 fumbles in fairly limited playing time since 2011. Ouch! If rb Ajayi and his 442 rushing yards and ZERO! TD’s (thanks a lot!) can get going perhaps the Fins can pretend that they’re not last in total offence and scoring. LOADED QUESTION ALERT: Who do you think is the 31st? Them Black Birds, that’s who. A large amount of focus has turned towards the room temperature milk-swilling wunderbread qb Joseph Flacco and his 7th-highest salary. Why hasn’t he miracle-whipped this team into shape? It may have something to do with 3 rb’s, 3 te’s and 4 O-linemen having been taken out of the offensive equation.

Do your thingy.

 

*the exclamation point is for decoration only-it is not a signifier of excitement in this circumstance

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Croooow

Punter is the Ravens’ emergency QB. We might actually get to see that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Spur

Go State!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

BTW, Sharkbait…did you wanna be in HRTN? I have a character in mind…

(And “no” is an acceptable answer if not. As is “Hell, no!” and “Ha! Not in a million years!” and “Fat chance, you psycho, I’m not gonna be part of your weird DFO fanfic!” But “Yes” is cool, too)

theeWeeBabySeamus

SAY YES!!!! KISS HIM!!!!!

Sharkbait

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Sharkbait

Do I make my debut tomorrow?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Next week. Tomorrow is the last Horror chapter.

LemonJello

Cowher and Sanders can eat a bag of smashed assholes.

Correction; they can each eat all the bags of smashed assholes.

Sharkbait

What sucks more:

A) The fact I’m at work until 6am

B) The Dolphins offense

C) The fact I had to start Matt Moore in a league

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Of all that? Probably C.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s just say you’ve got options….?

Sharkbait

“Yes” would have been an acceptable answer

King Hippo

Joe Flacco’s current short-term memory?

theeWeeBabySeamus

But who are we kidding? What’s happening in Joe Flacco’s life that’s worth remembering anyway?

He’s fine.

LemonJello

He’s probably working his way through his usual post game tub of unflavored greek yogurt.

King Hippo

He will instinctively find the Wonder Bread and low-fat mayo, all’s well that ends well, just like Forrest Gump

LemonJello

Punt. Gif. Repeat.
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herodotus450

NAWT fair that Tampa has a guy named “Point;” of course he’s going to score!

herodotus450

Looks like the refs agree and are doing some creative penalty calling to make up for these name-based imbalances.

King Hippo

seppuku…sounding better and better

Mother Puncher

This is getting ugly. Who’s more likely to finish this game: Suh or Moore?

Beerguyrob

I’m sorry – Jay Feely, kicking “expert”?

herodotus450

I think by the end of this season Montreal will look, if this is even possible, even more incompetent for trading away Sergachev for Drouin. They should take a vote for Montreal to be independent of the NHL and see what happens then.
/Heard there’ve been a lot of punts?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I understood none of that. Guys, I think we have a Russkie bot here.

herodotus450

Stalin was not such bad guy, nyet no?

King Hippo

Strong Leader!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

A “Big Picture ” kinda guy.

herodotus450

Such a smart guy, the best, could count WAY past 6 million.

King Hippo

HR visionary – “No person, no problem!”

Beerguyrob

Counterpoint: French guy.

LemonJello

One more punt. One more gif:
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Beerguyrob

Checking out Alonso’ wife’s Twitter might be fun. She’s got quite the temper herself.

litre_cola

Whats her handle?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

@Myhusbandisapsychokiller

Beerguyrob

I’m wrong. It was Mike Grimes’ wife Miko who was the crazy one.

King Hippo

Life makes more sense with Miami back to poo again

theeWeeBabySeamus

I giggled.

LemonJello

Mallet-Down? Jesus. Flush the bombers, seal the mountain and take us to DEFCON ONE.

Beerguyrob

Ray Lewis up in the press box sharpening knives.

Mr. Ayo

For God?

King Hippo

“Watching that hit, I sure am glad I never played football”

– Trent Green

Beerguyrob

All those fuckos on Twitter I had to read better accept what’s about to happen.

YOU WANTED MALLETT? YOU FUCKING GOT HIM!

Petronel

So…RIP Matt Moore on the next drive…

(Just tuned in, so if they’re down to the water boy by now, him instead)

King Hippo

/David Fales drives home at 2:00 warning

Gratliff

I’d be okay with lending Wayne Simmonds to Baltimore for the next few plays

LemonJello

Odds the Raven’s try to return the favor to Moore?

Mr. Ayo

Who wants a fine for hitting him?

Beerguyrob

T-Sizzle ain’t care.

King Hippo

(wrong placement)

litre_cola

We want Fales!

King Hippo

RayRay will pay it, and double it for your trouble

deviantBastard

You pay your own lawyer fees though.

litre_cola

Dolphins win 21-20

Croooow

No ejection for that?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Right? WTF?

Mr. Ayo

Elite concussion

Gratliff

Goddamn. Can Goodell levy an execution?

King Hippo

He just might try. CHRIST.

I wouldn’t want to be Matt Moore in the 2nd half.

King Hippo

Jesus, on the replay that is fucking ridiculous

Beerguyrob

Flacco ordering pizza at the end there.

Croooow

Holy Crap. Damn.

Petronel

Wow, that was a damn HIT.

Gratliff

DED

LemonJello

Flacco thinks HE’S Trent Green after that shot.

King Hippo

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

litre_cola

Holy Fuck.

LemonJello

Ah, SHANKL’HOR, that fickle goddess, makes her presence felt.

litre_cola

David Fales is the perfect backup for Matt Moore.

litre_cola

We want Fales

King Hippo

wait, so the Yanks seriously shitcanned Girardi?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, they did it while wearing Groucho glasses, but…

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think it was at least a somewhat mutual parting.
Stupid move on the Yanks’ part tho, presuming Girardi was open to extending and not being unreasonable in his contract demands.

A new guy could lose that team in a hurry next spring.

litre_cola

Next manager for the Nationals I reckon.

LemonJello

By Zeus’s beard, how was the basedballk game last night more excite than this shitshow?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It did not involve the Dolphins.

King Hippo

everybody loves a long Tucker FG right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

everybody loves a long Tucker

I’m laughing so hard right now I can’t even craft the joke as it deserves.
LMFAO

Spanky Datass

Boyle? Puttin’on the gif…
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theeWeeBabySeamus

“The daughter of his HS coach told him….”

Gotta admit, with that start I was hoping that was going somewhere besides some dumb story about Irish dancing.

litre_cola

That was a great anecdote about the Irish step dancing. Nantz is far better when not with Pheeeeel

Gratliff

So Justice League has a worse cover of Heroes than Godzilla did. Will it defy the odds and somehow be a worse movie than Godzilla as well? Also, how the fuck did Godzilla get two major single releases?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrSyrOaoAug

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm_zXG72pdk

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, Godzilla had to Break Bad after trying to snuff Ferris Bueller.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Mm. ‘Nother suparero movie. Yay.

LemonJello

Punt = gif.
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King Hippo

HAI there!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy fuck.

King Hippo

oh, Fins. You gon’ punt like merde, you gon’ have a bad time.

litre_cola

Anyone watching the college game via stream? I can’t get it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Justin Tucker….he kinda good.

King Hippo

finally justifying my DFO reach draft position

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow. Emperor Cheetolini ain’t gonna like that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

What’d I miss?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pro-impeachment ad. Was it not national?

LemonJello

Not shown here in NoVA.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Guess not national.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, wait, I’m watching NFL Network.

King Hippo

me too

LemonJello

Same.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, really? I was over on the college game so dunno if it was run here or not. But I hope it was national.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Missed it! Not sure if it was shown here in Western Idaho or not…

Croooow

Did not air here. I am disappointed.

King Hippo

I’m aware of the campaign, but I am not sure Steyer’s political instincts are very good on this one (also think ads just run in CA). Let Meuller do his work and don’t give the clownshow any ammo.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pretty much. Mueller is well up the chain on his interviews now, and the screws are being put to Manafort. As long as we don’t nuke NK, we’ll be having hearings that make Watergate look like traffic court.

King Hippo

agreed. I trust the man’s integrity and what he’s doing. Don’t want anyone acting like we are pre-judging or “working the refs” (which is not really a good analogy but straegically I think it’s premature).

Unsurprised

No we won’t. Trump will be President until 2025 unless he dies in office, which is most likely given how he’s a fat, old, lazy piece of shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know, putting the idea of”impeachment” into the minds of easily suggestible meatheads lays a good foundation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, Stanford boy could have unloaded there. Why’d he pull up like that?

King Hippo

oh shit, Beavers even have a white RB. No wonder they’s 0-4 in conference

LemonJello

One more punt? Here you go.
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