Your “Uh-Oh, Company’s Coming” Saturday Evening Open Thread and NFL Broadcast Maps

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Howdy folks!

I feel it is my responsibility to remind everyone, well us U.S. residing folks anyway, that Thanksgiving is Thursday. Like, next fucking Thursday. As in 5 goddamn days Thursday.

And you haven’t even been to the grocery store yet have you?

HAVE YOU!?!

What are you thinking? That can of corn isn’t going to heat itself!

Man, if only somebody somewhere would have detailed instructions for what to do if you’ve waited too long to start your Thanksgiving meal preparation. Damn! Maybe someday. What a missed opportunity.

Back when I was a younger fella I used to be one of those lunatics who made the entire Thanksgiving meal by myself. Breads, pies, turkey all of the goddamn sides and I am here to tell you that that shit is LUNACY! Fuck that, man. You’ve got to do the group dinner prep. For the last several years eldest right and her husband have brought a smoked turkey and all of the dessert items along with some home brew that my son-in-law makes himself. That way all I have to do is make the breads and the sides. I can do that shit. Doing the whole meal is a young man’s game

This year I am bypassing the standard mashed potatoes – roasted garlic mashed potatoes at that – and am instead making my traditional Grandmommie’s dressing along with this beauty 

gratin potatoes with onion, and gruyere cheese from this past season of Sunday Gravy.

I will also be baking a loaf of fresh homemade bread,

another recipe from this past season.

Oh yeah.

Wait, why are you grabbing your coat and your car keys?

You’re not going to the store now are you?

Stop that shit! Go on Monday or Tuesday, we’ve got shit to do.

Tonight we are taking it easy. We’ve got games to watch, liquor to imbibe, perhaps sample a few smokeables and/or edibles if you so desire and we’ve got dick jokes to make!

If you want some hot early season NBA action, here’s the schedule.

If the NHL is your thing, well here you go.

Our own King Hippo gave you the college football rundown earlier in the day and I’m sure there’s a smattering of college hoops if that’s more to your liking.

Now on to the good stuff. Your broadcast maps, all courtesy of 506sports.com

CBS EARLY


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Kansas City @ NY Giants Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts
Baltimore @ Green Bay Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon
Jacksonville @ Cleveland Andrew Catalon, James Lofton
NO GAME due to local team at home on FOX

Holy shit, that is an unappetizing line-up of games. Is there really that big of a demand for Jacksonville/Cleveland in Nashville? Poor bastards.

Let’s see what Fox Early has.

FOX SINGLE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

Washington @ New Orleans Joe Buck, Troy Aikman
LA Rams @ Minnesota Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis, Greg Olsen
Arizona @ Houston Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber
Detroit @ Chicago Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman
Tampa Bay @ Miami Dick Stockton, Mark Schlereth
Buffalo @ LA Chargers (LATE) Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston
BOTH LAR-MIN and BUF-LAC

Ah, no late games for Fox so they just jammed ’em all into the early window. Who you got on this graph? Maybe watch the Saints possibly drive the final stake into the hearts of the Washington Football Club? Tampa bay at Miami? The make-up hurricane bowl? Nah, fuck that. You’re watching my Vikes host the LAR aren’t you?

Good for you.

Finally here’s the CBS late window.

CBS LATE


 Anchorage AK  |   Fairbanks AK
 Honolulu HI

New England vs Oakland (in Mexico City) Jim Nantz, Tony Romo
Cincinnati @ Denver Greg Gumbel, Trent Green

Here’s a fun fact. I just now discovered that Mexico City is in the equivalent of our Central Time Zone so the P*ts and Raider game is a 3:00 local start. Nice. Or I suppose you can watch the “What the Fuck Happened to You Two?” Bowl with the Bungles and the Donks.

I can smell the sadness from here.

First? Let’s grab a cocktail and get this motherfucking party started!

Check it out! There’s a jukebox in this joint.

Talk to me, people!

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laserguru
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn't plate.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Just get in the fucking car, damn it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

I didn’t even eat the mousse!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Moose

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Here, we see NCSU head coach Dave Doeren, game planning for U*NC next week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Trees taking knees, time to watch Chosen.

rockingdog

Damn. Taking the L.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If for no other reason, I’m rooting for Cal because they beat U*NC at home earlier in the year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And look how fast I jinxed them.
I need to bottle this shit.

Mr. Ayo

Who else you like tonight? Asking for a friend.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Secular Big Love.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaaand, the Huskies score.
Holy fuck, this isn’t even funny anymore.

Wait, yes it is. I made money today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope, my gametracker was delayed. I didn’t do that one.

Mr. Ayo

Bet all your winnings on the Huskies in the 2nd half.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh…why not?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, no 2nd half spread yet.
We’ll see.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a good point.

Sharkbait

Im rooting for UCLA because I like to watch the world burn.

/Didn’t go to a school with a football team

King Hippo

what a catch!

Mr. Ayo

Thanks!

Romonobyl

‘splain this to me please. There’s a local law firm handing out frozen turkeys to the homeless. Noble gesture, but doesn’t homeless also mean oven-less?

King Hippo

likely also fridge-less. I guess they beat people over the head with it?

Mr. Ayo

Paging Tomsula

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Trade for drugs, booze or cigarettes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Hope that’s not Ted Nugent Cat Scratch Fever on the turntable there.

Shogun Marcus

I so hope it is. Kitty can shit on stranglehold too.

Mr. Ayo

Maam, please report to the poop deck ASAP

...

She seems… confused.

rockingdog

Shit INT by Bowers. Damn. CAL.

Spur

Let’s go Boise! Fuck the Chair Force!

Sharkbait

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Who’s a good boy….yes you are!

theeWeeBabySeamus

The new Kia Soul ad is much moar effective than those stupid hamsters.

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Sure, throw to the middle of the field NOW when you have zero timeouts left.
Jeebus.

Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.
And fuck your French accents, I’m too pissed.

Sharkbait

Dr. Steve says:

Use the sidelines ya dingus

Spur

I can work remote and am thinking of moving back to Texas. All i need is a fast internet connection. Texas DFOers is San Marcos still “small”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I understand from some friends who have kids going to SWTX State that rent prices are pretty big these days. The whole SA-New Braunfels-San Marcos-Austin corridor is growing into a single metro area.

Romonobyl

Town itself is small, but the MSA is pretty damned big. In that area, all roads lead to Austin, with the heinous traffic and endless road construction.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Coming up Millhouse, or Millhouse coming up?
Discuss.

Brick Meathook

Sam Darnold looks like a meathead.

rockingdog

Chop Wood, Conquer Water!!!! GO Cal!!!!!

King Hippo

I believe ya can do it! You a grad?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

hey, at least won my TAMU bet. Sad trombone consolation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

I first saw this while listening to bad by Michael Jackson, it fits

Fronkenshteen

Hippo! Pick one FLEX: T.J. Yeldon in the wind (& snow?) vs. The Factory, Ted Ginn vs. Josh Norman, or Rex Burkhead in Mex City vs. Oak?

King Hippo

Yeldon if Fourny confirmed out, otherwise Burkhead that game will be points BAZINGA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Thanks

Mr. Ayo

GIN!

rockingdog

TJ Yeldon

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sure wish Hines was, you know….alive.

King Hippo

I refuse to watch the end of the State game, even if the shitheels get the ball back.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ll get it back with under a minute, no timeouts.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And I’m not sure Emezie didn’t get the ball across to be honest.
But Wake can’t afford ‘dat goal line cam.

rockingdog

Soooooo…..whats the deal with these Hess Trucks? Is this like a thing????

King Hippo

TAMU should have gone for the TD

King Hippo

Hippo preaches non-stop about the goalline/pylon stretch. SIGH

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo, go ahead and get ready. Gonna shank the PAT and lose in OT.

Never mind…we won’t even get there.

Fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Pardon me, have you any Grey Poupon?”

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ballsofsteelandfury

Yum Yum

rockingdog

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Spur

Must Americans don’t realize all the French did for us. Sad.

King Hippo

ok, time for ONE MOAR Husky garbage time score!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

UConn at least TRIED for 2 and the cover. Thanks, guys

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

whooo! TD Calcomment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur
ballsofsteelandfury

Both of these LA QBs suck BALLS.

JerBear50

What’s that now?
— A-Rodg

Spur

JV Games really do blow tonight. Mich and Auburn better win next week.

Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

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rockingdog

Damn. Bryce love with the running TD for Stanford.

King Hippo

and that’s why you don’t bet on fuckin Cal, I guess.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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JustStopDude

Holy shit is that first set of CBS games horrific. Its like historically bad.

Spur

Seeing you have the free time, could i recommend you attending church services in any of the fine Catholic churches in your area. It’s free.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, sure it is.

Spur

ZIp it. I got this one biting

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe.

JerBear50

Is this like a draft thing where if you can trick someone else into taking your place you don’t have to go yourself?

...

For once, I don’t care that they’re blacked out in Chicago.

JerBear50

Dude, I know it’s a diverse area but that seems a bit insensitive.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, ugliest FG make in ever.
Still counts as 3 tho.

(Right? It does, right?)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Please make the line and don’t have to choose to maybe kick the FG. Please.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, same request again I guess.

Romonobyl

When tWBS has these conversations with himself aren’t we supposed to call the clinic back?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I just need my meds filled.
Also a Wake turnover would be nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But an NCSU STUPID FUCKING PENALTY IS JUST AS GOOD!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

Oh, Jesus. I think this woman on Mindhunter is supposed to be Nancy Grace.

Anyway, just a reminder of the Taint Tackle.
https://gfycat.com/DaringSpiffyKudu

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That would be a good place for Nancy Grace. Maybe she can eventually find one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo, did Hines ever come back out?

King Hippo

no

rockingdog

Lets go Cal! yea!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

This AM game needs to end. i have money on the Boise over.