Your “What Day Is It In Mexico?” NFL Open Thread

I think today is a good day to celebrate my non-existent Mexican heritage by eating a brand of chip that has no real connection to Hispanic culture but hints at it in the name. Behold, “Munchos”! Imagine if you will the end result of a jar of Pringles having a three-way with a salt lick and a teenager with cystic acne. Bang! There’s your Munchos. They will make you drink though, and if you choose booze you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a desert in your throat. Where am I going with this? I’ve no idea. TO THE GAMES!

Buf/LAC: The Bills D was onto something as late as three weeks ago but then gave up a combined 81 points in their last two “adventures”. Maker of Children Phil Rivers has been cleared to play by an independent consultant that is paid to give that specific diagnosis. Tyrod Taylor gets the benching and fifth-round rook Nathan Peterman makes his first start. I hope his previous experience as a buttoned-down, blonde, blue-eyed president of a Harvard fraternity house prepared him adequately for his new role.

Cin/Den: The Broncs only give up 305 yds. per game but have been buzz-sawed by opponents to the tune of 92 points in their last two outings. On the offensive side, the Bengals inability to run the ball will be countered by Denver’s pathetic qb play. The adjective “watchable” is taking the day off here.

NE/Oak: Ah, Raiders-where did it all go wrong? One little hint that I can see is that the team’s leading receiver isn’t a Crabtree or a Cooper but is actually a Cook. And you know what they say about too many cooks, right? They throw the baby out with the brothwater or something like that. The Pats are favoured by just 7 but have won their last three by an average of 16.

Saddle up, partners-we’ve work to do!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Last thread is up.

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“We’ve never beaten Osweiler.”

Now that’s an indictment of your team if there ever was one.

King Hippo

Draft position WOO!!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Is Hippo’s mom draft-eligible?

WCS

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Redshirt

Please don’t fumble the kneeldowns.

King Hippo

That was shittastic.

Recovery Whiskey

Parity!

King Hippo

Bad punt WOO!!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Bad sack

King Hippo

just BAD

Redshirt

CBS switched to the Cincy game? Suddenly it makes sense why they suddenly sucked this drive.

Redshirt

If the Bengals had a halfway decent o-line, they’d be 6-3 going to 7-3 now.

montythisseemsstrangetome

WARNING: TWO MINUTES. BE WARNED

Recovery Whiskey

Great call Cincinnati said no one

Redshirt

One of the first times they don’t do that stupid WR screen play they always do.

King Hippo

Roby’s had a tough day. Still, can only take it to 2:00

Brick Meathook

Here’s Heinolds in May 2011.
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Looking at all these photos makes me want to go back there. One day it’ll be gone.

King Hippo

I admire the firm resistance to change. This pleases me.

Brick Meathook

It still has it’s original gas lights. It is literally a time warp. Here’s the angle of the bar post-1906. You can ask for a wooden wedge to keep your beer level.
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Petronel

A bar like that should be a national historic landmark.

Brick Meathook

It is.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“On September 1, 2000, the United States Federal Government listed Heinold’s First and Last Chance on the National Register of Historic Places” via Wikipedia

Recovery Whiskey

Looks like they already upzoned around it. Otoh a Starbucks would look great on that spot.

Viva La Tabula Raza

CBS pulls out of Mexico and takes us to Denver,,,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Kinda turned on right now.
/DON’T JUDGE MY YOUTH!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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lol CBS has actually decided the Bengals-Broncos derpfest is a better option.

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Is anyone else suspicious of buying one of those mattresses in a box?

WCS

Absolutely.

JustStopDude

I got one for my guest room. No one has complained about it.

Its really weird un-boxing the thing because its so small. You got to slice up the plastic for it to basically expand. You really want to have it close to the correct position once you start it because it will keep going until you got a full sized mattress.

I got a queen sized one.

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Was it one of the really cheap ones? I’m suspicious of anything that costs too much under, say, $800 for a queen.

JustStopDude

I got a Leesa for like $865 on amazon.

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Okay, that seems reasonable. Thanks.

I just don’t trust a mattress for like $300.

JustStopDude

With my fucking back, I don’t cheap out on mattresses.

JustStopDude

Jeffrey Tambor is leaving “Transparent” over sexual harassment claims…

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Gratliff

I may have committed some light sexual assault

WCS

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Gratliff

Tyron Smith out. DED DED DED

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JustStopDude

I have no idea who these people are…

Are the four horsemen still together?

Gratliff

They’re still around. Now we just ogle their daughters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgq3AAhGjek

Redshirt

The Bengals Offense’s inability to sustain a drive is killing the Bengals Defense. Figurative currently, but at this rate it might be literally by the end of the season.

King Hippo

hey, an actual NICE THROW!

montythisseemsstrangetome

And catch

montythisseemsstrangetome

Even when Brock Lobster completes a pass it feels like just pure luck.

King Hippo

yeah, “feels like”

/funny thing is, no Donks fan has any real desire to see either of the other dudes

King Hippo

/one has the arm strength of my 70-year old mother, one might be mildly…uh “special like Sam Darnold”

montythisseemsstrangetome

/Hippo’s mom passes Kaep on the depth chart.

King Hippo

passes melanin test!

hippofant

There was another Bronco running a wide-open post route that he ignored for the much-better-covered Thomas.

King Hippo

CIN has less than 180 total yards. Up by 10. JESUS.

JustStopDude

This Chargers game is making me question if the Browns can match the success of last year’s 1-15 season…

Doktor Zymm

Poncho wearing fans? really?

King Hippo

taking Hippo’s day with GAMBLOR to 1-1-1, the big dice roll (DAL moneyline to WIN) still to come.

I have so much belief in “back against the wall” DAK! that I placed 3 bills on it @ +180

Spur

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King Hippo

I gots K-State right yesterday at +900, ninja!!

King Hippo

/should have been my $300 impulse

theeWeeBabySeamus

I borked even. Am done for the day bcuz I don’t trust Dallas or Philly either one.

litre_cola

I for one will be rooting against you.

King Hippo

c’mon, the Iggles have to have a setback and battle adversity at least ONCE. Builds character.

Spur

This Sunday Night game looks like a boring matchup. You should all skip it.

Redshirt

Touchdown, AJ Green!

Everyone (that counts) wins!

King Hippo

and the dam finally breaks

montythisseemsstrangetome

But the Broncos’ offense still has…
oh yeah. ?

King Hippo

Honestly do not recall last time an NFL squadron hit the 60 mark, and think the Shitty Clippers should go for it.

Redshirt

I think the Pats did it in the snow once,

King Hippo

oh yeah, that Titans game?

/plus there was always that unspeakable DEN/SF Superb Owl, my ass still hurts from that

Spur

Why was Taylor benched to begin with?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Excessive melanin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Massive front office confidence in an incompetent backup

litre_cola

Contract bullshit, guarantees or something, plus they wanted to see if they had anything with Peterman.

King Hippo

well, consider things seen

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t know today was “every Charger gets a TD” day. I didn’t even know that was a holiday.

LemonJello

One for every person in the stands?

Spur

Welcome to the People’s Republic of California.

Gratliff

So Bills’ entire staff from trainer up is fired on the way home, right?

blaxabbath

On twitter alone, i know all about the Bills qb drama and all the associated hot takes. Now i know Taylor is back in and they’re abandoning any controversy. And I do not follow BUF at all.

This is why the Golden Football League will work.

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I think I may buy some wine. I rarely drink wine,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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At first I thought this said “abortion pills” and I wanted to assure you I am impregnating no one and my dick is dryer than the high-altitude Mexican air.