[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!

Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.

*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted

Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.

NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.

It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.