With all due apologies to Rikki-Tikki-Deady and Al Davis’ Re-Animated Corpse….
….for that post title. Mostly because I don’t want either showing up here uninvited.
And also my apologies for my opinion below of how this game tonight is apt to go.
Please don’t cannibalize me in my sleep tonight.
That goes for you too, Al.
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Oakland @ Miami (+3.0, o/u 44.5)
OK, so neither of these teams is particularly inspiring any feelings of fear in their opponents recently, so something’s gotta give.
I’m not even going to discuss the Raiders’ D. Yikes. And offensively, they are a team with a battered and probably still in pain QB who has been humbled a bit recently, and three very mediocre backs. How do I know they’re all mediocre (at best)? Because they’ve all been on my freaking FF roster over the past two weeks. Like seriously, all of them. One of them twice (no shit lol).
I finally pulled the trigger and cut Lynch after his stupidity of pushing the official and picked up Washington. Mostly because I thought he had the higher ceiling and that someone with higher waiver priority than me would likely snap up Richard ahead of me anyway. They didn’t. So then I had second thoughts and dropped Washington for Richard. Then that didn’t work out so well (lol) so I dropped him and picked Washington back up. He’s starting for me tonight, in fact. smgdh.
tl:dr : Fuck you Oakland backfield!!!!!
Miami ain’t so hot neither, though. I know, that’s not news. But they’re probably still solid enough on D to pretty much contain the stable of mediocrity thrown at them tonight. And offensively, they do have the potential to at least put some points on the board now, especially if Cutler can find his way back to being even moderately effective. The bar isn’t terribly high, Jay. You can do it. Even without Ajayi. Especially against this Oakland D, I suspect.
So, what’s it all mean?
Well, if King Hippo has any money left in his bank accounts before this one kicks off, I’d advise him take the points and the ‘Phins in this one, if only because of home field and the Raiders have literally been on the road for two weeks. Also, probably take the under (lol).
Then again, I’m wrong a lot.
WHEN: 8:30pmEST
WHERE: Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, FL
TV: NBC
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Alright, let’s get this one snapped alr…..
Shit. Gimme a mulligan on that one, would ya?
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arise, Dolphins!!
Please tell me there will be a PF Chang’s in that new stadium
That’s probably all there will be. And a hair salon.
Very close to dethroning Brocky in DFO ball, though.
I imagine DFOball is like Calvinball but sexier.
I mean, Hobbes never wore pants either
Great. That’ll give him something else to bitch to the gods about I guess.
That’s enough out of Cutler. He and Ameer Abdullah going off are the only way I lose this week
I pity the man who has to play against a quarterback facing the Raiders pass defense.
Anthony Fasano is Still alive?
Wait. Was that a Jason Taylor Dolphins mascot?
Took an indica gummy for the first time ever last night. It was about the same as a shot of NyQuil. Was a little underwhelmed. Got it from a dispensary, did i just get some bunk shit, or is this normal? That was my first time using cannabis of any type.
Take 5 and listen to Dark Side of the Moon
Don’t do that, well, the five part…. do listen to Dark Side of the Moon
I saw them on the Animals tour in 1976 at the University of Houston stadium in the rain after I ate 13 mushrooms. No regrets.
I just want the Col. the enjoy it.
At one point in 1976 “Let’s try the new acid in town [takes one hit]….. “This isn’t strong at all; I don’t feel any buzz, let’s take another one. [one minute later] “Oh shit!”
Can confirm.
It takes a few times and some experimentation to figure out the effects and types you prefer.
Just watch the end of 2001 A Space Odyssey and try to act normally.
ugh, NOT LANDRY
Hate the Landry?
YES. I am top scorer in the League, but still on precipice of losing now. To League’s biggest asshole (and Dolfan homer, who else would be starting Landry and Parker both?) 155 (Drake) to 139 (Landry, Parker, Cook) now.
I need Parker to develop narcolepsy immediately if I am to hold off Dok.
It would also help out a lot if the Raiders would let Washington play.
That’s the Drake we all know and LOVE!
Would have been more fun in Vegas
JESUS CHRIST
YOU GET A FLAG! AND YOU GET A FLAG!!!
FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!!!!
I bet on this team. To succeed.
Teh kids better get a full scholarship.
“No Christmas presents this year, kids. But this house is full of love, and that’s all we need!”
sadly, they know the street value of my love is about 6 cents. Canadian
2nd and 25, who do these Dolphins think they are, the Raiders?
They made a sequel to Space Mutiny?
We just need two long LOVE THE DRAKE rushing scores, put this to bed for Hippo
When did they put a roof on the Miami stadium (it’s had twenty names I don’t know what they call it now). That roof looks like an open-air stayed tarp – what the fuck do they do in a hurricane?
So I don’t remember if I made a joke about it on DFO Insider or not, but I was at least planning to have them talk about recasting the movie “Crazy Rich Asians” with white people. Lo and behold in real life the writer (of the original books) was asked by the studio how he’d feel if they changed the main character to a white female.
Where’s twbs’ SMH gif when you need it?
I don’t think the Dunge is quite comfortable with all this talk about RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!
Past his bedtime. He’s tired of hanging around.
He needs his hanging upside-down in the attic time.
I think Sebastian Janikowski can safely retire now.
For the record, I’m not pleased this dickhead in Texas has my given name as his middle, and both associate with the Air Force.
I’m interested to see if there is any reaction or other message from SecAF or AFCoS in my inbox when I get into the office tomorrow morning.
I heard he had a dirty discharge.
I’ll throw down money it involves sex crimes. Like rape or child porn my guess.
These white mass shooters always seem to be into kiddie porn.
“Hey I’m not a mass shooter!”
– Brad Childress
Speaking of dirty discharges, time for my meds!
There you go. Bad conduct discharge after domestic violence court martial and 12 months confinement.
A Fucking Miracle, Cooper caught a pass.
Ok Cooper, can you get a pass? in your hands?
I want to bury you in a shallow grave after Aaron Rodgers has his “fun” with you.
BLEERGH feasts tonight.
Next, Al Michaels weighs in on stop-&-frisk policies.
Jay Cutler also has some thoughts on frisking policy in the United States.
I know it’s cat food, but lamb in “clam” juice?
Cats love it because two animals died for each delicious mouthful. Oh yeah.
This made me smile, which is why I am a cat person. HUZZAH, EVIL!!
Oh my god I do not want to hear constitutional arguments in my football broadcast.
Furthermore, the league should love the distraction as everyone is freaking out over the fucking flag as opposed to I don’t know…the fact this game is so fucking brutal you have to be an idiot to ever let your kid play.
We’ve replaced all the Miami Dolphins players with human-sized figures made entirely out of grease. Let’s see if the Raiders defense notices.
I need to know more about this.
I really like the “Don’t fucking touch me!”
I think it’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?
Well, I know Arayane there got 60% of the votes.
Lu Schiervane was a 38 year old singer that was eliminated by Arayane Steinkopf, a model known for her booty, in the 6th season of the Brazilian game show A Fazenda.
Lu was not a good sport and was jealous of Arayane’s good looks.
Doesn’t everyone know this?
Ooooohhhh…“Lu” Schiervane!
The show was not about talent.
That was NOT COOPER
I’m watching a rerun of UFC’s preliminary fights from last night instead of Miami-Oakland and I think I made the right decision.
Are they actually sanctioned fights or is it just meatheads swinging at each other in the parking lot before the main event?
I’d watch that
The Adventures of Young Harvey Weinstein is rated NC-17
I think they’d prefer Alien Tongue over HW.
The ones I’m watching are sanctioned but I’m not ruling out column B for later.
Insurmountable lead
Seems like a good time to start a new show. Is The Leftovers any good?
if you use the toaster oven to heat the pizza instead of the microwave then yeah, they should be pretty good.
DAMN YOU!!!
Just don’t heat them too long; they’ll dry out.
Did you like Lost? Are you willing to take a chance that all the “mysteries” in the show are just writers writing themselves into corners? If the answer is yes, then sure, roll the dice.
I tapped out on Lost 6 episodes in. Judging by the reaction to the ending, I made the right choice.
No try . Atlanta, The Americans, Mr Robot. The Handmaiden’s Tale
Already two seasons in on the Americans. May as well see how long until it all falls apart.
did you watch stranger things? master of none?
Arrested development or Freaks and Geeks? Just asking.
I’ve already seen Scrubs and Parks & Rec. There’s no need to voluntarily add more Aziz Ansari to my life.
That Thursday game:
“I was just kidding Ref”….interesting…
Crabtree and Cook are NOT Cooper
Think he was kidding around?
The Raiders defense has not had a single interception yet this season (it’s an NFL record). You’d think playing against Cutler would be the perfect medicine, but they won’t get one tonight either.
This is a shitshow. HOw long until there’s something watchable on Sundays again?
Well, that was a waste of a fun trick play.
What the fuck just happened? I went to go smoke after the touchdown and somehow Miami only has six points and the ball back….
I felt the same way right before halftime of the KC-Dallas game.
NFL Voice: What if I told you that a team’s defense tried to make every tackle in a game without using their arms?
I thought daylight savings went an hour back, not a DAY ahead!
No Cris, that’s Adam Gase saying “Fuck it! Why not!”
Wow. Unless you were in onsides formation, that seems like that would be pretty much impossible to stop.
Hippo might get to keep his thumbs!!
As I told the Yakuza, things are overrated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF5ZMf2_EbI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTmyD-_pMVU
Sneaky!