By now, you guys should now that I LOVE me some Canadia. I love Vancouver and, even though I made fun of my boss for traveling to Calgary for his very first trip to Canada, I think the rest of the country is pretty awesome. That doesn’t, of course, count the people. Not only are the Canadian contingent here at DFO an awesome group of people, everyone I have ever met that is Canadian has been a cool person. I’m pretty sure there are Canadian assholes as assholes exist pretty much everywhere, but I haven’t met any yet.
Prior to traveling to the Great White North, my exposure to Canada was limited to TV and movies. So it is that I want to do a personal tribute to what Canada meant to me prior to going there and becoming invisible friends with invisible Canadians.
First up, my very first memory of anything Canadian:
I watched this movie multiple times as a wee lil balls. I could probably recite the lines from memory. Thanks to this movie, we were calling each other hosers in middle school and I bought my first street hockey set. That is because there is no fucking ice in LA and the Kings wouldn’t get Gretzky until later and only THEN were hockey programs started. Alas, it was too late for me, but I still, to this day, love hockey. And this movie.
The times blur with age but the next Canadian thing I remember was SCTV reruns. SCTV, of course, had an all-star lineup of comedy stars with John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Rick Moranis, Andrea Martin, Catherine O’Hara, Dave Thomas, Eugene Levy, and Martin Short. Are you fucking kidding me? That’s like the Hall of Fame of comedy right there.
There was a point in the 80s that LA might as well have been a Canadian suburb as every major comedy star was born in Canada and worked in LA. Hell, that’s still largely the case. Just look at this list of Canadian comedians. Almost all of our favorite comedians, TV, and movie stars are Canadian. Phil Fucking Hartman was Canadian!
You know who else was Canadian?
Damn right. Note how awesome she looks before the dirty States got to her. You’d be surprised how many “American” hotties are actually from Canada. I will let you all post your favorites, but I will mention one that is not well known: Sunny Leone:
She is now a big Bollywood star. Apparently, there IS life after porn!
But, the ones I have to mention above everything are the Kids in the Hall. They have really shaped my humor and made me the crazy perverted offbeat Balls that you know and tolerate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvbvqYGgBqM
and, in honor of Canada’s birthday, this sketch:
Ok, seriously, the only thing I don’t get is the attachment to the Queen, even though you are an Independent Country. Also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EymJPH9jSEQ
I love you, Canada! Sorry I’m late on the 150th celebration!
Hey, maybe I can be a Canadian citizen after all! 🙂
and finally, I can’t forget about the awesome sport of curling:
Je t’aime Canada!
Aloutte, gentille aloutte, Aloutte, je te plumerai!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITLXo19248g
May you always have many many Armani!
She seems a lot nicer on the talk shows.
“Has anyone tried to see if chimpanzees or bonobos could be taught to fully master fire.”
“This one guy did and he was chained to a mountain to have an eagle eat his liver every day.”
A lot of people hated that movie, but I enjoyed it.
Nice shirt.
To Brick’s point; look at that big beautiful thick bitch.
So tomorrow, it’s still tomorrow out here; I’m gonna put on my walking shoes, throw on some sunscreen – don’t forget the sunscreen – and walk out that door going west for about a mile or so.
I’m gonna see the Pacific Ocean and I’m going to walk near-ish to it. Fucking beach crowds, man!
Then I’m gonna walk back home and fire up that grill!
Can I get a hallaleuja?!
(Hallalooya!?!)
I’m gonna fire up those coals!
(yes sir!)
I’m gonna ice down those beers!
(praise Gawd!)
And we are going to grill things with an aroma that will please the very gods themselves!
(praise Jeees-is-uh!)
Fuck yes, men! Let’s grill like our season depends on it! Who’s with me????
Grill on three!!!
GRILL!!!!!!!!
My dad’s side of the family belonged to a pretty hardcore pentecostal church, just a step or two shy of snake handling. I do not recommend that experience to anyone. I’m so glad he didn’t make me go through that shit very often.
I thank the Spaghetti Monster erry day my parents did not do the religious thing.
My dad generally is only Christian when it conveniently justifies his homophobia, xenophobia, etc. I only got dragged to church on occasion. I went to several on my own just to see what they were like, but I didn’t really take to any of them.
Sounds like some of my relatives. We don’t talk much.
You dodged a bullet. One of my aunts was the Province’s bicycle. My grandparents freaked out and sent her to a Christian University. Her roomates almost killed her by trying to perform an exorcism because she liked to “party” too much.
/cool story bro
Jesus! I mean…..
My wife’s family is Latino Pentecostal and it’s marginally better than English Pentecostal, but, just marginally.
I’ve not had that experience but I’ll take your word for it. It certainly beats having to find out for myself.
My brother has to work in Malibu, which sounds exhausting.
with the beach crowds? That sounds horrible.
Some rich guy’s beach house, I assume.
From the few 4th of Julys I’ve experience along the beaches, I find if you go early(ish) in the morning until 2 or 3ish, it’s not so bad. By 4 though, and forget about it.
What’s on the menu?
Dry aged rib eye, some Nathans, grilled corn and spicy chipotle grilled chicken.
I’ll also be making German potato salad because I’ve mentioned it so often lately I’ve actually made myself hungry for it again.
Plus beers, bottle of pinot grigio and bourbon. I’ve also got some aged Welsh cheddar and a double cream brie.
Nothing special.
I had an uncle who was in the RAF during World War II and was a Lancaster tailgunner on many night missions over Germany. I didn’t know him well because of age and distance, but my cousins tell me that he suffered PTSD for the rest of his life, which of course was undiagnosed and untreated in those days.
I believe back then PTSD was referred to as “Hey, stop being a fucking pussy, get back to work, and drink yourself numb when you’re done.”
So my doctor didn’t say it was PTSD?
Unfortunately that’s still the response far too often.
Lanks are beautiful machines. If he flew any missions on Dresden…. holy shit; some of the descriptions in a few of the things I’ve read; basically anyone would have it.
Going to bed. Night everyone
Kate Bock: Good old Vancouver chick.
/checks watch: Happy 4th of July to all you Yanks out there living in every timezone except the Best Coast!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M
You didn’t scroll down to see both me and WCS post it earlier? I won with your version. His was better
Must’ve missed it, sorry. I’m still rattled finding out what happened to Dave Foley. I’m surprised he hasn’t been able to pay off the child support, yet. Dude has been in enough successful films.
If I remember it right, the judge set his child support and alimony based off of the most successful year he ever had which was a completely unsustainable income. Once it went back down to a more normal income when his series was off the air, he was basically working for free because every dime was going to the ex.
Correct. I was told 17k a month earlier. Not discounting your comment, but it was said below
I was under the impression it was worse than that, but it’s been a long time since I’ve heard him discuss it.
Just earlier today I listened to Dave Foley on the Maron WTF podcast (from 2014) and he talks about having to go on a stand-up tour because of alimony and how depressed it made him because he’s not a stand-up comic but he had to make money. I didn’t realize how bad his situation was because he would make a joke about it and change the subject every time Maron went back to it.
Maybe he should have sat down…….
Thank you.
That being said watching again
Because of my character on here I will always be labeled the stoner guy. But honestly when I was working a 40+ hour a week job and a second 20+ hour a week job while still consulting on my moms company it saved me. I was happy doing it all.
That’s some good hustle.
Finally, a tribute to Canadia not by me in the comments section. Great hustle, Balls.
Fun fact: I met Pamela Anderson back in 2000 when I worked at Roots (I met pretty much every famous person that came through Vancouver because they loved the discounts there/there was a planet hollywood across the street). She was one of the sweetest people I have ever masterbait–er– celebrities I have ever met.
We are going to need a reliable source.
You’re on the wrong website for those
So it would seem.
Alright Moose, as per our Syria conversation last week in which you demanded sources. Seeing how my daughter isn’t in teething hell at the moment, I a quick google search. The original source about the leaks 10ish days ago comes from Seymour Hersh. Though, it was not an email leak, but a unnamed source. The name sounded familiar as I remember he broke the story about Abu Gharib. He’s a Pulitzer prize-winning investigative journalist, not some blogger. He has broken numerous ground breaking stories, such as the Mai Lai Massacre.
For the fact alone that it comes from an anonymous source, there should be skepticism involved. However, it shouldn’t be shot and pissed on like it was last week, considering the horses mouth.
As for proof that the Sarin gas accusation from the last major time didn’t come from Assad:
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-syria-crisis-un-idUSBRE94409Z20130505
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-syria-crisis-un-idUSBRE94409Z20130505
Now that is a source rather than just saying it like you did before. I believe you said that the US conspired to make it look like an Assad attack which led me to believe you were referring to the discounted email . That is why I wanted you to list a source.
http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2017/06/seymour-hersh-trump-ignored-intel-bombing-syria.html
Seems completely different than the point you were making last week. If you read both carefully it seems no one used sarin, no direct proof of it. But hey, maybe I wasn’t clear on what you were saying.
http://www.diplomatie.gouv.fr/en/country-files/syria/events/article/chemical-attack-in-syria-national-evaluation-presented-by-jean-marc-ayrault
“Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you’re honest with them, then you’re an asshole.”
That’s one of them “Psalms” isn’t it?
Via Carlin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_tyWt_9Bfs
Nice!
Wait? You stole tomorrow’s lede!
Great fucking pull.
Good b-day song for youngest right, no? I love that song but I’ve heard it about 15 fucking times on the Outlaw channel today. I’ve heard the X version, the Dave Alvin version, Robert Earl Keene, Shooter Jennings, and one other I don’t recall multiple times.
It is indeed. The Blasters were fun as all hell a few weeks ago.
I had a conversation with a couple who happened to be Dave Alvin’s neighbor and had no idea he was who he was.
They asked me “How long have you known about these guys?”
“About 1977 or so.”
“Really? He’s my neighbor and said he plays in a band with his brother.”
“Do you have any idea what these guys have done? They are the very foundation of the LA punk movement along with “X”
“Wow! I had no idea!”
Cool stuff.
LA roots man.
I know Marc Maron is a big fan of them. Pretty sure he’s had them on the podcast before.
BTW, I managed to get myself a sous vide cooker. That thing is fucking wonderful. I’ve been using the shit out of it since I got it. I can’t recommend it enough if you don’t have one.
Oh shit.
That got my attention. I’ve always wanted a sous vide. Quick! To the Amazon!
In all seriousness would you like to do a fill in one week for Sunday Gravy?
Really.
It’s surprisingly not easy and if you want to share a recipe and some photos well then, fuck yes!
It’s always cool to get a new culinary voice.
I was gonna link to the site I bought it from but it’s already closed down. Probably why I managed to get it for $50, and it goes for way more than that at other places. You can get them for less than $100 on Amazon though. I’ve been making steaks better than anything you can get outside of a high-end prime/aged steakhouse, and I’m starting to experiment with combining the sous vide with my smoker. I just made the best pulled pork I’ve ever made, and quite possibly that I’ve ever had anywhere. I cooked a shoulder for two days in the sous vide and then smoked it for 8 hours.
As for taking a week of Gravy, I’ll do it sometime if you give me some notice. I’ll let you know flat out though that I have no camera except my phone cam, and it’s not great.
As someone who takes, although getting better as of late, shit awful food photos, just do what looks right. I try to get a photo that tells the story, I ain’t leaning for art here.
Tell you what, cook for yourself and friends, family whatever, document it, take photos, polish it up and let me now when it’s ready.
Let me know when dinner is ready.
Will do. I’ll figure something out.
I just adopted a pet spider by blowing pot smoke at it.
I think it loves me now.
GOD DAMNIT DOES EVERYONE BUT ME HAVE WEED?
Yah mon,
Cali smoke ain’t no joke.
You should come out here and go surfing.
I can play hockey with one blind eye but I can’t surf. I know this from multiple tries at doing similar stuff.
I’m actually pretty fucking terrible at surfing too.
I have a profile picture somewhere of me surfing Waikiki.
It was the greatest 7 seconds of my life.
That’s not what her sister said.
I don’t even smoke pot but I have some some buds of California medicinal in my freezer. I even own a small bowl with a brass screen, both of which are unused.
I don’t
Oh fuck!
It’s a she spider!
for herodotus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlcQ_5eAzYA
Until 10 minutes ago I had no idea it was Robert Downey Jr.
And his character’s name is Derek Lutz, OBVIOUSLY related to the Lutz from 30 Rock.
Well hello there, sailor!
R-4360!
My plans for tomorrow:
“No sport is as hedonistic as golf, a game designed around the existance of acres of nothing but grass that has to be meticulously regulated. the players get enjoyment knowing land is wasted for the sake of their Ball Putt Game. and they don’t just let anyone fuck the holes, either. “
mother…
that one worked
Golf is not a sport, and anyone who plays it deserves to be put to the flames.
This is a photo from the last time I went to Dave & Buster’s.
*No, it’s not.
You’re prettier than I expected.
Um…. I took the photo…. of my girlfriend…. yeah, that’s the ticket; my GIRLFRIEND.
But thank you anyway, I have been told I am a mix between Brad Pitt and….
The original Uncle Fester.
more Fester.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0L_rD7CCe4
Easy, easy, I’ll tell you.
Found him
https://gfycat.com/GlitteringFrenchGnu
Sploosh?
She certainly deftly tossed that chicken.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drfazUBOmCk&ab_channel=Vuetunes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8&ab_channel=Hughes%27nBeuks
Great minds and others like mine think alike sometimes
Edit: I was trying to insult me, I think I phrased it wrong. I am grabbing a keyboard off a bed while playing a video game while drunk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M