Your “One of These Games Just Doesn’t Belong” 4 Spot Slate Open Thread

[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!

Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.

*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted

Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.

NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.

It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.

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Spur

it’s 1st down.

King Hippo

wish you had that 5 yards back, eh?

STOMP STOMP CLAP!!!

/perfect result, bet still covered

litre_cola

I won my 2 team this morning. I live another day!

King Hippo

DERRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Gratliff

Goddammit. Can one fucking team I want to lose actually lose today?

King Hippo

shouldn’t one keep one’s timeouts in case get ball back, Shitty Clippers?

Redshirt

Oh Great SHAN’KOR! I besheech thee!!

Spur

Cowboys secondary is improving.

litre_cola

Fucking Matt Ryan throwing it everywhere again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yet can’t find Hooper.
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Spur

Last time a Freeman got hit like that in Atlanta…..wait….I should stop

King Hippo

KICK IT FUCKERS!!

/really, should on 3rd down with sketchy snapper

Redshirt

And now my radio stream goes bye-bye. Screw you, internet!

King Hippo

this is the derpiest non-weather fixture I have ever seen

Gratliff

Hrm. Is there no strikethrough?

Dick E. Phuck

These taunting calls are really dumb. Welcome to the NFL.

King Hippo

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA, Jaguras taunting again

Spur

Rivers just nailed the Jag’s player with the ball.

Redshirt

Riversception

Dick E. Phuck

JAC-LAC game ends on a near pick-six. Appropriate.

Dunstan

Ah, the good ol’ FLOATCEPTION.

King Hippo

PLEASE kick it, Jaguras!!

Redshirt

Does anyone still watch The Orville?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve never watched it in the first place. I feel slightly guilty about this, as I know someone who is one of the main characters.

Senor Weaselo

Have they watched anything you’re in? Call it even.

King Hippo

Huzzah, Jaguras punt, should get mah +4 cover now

Brick Meathook

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Spur

I like this leave Dez uncovered approach.

King Hippo

Novel, with no Zeke but you know, ATL rolls dat way

Dick E. Phuck

Which song lyrics are these?

King Hippo

To recap – Shitty Clippers intercept Jaguras twice inside of 2:00, still give up tying FG.

litre_cola

STOMP STOMP CLAP

Dick E. Phuck

It’s like the end of Rocky II but much less entertaining.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Bolts From The Blue
@BFTB_Chargers

Please send liquor.

Senor Weaselo

*Opening kickoff goes out of bounds*
So yeah, this is gonna suck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

“The bill has finally come due.”

Thanks Joe. It’s important to not discuss the issue of Zeke’s innocence/guilt or even WHAT the bill is for. Just the suspension, as if it is some unavoidable random event in the NFL season.

Spur

Good job Jags. that kickers is getting a extra bag of meth this Monday.

Redshirt

The girl on the Ferris wheel during in the break intro in HOU-LAR is so gonna break up with her boyfriend.

Senor Weaselo

Let’s see how much SF/NYG I can watch. Lucky for me I get to leave in the middle since I have a wedding to play!

Dick E. Phuck

Don’t tear your ACL out there. Stay safe.

Spur

Dak is all you need.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Not that they can’t, but I like that Panda Expess shows an asian family having dinner at home with some Panda Express peking pork.

blaxabbath

I appreciate the new plans and everything, Southwest, but loud planes were never my complaint. What did you do about leg room?

Gratliff

They’re doing away with it. More room for more seats.

blaxabbath

Wait — is Brett Hundley in Green Bay black?

litre_cola

Mixed I believe.

Spur

Extra smokey cheddar.

Spur

Come on Jags.

blaxabbath

Those three plays where nothing happened was totally worth the time…

Dick E. Phuck

I like your comment because it could be true of almost every game this season.

Spur

Oh, i get to watch the Cincy shit the bed, LIVE!

Spur

Folks.

Dick E. Phuck

I like that the Spanos project literally handed this game to the Jags on a silver platter, but of course Blake Bortles has to drop the platter and simultaneously shit himself at the same time.

blaxabbath

Oh they’re letting me watch the end of CIN/TITS!

Dick E. Phuck

Are the Vikings NFC title Contenders?

Haha, fuck no.

litre_cola

Winnipeg v Edmonton will be better than SF/NYG

Gratliff

Worst onside kick of all time

JustStopDude

Is that kid in a neck brace? His head looks like three sizes too big.

Dick E. Phuck

Only two-three games every afternoon. Nice scheduling, NFL.

blaxabbath

I also had only one in the AM (WAS/MIN) b/c ARI color rushed on Thursday.

Gratliff

Oh shit. Zeke’s suspension stuck this week? Fuck yes. Rack ’em, Falcons.

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