Howdy folks!
I feel it is my responsibility to remind everyone, well us U.S. residing folks anyway, that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Like, next fucking Thursday. As in 5 goddamn days Thursday.
And you haven’t even been to the grocery store yet have you?
HAVE YOU!?!
What are you thinking? That can of corn isn’t going to heat itself!
Man, if only somebody somewhere would have detailed instructions for what to do if you’ve waited too long to start your Thanksgiving meal preparation. Damn! Maybe someday. What a missed opportunity.
Back when I was a younger fella I used to be one of those lunatics who made the entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Breads, pies, turkey all of the goddamn sides and I am here to tell you that that shit is LUNACY! Fuck that, man. You’ve got to do the group dinner prep. For the last several years eldest right and her husband have brought a smoked turkey and all of the dessert items along with some home brew that my son-in-law makes himself. That way all I have to do is make the breads and the sides. I can do that shit. Doing the whole meal is a young man’s game
This year I am bypassing the standard mashed potatoes – roasted garlic mashed potatoes at that – and am instead making my traditional Grandmommie’s dressing along with this beauty
gratin potatoes with onion, and gruyere cheese from this past season of Sunday Gravy.
I will also be baking a loaf of fresh homemade bread,
another recipe from this past season.
Oh yeah.
Wait, why are you grabbing your coat and your car keys?
You’re not going to the store now are you?
Stop that shit! Go on Monday or Tuesday, we’ve got shit to do.
Tonight we are taking it easy. We’ve got games to watch, liquor to imbibe, perhaps sample a few smokeables and/or edibles if you so desire and we’ve got dick jokes to make!
If you want some hot early season NBA action, here’s the schedule.
If the NHL is your thing, well here you go.
Our own King Hippo gave you the college football rundown earlier in the day and I’m sure there’s a smattering of college hoops if that’s more to your liking.
Now on to the good stuff. Your broadcast maps, all courtesy of 506sports.com
CBS EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
█ | Kansas City @ NY Giants | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
█ | Baltimore @ Green Bay | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
█ | Jacksonville @ Cleveland | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
█ | NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX |
Holy shit, that is an unappetizing line-up of games. Is there really that big of a demand for Jacksonville/Cleveland in Nashville? Poor bastards.
Let’s see what Fox Early has.
FOX SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
█ | Washington @ New Orleans | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
█ | LA Rams @ Minnesota | Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, Greg Olsen |
█ | Arizona @ Houston | Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber |
█ | Detroit @ Chicago | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
█ | Tampa Bay @ Miami | Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth |
█ | Buffalo @ LA Chargers (LATE) | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
█ | BOTH LAR-MIN and BUF-LAC |
Ah, no late games for Fox so they just jammed ’em all into the early window. Who you got on this graph? Maybe watch the Saints possibly drive the final stake into the hearts of the Washington Football Club? Tampa bay at Miami? The make-up hurricane bowl? Nah, fuck that. You’re watching my Vikes host the LAR aren’t you?
Good for you.
Finally here’s the CBS late window.
CBS LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
█ | New England vs Oakland (in Mexico City) | Jim Nantz, Tony Romo |
█ | Cincinnati @ Denver | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
Here’s a fun fact. I just now discovered that Mexico City is in the equivalent of our Central Time Zone so the P*ts and Raider game is a 3:00 local start. Nice. Or I suppose you can watch the “What the Fuck Happened to You Two?” Bowl with the Bungles and the Donks.
I can smell the sadness from here.
First? Let’s grab a cocktail and get this motherfucking party started!
Check it out! There’s a jukebox in this joint.
Talk to me, people!
Just get in the fucking car, damn it.
The salmon mousse?
I didn’t even eat the mousse!
*Moose
Here, we see NCSU head coach Dave Doeren, game planning for U*NC next week.
If you are looking for a gateway to appreciate Malcolm Young you could do worse than starting out with this one.
RIP Malcolm.
You were the heart of the band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2Gwr-VrNFM
Trees taking knees, time to watch Chosen.
Damn. Taking the L.
If for no other reason, I’m rooting for Cal because they beat U*NC at home earlier in the year.
And look how fast I jinxed them.
I need to bottle this shit.
Who else you like tonight? Asking for a friend.
Secular Big Love.
Aaaand, the Huskies score.
Holy fuck, this isn’t even funny anymore.
Wait, yes it is. I made money today.
Nope, my gametracker was delayed. I didn’t do that one.
Bet all your winnings on the Huskies in the 2nd half.
Meh…why not?
Well, no 2nd half spread yet.
We’ll see.
Save that luck for Vegas Son.
We got dinner to buy.
That’s a good point.
Im rooting for UCLA because I like to watch the world burn.
/Didn’t go to a school with a football team
what a catch!
Thanks!
‘splain this to me please. There’s a local law firm handing out frozen turkeys to the homeless. Noble gesture, but doesn’t homeless also mean oven-less?
likely also fridge-less. I guess they beat people over the head with it?
Paging Tomsula
Trade for drugs, booze or cigarettes.
And then ask “What time is dinner?”
Hope that’s not Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever on the turntable there.
I so hope it is. Kitty can shit on stranglehold too.
Maam, please report to the poop deck ASAP
She seems… confused.
Shit INT by Bowers. Damn. CAL.
Let’s go Boise! Fuck the Chair Force!
?itemid=7525202
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m05li00A1p1qgar4mo1_500.png
Who’s a good boy….yes you are!
The new Kia Soul ad is much moar effective than those stupid hamsters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIoMtHopUmE&t
Sure, throw to the middle of the field NOW when you have zero timeouts left.
Jeebus.
Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.
And fuck your French accents, I’m too pissed.
Dr. Steve says:
Use the sidelines ya dingus
I can work remote and am thinking of moving back to Texas. All i need is a fast internet connection. Texas DFOers is San Marcos still “small”?
I understand from some friends who have kids going to SWTX State that rent prices are pretty big these days. The whole SA-New Braunfels-San Marcos-Austin corridor is growing into a single metro area.
Town itself is small, but the MSA is pretty damned big. In that area, all roads lead to Austin, with the heinous traffic and endless road construction.
Coming up Millhouse, or Millhouse coming up?
Discuss.
Sam Darnold looks like a meathead.
Chop Wood, Conquer Water!!!! GO Cal!!!!!
I believe ya can do it! You a grad?
hey, at least won my TAMU bet. Sad trombone consolation.
I first saw this while listening to bad by Michael Jackson, it fits
Hippo! Pick one FLEX: T.J. Yeldon in the wind (& snow?) vs. The Factory, Ted Ginn vs. Josh Norman, or Rex Burkhead in Mex City vs. Oak?
Yeldon if Fourny confirmed out, otherwise Burkhead that game will be points BAZINGA
Thanks
GIN!
TJ Yeldon
Sure wish Hines was, you know….alive.
I refuse to watch the end of the State game, even if the shitheels get the ball back.
We’ll get it back with under a minute, no timeouts.
And I’m not sure Emezie didn’t get the ball across to be honest.
But Wake can’t afford ‘dat goal line cam.
Soooooo…..whats the deal with these Hess Trucks? Is this like a thing????
TAMU should have gone for the TD
Hippo preaches non-stop about the goalline/pylon stretch. SIGH
Hippo, go ahead and get ready. Gonna shank the PAT and lose in OT.
Never mind…we won’t even get there.
Fuck.
“Pardon me, have you any Grey Poupon?”
Yum Yum
Must Americans don’t realize all the French did for us. Sad.
ok, time for ONE MOAR Husky garbage time score!
UConn at least TRIED for 2 and the cover. Thanks, guys
whooo! TD Cal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3l9UU5tqzU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH7A2F5_M2A
Both of these LA QBs suck BALLS.
What’s that now?
— A-Rodg
JV Games really do blow tonight. Mich and Auburn better win next week.
Damn. Bryce love with the running TD for Stanford.
and that’s why you don’t bet on fuckin Cal, I guess.
Holy shit is that first set of CBS games horrific. Its like historically bad.
Seeing you have the free time, could i recommend you attending church services in any of the fine Catholic churches in your area. It’s free.
Yeah, sure it is.
ZIp it. I got this one biting
Hehe.
Is this like a draft thing where if you can trick someone else into taking your place you don’t have to go yourself?
For once, I don’t care that they’re blacked out in Chicago.
Dude, I know it’s a diverse area but that seems a bit insensitive.
Wow, ugliest FG make in ever.
Still counts as 3 tho.
(Right? It does, right?)
Please make the line and don’t have to choose to maybe kick the FG. Please.
Thank you.
Shit, same request again I guess.
When tWBS has these conversations with himself aren’t we supposed to call the clinic back?
I just need my meds filled.
Also a Wake turnover would be nice.
But an NCSU STUPID FUCKING PENALTY IS JUST AS GOOD!!!!!!!
Oh, Jesus. I think this woman on Mindhunter is supposed to be Nancy Grace.
Anyway, just a reminder of the Taint Tackle.
https://gfycat.com/DaringSpiffyKudu
That would be a good place for Nancy Grace. Maybe she can eventually find one.
Hippo, did Hines ever come back out?
no
Lets go Cal! yea!!!!
This AM game needs to end. i have money on the Boise over.