Your “This is why we do Color Rush” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Nothing brings excitement to the air like the anticipation of Arizona/Seattle national games!

‘member kickers missing everything in overtime ties? The NFC West ‘members.

The battle for mid-tier rights in a garbage division turns the dial all way up to seven tonight as Russell Wilson and his Duane Brown-reinforced invisible offensive line prepare for a shootout with Adrian Peterson and “The Quarterback Who Held Off BLAINE GABBERT”, Drew Stanton. Aging-but-solid backfields for both squad should provide explosive hits in novelty uniforms and adequate fodder for I HAVEN’T SEEN TWO UGLIES BUMP THIS HARD SINCE _____ takes. So slap on your Kangol and jam an entire Fruit By The Foot into your mouth (just like you jam that Loose Change DVD into your Xbox) and get ready for some football-on-3-days-rest!


This Gen Stat of the Game:

 


Seahawks/Cardinals: Vegas has SEA -5.5 (O/U 41.5). A final score of 18 to 25 seems quite implausible in the modern NFL but it does kind of make sense for these two teams. The redbirds D is a competent matchup for the Seahawks while Arizona’s Drew Stanton-led offense appears (to this sports expert’s surprise) to be alright with focusing on just handing the ball to Adrian Peterson. Seattle (5-3) is a game behind RAMMIT after falling at home to the [*Redacted] s while the Cardinals (4-4) are a paper swan — with half their wins having come against SF –who need to, starting tonight, double-up on SEA and beat RAMMIT during DFO-con to have any real shot at a tie-breaker-based division title playoff birth.


Fantasy Notes: Eddie Lacy is out (groin/overactive chewing) so you’re gonna want to plug n play Thomas Rawls (or, not — ARI has a strong rush D). Dion Jordan is expected to make his first appearance for Seattle because, hey, it’s been a few years since Pete Carroll has gotten some production out of an injury-prone headcase. Only Arizona player worth starting is Peterson so, naturally, I have Fitz plugged in and expect JJ Nelson to record 75% of Drew Stanton 165 yards on the YACs of two passes.


For those of you who aren’t interested in Seizure Rush TNF,  a lean night:

  • JV Football
    • Georgia Southern (0-8) at Appalachian State (5-4) — 7:30PM | ESPNU
    • North Carolina (1-8) at Pittsburgh (4-5) [from Heinz Field] — 7:30PM | ESPN
  • NBA:
    • Cleveland Cavaliers at Houston Rockets — 8:00PM | TNT
    • Oklahoma City Thunder at Denver Nuggets — 10:30PM | TNT
  • Womens Soccer:
    • Canada vs. U.S. — 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • Young Sheldon
    • Poker, Faith, and Eggs — 8:00PM | CBS
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When Roy Moore said he was a huge fan of Jesus, I assumed he meant Jesus of Nazareth, not Jesus Quintana.

JustStopDude

I like how Sean Hannity went on his show to defend him and then chastised the women that spoke out, reminding them the ten commandments say “thou shall not bear false witness.”

Its like the fucker is trying to lose his sponsors all at once…

Sharkbait

Almost as bad as some Reps playing the “Mary was a teenager” card. Maybe not the best strategy for defense.

Romonobyl

Hey Dok? Moose is gonna send you a few files for you to post on his behalf if you would do that please ‘kay? thanks…

Sharkbait

Make sure you have some eye bleach handy

Doktor Zymm

Meh, sure. We can play “Moose pic or Zymm pic” with me intentionally obfuscating things!

Romonobyl

Just don’t ask me to watch you obfuscate.

litre_cola

Site froze on my laptop for an hour. I missed all this self love in front of people action.

JustStopDude

The site doesn’t load automatically.

We are being punished.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

comment image

JustStopDude

Hmmm….

Gratliff

imgur still shit

deviantBastard
Gratliff

Love Lewis Black’s random live Q&A things he does. Just watched him rip the shit out of an audience for booing him for even responding to a question regarding Michigan’s impending “Guns in School” law even though he never even got to the point of expressing an opinion.

Doktor Zymm

OPINIONS ARE FOR ASSHOLES

JustStopDude

Higgins from Magnum PI has died.

No word if he had a secret history of raping people.

Romonobyl

The night is young.

Gratliff

I mean, probably

Spur
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Just in time for the holiday the Louis CK doll! Pull his string and he says three popular phrases!

“Can I jerk off in front of you?”
“Oh God, I’m sorry I’m just in a bad place.”
“It’s okay I’ll just do it in my dressing room alone.”

Doktor Zymm

I mean, he could at least draw a face on it and pretend he was doing a Punch and Judy show

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Mom, why do all these shows end with Punch puking icing?”

Doktor Zymm

Something about the link between domestic violence and substance abuse? The substance in this case being buttercream?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Red-haired rosacea shame glaze”

Romonobyl

I have hardly lived what you would call a sheltered life, but at no point in my colorful past have I ever had the desire to ask a woman to watch me (insert your favorite synonym for masturbation here).

Doktor Zymm

Different strokes for different folks, as they say

litre_cola

God no. I have had a few exes who requested this but I definitely never put it on offer.

Gratliff

Were they into watching gay male porn too?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

For about a year in the 90s, Buddy couldn’t get off the photos of Gino Odjick. It was a different time.

litre_cola

Weirdly enough no. I asked what tgey watched in porn and it was strakght porn or dudes masterbating. Both of the women that requested this.

Gratliff

Okay, so it was an incredibly specific set of fetishes then. Just thought I’d compare notes.

Doktor Zymm

Odd. It’s really not an attractive thing to watch, even, or perhaps especially if it’s someone you’re attracted to and have a relationship with.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Oh yeah, hon, I’m just imagining this hand is you! I even rubbed it in reed diffusers to get the whole essence!”

litre_cola

Yeah. Was back to back.l girlfriends about 5 years ago. I thought it was a ‘thing’. I guess they both just had the same turn ons

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I don’t even like watching me masturbate. I have a paper bag blinder on my screen just for that purpose.

Doktor Zymm

This is the first football related gif that shows up in a GIS for “derp condition”
It probably belongs in the bye week report immediately preceding but meh

Doktor Zymm

Bears are like….the opposite of Antonio Cromartie

Doktor Zymm

Here, just do what this page says for images
https://www.w3schools.com/html/html_images.asp

theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno. I think Scotchy was on drugs.
😉

Doktor Zymm

I’m guess the https thing still applies too?

Romonobyl

Al Gore was right, chicks can do the interwebz!!!

Doktor Zymm

I totally didn’t break Facebook this week! Or last week!

Romonobyl

Apparently Google now has a smartphone out. Can’t say I didn’t see that coming.

deviantBastard

Umm…it’s their 2nd one. They released the Pixel last year.

Doktor Zymm

I have a Pixel now and it’s super annoying that they don’t use regular microUSB for charging. I HAVE SO MANY MICROUSB CABLES

Gratliff

MicroUSB is toast. USB-C doesn’t do shit for data transfer, but it massively increases power transfer. In fact, the new MacBooks have 4 USB-Cs and a headphone jack and THAT’S IT. So prepare for obsolescence.

Romonobyl

So, are you saying I should get rid of my VCR?

Beerguyrob

This just reminds me that I miss MXC.

Sharkbait

img src = “http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/07/ralph-wave.gif”

Sharkbait

Well, that obviously didnt work.

Doktor Zymm

In the weird triangle bracket things. I can’t type them cause they don’t show up cause it reads them as html tags, but it’s the shift . and , buttons

Sharkbait

2 people who dont speak html, trying to describe html. Aren’t we special.

Spur

+1000000000000000000000000

deviantBastard
King Hippo

well, 8 pts is covering. BARELY.

King Hippo

remember, Hippo said 19-7

Petronel

So, now the Truthers need…two safeties?

Romonobyl

¿ɹǝʇʇǝq sıɥʇ sı ¡ʇı pǝxıɟ ı ʞuıɥʇ ı

King Hippo

stroke sequence…initiated!

deviantBastard

+1

Who’s keeping score of the likes?

King Hippo

Herodotus has an abacus going.

herodotus450

Preliminary results:
Low Battery.
Huh.

King Hippo

Huzzah, way to be Drew Stanton.

NOW get me some MOAR points, SeaTruthers.

Doktor Zymm

I guess embed code doesn’t work?

Sharkbait

ZYMM GOT A GIF EMBEDDED! Teach us!

Doktor Zymm

img src = “url” in those triangle brackety things.

Gratliff

WHAT IS CATCH: Loose Change Edition

King Hippo

So…they call that incomplete just because a turnover is too much fuckery?

Sharkbait

[derp condition red.gif]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Upvote.

Romonobyl

Is plaid imminent?

Sharkbait

Plaid would be better than these uniforms.

King Hippo

WOMP WOMP yay HippoBET

Col. Duke LaCross

DERRRRP!

Spur

Does anyone live in Phoenix on purpose?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I know quite a few people that live there. The native-born Phoenicians don’t seem to know any better. The transplants moved there for monetary reasons.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or because their bitch ex wife threw a hissy fit to move closer to her retired and bigger bitch of a mother.
Then got stuck there for longer than anticipated even after everything went to shit.

Hypothetically, of course.

Doktor Zymm

Weird desert people, retirees, and people right out of college who didn’t know better

Romonobyl

This almost makes me wish we were back on UPRO…

/passes out with dart sticking from neck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[imagine a gif of beautiful breasts swaying , barely encapsulated in a flimsy shirt. This should have been posted on Sexy Friday….. but you know]

Petronel

Yo Gabbert Gabbert, owning that Tooth Fairy outfit goddammit.

Doktor Zymm

Also, do the comments not autorefresh anymore?

Sharkbait

Negative. Manual refresh for now

Spur

But that’s what got Louie C.K. in trouble.

deviantBastard

They do. Just press F5.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[imagine a gif that shows someone failing miserably at some physical endeavor, preferably from a rope swing near a pond]

Doktor Zymm

Ouch! That’s gotta smart!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, the YouTube video says he were OK, but what was he trying to accomplish?!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[uses edit button to change “were” to “was.”]

Doktor Zymm

Are there ever YouTube videos where the comments say he really wasn’t okay?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes. “He ded.

King Hippo

FUCK OFF Charmslinger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[imagine me upvoting your comment, hitting it twice more only to get the “You already voted on that, you fucking idiot.” message]

Gratliff

“This is Great.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[imagine weird obscure gif that has nothing to do with game or other comments]

King Hippo

it’s beautiful in my mind, dude

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[imagine me upvoting your comment]

Viva La Tabula Raza

Help me imagine properly, please. Is this gif erotic or bizarre or just plain gross?

Romonobyl

This is becoming tiresome.

Doktor Zymm

!!!! ARE THE COMMENTS BACKWARDS BECAUSE PETE CARROLL IS PLAYING ON 11/9 !!!!

Romonobyl

See, I’d like to LIKE that. Why has thou forsaken me internets????

Gratliff

I’m just thumb-upping at the screen and hoping it gets through

King Hippo

HOLY FUCK we are through the looking glass ppl!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ohhhhh….I see what you did there.
Very nice.

Spur

+1

Sharkbait

Well done.

King Hippo

This motherfucker better be at least 19-7 at the half.

Spur

Haha – I thought this comment was a reply to the Roy Moore post above this.

King Hippo

I assume that has to be about that State Auditor weirdo.

/imagines the Demmycrat who ran against that guy breaking a whole bunch of shit at home this evening.

Doktor Zymm

So, is it even worth hooking up my antenna that I haven’t taken out of the box yet, and hooking it up to watch this game, or should I just unpack a bit more, drink some wine, and check the score every 10 minutes or so until I get bored doing that?

King Hippo

Make sure can get HD on said antenna, or the SeaTruther highlighter unis might blind ya.

herodotus450

It was only 3 minutes for me.
/NOT the first time I’ve heard that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

deviantBastard

I am weirdly disturbed and aroused by this.

King Hippo

please don’t pull it out, Louis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In my experience that is a great combo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Change is not necessarily good. Is this how the comments are going to be or is it a work in progress?

Doktor Zymm

I would ask if it’s me or the comments that are upside down, but I just got home and haven’t even opened the wine yet, so Imma assume it’s the comments

Romonobyl

I’d like to post a snarky but appropriate gif but…

NOOOOOOO!!!!

Spur

It’s part of the new Netflix advertising deal. “Upside Down for whatever”.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So I read the Times article about CK and he’s a fucking weirdo, but he didn’t do anything criminal.

If you didn’t read it, his thing is that he asks women if he can pull his dick out or jerk off in front of them, but if they say no, he doesn’t pursue it further. Two people in the article accepted it when he asked them, and now are saying it was “sexual misconduct” because they didn’t say no.

CK comes off as an absolute creep, but the people who consented to him asking now saying they’re victims is a but much.

Doktor Zymm

Not saying no does not imply consent. There are all sorts of reasons (shock and surprise top among them) why someone might not immediately respond with a firm NO even if they are very much not okay with that.

King Hippo

wait, to explain further what I said below – if the person says YES then I have no problem, you obviously can’t take silence as an excuse to whip it out. Not even marginally ok.

I’d take silence as worse than a “no” quite frankly.

Petronel

And, of course, this assumes that he’s being truthful about not pressuring the women, which may or may not be a disinterested, objective description. (And did he tell them that he’d back off if they said no?)

King Hippo

He might not feel like he’s pressuring, but it’s such a fucking bizarre thing to ask, I can’t imagine a woman wouldn’t feel pressured, at least unless some kind of foundation has been laid first.

Romonobyl

On the same note, I can’t believe there are people that believe a man cannot be accused of raping his wife. It ain’t hard to understand, no means no regardless of circumstances or paperwork from the state. Don’t like it? Get all mopey, go the the bathroom and rub one out, not like it’ll be the first time.
Sorry, but some things get me all soap-boxy.

Gratliff

Wow. This defense of Roy Moore from AL state Auditor Jim Ziegler:"Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus.”https://t.co/IhaWiCEFmq— Aaron Blake (@AaronBlake) November 9, 2017

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Gratliff

So yeah. There’s no amount of awful shit I can’t believe.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Sometimes I think it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Maybe not in this case, though….

King Hippo

so…well-known neurotic weirdo is revealed to be a neurotic weirdo? Film at 11?

Yeah, I can see why that would make people super uncomfortable to even be ASKED, but still…consenting adults is consenting adults and all that. And the LA/NY scene is full of weird casual encounters.

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone who pulls shit like that is an asshole. End of story. Fuck him.

Gratliff

With the floodgates open, I suppose it was inevitable someone I liked would end up being a fucking problem. If even one of them didn’t give consent to it, it’s sexual assault. It’s technically sexual assault if you walk around showing people porn without permission. Have to believe jerking off in front of an unwilling audience gets you on a registry. Either way, it’s definitely the end of his weird vulgar superdad persona.

King Hippo

“Louie” was a fucking groundbreaking show, and a character I really super related to, as a single dad who sucks at everything else in life.

Now I feel icky just thinking about it.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m going off the article, which I assume is true, the comedy duo story is iffy as they don’t say whether they said yes if they were asked or not. I’m not sure where he jerked off in front of an unwilling audience anywhere unless that story is elaborated upon. I guess even the phone call was creepy, but there’s no definitive evidence he was rubbing off while talking on the phone. Apparently there’s even conflicting information compared to the Times article and a Vox article on the topic.

He’s still a fucking weirdo who would be fired from any day job, but taking the article at face value, he hasn’t just jerked off nilly-willy in front of people.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just found out a couple hours ago that two of the people killed in that church shooting on Sunday used to hang out at the wine bar I frequent. Pretty weird to know, hell, I bought my iPod from their son.

Horatio Cornblower

What’s with the new comment set up?

Romonobyl

Double J did this since The League is enforcing Zeke’s “guilty till proven innocent” 6 game ban.

Spur

Russia hacked us.

Petronel

And then he put highlighters on my sideline
BLEERGH is good
Said he put a safety in the end zone
BLEERGH is good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WHERE MOOSE POST GIF NOW??!? MOOSE NO CAN POST GIF!! MOOSE NO LONGER PAWN IN GAME OF LIFE! MOOSE BUG CARCASS ON CAR WINDOW!

Romonobyl

You’re dead to us until Dad fixes things…

Weird, old repressed memories are starting to surface now.

Spur

You’re just going to have to type out your thoughts and feelings.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT!?!? YOU KNOW THIS!?!? I CAN’T EVEN SPEAK THEM.

King Hippo

It’s a safety dance!!

Sharkbait

Safety for the safety gods!

herodotus450

I have the results here of a very complicated computer simulation which predicts the number of “This is Great”s we all would have received tonight based on our comments:
tWBS: 13
Moose: 6
Scotchnaut: 8
Russian Dating Site Spam Bot: 16
Russian Work at Home Spam Bot: 14
Herodotus: 1/0
10 Others: 5 or less
Go ahead and update your scorecards at home.

deviantBastard

“This is Great.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t think I’ve even made 13 comments tonight, but I’m not above stat padding.
Me n the bots can fight it out for the top spot.

King Hippo

You know, I am starting to hate footbaw. Goddamned SeaTruthers, you are supposed to be PISSED OFF and instead can’t even beat Drew Fucking Stanton??

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My Uncle Ed used to think the reason behind “color rush” was integration and white people being slow.

King Hippo

LT and the fearsome coloured rush ,, ppl forget that

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder who Uncle Ed voted for last November.

Spur

I prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas.

King Hippo

vastly