With all due apologies to Rikki-Tikki-Deady and Al Davis’ Re-Animated Corpse….
….for that post title. Mostly because I don’t want either showing up here uninvited.
And also my apologies for my opinion below of how this game tonight is apt to go.
Please don’t cannibalize me in my sleep tonight.
That goes for you too, Al.
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Oakland @ Miami (+3.0, o/u 44.5)
OK, so neither of these teams is particularly inspiring any feelings of fear in their opponents recently, so something’s gotta give.
I’m not even going to discuss the Raiders’ D. Yikes. And offensively, they are a team with a battered and probably still in pain QB who has been humbled a bit recently, and three very mediocre backs. How do I know they’re all mediocre (at best)? Because they’ve all been on my freaking FF roster over the past two weeks. Like seriously, all of them. One of them twice (no shit lol).
I finally pulled the trigger and cut Lynch after his stupidity of pushing the official and picked up Washington. Mostly because I thought he had the higher ceiling and that someone with higher waiver priority than me would likely snap up Richard ahead of me anyway. They didn’t. So then I had second thoughts and dropped Washington for Richard. Then that didn’t work out so well (lol) so I dropped him and picked Washington back up. He’s starting for me tonight, in fact. smgdh.
tl:dr : Fuck you Oakland backfield!!!!!
Miami ain’t so hot neither, though. I know, that’s not news. But they’re probably still solid enough on D to pretty much contain the stable of mediocrity thrown at them tonight. And offensively, they do have the potential to at least put some points on the board now, especially if Cutler can find his way back to being even moderately effective. The bar isn’t terribly high, Jay. You can do it. Even without Ajayi. Especially against this Oakland D, I suspect.
So, what’s it all mean?
Well, if King Hippo has any money left in his bank accounts before this one kicks off, I’d advise him take the points and the ‘Phins in this one, if only because of home field and the Raiders have literally been on the road for two weeks. Also, probably take the under (lol).
Then again, I’m wrong a lot.
WHEN: 8:30pmEST
WHERE: Hard Rock Stadium, Miami, FL
TV: NBC
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Alright, let’s get this one snapped alr…..
Shit. Gimme a mulligan on that one, would ya?
–
I sacrificed my survivor pool for this win. I’m glad the Raiders won, but I can’t believe how unsatisfying this feels.
The last Dolphins touchdown drive was 5 plays, 83 yards, and took 22 seconds. That’s astonishing.
and I would have lost in my money league by 1 goddamned point had Landry or Parker caught it. Garbage time is terrifying in fantasy and gambling.
Happy hippo? The only thing I possibly can look forward to all week, and it’s gone
Its like a kid getting a puppy for Christmas. All your siblings get one too, but I know mine is better.
Then a freak accident happens where a steamroller crashes through the living room and only my puppy gets crushed……
WHAT THE HELL DID MY PUPPY DO TO YOU?
pissed on mah lawn, prolly. I shall ask Kruger (teh cat).
/I lost $518 gambling this weekend, if any consolation (but 2-0 in fantasy WOO!)
woulda pushed had I just bet instead of moneylined. SIGH
Love the Drake!
inorite??
No big deal. Only need to recover an onside kick. Again.
Fading Parker/Landry VERY HARD now in money league. UGH
Nawt a bawble.
Call it a catch so we can keep watching
C’mon drake. Fumble the ball. You can do it!
kneel downs would do it if not for 2-pointer
Goddammit.
Holy damn. What a catch….maybe
WTF? Did Darren Bevell take over play calling for the Raiders?
garbage time pickerception will make me lose to Brocky unless I get another Drake checkdown
Could screw me too if they give Parker too much room.
Yeah….like that.
Ughh….
Medieval Knievel?
God’s plan after he hears Brocky bought a dirtbike?
For once, I agree with Cris. Do we have to go back through his career?
You motherfuckers. Get down there with Washington on the field, don’t give him a touch, then fuck him in the ass and put Lynch back in.
You watching Larry? This is what happens….
Maybe Gase should bring in a dominatrix since he sure as shit isn’t getting his team to learn discipline
I bet Bob McNair would pay to beat off in the corner when the whip came out
I need one checkdown to Drake, then a bunch of Parker/Landry avoidance so I can sleep. Bad enough I am 1-6 in money gambling, at least don’t fuck me at the finish line in fantasy too.
“So, they just handed the ball to Lynch in a goal line situation? You can DO that?” ==– Pete C.
Hand to heart, you would not believe the number of Raider fans that were screaming for the team to cut Marshawn when he got suspended.
Wait, they are Raiders fans. Of course you believe it.
70%?
I thought it would have sounded like tbis.
“I do say, that Mr. Lynch behaved in an uncouth manner towards the zebra last week. I believe that Mr. Davis would be justified in making his roster spot redundant. Oh, Jose (waiters name is actually David), another Manhattan.”
Unless DFO has been lying to me.
Did ya’ll see that US flag that had a Dolphins logo and Miami Colours? Screen shot that and send it to the Donald. Maybe we’ll get lucky and the Dolphins will be sent to Gitmo
Wow, Fins really got fucked on that facemask.
PLEASE don’t throw to Cook.
Mueller haz indictment of flynns soon?! Sweet. NBC saying so.
he has “enough” to indict, word is papa is singing to protect his idiot spawn
LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!
(sigh) Yes, Cris, Tom Brady is the only QB who ever thought to snap the ball quickly after an iffy play to avoid replay.
To be fair, Tom Brady is the only one who got the benefit of referees saying “What? What?” and pretending not to understand the opposing coach who was screaming for a challenge.
Was this Carr start expected? I thought he was out until December. Did he get super soldier serum?
? He only missed one game.
Really? Yeah, I don’t really follow the NFL as much as I used to. Given how much they struggled, I guess he should have missed more.
He was originally announced as 4-6 wks IIRC.
I didn’t expect much from this game and it has delivered.
Didn’t even watch, and I’m a better man for it.
Welcome to Dolphins fandom
Have your favorite beer. . . But lukewarm
Landshark?! Who drinks that?
I’m enjoying watching Lynch. Maybe if the Raiders’ receivers could, you know, receive the damn ball….
Who’s gonna drop a perfect Carr pass this time? I think it’s Cook’s turn.
Sad trombone
How is this not covering?
Since it seems to happen so much, maybe they should reduce the offensive holding penalty walkoff to 5 yards.
Every even decent play, these shits are holding
Cooper noe I gots money on dis
Are cigars a positive Cuban stereotype?
depends on the circumference
Si!!!
—William Jefferson Clinton
awwww, Kiko try to be all tricky
That were pretty pointless, Jay. Do you not noe ppl bet on these fixtures?
SUH GOT AN OWIE
I’d feel bad for the guy, but it’s Suh
True dat. That dude caused more owies than barbed wire.
Now make Drake happen. Get to the touchdown place without involving improper ppl, Catler. Help out a crazy cat person
I guess taking the penalty was the right choice.
FAT GUY CHAOS!!!!!!!
he got it FOAR free ,, imo godbless
Disclaimer needed: “The number you have dialed is no longer in service.”
I was excited for a minute there!
Damn, my ex-wife answered.
She’s my ex’s lawyer? I KNEW I recognized that voice.
Sumo rumble!
That’s my Raiders! Two fumbles on one play!
That lineman’s dream of running that fumble back ended abruptly.
Is it in the rules how long you have to change your mind on that?
Oh good, someone on the Internets finally got to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_zSW7qLgls
Much to the surprise of my neighbors, my moving one house to the right plan to reset my clocks hasn’t worked. Probably for the best. Their tastes are questionable. ASPIRIN?! ROCK HUDSON DORIS DAY PORN?!
try setting fires, that always works
Rock Hudson porn would be way different from Doris Day porn.
don’t rule anything out, we have that Seal Team Six parody to write/direct/produce, after all
Seal Team Dicks?
Zero dark muddy…buddy.
oh, that’s a wein,,,I mean winner!
Lonesome Doug?
Sorry, took a turn towards TV westerns.
Ben gaping. NEVAR FORGET!
I KNOW! IT’S LIKE THEY GOT PEANUT BUTTER IN MY CHOCOLATE! PICK A SIDE! WHEN I WANT ONE, IT’S ONE OR THE OTHER.
Well, they both liked the Big D.
Now, we must feed the Drake. LOVE the Drake. Do NOT make Hippo lose with 150+ (despite injuries and bye week fill-ins galore), that’s just some weapons-grade bullshit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrQw2TKXq6o
3rd and short is among the many things the Raiders offense have done very poorly at this season.
I wish the Donks were good enough to even start categorizing what we’uns bad at.