I think today is a good day to celebrate my non-existent Mexican heritage by eating a brand of chip that has no real connection to Hispanic culture but hints at it in the name. Behold, “Munchos”! Imagine if you will the end result of a jar of Pringles having a three-way with a salt lick and a teenager with cystic acne. Bang! There’s your Munchos. They will make you drink though, and if you choose booze you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a desert in your throat. Where am I going with this? I’ve no idea. TO THE GAMES!

Buf/LAC: The Bills D was onto something as late as three weeks ago but then gave up a combined 81 points in their last two “adventures”. Maker of Children Phil Rivers has been cleared to play by an independent consultant that is paid to give that specific diagnosis. Tyrod Taylor gets the benching and fifth-round rook Nathan Peterman makes his first start. I hope his previous experience as a buttoned-down, blonde, blue-eyed president of a Harvard fraternity house prepared him adequately for his new role.

Cin/Den: The Broncs only give up 305 yds. per game but have been buzz-sawed by opponents to the tune of 92 points in their last two outings. On the offensive side, the Bengals inability to run the ball will be countered by Denver’s pathetic qb play. The adjective “watchable” is taking the day off here.

NE/Oak: Ah, Raiders-where did it all go wrong? One little hint that I can see is that the team’s leading receiver isn’t a Crabtree or a Cooper but is actually a Cook. And you know what they say about too many cooks, right? They throw the baby out with the brothwater or something like that. The Pats are favoured by just 7 but have won their last three by an average of 16.

Saddle up, partners-we’ve work to do!